Prime Time: Wildcat (2025)

I have tended to enjoy Kate Beckinsale in many of her movie choices, no matter how dubious they have been. Wildcat feels like a low point though. It's a horrible slice of mockney nonsense so dire that it will make you wish you could go back in time and enjoy the many other Guy Ritchie imitators that you once thought were scraping the bottom of the lock, stock, and two smoking barrels.

Beckinsale plays Ada, a woman who has to come up with a plan to pay off debts accrued by her problematic brother, Edward (Rasmus Hardiker). No worries though, because Ada knows just what to do, and she'll pit a couple of criminal giants against one another. Those criminal giants are Mrs. Christina Vine and Frasier Mahoney, played by Alice Krige and Charles Dance, respectively. 

I almost gave up on writing that all-too-brief plot summary. The very thought of this film has me wanting to put my head through my laptop screen. It's THAT bad. Writer Dominic Burns takes every cliché in the tough geezer/audacious robbery playbook and mixes them all together without an ounce of wit or intelligence. He's obviously relying on his cast, but they seem unable to figure out exactly where they should pitch their performances.

Director James Nunn has some decent stuff in his filmography, and his next film, Hungry, is one that I am hoping will be a bit of fun. This has to be a strong contender for the worst thing that he's helmed, and I am saying that with the knowledge that he also directed The Marine 5: Battleground and The Marine 6: Close Quarters. I can see where this could have been turned into something moderately amusing and fun, but almost everything is ruined by the laziness and ineptitude of the writing and performances.

Beckinsale is a particular liability, considering that the film seems to have been crafted to be carried along by her name. She never feels like a believable character, and actually seems to be tired of the whole thing by the time the first scene plays out. I don't know why Krige and Dance agreed to be in this, and they're so far removed from doing what they're capable of that I wish they'd been able to refuse whatever pay they were offered for this. Lewis Tan tries to do well in his main supporting role, and is believably smitten with Beckinsale's character, but he's the only one who seems to be making any effort. Hardiker does nothing with a nothing role, and I'm going to do everyone else a favour by simply not mentioning them.

I worried when this ended, partly about the damage I had inflicted upon my own psyche and partly about the fact that people involved in the making of this may have thought they were working on something good. If they thought they were doing good work then they should be kept away from most future features. If they knew they were making trash then . . . they should be kept away from most future features.

2/10

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Netflix And Chill: Ladies First (2026)

If Ladies First had been made in the 1980s then it might seem like something fun and harmless. It could make use of some comedy stars to have some fun with the deep-rooted problems in a patriarchal society that would seem ripe for an overhaul. As a film released in 2026, however, it's just a depressing reminder of how little progress has been made throughout modern history. And it doesn't have the right lead actor needed to make it an amusing enough distraction.

Sacha Baron Cohen plays a male chauvinist pig named Damien Sachs. Working for a company that needs some better optics, he promotes the talented Alex Fox (Rosamund Pike), but doesn't really want to take note of her good ideas. He doesn't really want her input on anything at all, because he and his colleagues are used to completely ignoring women unless they're trying to sleep with them. That becomes a big problem when Damien hits his head and wakes up in a world where the roles are reversed. Women are in charge, and he will be trapped there until he can figure out a way to get into a top management position.

I actually wondered why I didn't have more fun with this, but writing out that plot summary has clarified things for me. This is a Netflix film based on another Netflix film, "Je Ne Suis Pas Un Homme Facile", which may not seem like a great idea, but there's just about enough talent behind and in front of the camera to make it work. If only anyone involved actually made some effort.

Director Thea Sharrock doesn't do much to liven things up, settling for a reliance on numerous production design gags (various ads using males in very little clothing, Burger Queen, etc.), and writers Natalie Krinsky, Cinco Paul, and Katie Silberman seem so busy having fun with the role reversal concept that they forget to pack in more gags or any storyline that viewers may actually care about. Everything about this, from the obviousness of the jokes to the character names (male character names Sachs, female is Fox, and even a character our lead needs to pursue as he tries to get promotion is named Chase), is lazy.

