Monty Python And The Holy Grail (1975)

Monty Python And The Holy Grail is my favourite film from the Pythons. I really love Life Of Brian, but this film just has even more inspired lunacy in the mix. The big laughs here are BIGGER laughs, to me, and it's one of the most quotable movies of all time. Don't believe me? Ask any fan about it and see how long it takes to hear them reel off a full quote.

What's the story? Well, it's supposed to be all about King Arthur (Graham Chapman) assembling the Knights Of The Round Table and going on a quest for the holy grail, but it's really just a series of fantastic sketches that use the time and characters to wring the maximum comedy from every moment of screentime.

It starts off with the opening of Dentist On The Job (a gag that surely confused a number of cinema-goers back in the mid-70s), moves into a number of sequences in which those responsible for the subtitles try to further their own bizarre agenda and then, eventually, gets to the main "storyline".

Directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones, and written and acted by the whole gang (Chapman, John Cleese, Gilliam, Eric Idle, Jones and Michael Palin), there are also small, but memorable, roles for Connie Booth - playing a witch, with a witch nose and everything - and Carol Cleveland.

I have tried to refrain from simply listing all of my favourite scenes, but it's hard. The film is like a Greatest Hits Of Comedy album with no weak spots. There are amusing animated skits from Gilliam, some hilarious anachronisms, the Camelot Song (Knights Of The Round Table), the Black Knight, the Knights Who Say 'Ni' and much, much more.

Okay, I caved in and listed a lot of my favourite scenes, but even that doesn't begin to cover it. The only way I could fully express my love for every moment of this movie would be to just copy and paste the entire script here. It's THAT good.

I have to go now. I've been ordered to cut down a tree . . . . . with a herring.

10/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Monty-Python-Grail-Blu-ray-Region/dp/B0015GQ3EA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1373011211&sr=8-2&keywords=monty+python+and+the+holy+grail

Monty Python's Life Of Brian (1979)

An irreverent, clever look at religion from the Monty Python team, this comedy classic tells the story of Brian (Graham Chapman), a young man who spends his life, due to numerous coincidences, being mistaken at particularly inconvenient moments for the messiah when he was, in fact, born in the stable next door. He gets himself involved with the People's Front of Judea (not to be confused with the Judean People's Front . . . . . . . . . . splitters!) and is soon wanted by the Romans for a number of crimes. Considering the fact that just uttering the line "that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah" is enough to get a man stoned to death, things don't look too good for Brian.

Directed by Terry Jones, the script features the usual contributions from the whole team (Jones, Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle and Michael Palin) and the gang also take their usual selection of multiple roles. Taking one example, Michael Palin plays an ex-leper cured by Jesus and still trying to make a living from begging, a spectator insulted for his big nose, Pontius Pilate, a member of the People's Front of Judea named Francis and quite a few more memorable characters.

While the comedy is still scattershot in places, this is a more cohesive and focused film than many others from the Python troupe. Fans of Terry Gilliam's artwork may wish there was a bit more of it here, but there's a glorious title sequence and at least one other enjoyable skit later in the film that features some of his art. Everyone involved seems to agree that they were at their peak here, with Chapman in especially fine form, and the tightrope being walked, as they tried to make the best film possible with such controversial central subject matter, may have helped.

Despite what the thin-skinned, quick-to-take-offence, complainers will say, Monty Python's Life Of Brian isn't actually an offensive movie, unless you're offended by being made to laugh so hard. Jesus is mentioned, parallels are made, but the gang never actually mock the life of Christ directly. What they do is much better than that. They make jokes about the time, about the attitudes and about blindly following people who may be equally desperate for signs to show them the way forward. It's about silly names, the importance of correct grammar and the futility of people fighting against each other, despite having the same aim.

And it poses that vital question: "What have the Romans ever done for us?"

9/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Monty-Pythons-Life-Brian-Immaculate/dp/B000X4ZGL6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372929082&sr=8-2&keywords=life+of+brian

Demons Of The Mind (1972)

Robert Hardy plays a smothering father in this bizarre, lesser Hammer film directed, with little enthusiasm or flair, by Peter Sykes. His son and daughter (Shane Briant and Gillian Hills) are kept locked up as much as possible, kept away from each other and kept in a weakened state thanks to some regular bleeding. Hardy is convinced that his children have inherited a family madness and hopes that a visiting psychiatrist (Patrick Magee) can find a cure. Meanwhile, local villagers are getting up in arms as yet another poor woman's body is found in the woods.

