Netflix And Chill: Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)

I reviewed Beverly Hills Cop quite a few years ago now. I rewatched Beverly Hills Cop II a few times, but kept forgetting to do anything more than a capsule review for it. But the time was right to finally revisit the undercooked Beverly Hills Cop III, a film that I hadn't been brave enough to revisit since it first hit the home rental market back in the mid-'90s.

The plot is quite simple. Eddie Murphy is back in the role of Axel Foley. The death of Foley’s boss leads him to investigate a crime ring that he believes is operating out of a Los Angeles amusement park. He reunites with Rosewood (Judge Reinhold), and quickly gets himself into a whole heap of trouble while trying to gather evidence that will lead to the prosecution of a bad guy that he KNOWS is the bad guy (Timothy Carhart).

This should have been another great entry in a series that was already two for two. Heroes & villains confronting one another against the backdrop of various  amusement park rides. Writer Steven E. de Souza is someone who has delivered some great action movies, but he’s also written some that were not so great. This falls into the latter category. The action isn’t good enough, the comedy not funny enough, which just leaves the whole thing as another fairly limp star vehicle for Murphy at a time when every Murphy film inevitably felt like that.

Putting John Landis in the director’s chair just have seemed like a very good idea, considering his past glories with Murphy in a leading role, but he ultimately doesn’t have a handle on the tone and what is truly needed for the series. There are the expected cameos you expect from a Landis movie, but not enough care is given to the plot (and let’s not pretend that Foley does any decent detective work here).

Murphy is still good enough in this role to make it watchable, and Reinhold is fun (although he doesn’t get any of the interplay he previously had with John Ashton’s character, notably absent here and sorely missed). Hector Elizondo is okay, but not really good enough as a replacement for Ashton’s character, and Stephen McHattie gets to come along every once in a while to lay down the law as an angry Fed. Carhart is a bit of a weak villain, commanding a small army of bland henchmen, John Saxon is someone you know must be involved somehow (due to being John Saxon), and Theresa Randle tries her best in a role that makes her a potential love interest/damsel in distress. Oh, and it’s fun to see Bronson Pinchot return for a scene or two, having moved from the world of art to the world of heavy-duty self defence.

The cast help make this more fun than it otherwise would be. It’s a bad film, but it’s a bad film that remains watchable, for the most part, if you don’t mind spending time with a likable main character on one of his lesser adventures. And it would have been even better if it had felt more in line with the previous two movies.

5/10

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Prime Time: Nightmare Beach (1989)

Nightmare Beach starts with an execution, the execution of a biker named Diablo. He claims to have been set up, and also vows revenge. Skipping forward a year, it's Spring Break time in Miami. Two friends (Nicolas de Toth and Rawley Valverde) join in with the drinking and partying, but soon find their fun being spoiled by a number of inconvenient deaths. Yes, a mysterious biker is picking off a number of revellers, often killing them with a fatal dose of electicity. It's eventually up to Skip (De Toth) and a young woman named Gail (Sarah Buxton) to uncover the identity of the biker, and try to put an end to his killing spree.

Released in 1989, Nightmare Beach feels every bit like a film made much earlier in that decade. It has a bit more of a sheen to it, perhaps, but the pacing and characterisations already feel quite archaic (especially most of the moments involving Valverde, the kind of guy who enjoys telling a woman that smiling more would make her much prettier). Perhaps that didn't seem so obvious back when it was released, and there are a number of films from the end of the decade, and even the start of the '90s, that feel almost designed as quintessential slices of '80s cheese. It makes the film impossible to take seriously now, however, but also helps to make it a hugely entertaining experience.

With direction credited to Umberto Lenzi, although it seems to have actually been helmed by writer Harry Kirkpatrick (AKA James Justice), with Lenzi servind in an advisory capacity, this is a real bag of mixed treats. People looking for a quality classic horror can skip it just now and look for something else, but those of us in the mood for entertaining trash? This is a perfect pick.

De Toth, Valverde, and Buxton are a mixed trio of central performers. None are really memorable, but they're fine. Genre fans will have more fun with the "old guard" onscreen here. You have a small role for Michael Parks, and fun turns from Lance LeGault, as a reverend, and John Saxon, playing a tough cop who may or may not have something to hide. Luis Valderrama is a biker spoiling for a fight, and Yamilet Hidalgo makes quite an impression as his fiery girlfriend.

