Trapped Ashes (2006)

An anthology horror movie with some considerable talent both in front of the camera and behind it, Trapped Ashes may not become a firm favourite, but it's good enough for a one-time watch.

Written by Dennis Bartok, the different sections are directed by Joe Dante, Ken Russell, Monte Hellman, Sean S. Cunningham, and John Gaeta. If that selection of names isn't enough to get you excited then consider the fact that the cast includes Henry Gibson, John Saxon, and a fleeting cameo from Dick Miller. Okay, the rest of the cast maybe isn't full of actors on the same level as those guys, but there are certainly enough fan-pleasing moments sprinkled throughout the runtime.

The wraparound story, directed by Joe Dante, concerns a bunch of people - Lara Harris, Scott Lowell, Rachel Veltri, Jayce Bartok, John Saxon and Michele-Barbara Pelletier - who are on a tour of a Hollywood movie studio. The tour guide (Gibson) relents when they ask him if they can enter a famous House Of Horror, but once everyone is inside they soon realise that they can't find their way out again. The tour guide reminds everyone that this was actually the plot of a movie, and that people ended up telling stories of their scariest moments until they could find their way out again. Which leads to people telling stories of their scariest moments.

Story one is "The Girl With The Golden Breasts" and it's a typical slice of lunacy from Ken Russell. Rachel Veltri stars as the titular (stop sniggering) girl. More comical than any of the other tales, this is a fun way to get the ball rolling, but also feels out of place when viewed alongside the segments that come along after it.

Story two is "Jibaku", a strange tale of seduction and evil starring Lara Harris and Scott Lowell as a married couple who end up going through a difficult time, to put it mildly, when Harris gets mixed up with a dangerous spirit. Director Sean S. Cunningham employs some impressive imagery here, but the story is never that engrossing, and ultimately falls a bit flat.

Story three is a cracker, entitled "Stanley's Girlfriend", and I don't want to mention anything that might spoil the pleasant surprise it provides. Amelia Cooke is the very appealing girl at the centre of events, Tahmoh Panikett and Tygh Runyan both do well in their roles, and John Saxon is his usual great self. The direction from Monte Hellman here is solid, servicing material that is aiming for a mix of creepiness and regret.

Last, we get "My Twin, The Worm", starring Matreya Fedor. Directed by John Gaeta, this is a tale with no surprises, and makes for a bit of a weak final story, I'm afraid.

Then it's time to finish up the wraparound with a final sequence that most viewers, especially fans of anthology horrors, will have been predicting from the beginning. That doesn't mean that it's unenjoyable. It's just unoriginal.

Writer Dennis Bartok obviously has a love for traditional horror and traditional Hollywood, as a number of the tales riff on aspects of "the golden age", but he just doesn't take the time to craft and polish everything to compensate for the weaker aspects, the unoriginality and poor special effects. The cast and directors don't do too badly, but they're hampered by the script, either by the central story ideas or the general stale air that hangs over most of the material (possibly intentional, considering the wraparound).

But I had still enjoyed this movie, and I'd watch it again. That doesn't mean that it's great. It just means that I'm easily pleased, but I know that some other horror fans in a good mood might also have some fun with this one.

6/10

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Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

Richard Lynch is a bad man. A very bad man. Well, that's how he is in the role of Mikhail Rostov, the main villain in Invasion U.S.A. Thank goodness that we all have Chuck Norris to protect us from the evil people of the world. He's the man who can repel invaders with nothing more than the right denim clothing and his fists. Oh, and guns. And some grenades. And lots of other weaponry.

That's pretty much all there is to this movie. Rostov brings his men over to America, and sends them off to do lots of bad stuff, while Matt Hunter (Norris) does his best to stop their evil deeds. As the invaders impersonate cops and army personnel, American citizens become rightfully paranoid and mistrustful, making the job more difficult for anyone trying to offer them genuine help. Will Hunter be able to stop the madness before it becomes impossible to fix? Well, he IS Chuck Norris. What do you think?

Directed by Joseph Zito, this is a movie that puts fun ahead of everything else. Well, by fun I actually mean gunfire, explosions, and the endangering of human life. Which, in this context, is fun. The screenplay, by James Bruner and Chuck himself, is as clunky, at times, as you'd expect, but it does all that it needs to do in between some fantastic, riotous set-pieces. Who needs thoughtful, character-building dialogue when you can have Chuck driving a truck into a building, killing off numerous bad guys, and handling Uzi submachine guns like he's been holding them since birth.