There are better performances from most of the other players, but Cohen cannot make his main character work, which is a big negative. He can be cocky and rude, believably sexist for most of the runtime, but there's nothing tempering that, either because of the writing or because Cohen cannot manage to add a touch of honey to his sharpness. Pike is much better, but even she is unable to do anything truly great with what she's given. Fiona Shaw presents a riff on a character that she's done a number of times before (she's very good at being the polite Brit who also happens to be struggling to contain a burning passion), Richard E. Grant is amusing enough as he portrays "Pigeon Man", and there are decidedly okay turns from Emily Mortimer, Tom Davis, Charles Dance, Bill Paterson, and Kathryn Hunter, to namecheck the main faces I recognised.

I had heard bad things about this before I pressed play, but I figured that it was just being dismissed by people who weren't in the mood for some silliness. I was wrong. Silly isn't bad. Silly and lazy and unfunny is bad. Did I smirk a couple of times? Yes. Did I laugh enough times to be able to rate this as a comedy? Not even close.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: Frankenstein (2025)

Everyone knows that writer-director Guillermo del Toro wanted to make Frankenstein for many years. It was already such a thematic through-line in so many of his movies (the perceived monsters overshadowed by actual monstrous humans) that maybe it was assumed that he'd managed to get it out of his system, but no. So it's good for us that people gave him over $100M to finally deliver his vision of the classic text. Maybe we will yet get his version of At The Mountains Of Madness.

Bookmarked by scenes set in the Arctic, this gives us Victor's Tale in the first half and then The Creature's Tale in the second, both announced by title cards. Young Victor may be played by Christian Convery, but things really get going when we meet the adult Victor (Oscar Isaac), a man consumed by the idea of conquering death, much to the dismay of many, including his own brother, William (Felix Kammerer). William and Victor aren't exactly close, but William is still excited to have his brother meet his fiancée, Lady Elizabeth Harlander (Mia Goth). This proves to be quite the fateful encounter, almost as fateful as Victor's encounter with Elizabeth's uncle, Henrich Harlander (Christoph Waltz), a wealthy man who wants to fund Victor's experiments. Then it's all body parts and lightning storms until you can cry out "it's alive, it's alive" and we get the creation of a creature (Jacob Elordi). Victor isn't actually prepared for his role as "new father" though, which makes things very difficult, to say the least.

With lovely cinematography from Dan Laustsen, a fine score from Alexandre Desplat, and great use of some well-dressed locations (it's always nice to see even a heavily-disguised Edinburgh onscreen), it's no surprise that Frankenstein is a feast for viewers. It may be a slightly overdone feast, considering the hefty 150-minute runtime and the moments that have a bit too much CGI in the mix, but it's a feast nonetheless. The biggest problem would seem to be that Del Toro is too close to the whole thing, and has been allowed to indulge himself with every decision, for better or worse. This is most obvious during the many times he seems to be pointing at a massive hand-painted sign that says "It's Victor who is the real monster, get it?", as if we haven't been reminding ourselves, and others, of this for many many years now.

Isaac is decent in the role of Victor, enjoyably single-minded and callous, and I am sure the film was helped to find some extra viewers by the moments that have him working feverishly on his creation without any care for the state of his clothing. Goth is a wonderful Elizabeth, and it was canny casting to also have her playing another pivotal role in the earlier scenes of the film. Elordi is the highlight though, giving an interpretation of the creature that shows the full range of his life, from the new-born confusion to his education, from his vulnerability to his rage. Helped by an interesting, if not altogether successful, make up job, Elordi feels as if he's giving his all to portray a definitive take on the creature that manages to feel both very traditional and quite modern. Waltz is used well, Kammerer less so, and there are good scenes for the likes of Lars Mikkelsen, David Bradley, and Charles Dance in supporting roles.

People seem to want to give us the "definitive" Frankenstein every few decades, but it hasn't really happened yet. This is certainly close though. Some scenes use too much digital trickery (let's not mention the imperfect wolves in one key sequence), and Del Toro has a strange way of turning the creature into something like a superhero at times (he's very Incredible Hulk throughout, which I'm sure we've all seen as a modern blend of Frankenstein/Jekyll & Hyde over the years anyway), but the overall feeling is one of care and quality. You know that you're in the hands of someone who really wants this to deliver on all of his promises, even if he unsubtly hammers home one or two of the key messages of the tale. Although, for all of Del Toro's good intentions, ending his own adaptation of Mary Shelley's touchstone text with a quote from Lord Byron is a major mis-step that may leave viewers slightly soured as the end credits roll.

