The Missionary (1982)

I wish I could tell you that The Missionary was yet another film I regretted not seeing for years, but I can't. It's not a terrible film, and features a cast all being a lot of fun in their various roles, but it's not quite as good as I had hoped it would be.

Michael Palin plays Fortescue, a man of the cloth who returns to England and the love and kindness of his fiance, Deborah (Phoebe Nicholls). He still wants to do good work though, and soon ends up tasked by a Bishop (Denholm Elliott) to create a charitable home for the purpose of helping and rehabilitating prostitutes. Fortescue has to secure funding, which puts him in the sights of Lady Ames (Maggie Smith) and her husband (Trevor Howard), and he also ends up offering the women comfort in ways that would surely be frowned upon by the church.

Loosely based on the life of Reverend Harold Francis Davidson, aka the "prostitutes' padre", The Missionary has Palin also on board as a writer, and Richard Loncraine in the director's chair. Neither seem quite able to decide exactly the tone they want to go for, which leads to only a few scenes working as well as they should. This is a character piece, and Fortescue is fun to watch as he wrestles with his conscience, decides what ends up being the best way to help others, and gets himself further and further into a big mess that seems likely to prove his undoing at any minute. Loncraine doesn't make the best use of his talented cast, especially when there are people like Timothy Spall and Sophie Thompson in very small roles, but there is a lovely attention to period detail throughout that makes up for some of the less entertaining moments. 

Palin is very enjoyable in the lead role, all sweet innocence and good intentions. If he'd given himself a better script to work with then this could have easily been one of his best works. Smith is also very good, especially as she continues to create reasons for Fortescue to have to stay under her roof for a night she plans to make the most of. Howard and Elliott are as enjoyable as expected, Michael Hordern is a delightfully forgetful butler, and David Suchet does well in his feature debut, although his character only makes a few brief appearances in the back end of the film. Nicholls is sadly underused, as are those I mentioned earlier, and there's a disappointing lack of main characters from the selection of "fallen women" who end up around our lead.

There's certainly enough to appreciate here, especially if you're a fan of Palin and Smith. There's just not quite enough to make it fully work as either a drama or a gentle comedy, with the end result landing a bit awkwardly in between the two. It's also a shame that there doesn't seem to be any sharpness to what could have been a real exploration of morality, rehabilitation, and the role that the church tries to hold within many communities. There are a few points raised as things muddle along from the start to the finish, but nothing that really sticks with you once the end credits roll. In fact, I'd say that the best thing about the movie is how it can then lead you to read up on the extraordinary life, and strange end, of the "prostitute's padre".

Often as pleasant and harmless as the central character, The Missionary should prove slightly disappointing to those wanting something (anything) more than a nice-looking distraction to take up 90 minutes of their day.

5/10

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Theatre Of Blood (1973)

Vincent Price stars as a wronged Shakespearean actor, named Edward Kendal Sheridan Lionheart, in this comedic horror that brilliantly heaps the macabre upon the macabre with every subsequent sequence, and also allows Price to portray a number of roles from many of those classic Shakespeare plays.

It all starts with the death of a critic, a single murder that the police investigate with little idea of the motive. When other critics start to die, however, it quickly becomes clear that all of the people have something in common. They all have their own little clique, and they've all greatly upset (to say the least) an actor they thought had died some time ago. But Lionheart isn't dead, and his flair for the theatrical means that those critics are going to help him realise perhaps his greatest repertory season yet.

Directed by Douglas Hickox, Theatre Of Blood benefits enormously from the fun script by Anthony Greville-Bell and the magnificence of such a great ensemble cast. That's not to take anything away from Hickox, who shows such great judgment in the way he treats the material, leading viewers deeper and deeper into territory that becomes surprisingly unpleasant in tone while also making it all just bearable enough to amuse and horrify in equal measure.