With a lame script by Christopher Wicking, horribly ham-fisted approach to the material, a lot of overacting and very little gore, this Hammer horror has very little in it to recommend to fans. It does have a soupçon of nudity for fans of Gillian Hills and Virginia Wetherell, and a few great utterances from the enjoyable Magee, but that's really all there is to it.

Most of the cast are completely wasted, with the notable exceptions of Kenneth J. Warren, who has fun in the role of a manservant often going above and beyond the call of duty, and the eye-rolling Magee. Hardy, Briant, Hills, Wetherell, Paul Jones, Robert Brown and even the great Michael Hordern, are all given pretty short shrift.

The ideas put forward, especially during the finale of the movie, are actually quite interesting and twisted for Hammer, but a good movie does not come from intriguing ideas alone. It may be as handsomely staged as ever, but this is one best avoided by anyone other than completists.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Ultimate-Hammer-Collection-Disc/dp/B000HN31KQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372871091&sr=8-1&keywords=hammer+box+set

Casting Couch (2013)

Casting Couch is horrible, but there are minor moments here and there that are good. There's also a good mix of characters to provide some comedy. Unfortunately, that's all overshadowed by the horrible, horrible premise that could have worked if it was done in a way that was somehow more deftly dealt with and less . . . . . . . . . . . . sleazy.

Justin Smith plays Justin, a young man who wants to help his friend Chase Lockwood (Jason Lockhart) mend a broken heart. Of course, young men mend broken hearts by sleeping with as many attractive women as possible, but that's not always easy to arrange. Thankfully, Justin has a cunning plan. He wants to audition people for various roles in a movie that won't ever be made. It's all just a ruse to get the guys in close proximity with a number of beautiful women, many of whom will perform nudity if the role requires it.

As well as giving himself the leading role, Jason Lockhart was also the writer and director for this lacklustre bit of bawdiness. The presentation of the film just feels cheap, in the same way that so many other video diary/mockumentary movies can feel cheap when the framing device feels completely unnecessary. The script doesn't have any zingers in the dialogue, although there are one or two decent comedic moments that develop from the interaction and development of the characters, but this is unlikely to be the kind of film that people seek out for sparkling wit and ear-tickling monologues anyway.

Despite the fact that Lockhart isn't great as writer or director, I have to say that as an actor . . . . . . . he's also not great. The rest of the cast, for the most part, stay on his level and I'm not going to single anyone else out for praise or criticism. I think it's fair to stop the buck with Lockhart.

My rating here is generous, but I realise that my review may not have made things clear regarding just how disheartening this movie is and how it takes the dubious material and makes it worse. Never fear, IMDb is here to help. If you're wondering whether or not this movie is for you, here are the plot keywords added by users of the site to give people a feel for the film:

hot pants	girl stripped down to panties
female nudity	gender stereotype
asian stereotype	swimming in underwear
redhead	fake movie deal
pool party	aspiring actress
bra less	mock documentary
casting call	topless sunbathing
red panties	diva
red dress	gay stereotype
skinny dipping	topless female nudity
porn actress	film within a film
slut	sexism

And I think that's all the information you need.

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/Casting-Couch-Jason-Lockhart/dp/B00ANRG4A0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368724838&sr=8-1&keywords=casting+couch

Many, many reviews just like (and even including) this one appear in this book that I wrote.

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

EIFF 2013: Wrapping Up - The Flickfeast Overview.

Here is the full list of what I managed to see at EIFF 2013. I WILL edit this when the four remaining reviews are published on Flickfeast.