This is very good. And there are some pleasantly surprising bursts of gore and real horror too. It's not great though, perhaps due to the fact that Del Toro put himself under pressure to cram in everything he'd ever envisioned for the project. He has, somewhat ironically, given birth to something that he explored and experimented on for many years. It's not a monstrosity, but I don't think it will ever be as beloved as some of his other "children". 

7/10

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The First Omen (2024)

When I first heard about them making a prequel to The Omen I was as sceptical as most people. While I love the original trio of main films, and the first is the absolute highlight, there have been unsuccessful attempts to move beyond that, with the TV movie that was the fourth film in the series and a competent, but comparatively weak, remake. Sometimes it is best to just let things be. 

But then I started to hear some good things about it. Horror fans seemed to be pleased, and even fans of The Omen claimed that this was a surprisingly decent prequel that put all of the pieces in place to lead nicely into the events of that landmark 1976 horror. I strongly disagree with those people.

Nell Tiger Free is Margaret, a young American who ends up in Rome to serve alongside other nuns helping to support young mothers, and expectant mothers. There’s something afoot though, something that starts to affect the mental state of Margaret. Her suspicions about things are confirmed when she is approached by Father Brennan (Ralph Ineson), a man on a quest to get proof of grave misdeeds committed in the name of the church.

The feature debut of director Arkasha Stevenson, who also worked on the screenplay with Tim Smith and Keith Thomas, this is a film that does itself no favours by calling to mind a number of much better features. It obviously cannot avoid the fact that viewers will think of The Omen, but inserting a sequence that references an iconic moment from Possession is a sign of hugely misplaced confidence, at best. Fair play to the lead actress for giving it a go, but few people could deliver anything that compares favourably to that amazing turn from Isabelle Adjani.

While Stevenson doesn’t do that bad a job in the director’s chair, especially with the lighting levels and the overall look and feel of 1970s Rome shown onscreen, she is sorely let down by the screenplay. The best moments are the ones that try to put a twist on classic deaths from the series, but the rest of the film is just a tiresome and overcooked descent into paranoia and potential madness, with a couple of key scenes that should have horror movie fans thinking “wait a minute, why are they sometimes trying to link to the original movie while changing or removing others details that connect to iconic moments?” 

Free is decent in the lead role, although she fails to add any real depth or warmth to a character who is there to be nervous and frail for most of the runtime. Ineson is great, albeit undermined by a crucial change to his character that is never addressed, and therefore never integrated well into the messy “pick ‘n’ mix” continuity. Bill Nighy has fun in a main supporting role, Sônia Braga likewise, and there is solid work from Maria Caballero, playing the only other character I was actually interested in.

I kept forgetting to write this full review, having seen the film some time ago, but was reminded to get it done when I mentioned my dislike for this film during my review of Tarot. That film is a tame teen horror that won’t please many genre fans, but actually plays out well enough, for the most part, in the way it is intended. The First Omen doesn’t actually work how it should, with the exception of moments that remind you of the superior source material. It is decent, on a technical level, but it is never truly effective, never feels worthy of the IP it is warping, and sorely lacks any real imagination and creativity. So I stand by my negative opinion of it, although I suspect it will work much better for those who haven’t watched The Omen as many times as I have. 

Oh, and Immaculate is a much better wander through similar territory.

4/10

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The King's Man (2021)

I am very well aware that I am in the minority for the fact that I enjoyed Kingsman: The Golden Circle a bit more than Kingsman: The Secret Service. But I think I was pretty much in agreement with everyone else when I was seriously underwhelmed by the trailer for The King's Man, a prequel to the other movies that didn't have any of the charismatic leads we'd already enjoyed accompanying on two adventures. It did still have Matthew Vaughn in the director's chair though, and roles for Ralph Fiennes, Djimon Hounsou, Gemma Arterton, Rhys Ifans, Charles Dance, and Matthew Goode, so maybe it would be alright.

It wasn't.

