Little Monsters (2019)

Before you read any further, and before I add some substance to my opinion, I would recommend that most people instead check out the Little Monsters from 1989 ahead of this one. The two may be very different films, and I am only going by my memory for the 1989 film, but I think the older one is a more enjoyable experience.

Written and directed by Abe Forsythe, this is another zombie movie. And it's another one using the walking dead to make you laugh as well as wince. Which would be well and good, if only the laughs were as good as Forsythe obviously thinks they are.

Alexander England is Dave, a young man with a few too many problems in his life right now. But he can distract himself from his own problems when he gets the chance to take his nephew (Felix, played by Diesel La Torraca) on a day out with his teacher, the beautiful Miss Caroline (played by the beautiful Lupita Nyong'o). Unfortunately, a zombie outbreak occurs, which leads to the adults trying to keep the kids safe without letting them know the full horror of the situation. Nothing will be helped by the selfish and sour entertainer known as Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad).

Those elements should be perfect for throwing together and creating a great zombie comedy. You have the kids being allowed to remain oblivious, you have the stereotypically jaded children's entertainer, and you have Lupita Nyong'o. Sadly, it's only really Nyong'o that works, for reasons that are a bit hard to pin down. But I'll try.

First off, Forsythe just hasn't done enough work on the script. None of the characters are as well-formed as they could be, with one or two exceptions, none of the dialogue exchanges are as good as they could be, and there's nothing to show any real effort having been made beyond coming up with the central premise.

Second, the casting is not good. England doesn't have the right kind of charm to make his character more appealing as he tries to claw his way out of a major low point in his life, and Gad is simply not as funny as he should be, especially with his character being ripe for most of the bigger laughs. Okay, that's not all Gad's fault (I refer you back to the complaint about the script), but someone more acerbic in that role could have lifted things slightly. Nyong'o saves the whole film, almost single-handedly. The other person helping to make scenes watchable is actually young La Torraca, who is a natural onscreen presence, unaffected and sweet without seeming horribly saccharin.

Third, there's no sense of real peril. If someone fills their horror comedy with kids and then you get the idea that those kids could be killed at any moment then you can still have tension and feel that there are stakes to be played for. Forsythe never gives off that vibe, which makes this whole thing a redundant exercise in how to best present a horror comedy with no real horror and too few moments of comedy.

A lot of people ended up enjoying this, but part of me still suspects some of those people were actually talking about the 1989 movie. It didn't work for me, and I can't recommend it to others, but at least anyone forced to watch it will be able to enjoy those performances from La Torraca and Nyong'o. Which is enough to bump it up by a point or two.

4/10

You can buy the movie here.

Prime Time: One Cut Of The Dead (2017)

You may or may not be aware that something quite odd happened just a couple of days ago. One Cut Of The Dead went on Amazon Prime. A friend told me about this, and I was delighted. I had heard the festival buzz on the film, had the disc pre-ordered, and figured it would be a perfect way to start the new year (or so I hoped). But it turns out that it wasn't supposed to be there. There has still been no proper explanation, or apology (as far as I am aware), given to Third Window Films, who worked as quickly as they could to minimise the damage, considering that One Cut Of The Dead is also about to get a wider, but still limited, cinema release throughout the UK. After weighing up the good and the bad of the situation, and despite the film no longer being on Amazon Prime right now (because it should not have been there at all), I decided to still review it in this slot, hopefully reminding others about it, and maybe pointing one or two of you along to the cinema, or towards ordering the discs.

Now . . . on with the film review.

One Cut Of The Dead starts off like a standard zombie movie. It then cuts to show the movie being made. And then zombie stuff happens, interrupting the further filming of the zombie movie. And then, after about half an hour, it ends. Which is when we move back in time to see some more plot unfolding, all leading to a third act that, well, let me just say that it pretty much pays off everything that you've seen beforehand, and in a way that is smart, amusing, and quite audacious.

