Netflix And Chill: Maestro (2023)

There's a joke that I vaguely remember, featured in at least one sitcom (but perhaps not unique), about someone spending so much time obsessing over something, a skill they want to perfect or a mammoth task that they want to complete, only to then see their achievement completely surpassed by someone who seemed to do better in a way that also felt quite effortless. The character was obviously devastated, regretting all of the time and energy that now seemed wasted. I suspect Bradley Cooper may feel the same way if, as I suspect may happen, Maestro goes through the busy awards season without adding too many paperweights to his trophy cabinet.

Although this is all about the life of celebrated conductor and composer Leonard Bernstein (Cooper), with a strong focus on how he was supported by his wife, Felicia (Carey Mulligan), it's a strange and cold experience that allows Cooper to create a parallel between himself and his subject. As the end credits rolled, I found myself wondering whether or not Bernstein had lived a life that seemed worth turning into a 2+ hour movie. With the greatest of respect to his fans and loved ones, I don't think he did.

From the use of Bernstein's music throughout to the unnecessary directorial flourishes, from the black and white sequences that lead in to the colour of the second half, everything here signifies a star seeking approval. "Look at all of my great work," Cooper seems to be crying. "Look at the make-up on my face to make me look more like Bernstein and honestly not intended to offend people". "Look at what I can do to make this story as cinematic as possible." "Look at how I handle this complex character." It's desperate, and it's not enough to distract from the fact that the film just doesn't really work.

While both Cooper and Mulligan have been on the publicity trail, they have both been at pains to frame the film as being just as much about Felicia as Leonard. They might believe that, and they might believe that Felicia was strong and supportive to a husband who needed her in his life, but the film doesn't quite convey the relationship as well as intended. Leonard Bernstein was a selfish man who spent a lot of time having his cake and eating it, all while gaslighting a woman who seemed to put up with him because the circumstances sometimes suited her.

None of these failings would seem as bad if the lead performances were good enough, but they're not. It doesn't give me any pleasure to say that, having enjoyed Cooper and (particularly) Mulligan in numerous other films, but their performing here feels more like caricature than anything else. The film doesn't know this though, staying focused on them for almost the entirety of the tiring runtime, which is the fault of Cooper the director, working from a script co-written by Cooper and Josh Singer. The supporting cast are all wasted, which makes you wonder why Cooper even bothered casting Matt Bomer, Sarah Silverman (who tries admirably to make the most of her limited role), and Maya Hawke as extra flotsam and jetsam left bobbing in the wake of Leonard Bernstein's callous carelessness.

A lot of people will enjoy this for what it is. It's an old-fashioned film that has the benefit of being able to pluck various tunes from the many works of Bernstein. It's a shame that Cooper tried to show everyone that he was delivering the greatest work of his life, both behind and in front of the camera. I was bored, sometimes angered, and never once happy to be learning about a manipulative narcissist who I would prefer to always identify through the fine body of musical work that he left behind.

3/10

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Screwed (2000)

The only film both written AND directed by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, Screwed is an enjoyably silly comedy starring Norm MacDonald in the lead role. The acting isn’t amazing, the plotting is unbelievably stupid, but fans of the star will have a great time with it.

MacDonald plays Willard Fillmore, a man who has spent most of his adult life as a butler/chauffeur/cleaner for the thrifty Miss Crock (Elaine Stritch). She is so mean to him that she won’t even buy him a new suit, making him wear the same one that she had removed from his father’s dead body. Hatching a plan that involves kidnapping her beloved dog, Willard and his friend, Rusty (Dave Chappelle), end up committing to a life of crime, which ends in disaster. The dog escapes, which means Miss Crock is left with the impression that Willard is the one kidnapped. And why would she pay ransom money for Willard?

If you only see one Norm MacDonald movie then you should definitely see Dirty Work, which is his best actual movie, thanks to the gags and supporting cast. But if you see two then you should easily make room for this one, which is a lot of fun. Highlights include a battle with the small dog, the main characters making a video of Willard “pleading for his freedom”, and a meeting with a gross and inappropriate morgue attendant (Danny DeVito).

Even if you were unaware, it’s clear that Alexander and Karaszewski are much more comfortable as writers than directors. There’s no real style or finesse here, from the shot choices to the soundtrack, and the focus is always on simply moving from one gag to the next. That isn’t necessarily the worst thing ever though, especially in a comedy that you don’t expect great cinema from. This isn’t great cinema. It’s just great fun.