Set during the first half of the 20th century, The King's Man shows events that lead up to the creation of a new kind of British agent. A soldier that can help win wars without all of the bloodshed and death of a full war. In theory. Fiennes plays Orlando Oxford, a man who wants to help the world avoid further conflict while he also keeps his son (Conrad, played by Harris Dickinson) as safe as possible. This proves very difficult. There's a shadowy super-villain moving pawns into place, including a certain individual named Rasputin (Rhys Ifans), and the stormclouds of war start to gather apace.

Co-written by Vaughn and Karl Gajdusek, based once again on the comic books by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons, The King's Man feels like a step back in a film series that should have continued to stride onwards and upwards. What would you rather see, Ralph Fiennes being as good as ever while also being allowed to kick ass, or Eggsy on another ridiculous plot that inevitably leads him into space a la Moonraker? I know which I would prefer.

The cast is too much of a mixed bag to really help. Fiennes plays his part well, but also brings to mind his steely cool and gentlemanly approach to his starring role in The Avengers (which I don’t think anyone really wants brought to mind). Ifans is a real highlight, attacking his larger-than-life character with relish. Artery on and Hounsou are both good, but sadly underused, as is Dance, and the younger cast members are a bit too bland, whether it’s Goode being completely unsubtle or Dickinson being a bit of a wet blanket. I didn’t even mind the dodgy accent from Aaron Taylor-Johnson, considering it was a very small role, because he was a slightly more interesting character than the young man being played by Dickinson.

There are a couple of set-pieces here that are moderately enjoyable, with the best being an lengthy fight with the famously-difficult-to-kill Rasputin, but this is often as disappointing and weak as the trailer implied. The action is rarely impressive, the tone veers all over the place, and the sense of something cool and fun is completely lost.

4/10

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Mubi Monday: Swimming Pool (2003)

Written and directed by François Ozon, working with writer Emmanuèle Bernheim and translator Sionann O'Neill, Swimming Pool is a sun-soaked psychosexual drama that turns into more of a standard thriller in the third act, anchored by two fantastic lead performances.

Charlotte Rampling is Sarah Morton, a writer who is given the use of her publisher's vacation home in Southern France. She writes detective thrillers, usually, and needs complete peace and quiet for her working process. It turns out, however, that her publisher (who is played by Charles Dance) has forgotten that his daughter (Julie, played by Ludivine Sagnier) is also due to spend some time at the house. Things soon become tense as Sarah and Julie clash, the former trying to get into the right headspace for her writing while the latter keeps herself busy with a series of one-night stands.

Moving between English and French, Swimming Pool is a fascinating character study of two people who are very comfortable in the personas that they choose to reveal to one another, yet completely out of their comfort zone when needing some real support. Both also have an arrogance about them, but for different reasons. Rampling has her assumed position of superiority simply by being older, and a polite Brit, while Sagnier has youth and a lack of care for any consequences, for most of the runtime anyway.

Rampling is excellent in the role of Sarah, as is Sagnier with her embodiment of Julie. Both leads skirt perilously close to their characters being completely unsympathetic, yet they manage to keep you watching as things develop between them into what could be a friendship, if no other agendas cause it to become unbalanced. Jean-Marie Lamour is Franck, a man who ends up inadvertently caught between the two women for an evening, and he also does a great job. Dance is only really in the movie for the start and end, bookending things with moments that show a big difference in the dynamic between himself and Rampling's character.

Although it takes a while to find its feet, Swimming Pool turns into something riveting and thought-provoking, especially when you get to a final scene that leaves things enjoyably ambiguous. It's about tapping in to your innermost desires and impulses as you try to access your creative side, it's about allowing yourself the freedom to just enjoy the company of others (good conversation, some dancing, a healthy helping of sex). It's even about just becoming someone else for the duration of your holiday in a foreign country, letting the mix of hot sunshine and cool water help you to view yourself as someone a bit steamier than usual.

Fans of Ozon will know that so many of his movies revolve around the idea of identity, what people can discover about others, what they can discover about themselves, and Swimming Pool is in line with his preferred thematic exploration. There may be a number of characters here, but it's all about Sarah discovering some other parts of Sarah.

7/10

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Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019)

Oh boy, I was pumped for the latest big-screen outing for Godzilla. I fully bought into the hype. The trailer worked for me, advance word was that it made up for the lack of action in the previous American Godzilla movie, and knowing the other monsters were going to be getting some screentime had me practically salivating.