Lynch is very good as the main villain, ably supported by Alexander Zale as his right hand man, and Norris stays well in his comfort zone as the one-man army able to keep America safe as it stands on the very brink of disaster. Melissa Prophet is alternately amusing and irritating as the reporter trying to figure out just what exactly is going on, and what Norris has to do with it all, and Eddie Jones is a perplexed cop. Elsewhere, there are small roles for James Pax and, best of all, the ever-brilliant Billy Drago.

Joseph Zito may not have directed too many movies in his career, but with films such as this, and the superior Red Scorpion, he guaranteed himself a place in the hearts of many action fans. Grab the beverage of your choice, wear your most comfortable denim ensemble, and enjoy.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Invasion-U-S-Chuck-Norris/dp/B00005O06W/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1406004304&sr=1-1&keywords=invasion+usa

3 Days To Kill (2014)

Directed by McG. A story by Luc Besson. Kevin Costner in the lead role. I can see 3 Days To Kill being a movie that many people are predisposed to dismiss, or avoid, but I ended up having fun with it. A lot of fun.

Costner is Ethan Renner, a CIA agent who remains the best man for the job whenever people need to be killed. Unfortunately, he's diagnosed with an illness that only gives him weeks to live, which leads to him desperately trying to rebuild some bridges with his daughter (Hailee Steinfeld) and wife (Connie Nielsen). The CIA have a lot of resources, however, and a woman named Vivi (Amber Heard) approaches Ethan with a proposal. She will offer him a treatment for his illness that isn't even on the market yet, if he helps her to kill a major target. And anyone else who gets in their way. Ethan agrees, but his job ends up being complicated by his attempts to enjoy some quality time with his daughter.

Co-written by Besson and Adi Hasak, 3 Days To Kill is enjoyably quirky stuff, anchored by a performance from Costner that may well remind viewers of his oh-so-cool turn as Frank Farmer in The Bodyguard. He may be many years older, and his character may be suffering from failing health, but he still has the confidence and the intelligence to be the most dangerous man in any room.

The rest of the cast don't fare as well, but all is forgiven whenever Costner is doing his thing. Steinfeld, in particular, suffers, due to the fact that her character is written as too moody, weak, and just bloody unappreciative (although she has some good reason to be lashing out). Heard is decent, strong and sexy as the woman who is now the boss of Renner. Nielsen is slightly sidelined for most of the movie, and Richard Sammel and Tomas Lemarquis are okay, if pretty unmemorable, as the main villains.

McG actually does fine in the director's chair. He's shown over the past few years that he isn't tied to the over-the-top style used in those Charlie's Angels movies, and the action beats here are nicely choreographed and edited. It's slick stuff, but smooth, reminding viewers that the main characters is cool and in control, for the most part. There may not be quite enough action moments for fans, but the quirky comedy is also nicely played out, making the whole thing a fun time for fans of the main star.

I'm sure I'll be in the minority with my love for this one, but I hope there are some other viewers out there who end up enjoying it as much as I did. Costner is, in my opinion, always worth your time. Even if he doesn't always pick the best movies to showcase his talent.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Days-Kill-Blu-ray-Kevin-Costner/dp/B00JA3RPAG/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1406370305&sr=1-2&keywords=3+days+to+kill

Kiss Of The Dragon (2001)

Jet Li stars in this action movie that has a script co-written by Luc Besson, so you should know exactly what to expect. Yes, there's a fun, action-packed opener, a couple of good set-pieces throughout, and a decent finale. As for character development and nuance, those things are out the window. That doesn't matter when the focus is on Li kicking ass, but it's not so good during the non-action moments.

Li is a Chinese intelligence agent who travels to Paris to help out the police there. They're mounting an operation to catch a well-known criminal (Ric Young). Unfortunately for Li, it turns out that he's about to be set up by Inspector Richard (Tcheky Karyo), an officer who is more concerned with making money from drugs and prostitution than any real police work. Framed for a crime he didn't commit, Li soon finds himself a very wanted man. He does his best to lay low, but that can only last so long. Richard and co. should be worried, however, when he decides that it's time to fight back.

Chris Nahon is the director, but with this being his first time in the big chair for a feature he doesn't really show any unique style, or even any great potential for things to come (at the time of writing, this remains, arguably, his best film). The script, which has Robert Mark Kamen working with Besson to develop a story idea by Li, is perfunctory, at best. There are some nice moments with Li using needles to either help or hinder people, but everything else is predictable from start to finish.