Price is the star of the show, and oh how he shines. He gets to recite many famous lines, dress up as a variety of characters, and simply revel in the inspired lunacy of his character in a way that's infectious whenever he appears onscreen. Diana Rigg is lovely and suspicious in the role of his daughter, a woman who resents all those who she thinks drove her father to his death. And Milo O'Shea and Eric Sykes are both enjoyable enough as two of the main police officers trying to stop more brutal murders on their patch. But it's in the casting of the critics that the film gains more bonus points. Michael Hordern, Robert Morley, Arthur Lowe, Coral Browne, Jack Hawkins, Dennis Price, Harry Andrews, Robert Coote and Ian Hendry all prove to be great entertainment, portraying a bunch of smug, nasty critics who don't seem entirely undeserving of their fates. Hendry is the man who pieces everything together, and helps the police to see just what's going on, but everyone gets at least one great scene apiece.

Price considered this film a personal favourite and it's not hard to see why. He always wanted to stretch his wings a bit more, but was so solidly typecast in the prime of his career that it wasn't to be. This film allowed him to stay within the genre that had won him such a loyal army of fans, while also letting him deliver so many great speeches that he would otherwise not had the chance to perform onscreen. It's a win win situation for the star and his fans, making this a film that you won't want to miss.

9/10

This is the disc I recommend purchasing - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Theatre-Blood-Blu-ray-Vincent-Price/dp/B00IJE1QU2/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1411828432&sr=1-1&keywords=theatre+of+blood

Demons Of The Mind (1972)

Robert Hardy plays a smothering father in this bizarre, lesser Hammer film directed, with little enthusiasm or flair, by Peter Sykes. His son and daughter (Shane Briant and Gillian Hills) are kept locked up as much as possible, kept away from each other and kept in a weakened state thanks to some regular bleeding. Hardy is convinced that his children have inherited a family madness and hopes that a visiting psychiatrist (Patrick Magee) can find a cure. Meanwhile, local villagers are getting up in arms as yet another poor woman's body is found in the woods.

With a lame script by Christopher Wicking, horribly ham-fisted approach to the material, a lot of overacting and very little gore, this Hammer horror has very little in it to recommend to fans. It does have a soupçon of nudity for fans of Gillian Hills and Virginia Wetherell, and a few great utterances from the enjoyable Magee, but that's really all there is to it.

Most of the cast are completely wasted, with the notable exceptions of Kenneth J. Warren, who has fun in the role of a manservant often going above and beyond the call of duty, and the eye-rolling Magee. Hardy, Briant, Hills, Wetherell, Paul Jones, Robert Brown and even the great Michael Hordern, are all given pretty short shrift.

The ideas put forward, especially during the finale of the movie, are actually quite interesting and twisted for Hammer, but a good movie does not come from intriguing ideas alone. It may be as handsomely staged as ever, but this is one best avoided by anyone other than completists.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Ultimate-Hammer-Collection-Disc/dp/B000HN31KQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372871091&sr=8-1&keywords=hammer+box+set

The Story Of Robin Hood And His Merrie Men (1952)

The first take on the Robin Hood tale by Disney is a live action effort that makes for an enjoyable enough viewing but suffers from one major failing, it's surpassed by almost every other Robin Hood movie ever made, including the animated Disney outing.

Everyone knows the tale of Robin Hood, the details may differ but the basics remain the same in most tellings - Robin (Richard Todd takes the role here) is an accomplished bowman who becomes an outlaw after the king he is loyal to embarks on the crusades and leaves a conniving prince in charge (Hubert Gregg), he has an ongoing nemesis in the shape of the Sheriff Of Nottingham (Peter Finch) but is always helped by his band of merry men, including Little John (James Robertson Justice), Friar Tuck (James Hayter) and Will Scarlet (Anthony Forwood). He also has a bit of chemistry with Maid Marian (Joan Rice).