Reviews weren't always kind, however, when they started to appear. But there seemed to be a clear divide. Those who were happy with the monster fights, and those who seemed to miss the point and think that the failings elsewhere (poor script, thin characterisations) would bother Godzilla fans who went along to see a titanic smackdown.

I have to say that I am in the camp of those who seem to have missed the point, despite believing that I really do GET the point. I don't think a blockbuster of this type needs to have such poor writing or characterisation in place but I can overlook it if the action is pleasing enough. That wasn't the case here, for reasons I will delve into shortly.

The basic plot concerns a group of people who are using a machine to wake up the titans (giant monsters that are now known to the world, and being debated by governments). They have a plan to bring balance back to the planet. That plan goes out the window when King Ghidorah sets itself up as the apex predator and leader of the titans. This means that the only hope us puny humans have is Godzilla. If he can be put in the right place at the right time, and if he wants to help. Although other giant monsters are shown, this is a battle between Godzilla and King Ghidorah, with some nice set-pieces involving Rodan and Mothra, both separately and together. Which is enough to keep many fans very happy, especially with the quality of CGI on display.

Directed by Michael Dougherty, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Zach Shields, what we have here is a bloated disaster movie in the shape of a kaiju flick, and you can see the boxes marked off that particular checklist if you look out for them. The big opener and then standard scenes of character establishment, the one person who rallied against a certain invention that is now the cause of all their problems (in this case it's a way to kind of communicate with the titans), the tough decisions made about who can be helped and who must be left to die, and the moments of noble sacrifice. Although I almost daren't say his name in relation to another incarnation of Big G on film, this is almost more like a Roland Emmerich movie in terms of the structure and plotting. I do like Dougherty. I just think he got carried away here with the set-pieces and the opportunity to create visions bigger than anything he'd previously been able to get close to.

The human cast are a mixed bag. I really like Kyle Chandler, who plays the lead, a man personally invested in fixing the situation as he attempts to locate his ex-wife (Vera Farmiga) and his daughter (Millie Bobby Brown), both of whom are currently being dragged around the planet by the sorta-villain played by Charles Dance. Chandler ends up in a group that includes Sally Hawkins and Ken Watanabe, reprising their roles from the 2014 movie, Zhang Ziyi, Bradley Whitford, Aisha Hinds, and Thomas Middleditch. David Strathairn, CCH Pounder, Joe Morton, and O'Shea Jackson Jr also help to fill out the supporting cast, some for what seems like mere seconds of screentime.

What hurts everyone is the script, which just gets worse and worse as the film plays out. Character motivations seem murky, at best, any moments that are supposed to feel powerful and moving are exactly the opposite, and it's all weak filler in between the action beats.

And I understand that many others have been pleased by those action beats. They have been able to overlook the obvious failings elsewhere because, to them, this delivers the goods. It throws major devastation around onscreen as if it's making a statement in direct response to the Gareth Edwards movie (which I like more nowadays, the more I think about it). I just don't know how other people weren't bothered by sore eyes and headaches as I was. The action here is shot by people who just graduated from the Michael Bay School Of Making Every Frame Busy And Letting An Epileptic Octopus Be In Charge Of The Editing (that's a real school, honest). I have yet to be beaten into submission by any film that I have opted to see in the cinema, but I came perilously close to walking out of this one after being so pained by the first big fight between Godzilla and King Ghidorah. Overdo everything, make sure to add cloud and rain and debris

Look, I'm not completely oblivious to the charms of this movie. There are quite a few shots throughout that are stunning, in terms of scale and shot composition (and most of the scenes with Mothra are beautiful). And the idea of these giant creatures fighting is great, obviously. I'll also admit that the plotting works when it comes to the actual behaviours of the monsters. And every moment featuring Rodan is fantastic. There's also a superb score by Bear McCreary. But none of these things really make up for the fact that so much of the film is such a chaotic mess that it can cause actual pain.

And none of this negative take on the film has stopped me from pre-ordering it to check out again on a smaller screen (where I might end up actually enjoying it slightly more, being able to enjoy the scale and effects without feeling over-stimulated by the busy visuals and noise).