Li is great in the main role, and he's enough to keep everything above average. Not only is he a fantastic martial artist, but he also does well in scenes that require him to show some sweetness and/or good humour. Karyo is a fun villain, always seconds away from exploding in a fit of rage, and he has at least two great henchmen available to help him out (Cyril Raffaelli and Didier Azoulay). Bridget Fonda has one of her lesser roles, playing a woman forced into prostitution and drug use, and there are small roles for Burt Kwouk, Paul Barrett, and Max Ryan, among others.

Fans seeking an easy action fix will find enough to enjoy here. The editing isn't perfect, by any means, but it's not as bad as it could be, and there are some good tunes accompanying the dynamic moves. Watching Li fight is immensely satisfying, and there are a couple of set-pieces here that at least try to take things a step beyond the normal, Americanised action moments. It won't make any Top 10 lists, but it's one that I've watched numerous times, and will undoubtedly watch again at some point.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-of-the-Dragon-Blu-ray/dp/B000K14LTK/ref=sr_1_4?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1405919253&sr=1-4&keywords=kiss+of+the+dragon

Down To Earth (2001)

Chris Rock stars in this remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan, a film already revisited a couple of times before this outing, with sadly underwhelming results. The material has some added jokes about race, and creates potential for some bigger laughs by making the main character a struggling stand-up comic, but it ends up falling flat far more often than it succeeds.

Rock is Lance Barton, a young, funny guy who just can't seem to transfer that humour to his stage act. Yet he keeps trying. His main venue is going to be closing soon, which makes him desperate for one last shot to win over the audience there. Unfortunately, his plans are thrown into disarray when he's hit by a truck. It's all a big mistake, which an angel named Keyes (Eugene Levy) only realises when Lance is already in heaven. While they try to resolve the situation, Lance is offered a "loaner" body by King (Chazz Palminteri), another heavenly being who seems to be in charge. That body ends up being one that belonged to a wealthy, white businessman named Charles Wellington, III (Brian Rhodes). Lance has to use the body to pursue his quest for a spot at the upcoming stand-up event, while avoiding the dangerous scheming of Wellington's wife (Jennifer Coolidge), and his assistant (Greg Germann). And things become more complicated when he falls in love with Sontee Jenkins (Regina King), who hates him.

Down To Earth is a very frustrating film to watch. You can see moments when it might be able to step up a notch or two, when it could let Chris Rock rant and make the most of his power as a comedian. Sadly, those moments do nothing more than get close to something good before sinking back down to mediocrity.

The cast includes some great performers, especially in the supporting roles. Levy and Palminteri are both great fun as the angels trying to correct a terrible mistake, Coolidge does well with her usual mix of ditzy and wannabe-sexy, and Germann works very well alongside her. Mark Addy does okay as a perplexed butler, while Wanda Sykes steals a couple of scenes as a housekeeper who does very little to hide her disdain for her employer. Even John Cho raises a smile or two, despite his role amounting to little more than a cameo. Regina King is easy to like, and Frankie Faison is very likable as the manager who continues to see the best in Lance. The weakest link, unfortunately, is Rock. He seems neutered, at best, and just stilted and awkward, for the most part.

Directors Chris and Paul Weitz don't seem to put in any effort at all, while the script (co-written by about four people, including Rock and Louis C.K.) reeks of similar laziness during the many moments that aren't comedic. The love story angle just never feels real, despite the efforts that everyone goes to in order to make viewers forget that Regina King is supposed to be enjoying time with an elderly, white businessman.

It's actually a shame that this was such a missed opportunity, a star vehicle created around someone who never seemed comfortable as a leading man. I love Chris Rock, but I don't think his style and energy work when being forced into a package like this. Thankfully, we can always revisit him in the greatness that is Osmosis Jones.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Down-Earth-Chris-Rock/dp/B00005JH9O/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1406542627&sr=1-2&keywords=down+to+earth

Vampire Academy (2014)

Marketed as being from the director of Mean Girls, Vampire Academy serves as a sobering reminder that a movie is not made by the director alone. He needs a talented team around him, including a great writer, and a decent cast. Neither of these things are present here.

The plot goes thus: Rose Hathaway (Zoey Deutch) is a sorta-vampire who protects nice vampires (in her case, it's her BFF Lissa, played by Lucy Fry) from attack by nasty vampires. They both attend the titular vampire academy, which is ruled over by headmistress Kirova (Olga Kurylenko), and Rose attempts to further her training under the watchful eye of Dimitri (Danila Kozlovsky) while Lissa tries to make life easier for both of them by using magic on those who decide to give them a hard time. And that's quite a few people, although it's hard to figure out just who is the most serious about actually causing any harm to Lissa.