Enjoyable enough for what it is, this movie simply disappoints for what it isn't. It's not a swashbuckler in the style of THE great Robin Hood movie, it's not a slice of far-fetched fun in the style of the animated version, it's got no grit (the light treatment is to be expected, of course, what with this being a Disney family movie) and although it has a few great cast members it lacks the star power that we've seen in certain notable blockbuster interpretations.

The script by Lawrence Edward Watkin and the direction by Ken Annakin are both perfectly reasonable for the style of the movie. There's nothing bad here, it's just that there's nothing special either. No sense of excitement during the moments of daring, no tension, no real thrills. It's all just decidedly average.

The cast are, overall, suited to their roles. Richard Todd is likeable enough in the lead role while Peter Finch is an enjoyable weasel of a villain. James Robertson Justice, Anthony Forwood and Hubert Gregg all do well while James Hayter ends up being a bit irritating, more due to the writing of his character than any major flaw in his performance. There are also good turns from Patrick Barr, Michael Hordern, Martita Hunt, Hal Osmond and Bill Owen. But I've saved the best praise for last, the lovely Joan Rice certainly ranks up there as one of the most beautiful Maid Marians ever and her presence lifts the movie out of the doldrums and makes the love story between Marian and Robin very easy to believe in.

I guess the movie holds up as something that would easily pass the time on a rainy afternoon but it's a Robin Hood film that languishes buried beneath a pile of superior Robin Hood films.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Story-Robin-Hood-Peter-Finch/dp/B001TPGNBK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1337518111&sr=8-2

The Jokers (1967)

Before he settled into a disheartening routine of recycling his own material, playing around with celebrity chums and judging various meals, Michael Winner was a director with no small amount of wit and talent. Yes, I said it. It's largely forgotten nowadays but look back through his filmography and there are still a number of his movies that are worth seeking out. The Jokers is one of them.

The relatively slim plot sees Michael Crawford and Oliver Reed playing two brothers who enjoy nothing more than a good prank or two, the more audacious the better. Between them, they hatch the ultimate caper: they're going to steal the Crown Jewels. As long as they make it clear that they never intended to keep them for personal gain then they should be able to get away with the whole thing. Well, that's the plan.

It's a movie from the late 60s set in London so you shouldn't be surprised to find more than one or two scenes that focus on the groovy side of life and just how cool everyone is, whether they're dancing in a disinterested fashion or watching a piece of performance art (performed and viewed, it has to be said, in a slightly disinterested fashion). Because being disinterested = being cool. You dig? The characters played by Crawford and Reed are the coolest of the cool because they aren't actually interested in anything around them that doesn't serve to amuse them or be manipulated in their numerous schemes. And while I may seem to be sarcastic here, I assure you that it's only slight sarcasm. Swinging 60s London is a scene that can provide a lot of unintentional giggles but, dammit, it does still seem very cool. And Crawford and Reed ARE cool in this film, the former really embodying the kind of laid-back, carefree cad audiences should actually hate (but don't) and the latter being simply Oliver bloody Reed in, arguably, the prime of his life.

A great supporting cast features a number of faces familiar to classic movie fans and/or UK TV viewers: Harry Andrews, James Donald, Daniel Massey, Brian Wilde, Edward Fox, Michael Hordern, Peter Graves, Warren Mitchell, Frank Finlay and many more.

The script is written by two other names familiar to fans of UK TV - Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, a writing team responsible for classic shows such as "The Likely Lads" and the absolutely superb "Porridge". The story idea may have been hatched by director Winner but the two men make sure that things zip along nicely in between the key moments and that every line is in character, and usually pretty funny when juxtaposed alongside the attitudes of the characters onscreen.

Michael Winner deserves some praise. Sometimes. The Jokers may not be an absolutely unmissable classic but it holds up well. Much like The Thomas Crown Affair, it's a heist movie that takes more delight in enjoying the boredom of the bourgeoisie and how those afflicted may try to cure themselves. A fun film worth checking out.

7/10

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