4/10
Upgraded to 5/10 as I really cannot have it at the same lowly rating as the Emmerich movie.

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Prime Time: Ali G Indahouse (2002)

Maybe it's the passing of time mellowing my attitude to what I once viewed as crimes against cinema. Maybe it's because I have actually now seen more movies that ARE crimes against cinema (including at least two feature films for British comedy creations that were nowhere near as much fun as Ali G). Whatever the reason, I decided to rewatch Ali G Indahouse this week for the first time in over a decade, expecting to put myself through some pain, and I did not hate it.

The plot sees a number of ridiculous coincidences leading to Ali G (Sacha Baron Cohen) becoming an elected MP. For everything he says and does that could be disastrous, or at least a major social faux pas, he somehow goes up in the estimation of Joe Public. But Ali doesn't realise that he is being used as a pawn by a scheming politician (Charles Dance) who wants to oust and replace the Prime Minister (Michael Gambon).

The history of small-screen British comedy being adapted into feature films is a troubled one. For every success you can name at least half a dozen failures (I'm not going to name them here, some people may become curious and seek them out, which will make me feel guilty for their temporary madness). Ali G Indahouse at least manages, thanks to the script by Cohen and Dan Mazer, to give fans of the character a lot of what they will enjoy. His constant attempts to be cool hide a very obvious lack of cool, but his own lack of self-awareness almost manages to make him still seem . . . cool, when he's not being a complete moron.

Director Mark Mylod may have a filmography overflowing with TV work but he does a decent enough job here, especially as he obviously has to work within the constraints of the silly plot. The fake start is a bit annoying, perhaps more so because we've now seen the big cinematic opening segue into something smaller and more intimate in many other TV-to-feature openings, but it's decently paced, energised by a very enjoyable soundtrack (equal parts genuinely good music and dollops of cheese), and helped by the fact that luminaries such as Dance and Gambon are very willing to go along with even the more juvenile gags.

And that's the biggest problem here. I laughed quite a few times, to my own surprise, but none of the scenes worked that were supposed to provide the biggest guffaws (Ali G handcuffed to some railings that are being cleaned by a blind man, the moment our main character meets the Queen, naughtiness in the residence of the PM that is heard by the guests while the PM is in a meeting with a guest, and more). Yet there were enough smaller chuckles, often just single lines of dialogue, that kept me amused enough throughout.

Cohen doesn't act, he creates characters that he completely embodies with ease. So, despite the varying quality of the gags here, he's consistently excellent in the role. People who forget that Martin Freeman is in this should give it a rewatch to remind themselves that . . . Martin Freeman is in this. He's a friend to Ali G, as is Tony Way, and is arguably even more ridiculous and desperate than our lead. Dance and Gambon suffer their indignities with aplomb, Kellie Bright is good as the famous Julie, referred to at almost every opportunity by Ali G as "me Julie", and Rhona Mitra has a small role as an attractive temptress helping Dance to reach his end goal.

If you don't like the character of Ali G then you're not going to like this film. If you do like the character of Ali G then you still may not like this film. It's not ever going to be essential viewing, or anyone's favourite comedy, but it's not the travesty that some might lead you to believe, especially compared to some British comedies that we've been subjected to in the past few years.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can pick it up here.

Sci-Fi September: Space Truckers (1996)

Ahem, any fans of Stuart Gordon may also like to check out this lengthy interview HERE.

From the wonderfully demented mind of Stuart Gordon comes this wonderfully demented sci-fi film, boosted by a great cast and a few fun ideas that help to overcome the relatively low budget and occasional-not-so-special effects. The emphasis here is on entertainment rather than any final polishing, and that's just fine with me.

Dennis Hopper plays John Canyon, a space trucker with a fairly reliable, albeit slow, rig. He's a bit behind schedule when he drops off a load of square pigs (for your square meals) and ends up arguing over his fee due to him from company man Keller (George Wendt). One fight later, John ends up having to get away in a hurry. He's joined by the lovely Cindy (Debi Mazar) and a lad who has just passed his test for the trucking life, Mike Pucci (Stephen Dorff). He also has a new cargo, which is supposed to be a whole load of sex dolls . . . . . . . . . . but that's highly doubtful, considering the built-in security protecting it. And did I mention that Charles Dance plays a semi-cyborg psychopath?