Despite the attempted mystery element, it's hard to care about the identity of the biker. What matters here are the death scenes, all of them surprisingly impressive and somehow managing to feel different from one another while often managing to use the same method of murder. The pacing is perfect, with deaths interspersed by moments of humour and gratuitous sequences like a wet t-shirt competition (hey, it's Spring Break), and there are enough enjoyable random diversions (e.g. the plot strand with the thief that plays out and then just... ends) that will soon lead you to realise that this is not a film concerned with a cohesive narrative that makes complete sense.

It's a fun time by the beach, that's all. Watch it when you're in the mood for sand, sex, and senseless murders committed by a vengeful biker.

7/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Bees (1978)

I love a good, fun, creature feature. And I love movies that can make your skin crawl as some of our smallest critters become some of our biggest enemies, be it in terms of attitude (this movie, the magnificent Phase IV, Arachnophobia) or in terms of size (Empire Of The Ants, The Giant Spider Invasion, ummmmmm . . . Night Of The Lepus). Many of these movies aren't actually any good, but I have a soft spot for them nonetheless. I either saw them when I was young enough to enjoy the thrills without feeling scared (okay, I was maybe a little scared the first time I saw Empire Of The Ants) or they always simply amused me, despite lacking the real thrills or scares that they were supposed to have. None of that really applies to this movie though. This movie is just bad.

The basic plot concerns a strain of more dangerous bees that are smuggled into America by corporate agents who have a plan for them that probably won't put the entire world in danger. Unfortunately, things soon get out of hand and the entire world is put in danger. Oh dear. It's up to an elderly doctor (John Carradine) to save the day. Not just him. It's also up to John Saxon, playing a character who feels like it was written in the script as "anyone as tough and cool as John Saxon", and Angel Tompkins (playing Sandra Miller). Bees buzz around, people flap their hands and fall over, and it all leads to a finale that you wouldn't believe was real if I described it to you right now.

Written and directed by Alfredo Zacarias, it's very hard not to think that he was, well, taking the piss. The Bees starts off quite silly and then just keeps on getting sillier and sillier. Scenes that should be tense are either incompetently staged (any major moments showing the creatures attacking tend to have them as dots passing the screen and small swarms drawn on to each frame) and the plotting is childishly slapdash and careless.

Fair play to Saxon, Tompkins, and Carradine, dlivering some of the most risible dialogue that I've heard in any movie from this subgenre. Saxon, in particular, deserves some kind of award for keeping a straight face during a final act in which he tells people in power exactly what he has managed to surmise from his time trying to understand the bees. And anyone involved in a scene that has lots and lots of actual bees around them also deserves some praise. The bees may have all had their stingers removed (not sure how that affected the poor little buggers) but my instincts would still be telling me to get the hell out of that buzz-filled environment.

It's entertaining during individual moments, but for all the wrong reasons, and that is why I score it as high as I do. Even the score is so bad that it feels as if it has been created that way for comedic effect. I advise people to avoid this one. But you'll chuckle at times if you force yourself to sit through it.

3/10

There's a surprisingly decent looking disc for this here.

Dead By Dawn 2016: New Nightmare (1994)

AKA Wes Craven's New Nightmare.

The story, in brief: Freddy Krueger is an incarnation of an ancient evil, according to Wes Craven (played in the film by . . . Wes Craven), and the stories/movies were actually keeping him somewhat in control but now that he/it is being left to rot away it is time for fiction to come crashing back into reality. What better way for Freddy to get back into our world than through Heather Langenkamp's young son, Dylan (played by Miko Hughes)? Reality is, after all, simply a cinema-screen's width away. And there's sometimes no better cinema screen than the imagination of a child.

This is an interesting, and sadly overlooked, entry in the franchise, that is of importance to genre fans who want to see the ideas in Scream before they became Scream. Craven uses this movie to explore the boundaries between reality and fiction and to subvert many of the horror clichés while at the same time using them to get classic scares. He also manages, impressively, to get Freddy (Robert Englund again, of course) back to being a genuinely scary figure. This is helped by Freddy receiving a makeover that makes him look even more evil than he ever did before. In fact, this and the "devil" Freddy look from FvJ are probably his scariest incarnations.