I've probably made Vampire Academy sound better than it really is with that description. Or, if you think I've made it sound pretty dull, I may have got it just right. It's an unexciting, unfunny movie, the kind of tick-the-boxes stuff that makes you feel annoyed while it plays out in all of its smug glory.

Deutch is hampered by the fact that she's not Ellen Page. I'm sorry, but she looks and sounds so much like her that it's impossible to watch the film and not imagine she was the second choice for the role. Fry may not call anyone else directly to mind, but she's eminently replaceable in her role, having no great charisma that shines through. Kozlovsky at least knows that he's there to be the eye candy for the girls, both onscreen and off (I guess), which is more than can be said for the likes of Kurylenko, Gabriel Byrne and Joely Richardson. All three of the relatively bigger names appear for no other reason than to slightly embarrass themselves, although they all have the sense to take roles that don't involve a lot of screentime. Sarah Hyland is the only person who I actually liked seeing onscreen, and she somehow managed to overcome the writing that made her character development painfully obvious.

I'm unfamiliar with the source material (novels by Richelle Mead), but the screenplay by Daniel Waters just doesn't work at all. There's a mythology that already feels stale and overdone, compared to the many other vampire and Young Adult movies to come out in recent years, there's a lack of genuine wit, and there's a lack of . . . . . . . .  well, anything to make this a movie worth your time. I'm not sure how much of the script would have been left in if the director hadn't been his own brother, Mark Waters, therefore both men can share the blame for the bad final product.

It lacks style, tension, a sense of fun. Thankfully, there's just enough technical competence to make it bearable, but that's it. I'd rather rewatch Twilight, THAT'S how bad it is.

3/10

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Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects (1989)

Charles Bronson is a tough guy, once again, in this piece of sleazy nastiness from director J. Lee Thompson. Of course, Bronson was always a tough guy in pretty much everything he did so, don't worry, I'll give you a bit more about his situation this time around.

Bronson is a cop who can't seem to pin anything on horrible uber-pimp Duke (Juan Fernandez). Duke specializes in little girls for his clients, which leads to Bronson specializing in making Duke's life as difficult as possible. It's not all by the book. In fact, it's about as far from the book as you can get. The clock starts to tick faster when a Japanese businessman (James Pax) turns to the police when his young daughter is kidnapped. The distraught father also has a few peccadilloes of his own, and Bronson may not be too happy about helping him if he finds out just what he's been up to since arriving in America.

Written by Harold Nebenzal, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects is, in many ways, standard Bronson fare, yet it's also a bit different. His character is forced, albeit momentarily, to question how his mind works when he's not on the job, to consider the damage done and the huge difference between his own view of the world and the view that others can take. There are times when this creeps into territory covered by the likes of Tightrope and The Offence. And then there are times when Bronson forces someone to eat a watch.

Director J. Lee Thompson is well known for a filmography that's pretty loaded with testosterone, and he worked with Bronson on a number of movies before this one (this was their last film together), so viewers shouldn't have been TOO surprised by the end result this time around. It may have some extra unpleasantness, but it's still all about Bronson doing a good job where the system falls down.

Bronson is fine in the lead role, whether he's aggressively scaring pimps and crooks or going off on a bizarre racist rant aimed at numerous Japanese people he views as pesky interlopers, at one point. Fernandez is suitably loathsome as Duke, and Pax is, arguably, one of the more interesting characters to be placed in a movie like this. It's made clear that he's not the nicest guy ever, especially in the way that he treats his wife, but he's also not demonised for his actions, despite the one main sequence that sees him sliding from relatively harmless thoughts of his fantasties to grossly inappropriate real actions. Peggy Lipton and Amy Hathaway are just fine as the women in Bronson's life, Perry Lopez does well enough as Eddie Rios, Sy Richardson is a bad man who works with Duke, and fans of Nicole Eggert will be pleased to see her in a relatively early role.

It might leave you wanting to take a shower as the end credits roll, but this is another fine piece of Bronson-led machismo for those who like such fare. And I count myself among that demographic nowadays.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/10-Midnight-Kinjite-Charles-Bronson/dp/B008FYZIZK/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1405919498&sr=1-1&keywords=kinjite

[REC]³ Genesis (2012)

[REC]³ Genesis is a very different movie to the two that preceded it. For one thing, it soon ditches the hand-held filming style. And for another thing, it's a lot funnier. While the first decision seemed to please many fans of the films, the second proved to be highly divisive. Although I don't like the movie as much as the first two, I think that some of the humour is enjoyable enough, and this is a series that has proven to be one of the more interesting takes on the zombie subgenre in recent years. In fact, it's fair to say that it's not even about zombies (but to say any more about that would spoil some surprises, so I'll stop).