Written by Ted Mann, adapting a story that he and director Gordon came up with, Space Truckers is a loving mix of old sci-fi romps - the kind of stuff with bright colours and killer robots - and the blue collar approach to a life spent in space that came along in the 1970s (most notably, I guess, in Alien).

Hopper is great in the lead role, grumpy and set in his ways but not without the sense to see what's right under his nose at times, while Dorff is enjoyable wide-eyed and innocent, and Mazar is tough and cute. Dance is a semi-cyborg psychopath, which I may have already mentioned, and I'll be damned if I didn't love seeing every minute of his over the top performance. Other names in the cast include Sandra Dickinson, Vernon Wells, and Mr. Wendt. Everyone seems to be having a blast, which transfers to the audience.

Gordon directs with his usual steady hand. I'm a fan of the man, having seen how he can make the most of every dollar on every movie that he makes, and this is even more interesting to watch when placed in amongst his filmography. In a way, it seems far removed from most of his other movies (although he has, of course, done relatively straight sci-fi with Fortress and Robot Jox), but it's also absolutely in line with the sensibilities shown in almost everything that he's done. There are some dark moments, there's plenty of humour, and Barbara Crampton graces the film with her lovely presence, in a brief cameo role. There are deadly robo-aliens and other trappings of the genre, of course, but it's almost impressive to see just how far Gordon can shape the material to his own ends.

I'm not sure if others will enjoy this movie as much as I did, but I hope that some people at least give it a viewing. It's certainly not dull, even if you only decide to watch it for that Charles Dance performance.

7/10

Price-wise, Region 2 is the way to go - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Space-Truckers-DVD-Dennis-Hopper/dp/B00030ERYC/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1409730107&sr=1-1&keywords=space+truckers

Last Action Hero (1993)

Not really a big success on initial release, Last Action Hero is one of those movies that I am glad to see get a bit of a second wind on shiny disc form. It always had fans, but I think that fanbase has grown steadily over the last decade and the film deserves it.

The film is, essentially, a cross between The Purple Rose Of Cairo and, well, any blockbuster action movie of the '80s and '90s. A young boy named Danny (Austin O'Brien) is given a magic ticket by his projectionist pal (Robert Prosky) that was apparently passed down years ago by one Harry Houdini. Danny spends as much time as possible in the cinema watching his movie idol, Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and this night is very special because his projectionist pal is allowing him to see a sneak preview screening of Jack Slater IV, hence the passing on of the magic ticket. Although not expecting the cinema ticket to do anything that's REALLY magical, Danny finds that he should never rule out the impossible when he finds himself transported to the world inside the movie. He has a lot of fun trying to explain to Jack Slater what is really going on (and Slater doesn't appreciate being told that he's a fictional character being played by a man with a name that he can't pronounce) while checking off all of the action genre cliches and also providing the police with some vital information thanks to the scenes he saw at the beginning of the movie. This annoys Benedict, a dangerous hitman played by Charles Dance, no end . . . . . . . . . . until Benedict starts to piece together the implausible scenario, and then gets the ticket for himself. The real world isn't ready for a collection of cinematic villains, but Benedict doesn't care. He plans to use the ticket to free the likes of Dracula, some zombies and even King Kong. First of all, however, he helps Ripper (Tom Noonan) escape. Ripper was the villain who caused the most pain for Jack Slater, and now he's encouraged to get his revenge by killing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is this making sense?

Superb entertainment from start to finish, Last Action Hero is also consistently clever and so meta that it often looks like a serpentine creation in danger of eating its own tail. It was deemed by many back in 1993 as a smug, overblown action comedy that was trying to have its cake and eat it while those involved shouldn't have dared to bite the hand that had fed them over the years. Admittedly, it is a bit overblown in places, and overlong at just over two hours, but I can't think of a better time for this movie to have been made than when Arnie was at the height of his A-list action star status and director John McTiernan was known best as the man behind Die Hard and Predator (as opposed to the man who also gave us the Rollerball remake). Shane Black, who co-wrote the screenplay with David Arnott, would actually refine things slightly with his directorial debut, the superior Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but this particular movie is a mix of big names, studio excess, a multitude of pop culture references and a foundation of real intelligence.