My reactions to One Cut Of The Dead while I was watching it went as follows: hmmm okay, still okay, oh it's doing THAT, now I know how things are going, I suppose that's alright, that can't be the end already, ahh it's not the end, but this stuff isn't all that interesting, I'm not quite sure how this got as much praise as it did, it's really starting to lose me here, oh that's interesting, NOW I know what it's aiming for, oh this is brilliant, oh this is brilliant on a number of levels, mental vision of a standing ovation. I refuse to say any more because part of the beauty of the film comes from seeing how it ultimately comes together.

Written and directed by Shinichiro Ueda, his third feature amongst a selection of shorts, this is a film that demands patience and trust from the viewer, and then rewards everyone with an immensely satisfying third act. Anyone who gives up during after the first third, or at any time before the halfway point, is going to miss out on something that comes close to being sublime, and will simply wonder what everyone else sees in the thing.

There's definitely a slight lag at the mid-point, but even those scenes will reward viewers on repeat viewings, with the mix of enjoyable gags and moments that both echo and foreshadow what plays out in the film within a film. And the gags and dialogue, as well as the apparent low-budget, also help distract, for good and bad, from the fact that the technical work and sheer logistics of the more memorable scenes are absolutely brilliant. This is a small film with big ambitions, and it achieves everything it sets out to achieve.

The main cast members - Takayuki Hamatsu, Yuzuki Akiyama, Mao, Harumi Shuhama, and Manabu Hosoi - all do very good work, with Hamatsu the obvious standout as the director tasked with creating the zombie film that opens the proceedings, the end result of a strange and obstacle-laden journey that is revealed later on.

One Cut Of The Dead is a hell of a journey, and those who stick with it may find themselves with a new favourite zombie film. But it's worth bearing in mind that it's not a horror. It's a smart, layered, comedy that happens to have some zombies in it.

8/10

You can order the disc here.
Here's a list of the cinemas screening the movie very soon. Please go along and support it if you can.

Dead Snow 2: Red Vs. Dead (2014)

I quite enjoyed Dead Snow. There were many who liked it even more than I did, but what was there to dislike about a horror comedy featuring Nazi zombies out to reclaim their treasure stash? Dead Snow 2: Red Vs. Dead actually manages to top the first film. It's brisker, it's gorier, and it's a damn sight funnier.

Following immediately on from the events of the first movie, Martin (Vegar Hoel) continues to fight off Nazi zombies until a serious car crash lands him in hospital. The police have questions for him, of course, but the doctor at least gives him some good news. They've managed to reattach the arm that they assume he lost in the car crash. Unfortunately, he didn't lose his arm in the car crash. Evil Nazi zombie Herzog (Orjan Gamst) did. Martin now has a super-strong, evil, right arm. If he can get it under his control then it may prove useful in his attempts to stop whatever the undead soldiers have planned. He might also be able to enlist the help of the Zombie Squad. Will it be enough?

Full marks go to Tommy Wirkola here (who also helped to write the script again, this time with Stig Frode Henriksen and their leading man, Hoel). Everyone was obviously on the same page, and every scene feels as if there have been as many gore gags as possible slotted in. You're unlikely to see more intestines pulled out, heads smashed and limbs ripped off in any other major 2014 release. And the running gag with a zombie who keeps being killed and resurrected again and again creates some big laughs and also, amazingly enough, affection for the poor thing being used in such a disposable way.

Barring one or two scenes, this is a movie equivalent of a juggernaut heading down a steep hill with no brakes. It doesn't let up, and once plot details are revealed you know just where it's heading, making the anticipation of the climax almost as much fun as the actual playing out of the thing itself.

The only thing that doesn't really sit right is the Zombie Squad, made up of one guy (Martin Starr) and two girls (Jocelyn DeBoer and Ingrid Haas). As happened with the first movie, this film stumbles when making use of characters that are best labelled as nerds. Hey, I'm a nerd. I'm not using it as a negative label, but I also don't think the stereotypes used here (youngsters who use Star Wars quotes and spend a lot of their time online) would necessarily be the most heroic when thrown in to a situation involving real zombies. I know that I've always told my wife that in the event of a zombie outbreak, despite my love for her, I would be trying to race ahead of her, simply to guarantee my own life for a bit longer.