Viewers are introduced to Clara (Leticia Dolera) and Koldo (Diego Martin), a young couple about to get married and enjoy a party, surrounded by their loved ones. Many moments from the big day are being filmed by Koldo's cousin, young Adrian (Alex Monner), but the camcorder is thrown aside when the big day is interrupted by a fatal infection that zombiefies all those afflicted by it. Clara and Koldo are separated, but both have faith that they will be able to find one another again. The odds, however, are stacked against them.

Directed by Paco Plaza, who also co-wrote the movie with David Gallart and Luiso Berdejo, [REC]³ Genesis may not be a resounding success, but it's rarely uninteresting. These movies have created a new, enjoyable mythos for horror fans to sink their teeth into, and this instalment, despite the humour, at least keeps the core ideas consistent.

Dolera and Martin are decent enough leads, with the former getting the best moments in the movie, but they're not all that memorable. That would be fine if there was a mix of characters to support them, but there isn't. Monner is a kid who quickly finds himself way out of his depth, while most of the other characters are either too quirky to care about, or they're just not onscreen for that long anyway.

It gets some bonus points for brilliant use of the song "Eloise", some enjoyable chainsaw carnage, and a gag about someone dressed up as a sponge-based character insisting that he's NOT Spongebob (due to copyright issues), yet that's still not enough to raise it up to the level of the two movies that preceded it.

It's an above average film, but only just.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Rec-Genesis-Triple-Blu-ray-Horror/dp/B00B29DWXA/ref=sr_1_13?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1406008626&sr=1-13&keywords=rec

Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)

Guardians Of The Galaxy is a rare thing indeed. A blockbuster that exceeds expectations, a slick slice of comic-book entertainment that perfectly blends heart, humour, thrills, and action (and some great songs). It's like a flipped upside-down version of The Avengers, while also serving as a perfect companion piece to that ensemble piece. So let me get the plot description out of the way, and then I can start the drooling words of praise.

Chris Pratt (having a great year, thanks to both this and The Lego Movie) stars as Peter Quill. Well, he'd prefer everyone to call him Star Lord, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Peter gets himself in some trouble when he tries to steal a mysterious orb. It's wanted by a big baddie named Ronan (Lee Pace), who is working for the evil Thanos (Josh Brolin). That's why a deadly assassin named Gamora (Zoe Saldana) is sent to deal with Peter. And that's why there's a bounty on his head, that ends up interesting Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper) and Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel). There's a big fight which lands the four individuals in prison, where they meet the vengeance-seeking Drax (Dave Bautista). Unbeknownst to them, they are about to work together as a team on an adventure that will start off with them looking for riches, or vengeance, in the case of Drax, and end up with them finding . . . . . . . . . . . . . well, something else.

Worthy of the name Star Lord?

There's SO much in this movie that's just pretty perfect, it will have many viewers with a big grin on their face as the end credits roll, and repeat viewings won't dampen its appeal. It may run for about 120 minutes, but that just flies by. Very few scenes are completely extraneous, with almost every line of dialogue and every action fleshing out the motley team onscreen, showing their motivation, their fears, their courage, their humour, their very entitlement to be main characters in this big-budget film.

The script, co-written by director James Gunn and Nicole Perlman, deftly balances everything that I've already mentioned. The action beats aren't ever forgotten, but the real draw here is the fact that we can spend time with such great characters, and see them grow into their roles. And, yes, the fact that Groot basically says nothing but "I am Groot" makes for both a nice running joke and also a surprisingly effective way of establishing his closeness with Rocket, a raccoon with a sharp mind, smart mouth, and penchant for building potent weaponry at short notice.

Gunn takes the script and overlays it with assured, slick direction. He may have already gotten used to the big chair, with the likes of Slither and Super, but this is a massive step up, and viewers never once see any signs of nerves or insecurity. Which is as it should be. Gunn's instincts have been steering him right for years (yes, yes I do also love Tromeo & Juliet - his first movie as a writer - so sue me) and it seems that audiences might finally be completely receptive to his output. Okay, it's the Marvel name being sold, but it's Gunn who takes this gamble and makes it into an outright winner.