After a standard action movie opener, with tongue firmly in cheek, the film is one of two halves. In the first half, Danny enters the movie world and can spot the genre conventions, stereotypes and general Hollywood illusions, using it all to his advantage and not ever feeling TOO worried as he helps out Jack. In the second half, the movie characters enter the real world, OUR world, and this provides a bit more danger while also keeping the comedy running strong as unwitting characters take their time to find out that the movie rules no longer apply.

The main cast members all have a great time. Austin O'Brien is stuck playing a character who is a bit too cocky at times, but Arnie is getting to do what Arnie does best (on top of that, he also plays himself in a few scenes alongside his real wife of the time, Maria Shriver) while Charles Dance and Tom Noonan bring their effortless brilliance along to portray two very different types of villains. Robert Prosky is as wonderful as always in the role of the kindly projectionist, Mercedes Ruehl is good as Danny's worried mother and Bridgette Wilson shines in the relatively small role of Jack Slater's daughter. Elsewhere, Frank McRae is very funny as the constantly shouting Lieutenant Dekker, Anthony Quinn is a mobster, F. Murray Abraham is a policeman and Ian McKellen is Death. Yes, Death . . . . . . . from The Seventh Seal. Throw in cameos, however brief, from the likes of Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Chevy Chase, Jean Claude Van Damme, Joan Plowright, Tina Turner, Bobbie Brown, Angie Everhart, James Belushi and many more and you have the action genre movie equivalent of The Player. Which is no bad thing.

Working on two levels, because let us not forget that McTiernan IS a master action movie director and Schwarzenegger IS an action movie STAR, Last Action Hero does get to have its cake and eat it. Fans of standard action movies will find enough here to keep them amused, if they somehow don't get or appreciate the humour, while fans of the satirical premise will have a field day keeping up with the cliches and references. You can find subtlety and grace elsewhere, this is the only place to see Arnie giving a unique interpretation of Hamlet. Need I say more?

8/10

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Underworld: Awakening (2012)

First of all, my overview of the preceding Underworld movies can be found here.

At the start of Underworld: Awakening the audience is told by Selene (Kate Beckinsale) about "the purge". Yes, humans finally discovered that there really were vampires and werewolves (aka lycans) and set about eradicating them. After telling the audience this information, Selene is then taken out of action and frozen. She ends up in a lab for many years. But the movie is called Underworld: Awakening so you may be able to guess that Selene doesn't stay frozen in the lab for the entire movie and when she gets out there are a few revelations.

If you enjoyed the first two Underworld movies then I can't think of any reason why you would dislike this one. It's more of the same and it's all done very well. Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein share the directing duties and Len Wiseman (director of those first two movies) is one of the four people who helped to create the screenplay, which brings in a few new ideas and easily mixes them in with the familiar elements and style that fans of the movies have come to expect.

Beckinsale is the star of the show, once again all black leather and cat-like agility (is it getting hot in here or is it just me?) but there's a good supporting cast of players with the likes of Michael Ealy, Theo James, Kris Holden-Ried and Sandrine Holt doing a decent job. India Eisley is a very good young actress getting to play a very fun character and I was surprised to see Wes Bentley put in an uncredited cameo appearance. The most fun, however, comes from watching Stephen Rea and Charles Dance playing their parts. The two great actors appear to have a lot of fun while they play two very different characters.

The special effects are almost as good as they were in the second movie (which remains my favourite of the series so far) though there are definitely times when the CGI isn't quite up to the task, such as an otherwise enjoyable chase sequence involving Beckinsale, Eisley and Theo James trying to drive away from relentless lycans.

Overall, however, this is a bloody good time. The action feels as if it is non-stop, the visuals are cool, there is a nice helping of gore and bloodshed and the development of the characters this time around takes one or two interesting turns. Okay, it also feels very lightweight (thanks to the streamlined storyline and the runtime clocking in at about 85 minutes, despite the IMDb listing putting it at 88 mins, including the opening recap for newcomers) but it's blockbuster fun and that's all it wants to be. Mission accomplished.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Underworld-Awakening-Blu-ray-3D/dp/B0064YOWCI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1351073682&sr=8-2