MacDonald was never a great leading man, which I am sure he would agree with, but he was used a couple of times in films that managed to use his style without trying to change him. That works well, probably because he seemed to never change for the sake of others anyway. Love or hate him, Norm was unique. Chappelle is a fun co-star here, his nervous energy working well alongside the laconic and dry style of MacDonald. Stritch is good as the tight-fisted employer who mistreats her staff, Sherman Hemsley has a few scenes as another member of staff, Daniel Benzali is a tough detective who doesn’t like loose ends (which is obviously problematic for our leads), and Sarah Silverman has a small role as an ex-girlfriend who might be able to help MacDonald’s character, if she is filled in on the details of the scheme. And DeVito steals a couple of scenes as that aforementioned morgue attendant.

The more I think about it now, the more I can recall that made me heartily chuckle. It may never appear on many “favourite movie” lists, and it won’t ever be discussed in the context of cinema that made an impact on psyches and pop culture, but it is a comedy that delivers a steady stream of good gags. Which makes it worth your time when you just want to laugh.

7/10

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School Of Rock (2003)

If there was ever an award for the Jack Blackiest movie to feature Jack Black in a main role then it would surely go to School Of Rock. You get the rock music, obviously, and the general worshipping at the altar of rock. You get odd improvisational vocal riffs and ridiculous rock posturing. You get a lead character who seems to not be doing much with his life, and also proves himself to be far from the brightest bulb at times. And there's a message about being true to yourself, and not necessarily caring about what others may think as you find your inner cool.

Black plays Dewey Finn, a band member who finds himself with no band. He also has no job. And no money. He owes rent, which is becoming a problem for his friend/flatmate, Ned (played by Mike White, who also wrote the script), mainly because Ned is being told to assert himself by his girlfriend, Patty (Sarah Silverman). When Dewey takes a message by phone for a temp teaching job position for Ned, he decides to take on the role and earn some money. He figures it will be easy, the kids will enjoy not having to actually learn, and nobody will be hurt. And then he finds out that some of the young pupils are pretty good with musical instruments. So he has an idea to create another band.

Directed by Richard Linklater, School Of Rock is an easy crowdpleaser, as long as you don't mind Jack Black (and I think it's fair to say that this was released during the time when he was at the peak of his popularity, before people started to tire of his schtick). Although it seems unlike anything Linklater would want to helm, the fact that every scene feels infused with the sweat of rock legends starts to make you realise that this is a natural pairing.

Black is as you have seen him so many other times, sometimes being lazy and unmotivated and sometimes being a whirling ball of energy as he gets fired up by the power of rock. This remains the best role that he's had for the rock-worshipping side of his personality, and he is consistently excellent. White and Silverman are the negging motivators, with Silverman taking on the thankless role of the main complainer, and both of them are good in their scenes. Joan Cusack excels as the head of the school, a woman who worries so much about the reputation of the school, and the care of the pupils, that she has developed a reputation as someone who never has any fun. But get a Stevie Nicks tune playing and she shows a different side.

Then we have the kids. They may be all painted in rather broad strokes, but they're not usually the butt of the jokes, not once Black settles more into his role and starts to see more in them than they may see themselves. The scene-stealer is Miranda Cosgrove as Summer Hathaway, a girl who prides herself on being a top student, but everyone does well. You get Robert Tsai (Lawrence, keyboard), Joey Gaydos Jr. (Zack, guitar), Kevin Clark (Freddy, drums), Rebecca Brown (Katie, bass), Brian Falduto (Billy, costumes), Zachary Infante (Gordon, lighting), and Maryam Hassan, Caitlin Hale, and Aleisha Allen as singers. Every single one of them gets at least one moment in the spotlight, either through their musical talent or an amusing line of dialogue.

The soundtrack is made up of the obvious greats, making this a treat for the ears, and that script is a perfect example of how to throw enough fun characters and situations onscreen in a way that allows viewers to suspend disbelief as things move towards a completely predictable, and satisfying, grand finale.  Silly and ridiculously implausible as it is, it's also a pretty perfect choice for whenever you are after a movie to please a group with a wide age range.

8/10

You can buy the movie here.
American readers can buy it here.

Ani-MAY-tion: Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018)

It has been a number of years since I saw, and enjoyed, Wreck-It Ralph, the tale of a videogame baddie (Ralph, played by John C. Reilly) who tried to give himself a different role in life while befriending the a glitching racer girl named Vanellope (Sarah Silverman).

This gets going quickly enough, and the main theme this time is friendship, and how to always be there as a friend by knowing when to step back. There are other things in the mix, but that is the main element, and it's underscored by the grand finale.

Story-wise, the Sugar Rush arcade game ends up breaking a steering wheel. As it is an old machine, the arcade owner isn't sure if it will be fixed or just removed from the arcade, which would leave Vanellope without a home. Luckily, she and Ralph have just learned about the internet, which has just been installed. So they head off to ebay, bid far too much for a replacement steering wheel, and then have to figure out how to earn enough money to pay for it before their allotted time runs out. This involves a bit of treasure hunting for special game treats and, eventually, Ralph trying to become a viral hit.