He's helped immensely by a cast full of people all on top form. Pratt, as mentioned above, is due to make 2014 HIS year. His performance here is wonderful, and I've no doubt that he'll win over lots of new fans with this role. Saldana gets another chance to be tough and sexy, and she can do that with ease, even with green skin. Cooper and Diesel may be providing voices only, and the latter may only be mostly saddled with the one sentence, but don't underestimate the great work that they do. And Dave Bautista is surprisingly good as the angry brute who has a habit of taking figures of speech literally. Pace is good enough, yet his character is a bit weak, especially when compared to other villains from the Marvel universe,and ESPECIALLY compared to big bad Thanos. I shouldn't have to check the name of the villain at IMDb while writing this review, but that's what I had to do.

"I am Groot"

The other bonus here is the supporting cast, with Gunn giving viewers an embarrassment of riches in that department. Michael Rooker is blue-skinned Yondu, the man who took Peter away from Earth when he was just a young boy, Karen Gillan is blue, bald Nebula, a woman who wants to help Ronan cause some major destruction, Benicio Del Toro is The Collector, and there are worthwhile moments for Djimon Hounsou, Glenn Close, John C. Reilly, Peter Serafinowicz, Gregg Henry, and Ophelia Lovibond. It's easy to spot the Stan Lee cameo, and there's also the usual Lloyd Kaufman cameo that we've come to expect from Mr. Gunn.

Oh, and there's that soundtrack. If you've seen any of the trailers for this movie then you'll already suspect that it has a few good tunes on the soundtrack. It does. More than that, however, is the way in which the soundtrack is almost a character in its own right. The songs are a link to the past for Peter Quill, and his precious Walkman and mix tape both hold just as much importance as the orb that so many people want to get their hands on.

I could go on and on: about how surprisingly tight the structuring is, about how many moments managed to sneak up on me and make me unexpectedly emotional (including a moment with a raccoon - yes, the damn raccoon almost gave me a lump in my throat), about the flawless visual effects throughout, about the one great gag that will fly over the heads of kids while parents laugh their asses off, about the post-credits surprise.

This is a film full of many surprising delights, with one of the best being just how many people have decided to go with the flow and help it achieve some stellar results at the box office.

9/10

Trust me, you'll want to buy this - http://www.amazon.com/Guardians-Galaxy-Blu-ray-Chris-Pratt/dp/B009NNM95Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1406851090&sr=1-1&keywords=guardians+of+the+galaxy&dpPl=1

Rolling Thunder (1977)

William Devane plays Major Charles Rane, a Vietnam veteran, in this dark thriller that mixes a tale of revenge with a look at how those accustomed to wartime conditions adjust to civilian life. He has just returned home, along with a few other men, after time spent in a POW camp. His wife (Lisa Blake Richards) is as confused as she is relieved, as he was thought dead for some time, his young son (Jordan Gerler) doesn't really recognise him, and a local policeman (Lawrason Driscoll) seems to have been filling in the space that was left vacant during his time away. While he's processing the whole situation, some bad shit goes down. It leaves the Major in a bad way, but it also gives him a new mission to embark on, something that seems to put a fire back in his belly.

Directed by John Flynn, this is a movie that sits in an area right between revenge thriller and full-on exploitation film. That's no surprise, considering that the story came from Paul Schrader (who wasn't happy with changes made to the material). He and Heywood Gould co-wrote the screenplay, which is as dark and angry as you'd expect. Yet, for all the pain and darkness on display, much of the movie focuses on the readjustment that many must struggle with after various experiences in wartime. The revenge aspect of the movie may be nicely interwoven throughout the majority of the movie, but it's also almost secondary for many scenes, with viewers being given the time and opportunity to think more about what is going through the mind of Major Rane than just how satisfying revenge could be.

Devane is fantastic in the lead role. I've always been a fan of the man, and this is one of his finest lead performances. A relatively young Tommy Lee Jones also does a great job, portraying a fellow soldier equally lost when dropped back into civilian life. Richards, Gerler and Driscoll all do decent work, but it's Luke Askew and James Best who make the best impression by exemplifying the worst in human nature. They, and a few others helping them out, provide Devane with a goal to reach. Linda Haynes brightens up the screen, playing a young girl who has a crush on the Major, and who ends up helping him in his quest.