10 Rillington Place.
The Boston Strangler.
Fantastic Voyage.
The Narrow Margin.
Soylent Green.
Breathe In.
Monsters University.
After seeing We Steal Secrets: The Story Of WikiLeaks I was very happy to get an interview with the director, Alex Gibney.
Not Another Happy Ending.
Before You Know It.
Blackbird.
C.O.G
The Complex.
The Conjuring.
Die Welt.
Everyone’s Going To Die.
Fire In The Night.
First Cousin Once Removed.
Frances Ha.
Frankenstein’s Army.
The Great Hip Hop Hoax.
Harry Dean Stanton: Partly Fiction.
Hawking.
I Am Breathing.
I Catch A Terrible Cat.Ji Seul.Kiss The Water.
Leviathan.
A Long Way From Home.
Lukas The Strange.
Magic Magic.
Mister John.
My Dog Killer.
Old Stock.
Outpost: Rise Of The Spetsnaz.
The Sea.
Shooting Bigfoot.
Sofia’s Last Ambulance.
A Story Of Children And Film.
Struck By Lightning.
Svengali.
The Swimming Pool (La Piscina).
This Is Martin Bonner.
Three Sisters.
Up And Away.
Upstream Colour.
Uwantme2killhim?
What Maisie Knew.
When Night Falls (Wo Hai You Hua Yao Shuo).
You & Me Forever.

And, to make it all just the most fun ever, THIS happened. I tried to get it all to go viral but, alas, no.

And that's it. My personal best. FIFTY movies in just under a fortnight. If only I could apply the same amount of energy to something useful ;-)

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Orphan (2009)

Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard play Kate and John Coleman, a couple very much in love with each other and with their children (Daniel, played by Jimmy Bennett, and hearing-impaired Max, played by young Aryana Engineer) and who have, to put it lightly, been through a really bad time of things. One problem birth that went horribly wrong, the accident that cost young Max her hearing, Kate's drinking problem. Hopefully, that's all now in the past as the couple realise just how much they have and decide to share their lives with someone less fortunate than most by adopting young, eccentric Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman, who is quite superb). It's not long until friction is caused, however, and it seems that Esther may have some hidden agenda despite her youthfulness but will anyone else see her manipulative ways except Kate, who keeps running into a barrier of disbelief thanks to the mistakes of her past.

Dark Castle, as those who have read some of my other reviews may know, have almost always provided me with the kind of fun horror I can easily enjoy even if it's unlikely to top anyone's "favourite movie" list. They do it once again here with a movie that builds tension nicely, throws in some genuinely uncomfortable moments and provides a great mix of uneasiness and more obvious shocks that should keep most modern movie audiences pleased.

The acting is all top notch with Farmiga and Sarsgaard anchoring the whole thing with performances that feel very real and naturalistic and, most importantly, believable amidst a plot that starts to pile up the number of unusual events and "coincidences" it needs to build up to the revelatory finale. The child stars also do very well and Isabelle Fuhrman does not get extra praise simply for landing the juicier role, she's really great in every scene she's in and able to run through a whole gamut of characteristics whether they be faked for the benefit of an audience or genuinely peeking out from behind the mask of her character.

Another string to Orphan's bow is how it mixes the slightly absurd with the very real, affecting horror of things such as the potential loss of loved ones, the acceptance of someone new into the family unit and the guilt that parents can live with for many years while keeping things hidden from everyone around them. Jealousy is a major force in this movie and children vying for attention from their parents can be selfish, manipulative and ruthless in many ways . . . . . . so Orphan just manages to take that to an extreme and let things unfold with horrific consequences.

Impressively handled by director Jaume Collet-Serra, it's rare to see a mainstream horror movie handling such disturbing themes (and, despite the glossy coating, there are certainly a few disturbing themes throughout) and all involved should be given a tip of the hat for getting right behind the material and giving us something that ends up being familiar. But oh so different.

7/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Orphan-Blu-ray-Vera-Farmiga/dp/B002KAIVL8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372662105&sr=8-2&keywords=orphan

Harry Brown (2009)

Daniel Barber's first full-length feature could, at a casual glance, be seen as a lazy way to fast-track him into the growing collection of great UK film-makers such as Shane Meadows, Danny Boyle, Christopher Smith, Neil Marshall, Guy Ritchie (YES, I said Guy Ritchie), Michael Winterbottom and others. It's a crime movie, it's done with a measured amount of gritty realism and it's got Michael Caine in it. So far so seen-it-all-before. But Harry Brown brings a bit more to the mix than just that.

Michael Caine IS Harry Brown, an old man living on a rather dilapidated council estate, spending his time either visiting his ill wife, playing chess with his friend Leonard (David Bradley) or simply filling the lonely, bleak hours in between such little moments of pleasure while, around him, the local area is going to ruin thanks to local teenagers playing with knives, guns and drugs and terrorising those who try to get on with their daily lives. When things happen that directly affect Harry he is then forced into making a decision he never thought he would make . . . . . . and to start cleaning up the estate. But it's not long before one good policewoman (Emily Mortimer) starts to suspect Harry's hand in the latest, bizarre events.