Langenkamp does slightly better here, playing a version of herself, but I still wish she'd never burdened the entire series with her presence. She's a great gal, and does well to revisit a character she could have ditched a long time ago, but there are many better actresses out there. It has to be said that everyone (Langenkamp, Englund, Saxon and even Craven, although he's the least of them) does well in bravely portraying versions of themselves. And Lin Shaye is back in a minor role, although she may be the only one returning from the first movie NOT to be playing themselves.

This movie, more than any other in the entire series, has intelligence, a great storyline and moments that offer something to really disturb most viewers (parents may feel especially unnerved with some scenes). It also has a number of great callbacks to the first movie and some nice references to classic "horror" stories, Hansel And Gretel being the most obvious one. The second best entry in the series and well worth giving another chance to if you disliked it the first time because it was "too different".

8/10

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Bonus Review: Enter The Dragon (1973)

There's a reason for this being a bonus review today, and Bruce Lee fans should know it.

It's strange to review and rate Enter The Dragon without simply opting to heap plenty of deserved praise upon it and highlight it as a perfect martial arts movie. But it's also necessary, because it's not actually a perfect martial arts movie. It remains among the best of the best, however, but a lot of that comes from the fact that it stars Bruce Lee in his most polished production, which allows you to forgive any pacing issues, and the usual assortment of wonderful sound effects accompanying every kick and punch.

There are details to the plot that I could list here, but it all boils down to one thing: a martial arts tournament. That's it. Bruce Lee is one of the participants. As are both the great John Saxon and the great Jim Kelly. It may be up to those three men to snoop around, find out exactly what else is going on behind the scenes (oh, the tournament takes place on an island), and just what they can find out about the man who runs the whole thing (Han, played by Shih Kien).

Lee remains, arguably, the best, most influential, martial artist of all time. Given his best role here, as a secret agent in all but name, he is as mesmerising and charismatic as ever. Saxon and Kelly aren't overshadowed, however, as they show that they're not exactly wanting in the charisma department either. Kelly is one cool cat, while Saxon is a charming sonofabitch (his character is a talented hustler, but a bad gambler). Bolo Yeung is, surprise surprise, a henchman for the main villain, and he's as menacing as he usually is. It's Kien who proves to be the weakest link, simply due to the fact that he never feels like a viable physical threat. Despite this being a male-oriented environment, Betty Chung, Ahna Capri and Angela Mao Ying do well enough in their roles.

Robert Clouse directs competently enough, and the script by Michael Allin, does a decent job of sketching the main characters, and providing viewers with relevant details, but it's not too much of a stretch to think that most people would have been on to a winner, if they had the same premise to work with, and Bruce Lee as the main star. Oh, and the funktastic score by Lalo Schifrin also helps.

That's not to say that what's on display here is lacking in any technical prowess. The memorable finale, a fight in a mirrored environment that has provided the imagery for many Bruce Lee posters (and, yes, I used to have one on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager), is still one of the best to appear in the subgenre. And it comes after an extended set-piece that allows Lee to show off a number of his skills, including his ability with nunchaku.

So I think it's fair to say that none of the main players were allowed to slouch off. But it's also fair to say that there was only one Bruce Lee, and this remains his finest hour. And that explains why, like the man himself, it overcomes a number of perfections to become pretty much perfect.

10/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Enter-The-Dragon-Anniversary-Edition/dp/B00CP1ZR2S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391364332&sr=8-1&keywords=enter+the+dragon

Sci-Fi September: Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

It's hard to view Richard Thomas as anything other than the nice lad from The Waltons. He's had some other good roles, including a goodie in the beloved IT, but he's often simply noted for his niceness, which quickly becomes quite bland and ever-so-slightly irritating.

In this movie he's yet another nice guy, a young man sent out by his planet to recruit help after they have been threatened with destruction by big, bad Sador (John Saxon). Thomas picks up some allies, including a space cowboy (George Peppard), a cool loner (Robert Vaughn), and a bonkers Sybil Danning kinda gal (Sybil Danning), and then takes them home. There are seven ships altogether, ready to take on a much bigger selection of enemies.

Directed by Jimmy T. Murakami, and written by John Sayles, Battle Beyond The Stars is a sci-fi riff on Seven Samurai, the classic movie that inspired films as varied as The Magnificent Seven and A Bug's Life. Unfortunately, it misses out on the main element that all of those movies have. Despite a few plus points, Battle Beyond The Stars isn't ever as much fun as it should be. This is probably due to a disappointingly flat script by Sayles, and direction from Murakami that's workmanlike, at best. Some lively performances, and a good score by James Horner, help.

