Lake Placid 2 (2007)

It may sound like ridiculous hyperbole, but I can think of few first sequels that have been as big a step down in quality as Lake Placid 2, a film that was released directly to the Sci-Fi/SyFy Channel in 2007, eight years after the sharp and witty first movie. It's a miracle that this is even watchable, thanks to writers Tood Hurvitz and Howie Miller at least occasionally trying to sprinkle in some of the humour that made the first film work so well.

The plot is very simple. Killer crocodiles are on the loose. Yes, there's more than one this time around. Sheriff James Riley (John Schneider) ends up working with Fish & Game Officer Emily (Sarah Lafleur) to get to the bottom of things. They end up being assisted by a poacher named Struthers (Sam McMurray), as well as his assistant, Ahmad (Joe Holt). Meanwhile, elsewhere around the lake area, the Sheriff's son, Scott (Chad Michael Collins), is enjoying the company of Kerri (Alicia Ziegler) and a few other potential croc snacks. And you have Cloris Leachman in the role of Sadie Bickerman, a relative of the character played by Betty White in the first movie.

It's a real shame about Lake Placid 2, and about the other films that would come after it. Some of the people involved try, despite the first film setting a surprisingly high benchmark, but then they have to rely on someone delivering the special effects. These special effects seem to have been created by a CGI company who forgot about their deadline until the very last hour, after having spent a full day in their local pub. The killer crocodiles shown here are just about on a par with anything seen in the earlier Resident Evil videogames. They're crude, move without the menacing fluidity of a real crocodile, and generate much more laughter than tension.

Director David Flores has just over half a dozen TV movies to his credit, as a director, and it's no surprise to see that most of his films were in this kind of vein (i.e. standard SyFy Channel movie stuff). Hurvitz and Miller have spent most of their career writing for TV shows, but they don't do a terrible job here. Yes, you get plenty of familiarity, because of the simplicity of the set-ups and the need to nod to the first film, but they at least try to craft some decent chemistry between the main adult leads.

Schneider is a decent enough lead, acting nicely laid back and easygoing for the most part. Lafleur does well alongside him, although she's often just there to explain either the creature or the background of new characters. McMurray is a lot of fun, although I did feel sorry for Holt, stuck playing a character who feels not too far removed from a "Friday" character (from Robinson Crusoe, not from the Ice Cube/Chris Tucker movie). Collins, Ziegler, and co. are all much less interesting, and obviously there to be placed in peril. Leachman is enjoyable, and would have been an absolute highlight if her character wasn’t just there to try recreating the fun turn from White.

Lake Placid was a great film. From what I know of the sequels, and there are many, none of them come close to the original. But that won’t stop me watching them all anyway (some of them for a second time).

3/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Stone Cold (1991)

People who have met bikers in real life will be able to tell you that, for the most part, they're often a lovely bunch of people. Their image is enough to scare some folk, and they may not always want everyone knowing how nice they are, but I've yet to meet a biker with a bad attitude. In the movies, however, it's a whole different story.

Stone Cold is another movie that features a dangerous gang of bikers (who seem to be accompanied by an invisible lead guitarist wherever they ride). Led by Lance Henriksen (playing a character named Chains Cooper), this bunch are never happier than when they're making money from drug deals, shooting guns and just being as rowdy and violent as possible. Of course, with William Forsythe in the gang, trouble was almost guaranteed. Enter Brian Bosworth, an undercover cop who is tasked with getting enough on the gang to lock 'em up for a long time.

Never mind the cliche-ridden script by Walter Doniger, nor the dodgy fashion choices of Bosworth in the lead role, Stone Cold is all about macho men all squabbling with one another. There's one main female character, played by Arabella Holzbog, who manages to make a decent minor impact despite being cloaked in the fug of testosterone, but, from the opening sequence to the grand finale, this is all about alpha males, and all about showing Bosworth as the most alpha of them all.

Craig R. Baxley directs competently enough, compensating for the ridiculous aspects of the script by moving things along at a decent pace, and also revelling in some of the silliness. The first half of the movie, in particular, shows Bosworth puffing out his chest and beating his way into the biker gang in a way that delivers some decent action moments, while also providing no small amount of amusement.

But it's the cast making this truly memorable. Well, three of the main stars, at any rate. Bosworth may not be a great actor, but he has muscles, the ability to ride a motorbike, doesn't mind wearing some jewellery, and has a fine mane. Which makes him perfect in his role. Henriksen is a strong leader who often relies on his actions to speak louder than words, and Forsythe is at his barmy best, never warming to The Boz and always looking for an excuse to start trouble with him. Holzbog, as already mentioned, does well enough in her role, and Sam McMurray is entertaining as the agent helping to run the operation (a character who grows stronger as things move towards the finale).

If you're after a quality piece of cinema to echo through eternity then this probably won't be your first choice. But if you're after a fun action thriller with lots of bikers, a hero who owns a large pet lizard, and over the top moments in almost every main scene . . . . . . . . . well, this is exactly what you need to be watching.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Stone-Cold-Brian-Bosworth/dp/B000OPOAR0/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1400558003&sr=1-3&keywords=stone+cold

I WILL keep reminding people that every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself). So please feel free to remember me whenever you're visiting Amazon.

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas (1996)

Ahhhh, how I used to love The Munsters. Great personalities, lots of gags (both good and bad) and lovely design throughout from the house itself, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, to each one of the main characters. I don't know what I was expecting from this Christmas special, considering the fact that it was about 30 years after the original series and just how much the world, and my view on it, had changed in those intervening years.

Surprising as it is, The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas gets by and may please fans of the show as it pleased me. I didn't love it and I won't be rushing to rewatch it but I felt comfortable watching it and enjoying the many obvious jokes. Fred Gwynne, the original Herman Munster, is irreplaceable but Sam McMurray tries to do his best by the role.

The story is all about The Munsters getting ready for Christmas. This involves decorating their home, trying to cheer up a morose Eddie and sending out the invites to family and friends. Herman is still scaring people with his appearance, Lily (Ann Magnuson) is still rolling her eyes while keeping her family in line, Grandpa (Sandy Baron) is as troublesome as a pesky child and Marilyn (Elaine Hendrix) is the ugly duckling of the family. Then there's Eddie (Bug Hall), struggling to adjust to life away from his homeland. All of this starts to pale into insignificance, however, when Santa Claus ends up with the Munsters and in need of some serious help.

Written by Ed Ferrara and Kevin Murphy, and directed by Ian Emes, everything here is handled capably enough. I can't really say that The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas is good but it's certainly a lot better than I thought it was going to be. That's thanks to two things. First of all, the tone is quite close to the tone of the old series. Everything is silly and fun as opposed to sharp and cool. Secondly, the cast may not be able to fill the big shoes of the original players but a couple of key players - namely Sandy Baron and Elaine Hendrix - do very well while everyone else involved manages to at least acquit themselves capably enough. There's also a small role for Mary Woronov as a nosey neighbour, which is a bonus for genre fans. Mark Mitchell, Ed Gale and Arturo Gil as Santa and his two elves don't really add much fun to the proceedings but their characters add the required Christmas magic, of course, so their presence is bearable.

Not worth rushing out to buy and not even worth rushing out to watch but if you're lazing around during the Christmas holidays and this comes on TV then it's a painless time-waster that might remind you to hunt down the original series and relive some fond memories.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/The-Munsters-Scary-Little-Christmas/dp/B000V6LSNQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354228759&sr=8-1&keywords=the+munsters%27+scary+little+christmas