Prime Time: Hellboy Animated: Blood And Iron (2007)

At this current time, a new Hellboy movie has just been released. And it's taken quite a drubbing, in terms of both the general critcal consensus. I have yet to see it, despite wanting to (David Harbour is an actor I like, Neil Marshall is a director I LOVE), so I figured that I could at least check out one or two other Hellboy tales in the meantime.

This particular adventure, Blood And Iron, features the main cast members from the Guillermo del Toro movies, all lending their voices to their characters in animated form (much like the Sword Of Storms tale, which I have also seen, and the super-short Iron Shoes tale, which I have yet to free up three minutes for). The animation style is fun and it's good to just be able to spend a bit more time with these characters again.

But what's it all about? Basically, the BPRD are despatched to investigate a haunted house. They suspect that it's all just a publicity stunt, considering the new owner of the house is a very rich developer who would seem to relish the attention. But it turns out that there's more to the case, and it involves a vampire previously encountered by Professor Bruttenholm. Moving between the present and the past, viewers get to see Bruttenholm finding out about the vampire many years ago, as well as his time convincing others that a small, red, demonic entity could be worth looking after, instead of being immediately destroyed.

Directed by Victor Cook, and Tad Stones, this is an enjoyable distraction for those simply wanting another Hellboy adventure. It retains the essence of the characters, adds some nice backstory details, and moves briskly from one bloody set-piece to the next. Writer Kevin Hopps doesn't seem to have too hard a time putting the script together, a lot of the backstory feels very much like it could have been lifted from many Hammer horror movies, but perhaps it's unfair to think that just because Hopps has done such good work making it seem so easy.

Perlman is good in the central role, although he seems a bit less petulant and grumpy than he was in the live-action movies, and the mellifluous vocal stylings of John Hurt are as enchanting and soothing as ever (maybe that's just me). Selma Blair and Doug Jones round off the central quartet, doing just fine, and the supporting artists all do solid work, with Kath Soucie and Cree Summer getting to have the most fun as the main villains.

It's far from unmissable, and I wouldn't recommend seeking it out for ridiculously inflated prices, but this is a good piece of work for Hellboy fans, with the animation style fluid and nicely in line with the majority of the standard comic art (from what I can see, although I still need to delve in to some of the printed tales). A fun 75 minutes, nothing more and nothing less.

7/10

You can buy the DVD here.
Americans can buy it here.

Mom And Dad (2017)

Written and directed by Brian Taylor (THE Taylor from the Neveldine/Taylor relationship that gave us the likes of the Crank movies and Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance), Mom And Dad is a mix of horror and black comedy that allows the writer-director to creep into fresh territory while not having to move too far out of his comfort zone. You still get moments that are full of quick editing and action, you still get a film that sets up the main premise and then follows it through to a satisfying finale with pacing that seems to gather momentum through every main sequence, and you get plenty individual moments of outright madness.

Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair play Brent and Kendall Ryan, respectively. They have a teenage daughter (Anne Winters) and a younger son (Zackary Arthur). They seem like quite a decent family unit, squabbles and stresses and all. That looks unlikely to last when a mysterious force starts to cause parents to turn into raging psychos who must kill their children. Can Cage and Blair resist the force? Considering how crazy he can be at the best of times, it seems unlikely that Cage will resist for long. And Blair is just as susceptible as everyone else.

Taking every minor irritation and turning it up to 11, Mom And Dad quickly becomes a collage of seething resentment and retribution. It's almost, perhaps, a dark and extreme fantasy for every parent who has been pushed to the very edge of sanity by a foot-stamping child. It's the ultimate punchline to any of those arguments that end with parents calling for a little gratitude and for their offspring to just consider how much they have had given to them over the years. The tagline sums that up: "They brought you into this world. They can take you out."

Cage and Blair are both a hell of a lot of fun, whether trying to make sense of the situation unfolding around them or unleashing all of their rage. Even their "quieter" moments, shown at the start of the film and very occasionally throughout the film, are enjoyably off-kilter. That's not because they're acting badly. It's because viewers know what is going on and can enjoy the weight in each line of dialogue and the small inconveniences that may well help to fuel them once they start to see red. Winters and Arthur are also very good, both spending a lot of their time trying to keep themselves alive while wondering just what the hell is happening around them, and Robert Cunningham has some very good scenes. He's going out with the daughter of the Ryans, making him an even more obvious target for the anger as it starts to burst out of the adults.

But all of this talk of the comedic nature of the material and performances (and I should also mention that Lance Henriksen makes a welcome appearance, although not for too long) shouldn't make you think that this is an easy watch. It IS, for the most part, but there are some scenes here that are unrelentingly tense and brutal, including one scene that has immediately become one of the most uncomfortable things I have seen in the past decade. You might think I'm exaggerating. See how you feel once you have watched the film for yourself.

Taylor has, for better or worse (depending on your views on their work), given people a film that easily sits alongside his collaborative efforts with Mark Neveldine. If he keeps going along this path, making the best of a strong central premise while pushing at the edges of territory he is more familiar with, then he might end up with a damn fine filmography to look back on. If we all continue to overlook that second Ghost Rider movie. And maybe Jonah Hex, even if I am one of the few people who quite enjoyed it.

8/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

The Fog (2005)

A remake that nobody really wanted turns out to be a film that few people will love. The Fog has one purpose in life, and that's to make horror fans, like myself, roll our eyes when we talk about the 1980 version of The Fog and have to add "the John Carpenter one". Of course, the same could be said about The Thing and Halloween, but it's this one that rankles the most, perhaps due to the way that an atmospheric, campfire tale of a movie is turned into a horrible, clumsy, teen horror.

Tom Welling stars as Nick Castle (that reference/in-joke is about as good as it gets, folks). Nick is making a living in the small community of Antonio Island. The community is about to unveil a statue honouring its founding fathers, but it seems that they may not have been too honourable in the dealings that led to a major boost in local fortunes. As people gather to celebrate, a fog starts to roll in, and that fog seems to contain some spirits who want revenge for wrongs exacted upon them.

Cooper Layne may not have written the best script here (adapting ideas from the original material by John Carpenter and Debra Hill), but director Rupert Wainwright certainly doesn't help with any of the choices that he makes. None of the horrible CGI or jump scares are a patch on anything from the original movie. It may be unfair to compare the two, but when so many similiar elements are onscreen, and the recent version is overshadowed by a film that was made twenty five years previously, I think there's good reason to comment.

Welling tries, but he's no leading man. Maggie Grace is just . . . . . there as Elizabeth, the sorta girlfriend of Welling's character, and it's only Selma Blair who really makes this worth a watch. Taking on a role so memorably played by the gorgeous Adrienne Barbeau is no mean feat, but Blair doesn't do too badly at all, despite the script leaving her hanging out to dry in the third act. DeRay Davis, Kenneth Welsh, Adrian Hough and some other folk all play second fiddle to the the not-so-special effects.

Taking a movie and remaking it badly isn't really a major sin, despite what we fans will sometimes say. Taking a film that really crafted a perfect campfire tale, however, and then pissing on that fire and trying to serve up the wet ashes to people? Well, that's not really a major sin either, but it should be. Oh yes, it should.

3/10

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