Michael Caine is an icon, an untouchable living British legend who can get by simply by being Michael Caine nowadays. Which is why it's been all the more impressive to see him put in damn fine performances in recent years and his portrayal of Harry Brown is one of his very best. Vulnerable and weak one moment, tough and dangerous the next, it's all believable thanks to Caine's performance. It helps that he's surrounded by the likes of Emily Mortimer, Liam Cunningham, Sean Harris and a group of young actors who all put in excellent acts, even while playing people you hope to never, ever meet in your life.

The character motivation feels real enough, the twists and turns don't leave you feeling cheated and the script stays truthful (sometimes disturbingly so) within the environment created for the movie so that's a success for writer Gary Young and director Daniel Barber that goes beyond any that a mix of standard crime antics and flashes of style could have provided.

The overall experience may be a little bit cold and bleak for some viewers but this is still a movie worth seeing, one that both entertains and makes you wince while also raising a number of moral questions as events move towards the climax.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Harry-Brown-Blu-ray-Michael-Caine/dp/B002XWV3C2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372487268&sr=8-2&keywords=harry+brown

Arthur (2011)

A remake of the much-loved 1981 movie, this time around drunken, childish Arthur is played by Russell Brand, Hobson is played by Helen Mirren and the love interest has become Naomi (played by Greta Gerwig). Luis Guzman is the chauffeur, Jennifer Garner is Susan Johnson and Nick Nolte is her scary father.

A quick reminder of the plot. Arthur is a drunk but a very, VERY rich drunk so that’s fine. The fact that he’s always in the news isn’t so fine and so his mother (played by Geraldine James) tells him that he must marry Susan Johnson or be cut off from the money. This happens, annoyingly enough, just as he meets and falls for the lovely Naomi.

Written by Peter Baynham (with plenty of lines and spirit, pun intended, lifted from the original) and directed by Jason Winer, Arthur could have been something really enjoyable. Russell Brand can do an eccentric drunk in his sleep so everything else should have fallen into place, right? Wrong. For some reason it was decided to make Arthur less of a staggering drunkard (though he’s drunk a lot of the time) and more of an outright man-child in this version, meaning that we have to suffer through an appalling performance from Brand that has him putting on a very childish voice and acting just like someone who’s been doped up with drugs. I’m sure this choice was made so that the film wouldn’t be seen to be deriving fun from alcoholism in these PC-infested times but it’s a bad choice and throws off the whole film. 

Everyone else is good and that’s a great shame because it simply highlights the poor performance from Brand, someone who I have so far always enjoyed in movie roles. Mirren makes a more than adequate replacement for John Gielgud and the bond between Arthur and Hobson is more obvious and easier to understand this time around. Gerwig does just fine as Naomi and Garner certainly does well as Susan Johnson, who is a colder and more calculating character in the remake than she was in either of the 80s movies. Guzman is very funny and Nolte is believably fear-inducing.

There are individual moments of fun, and a nice selection of movie cars, and the main character eventually gains your sympathy as the movie winds towards a predictable finale but this is inferior to the original and inferior to many other comedies released this year. 

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Arthur-Triple-Blu-ray-Digital-Region/dp/B004Q9SYYA/ref=sr_1_8?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1371664113&sr=1-8&keywords=arthur

Arthur 2: On The Rocks (1988)

As is the way of many a sequel, the follow up to Arthur comes with a longer runtime and less worthy content.

Arthur (Dudley Moore once again) is now living happily with Linda (Liza Minnelli) and the two are planning to adopt a child, despite Arthur’s ongoing enjoyment of anything containing alcohol. Things take a turn for the worse when Burt Johnson (a returning Stephen Elliott), who harbours a grudge like you wouldn’t believe, finds a way to cut off Arthur’s income and uses the situation as leverage to force the man into marrying his daughter, Susan (played this time by Cynthia Sikes).

It’s Bud Yorkin in the director’s chair this time around, working from Andy Breckman’s screenplay, and he does okay while being ill-served by material that was barely able to fill out one whole movie, let alone justify a sequel.