Hoel has a lot of fun in the lead role, especially in the early scenes that show him struggling with a new arm acting out of his control, and Gamst is once again great at simply glowering and emanating evil. Starr, DeBoer (who looks a LOT like Rashida Jones here . . . . . or maybe that's just me) and Haas do okay, considering that they're stuck with the poorest characters, and writer Henriksen also joins in with the onscreen fun, doing well enough in the role of Glenn Kenneth, an innocent bystander who ends up helping to defeat the zombie menace. Hallvard Holmen and Amrita Acharia play a couple of police officers who can't believe what they end up seeing, and Derek Mears is once again under heavy make-up, playing a Russian zombie named Stavarin (hence the title of the movie).

If you liked the first movie then you'll love this sequel. If you didn't like the first movie then there's still a chance that you could like this. It's splatstick comedy at its best.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Dead-Snow-Red-Vs-Blu-ray/dp/B00OBDKO1W/ref=sr_1_3_twi_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1420143375&sr=1-3&keywords=dead+snow

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Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies (2012)

I really tossed and turned while considering just how to rate this one. No, no, no, if you came here to read about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter then you have been fooled once again by those cunning marketing folks over at The Asylum. THAT Abraham Lincoln movie is due out very soon but, as usual, The Asylum make up for their lack of originality by getting their movies out there faster and cheaper. I also have the sneaking suspicion that either their movies are getting more enjoyable or that my brain has just given up and started to enjoy micro-holidays while I watch them.

What do I need to tell you about the film that isn't already spelled out for you there in the title? Not a lot, really. Abraham Lincoln (Bill Oberst Jr) is the presidential figure that you know about from history but what you won't have been aware of is just how he had to do his best to save America from a nasty zombie epidemic. Thankfully, he was pretty happy with sharp, hand-held, weaponry.

Directed by Richard Schenkman (who also wrote the screenplay based on a story idea by Karl T. Hirsch and J. Lauren Proctor based on *ahem* something that clearly inspired them), Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies features many of the usual flaws that movies from The Asylum have. The score is quite bland for most of the runtime - there are a couple of nice moments here and there but a lot of the music just reminds you of something that you'd hear in the background of an advert for some new eco-friendly, gluten-free, hemp-based cheese . . . . . . or something. The acting from most of the supporting players is pretty bad but the edge is taken off the pain by just how good Bill Oberst Jr. is in the lead role. There are also a few good turns elsewhere - Baby Norman is very good as Mary Owens, Canon Kuipers is an enjoyably courageous young Teddy Roosevelt and Christopher Marrone has fun as Pat Garrett. Historical accuracy may not be to the fore but at least the movie doesn't disappoint with the fun factor.

Some moments are very good, very good indeed (including an excellent little punchline to end everything), but you also have the inevitable moments that will make you want to scream at the screen. People who seem to wander backwards slowly, either facing death by zombie with a distinct lack of urgency or allowing death by zombie to sneak up right behind them. There's also some drawn out obstinancy and ignorance that beggars belief, considering what the characters can see happening around them.

The special effects are surprisingly decent throughout and purists will enjoy the fact that these zombies a) don't run and b) require a serious head trauma to be negated as a threat. This enjoyment may, however, be tempered by the fact that these zombies sometimes sleep. Yes, I said sleep. It's a minor detail that's not overused in the film but you have been warned.

All in all, this is as much fun as you should expect it to be, thanks in no small part to a fantastic central performance and an entertaining central premise copied stolen cribbed derived from other works.

6/10


http://www.amazon.com/Abraham-Lincoln-vs-Zombies-Blu-ray/dp/B007BS38LW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338931775&sr=8-1