Rolling Thunder remains a very interesting movie because of the way it manages to take the darker material, and themes explored, and still package everything in a pretty slick piece of satisfying entertainment. It's not the easiest viewing experience that you will have, but it's certainly put together in a way that allows it to reach a wider audience. It's an unrelentingly grim film that doesn't feel unrelentingly grim, which is quite an achievement. Personally, I feel that a lot of that end result is thanks to the winning performance from Devane. Others may disagree, and that's absolutely fine. I will simply stalk them and glower at every opportunity.

7/10

The Region B disc is, as far as I can tell, the best option - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rolling-Thunder-Double-Play-Blu-ray/dp/B004OQJS5O/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1405101898&sr=1-1&keywords=rolling+thunder

Terminal Invasion (2002)

Terminal Invasion is not the kind of movie that you'll be likely to hold in high regard. It's no great piece of film-making. Yet it's still an enjoyable enough slice of fun, thanks to the brisk pacing, a lack of pretension, and Bruce Campbell in the lead role.

Campbell plays Jack, a prisoner who ends up in a tiny airport with two officers guarding him closely. One trip to the gents later, everything gets a bit strange and dangerous. People are dead, and Jack is the one being blamed by the other people in the airport, including the security guard. It turns out that the killer was an alien, and it may not be the only one in the airport. Jack tries to convince others of the danger that they're in, but if they don't want to believe him then he'll do whatever it takes to break free and make sure that the one pilot in their midst (Chase Masterson) flies him all the way to another country.

Directed by Sean S. Cunninghman, the man perhaps best described as part horror maestro and part carnival barker, this is standard b-movie fun, trying to overcome its low budget with the charisma of Campbell and the potential fun of the premise. It's hard to believe that it took three people to write the script (Lewis Abernathy, John Jarrell and Robinson Young), but it's not as flat and lifeless as many other TV movies of this ilk.

A large part of that, however, is all down to Campbell, who has cornered the b-movie market in smartass, cool anti-heroes. Masterson makes for a decent partner, as the bizarre reality of the situation becomes clear, and Kedar Brown and Sarah Lafleur also do pretty good work. Jason Jones, one of the more recognisable faces in the supporting cast, is onscreen for a little while, and he's the only other one to make a decent impression. Andrew Tarbet, C. David Johnson, Marcia Bennett, and others populate the story without ever feeling like more than stock characters/fodder for the dangerous alien.

There are attempts made to keep viewers on their toes, each one being either too predictable or too laughably silly to work. Still, I appreciate the effort. It may be nothing more than an average film, when all of the pros and cons are weighed up, but it could have been much worse.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Terminal-Invasion-Bruce-Campbell/dp/B001KEGR5W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405626342&sr=8-1&keywords=terminal+invasion

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Co-written and co-directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson, All Cheerleaders Die is a chance for the guys to remake/rework a concept that they first delivered to audiences back in 2001. I haven't seen the original version so I can't comment on how closely this follows it, but I'm happy that this movie is here. It's a lot of fun, reminiscent of Jennifer's Body, with a little bit of The Craft and Heroes added to the mix.

The story starts with a young woman, Maddy (Caitlin Stasey), infiltrating the world of the cheerleaders as she puts together what seems to be some kind of documentary/promo piece about their lives. When tragedy strikes, and I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying that a cheerleader dies, then Maddie ends up taking the plunge herself and applying to join the squad. It's all part of her plan to cause no small amount of upset, but her plan is scuppered when more deaths occur. Thankfully, a young witch (Leena, played by Sianoa Smit-Mcphee) is able to help out. But witchcraft isn't an exact science.

It may not have a script full of sassy one-liners, and it may not be as fast-moving as some may like, but I really had fun with this film. The humour stems from the fact that a bunch of cheerleaders end up being quite dangerous and powerful, completely by accident. They would, if it wasn't for Maddy, just get right back to their usual high school routine, which involved bitching about others, trying to get through classes with minimal effort, and fending off potential rapists.

McKee and Sivertson don't exactly twist genre conventions, but they mix things up in a way that makes everything a bit different from the norm, while also providing enough standard goodies for fans (there are some decent moments of bloodshed and, hey, the main characters are attractive cheerleaders - call me shallow, but I was happy throughout most of the movie).

Unfortunately, the main characters aren't all that strong. Stasey and Smit-McPhee both do well, setting themselves apart from the main crowd in their very first scenes, but Amanda Grace Cooper, Brooke Butler, Leigh Parker and Reanin Johannink all blur into one cheerleading mass. They're supposed to be that way, understandably, and their characters are allowed to develop slightly in the second half of the movie, but it still doesn't help viewers to fully engage with the unfolding events. Tom Williamson, playing Terry Stankus, stands out from the boys who are onscreen, mainly because he's the worst of the jocks, in ways that become clearer with each scene that he's in.