Moore acts the perfect loveable drunkard yet again, Minnelli somehow tolerates his behaviour, Stephen Elliott is not onscreen for long but a great hardass when he is, Cynthia Sikes portrays Susan as someone so appealing that you begin to wonder why Arthur doesn’t just go along with the forced marriage and Paul Benedict has the unenviable task of replacing John Gielgud as the new butler, living in the large shadow cast his predecessor. There’s also an appearance by Kathy Bates, playing a woman trying to help Arthur and Linda adopt a baby as if the two were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

The film is passable enough, certainly for those who enjoyed spending time with the character of Arthur the first time around, but it’s not something I really enjoyed considering how I rated the first film as just above average anyway. This gets a generous . . . . . . . . . . 

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Arthur-2-Rocks-DVD/dp/B004MW57CI/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1371663496&sr=1-1&keywords=arthur+2 

Arthur (1981)

A 1980s comedy that relies very much on the charm of its leading man, Dudley Moore, Arthur is a fun film that just about holds up today though it comes very close to overstaying it’s welcome. If you dislike Dudley Moore then you’ll dislike this movie so bear that in mind (it begins with the sound of his laughter and that’s the most common noise throughout the entire film).

Arthur (Moore) is a man who refuses to grow up and take responsibility in life. That’s okay though, he’s also the heir to a fortune of about $750 million. His best relationship is with his butler, Hobson (a scene-stealing John Gielgud), unless you count his warm, ongoing friendship with anything alcoholic. Things come to a crunch after one embarrassment too many and Arthur is given an ultimatum by his family – marry a girl deemed a good choice for him (Susan, played by Jill Eikenberry) or be cut off from the money. A difficult decision is made even more difficult after Arthur bumps into, and falls for, Linda (Liza Minnelli).

Much like the main character, Arthur bumbles and stumbles along merrily enough, for the most part, but also tries your patience on occasion. Moore can act well as a loveable drunkard, Minnelli is sassy and quite cute and Sir Gielgud invests his every scene with a presence and nobility they don’t necessarily deserve. Barney Martin is also very enjoyable as Linda’s father.

Writer-director Steve Gordon gets a lot right but also seems to be overstretching the lightweight material at times. Perhaps that’s simply due to the inherent problems you always have when in the company of a full-time drunkard, things start to get a little less humorous and patience is worn down.

It’s hard to sympathise with a main character who has had such an enjoyable free ride through life and rarely shows anything other than selfishness and cowardice so it’s to Gordon and Moore’s credit that audiences warmed to Arthur as much as they did.

Add a memorable and Oscar-winning, though overused to the point of irritation, song by Christopher Cross (The Best That You Can Do AKA Arthur’s Theme) and you have a film that many will retain a nostalgic affection for, despite the  mis-steps.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Arthur-DVD-Dudley-Moore/dp/B00004CYRB/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371663132&sr=8-1&keywords=arthur 

Layer Cake (2004)

Layer Cake is an important movie for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's the film that saw the hugely talented Matthew Vaughn step out from the shadow of Guy Ritchie (he'd previously been producer on Ritchie's movies). Secondly, it showed Daniel Craig's leading man potential and even, yes, gives him a Bond moment. Third, it showed that British crime movies could still be fresh and entertaining without coming across as some pale Lock, Stock-wannabe. Fourth . . . . okay, I'm not sure if there are any more reasons so I'll stop there. But Layer Cake is certainly more, thanks to what it achieved, than just another UK gangster movie.

The story revolves all around Daniel Craig's smart drug dealer, a man who wants to make his million and get out of the business. Of course, anyone who makes the big shots a lot of money will always struggle to extricate themselves from the criminal lifestyle and that's exactly the case here. Avoiding the police, trying to stay alive and setting up a deal involving a million stolen pills, Craig really has his work cut out for him.

Mixing a smart script with great performances (Craig is superb but he's more than capably supported by the likes of Kenneth Cranham, Colm Meaney, Michael Gambon and everyone else who appears alongside him), cool visuals and an ideal soundtrack this film may not cover any new ground but it gives everything a fresh coat of paint with it's easygoing, effortless air of . . . . cool. This film has style in abundance. That's not to say that it glorifies the lifestyles shown or any of the violence we see, hell no. There are people here we'd never want to meet in real life and when things erupt into violence they do so with absolute brutality, impacting on the lives of those involved. There are no consequence-free, thoughtless actions here. Everything is weighed up and accounted for, even if it's after the fact.