The first paragraph covers my thoughts of Thomas this time around. He's just not a great lead, especially when compared to the supporting cast. Vaughn is enjoyably cool, Peppard is a blast, and Danning puts in another wild performance that has made her a firm fan favourite through the years. Saxon hams it up as the villain, while Darlanne Fluegel is stuck with a character as bland and nice as the one played by Thomas. There are others onscreen, but they either barely register or are covered in prosthetics (Morgan Woodward) to make them pretty unrecognisable.

The pacing isn't too bad, and the special effects are okay for the time and budget (but don't expect them to have held up well over the years), so it manages to avoid being a bad movie. It's just a shame that it also manages to avoid being a very good one. During the many moments without Peppard, Vaughn or Danning, the whole thing just starts to sink when it should be easily soaring from one set-piece to the next.

I'm sure that people who saw this back in the early '80s will always have fond memories of it. We've all got films like that. But even those who have great affection for it will, I think, struggle to overlook all of the flaws when revisiting it today. They'll like it more than I did, but I doubt it will appear on any Top 10 lists.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Cormans-Classics-Anniversary-Special-Blu-ray/dp/B004VT9JJE/ref=tmm_blu_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1410721618

Trapped Ashes (2006)

An anthology horror movie with some considerable talent both in front of the camera and behind it, Trapped Ashes may not become a firm favourite, but it's good enough for a one-time watch.

Written by Dennis Bartok, the different sections are directed by Joe Dante, Ken Russell, Monte Hellman, Sean S. Cunningham, and John Gaeta. If that selection of names isn't enough to get you excited then consider the fact that the cast includes Henry Gibson, John Saxon, and a fleeting cameo from Dick Miller. Okay, the rest of the cast maybe isn't full of actors on the same level as those guys, but there are certainly enough fan-pleasing moments sprinkled throughout the runtime.

The wraparound story, directed by Joe Dante, concerns a bunch of people - Lara Harris, Scott Lowell, Rachel Veltri, Jayce Bartok, John Saxon and Michele-Barbara Pelletier - who are on a tour of a Hollywood movie studio. The tour guide (Gibson) relents when they ask him if they can enter a famous House Of Horror, but once everyone is inside they soon realise that they can't find their way out again. The tour guide reminds everyone that this was actually the plot of a movie, and that people ended up telling stories of their scariest moments until they could find their way out again. Which leads to people telling stories of their scariest moments.

Story one is "The Girl With The Golden Breasts" and it's a typical slice of lunacy from Ken Russell. Rachel Veltri stars as the titular (stop sniggering) girl. More comical than any of the other tales, this is a fun way to get the ball rolling, but also feels out of place when viewed alongside the segments that come along after it.

Story two is "Jibaku", a strange tale of seduction and evil starring Lara Harris and Scott Lowell as a married couple who end up going through a difficult time, to put it mildly, when Harris gets mixed up with a dangerous spirit. Director Sean S. Cunningham employs some impressive imagery here, but the story is never that engrossing, and ultimately falls a bit flat.

Story three is a cracker, entitled "Stanley's Girlfriend", and I don't want to mention anything that might spoil the pleasant surprise it provides. Amelia Cooke is the very appealing girl at the centre of events, Tahmoh Panikett and Tygh Runyan both do well in their roles, and John Saxon is his usual great self. The direction from Monte Hellman here is solid, servicing material that is aiming for a mix of creepiness and regret.

Last, we get "My Twin, The Worm", starring Matreya Fedor. Directed by John Gaeta, this is a tale with no surprises, and makes for a bit of a weak final story, I'm afraid.

Then it's time to finish up the wraparound with a final sequence that most viewers, especially fans of anthology horrors, will have been predicting from the beginning. That doesn't mean that it's unenjoyable. It's just unoriginal.

Writer Dennis Bartok obviously has a love for traditional horror and traditional Hollywood, as a number of the tales riff on aspects of "the golden age", but he just doesn't take the time to craft and polish everything to compensate for the weaker aspects, the unoriginality and poor special effects. The cast and directors don't do too badly, but they're hampered by the script, either by the central story ideas or the general stale air that hangs over most of the material (possibly intentional, considering the wraparound).

But I had still enjoyed this movie, and I'd watch it again. That doesn't mean that it's great. It just means that I'm easily pleased, but I know that some other horror fans in a good mood might also have some fun with this one.

6/10

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