Let’s be brutally honest here. Night Swim isn’t just a bad horror movie. It is already an early contender for the worst horror movie of the year (certainly when it comes to those released into cinemas). It gives me no pleasure to write those words, especially considering how much I tend to enjoy Wyatt Russell in everything he does, but it’s sadly true. I would have probably preferred to see this concept hammered into shape by some low-budget film-makers who would then be forced to market it under the name Amityville Swimming Pool.
The basic plot concerns a family who move into a new home. There’s Ray Waller (Russell), a baseball player who has had his career curtailed by a debilitating illness, Eve Waller (Kerry Condon), and two children, Izzy (Amélie Hoeferle) and Elliot (Gavin Warren). Anyway, the new home has a swimming pool, which definitely doesn’t house some evil force that can sometimes help you feel physically better while threatening to endanger the lives of your loved ones. I think you get the idea.
The feature directorial debut of Bryce McGuire, adapting the short co-written with Rod Blackhurst, this is a laughable horror movie so consistently weak that even the jump scares fail to get a reaction. It’s a silly premise, but good entertainment has been made from lesser material.
Russell, Condon, Hoeferle, and Warren are certainly not to blame, even if Russell has to spend a couple of scenes being snarly and obviously affected by the watery evil, but they are saddled with a poor script that simply doesn’t give them enough development, or all that much to do, in between the infrequent attempts to (unsuccessfully) deliver scares.
On the plus side, this is easy to forget as soon as the end credits begin. It is also easy to review, mainly because there aren’t any elements I had to single out for praise. I am sure many people behind the scenes were trying their best, but the end result, the film that is shown onscreen, is absolutely dire. The audio may be fine, and the camerawork is okay, but the actual beats of the plot are all either laughably bad or painfully derivative, and if you care about how things turn out in the very final scenes then you have obviously appreciated something that I didn’t.
Don’t waste your time. Certainly don’t waste your money. McGuire really needs to do much better with his next feature, although I am not holding out much hope.
3/10
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Sounds like one of the lame Amityville sequels only instead of a house or lamp or mirror or clock or dollhouse, it's the pool that will kill you.
ReplyDeleteI have had more fun with some of those lame Amityville sequels. Although there's a lot of pain there too.
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