It's an absolute corker of a film that has grown on me with each subsequent viewing. I'm sure that many others will still simply cast it aside as "yet another British gangster flick" but that's not the case and I hope that others give it a chance and end up enjoying it as much as I do.

9/10

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/Layer-Cake-DVD-Daniel-Craig/dp/B0006HIPOK/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1371682047&sr=8-5&keywords=layer+cake

Lust For A Vampire (1971)

Ahhhhhhhhh Yutte Stensgaard. Lovely, lovely Yutte Stensgaard.

Aaaahhhh Yutte. Yutte, Yutte, Yutte.

A Hammer vampire movie directed by Jimmy Sangster, and written by Tudor Gates (is that name real? I'm not sure, but I'll assume that it is), let me get through this proper bit of the review as quickly as possible before getting to the main reason I love this movie and rate it so highly. Though you might have already guessed what, or who, that main reason is.

Lust For A Vampire is not the best Hammer movie, not by a long shot. The tale, all about an infernal clan who can avoid death and then feed off the blood of the living, is nothing unique. Young women wander around at the wrong time, and/or in the wrong place, and start to turn up dead and rather pale. The setting (an all-girl school) is enjoyable enough for male viewers and the cast, for its time, even throws in something to keep the ladies happy in the form of dapper Michael Johnson. Others appearing include Ralph Bates, Barbara Jefford, Helen Christie and the very pretty Suzanna Leigh.

There ARE other people in this movie, but they're not Yutte Stensgaard.

But they are not the reason for me wanting to see this movie for years and years. Oh no, not at all. That dubious honour belongs to the one and only Yutte Stensgaard. A woman so beautiful that I pined for her long before my young mind knew quite what I was pining for (having only seen her in pictures - in The Dark Side Magazine, my only real source of all things horror when I was about 15 years old - and never managing to have caught her on screen). Her acting skills are quite bad, and she doesn't have much in the way of actual personality, but Yutte remains one of the loveliest women I have ever lusted after in movie form and is absolutely the right choice for a film with this title. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but it's my eye and my decision to rate this particular Hammer horror a 7/10 based on little more than my enjoyment of the woman I have been smitten with for many, many years.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Lovers-Lust-For-DVD/dp/B001AOHQ0M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370433547&sr=8-1&keywords=lust+for+a+vampire

 

Room for one more picture of Yutte? Of course there is.

Lady In The Water (2006)

Lady In The Water is, in so many ways, a film that is hard to take in while watching. It's so ridiculous, so self-indulgent and so messy that it's mesmerising in that way that bad cinema can be. The easy joy of mocking the film is tinged with a slight sadness that some aspects (some of the cast, the production design) are good. The biggest problem with the film is writer-director-star M. Night Shyamalan, who decided to crash and burn in a display of arrogance that should never have been indulged.

Bryce Dallas Howard plays the titular character, named Story, encountered one evening by an apartment building superintendent, Cleveland Heep, played by Paul Giamatti. She is in danger and needs to get home, but she also has something very important to tell at least one of the tenants living in the building. One man in particular, played by M. Night Shyamalan, may be the most important person among them. He may be the man destined to write a story that will change the world.

Yes, that's correct. M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed a movie in which someone is destined to write one of the most important works of the 21st century, and decided that he would be the best person to put in that role. Never mind the fact that he has a supporting cast that includes Bob Balaban, Jared Harris, Jeffrey Wright, Freddy Rodriguez and other contenders. It's all down to him. I didn't mention the actresses - Cindy Cheung, Sarita Choudhury, Mary Beth Hurt, etc. - because, sadly, they are all stuck in roles that are either purely expositional or just support for the men all jostling for position as the best person to help Story. At least, that's how it seemed to me.

Created as a modern fairytale, the movie actually works, almost, when fully committing to that approach. There are fantastical creatures (both good and bad), there is an opening narration, there are some nice, magical touches here and there. Unfortunately, everything else is designed to make the whole thing seem up to date and cool, which has the exact opposite effect.