The voice cast, both the returning performers and the newcomers, are all doing great work here (everyone fitting their characters as well as they did the first time around). Reilly and Silverman make a very cute central pairing, Gal Gadot and Taraji P. Henson are two female characters who are very powerful in differing ways, and there are great little turns from Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch, Alan Tudyk, and Bill Hader.

Directors Phil Johnston and Rich Moore (both involved with the first movie, which was directed solely by Moore) do a great job throughout. They're helped hugely by the animation team, and the animation is gorgeous and fun throughout (there are SO many details to look out for on rewatched), and the script, co-written by Johnston and Pamela Ribon, with the help of many others, is smart and very funny, while also largely keeping things cute and aimed very much at the child audience.

The fact that Disney now own almost everything in the world means that you also get a world in which Disney princesses feature alongside Star Wars characters, as well as Pixar stars, and familiar Marvel faces (well, at least one). And you once again get a fun mix of well-known videogame characters interacting with one another.

Visually lush, emotionally resonant (especially for children who make friends so easily but may then have to adjust to the normal status quo of friendships ebbing and flowing), and featuring a finale with one of the best, funniest, rescue sequences I have seen in the past couple of decades, Ralph Breaks The Internet is even slightly better than the original film, which I enjoyed a lot. Highly recommended.

9/10

You can buy the disc here.
Americans can get it here.

A Million Ways To Die In The West (2014)

I quite like Seth MacFarlane, despite the fact that he often sets off my Spidey-sense when he delivers gags that feel more mean-spirited than actually funny. Ted was a lot of fun, but a lot of good work,and goodwill, was undone by MacFarlane's stint hosting the 2013 Academy Awards. He just didn't seem as funny when not hidden behind a character.

The premise is standard stuff. MacFarlane plays Albert, a peace-loving sheep farmer living in the wild west. He doesn't really fit in there, due to his lack of courage and the fact that he's never fired a gun, but he's happy enough with his lady, Louise (Amanda Seyfried). Until Louise ditches him, claiming that she needs time to herself before quickly latching on to the dapper Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Just when he's at a real low point, Albert meets the lovely Anna (Charlize Theron), a woman who decides to help him grow a spine and perhaps even win back the love of his life. Unfortunately, Albert and Anna grow close, which causes some serious friction when her husband, the outlaw known as Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), arrives in town.

Let's get straight to the point here, the biggest problem with A Million Ways To Die In The West is Seth MacFarlane. He directed the film, he co-wrote the script (with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild), and he stars in the lead role. Despite weakness in all three areas, it's probably his attempt to be a leading man that drags the film down the most. He's just not a likable enough onscreen presence to hold together a movie. When not delivered from behind an animated curtain,  the gags and dialogue just come across as smug and obvious.

The rest of the cast try their best, with Theron particularly enjoyable for every moment that she's onscreen. Seyfried and Harris are fun, and Neeson does okay, but isn't given enough screentime to make a better villain. Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman are a loving couple, despite the fact that the latter works every day as a prostitute while convincing her man that they should both save their own sexual activity for when they get married. There are also some great cameos, with one being SO good that it almost made me want to give the movie a bonus point, but to name names would spoil the surprises.

But the cast can only take you so far. At just under two hours, A Million Ways To Die In The West is far too long and far too misguided in attempts to wring humour from the scenario. Oh, if people think that seeing a sheep's penis in detail before it urinates on someone is funny then they will enjoy themselves. Similarly, anyone wanting to see a hat pretending to be filled with liquid excrement might chuckle, but someone hoping to see the unnecessary shot of the hat being knocked so that the liquid excrement starts to spill out onto the ground will find that this is their dream movie. Oh yes, those "gags" are in the movie. Thankfully, a lot of the other gags are better, but not by much.

There's some nice cinematography, and the kind of rousing score that you'd expect from a Western, but those are the only two elements that MacFarlane gets right. There's no love here for the movies, and certainly little attempt to twist the tropes of the genre (other than the obvious High Noon stuff). And, worst of all, the whole thing constantly feels just like a movie. It's self-conscious at almost every turn, but also self-satisfied, which makes it feel lazy and irritating.

Feel free to disbelieve me and check it out for yourself, but this is yet another film that packs most of the best bits into the trailer (and at least one gag that wasn't present, which I'm sure will be shoehorned into the "unrated, even ruder, even more dangerous" extended version that will hit shiny disc). It's not really worth your time or money.

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Million-Ways-Blu-ray-DIGITAL-UltraViolet/dp/B00KM9MP9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401818195&sr=8-1&keywords=a+million+ways+to+die+in+the+west+blu+ray