The cast, for the most part, do well with what they're given. The weakest person onscreen is, you guessed it, M. Night Shyamalan. He'd already proven why he developed a career behind the camera as opposed to in front of it with cameo roles in his earlier movies, but he suddenly believes that he's a worthwhile addition to a pretty solid ensemble cast. No. No, he isn't.

I could say more about the movie. There are more small things worth praising and more minor criticisms that could be written here, but the shadow of Shyamalan's ego blocks out everything else. Giving more time over to the movie almost feels like giving too much attention to a toddler having a major shit fit in the middle of a supermarket. The movie came out, it was suitably chastised and now we should all just move along and stop staring.

4/10

The region-free Bluray is here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lady-Water-Blu-ray-Paul-Giamatti/dp/B000JU7KAE/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1368710961&sr=1-1&keywords=lady+in+the+water

Skyline (2010)

Skyline is a fantastic movie, absolutely superb, very possibly the top of its kind. For those wanting a movie to point at and use as an example of everything that's wrong with over-reliance on special effects. Going by more traditional criteria, Skyline is pretty terrible.

Eric Balfour and Scottie Thompson star in this sci-fi alien invasion movie that takes a few attractive young things (including Donald Faison and the gorgeous woman who was my motivation for watching this rubbish, Brittany Daniel) and then surrounds them with lots and lots of VFX in an attempt to stretch what should have been a decent 20-minute short film into a 90-minute feature.

Written by Joshua Cordes and Liam O'Donnell (a first-time script from two men who have more of a background in VFX work) and directed by the Strause brothers (Colin and Greg, two men who have more of a background in VFX work), this movie is astoundingly inept in a number of ways. It's impressive that the brothers managed, apparently, to get the film financed without assistance from any of the major studios, but maybe having someone else heavily invested in the thing would have stopped it from feeling quite so self-indulgent and silly.

The acting is okay, I suppose, but all of the characters are too lightly sketched out and pretty unlikable. Balfour and Thompson do their best, but they're not given anything decent to work with and so end up flailing around, waiting for the next barrage of special effects to take over. Faison and Daniel fare even worse, sadly, but even they get treated better than poor Crystal Reed, who is saddled with a character who does absolutely nothing of use at any stage. At least David Zayas gets one good moment, I can only imagine that he campaigned hard for it.

I was going to end on a charitable note here and say that there were one or two good ideas and it's just a shame that the rest of the film was such a disappointment. I can't even do that. There weren't one or two good ideas, with the notable exception of the final few minutes (which has, I'll begrudgingly admit, ONE good idea). The special effects are often well done, but that's all the movie has going for it. Which is not enough to make it worth watching.

3/10

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Hoodwinked! (2005)

The classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood gets twisted to good comedic effect in this animated movie, written and directed by Cory and Todd Edwards (with some assistance from Tony Leech in the writing department).

The film begins with 'Red' (Anne Hathaway) visiting her granny (Glenn Close), only to find that it's a wolf (Patrick Warburton) trying to pass himself off as the grey-haired relative. Then a screaming woodsman (James Belushi) smashes his way into the cottage. The whole situation is one big mess. Although it would seem that the wolf is the main baddie, Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers) is determined to unravel the whole thing and hear the different tales from everyone in order to get to the truth.

Despite the rather crude animation style (well, it's not awful but it's no PIXAR), Hoodwinked does enough to make for an entertaining viewing. The twisted fairy tale may have been played out over the past decade or so, but it can still be fun, especially when made into the form of a whodunnit.

The voice cast all do a good job (I could listen to Patrick Warburton read a phone book and I'd be laughing my ass off), and as well as the main players already mentioned there are roles for Andy Dick, Anthony Anderson, Xzibit and Chazz Palminteri, but the script never feels quite sharp or funny enough to make the most of them.

Of course, Hoodwinked! is aimed at kids and it does a lot right for the target demographic. The bright colours and larger than life characters all appeal (especially a mountain goat cursed to sing constantly instead of talk), everything is cute without being too sickly and there are plenty of easy laughs.

It's not that Hoodwinked! is bad, it's just not great. It's not that clever, it's not hilarious and it's not as technically polished as twenty other animated movies I could name off the top of my head. But stick the DVD on and the little ones will be happy from start to finish, which means that it has succeeded in its main aim.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hoodwinked-DVD-Glenn-Close-Voice/dp/B000JCET3S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368052139&sr=8-1&keywords=hoodwinked