Perhaps suffering from a bit of an identity crisis (ironically enough, considering the fate of two main characters - see the film and you'll know what I mean), I still ended up enjoying All Cheerleaders Die, probably because I had no idea what to expect on the way in. I know some other people who have enjoyed it as much as I did, but I've also seen a lot of people thoroughly dislike it. I still recommend it anyway. If you hate it then it's only 90 minutes long. If you love it, well, you can thank me later.

7/10

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Sin Sisters (2003)

It's always so easy to write reviews of any movie starring erotic movie star Misty Mundae (AKA Erin Brown). They all, unsurprisingly, follow a similiar pattern. Have a plot that is as slim as it is ridiculous, and then throw some sexy sexy footage onscreen every few minutes. The plot for Sin Sisters may not be quite as slim as the usual fare that Misty Mundae has starred in, but it's still nothing worth watching if you're after anything actually worthy of being called a movie. Of course, nobody watches these things for the plot and character development.

Misty and her sister, Chelsea Mundae, play the sisters of the title. They spend their time lounging by the pool, competing for the attention of men by getting nekkid and having sexy times, and then going to school/college/where they make time to have sexy times. There's a slight interruption to all of the sexy times when Misty kills a rival, Beth (Andrea Davis), and Misty and Chelsea then have to put her body in the trunk of a car and find a place to dump it. Not to fear, the sisters soon meet Juli (Julian Wells) in the middle of nowhere, and she soon forces them to have more sexy times. Some secrets are revealed, in an attempt to make the plot seem smarter than usual for this kind of movie, and more flesh is put on display. And that's it.

Okay, okay, I know that I am not the target audience for this type of thing (well, I AM a heterosexual male so I guess I AM the target audience, in some ways), but I just can't see the appeal of any Misty Mundae movie that I've seen so far, beyond the obvious. The starlet herself is kinda cute, and there are other women onscreen who aren't too unattractive either, but almost everything else is so horrible that it feels as if it's designed to drive viewers crazy while they wait for the sex scenes to start. Or do they always assume that every viewer is just going to fast forward through the movie until they see some naked flesh appear? I guess that's a distinct possibility.

Writer-director Tony Marsiglia must have laughed his ass off whenever he started to make money from these movies, because I have no doubt that he made some money. There's an annoying soundtrack throughout, camerawork that's barely competent, plenty lame lines of dialogue in the script, and, worst of all, not even that much sexiness during the moments that are supposed to be sexy.

I know that people will read this and think "Kevin, you dumbass, you can't rate softcore/erotic movies in the same way that you rate standard movies" and I completely understand that. I disliked Sin Sisters (and many films like it) because of a lack of anything that was actually sexy. It has nudity, it has women having sex with either themselves or other women, but nudity and sex aren't automatically sexy. With the way it fails to do anything else, sexy is the only thing this is supposed to have going for it. 

Only recommended for the very, very easily pleased. And teenagers who don't have the internet.

3/10

 

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Lethal Weapon (1987)

Does Lethal Weapon NEED any introduction? I really don't think so. THE buddy cop movie by which all others ended up being measured, this was the film to put Danny Glover and Mel Gibson together with highly entertaining, and explosive, results.

I'll briefly surmise the plot. Mel plays Martin Riggs, a suicidal cop who lives for his job. Danny Glover is Roger Murtaugh, a 50-year-old cop who just wants to keep doing his job well while avoiding any of the downsides of the job, like bullet wounds or premature death. The two men are partnered up together, and it's not long until the case that they're working on places both of them in great danger.

With solid direction from Richard Donner, despite a flurried final fight sequence, and a cracking script from Shane Black, Lethal Weapon is everything that you should love about '80s action movies. All of the cliches are in place, although they weren't necessarily cliches when the movie was released, and every element is added to the movie without any hint of shame. The saxophone popping up all over the soundtrack, the troubled hero, the moment at which it all becomes personal, the mad villainous henchman played by Gary Busey. Admittedly, that last part isn't a cliche. It's just a masterstroke.

After attaining iconic status with his leading role in the Mad Max movies, Gibson finds himself in the enviable position of being able to have fun with another character quickly embraced by, and absorbed into, the pop culture of the time. Glover is in the same position, thankfully, as both men have their fair share of great moments. Lethal Weapon benefits from a central pairing so perfect that one man cannot shine without the other. But it's not JUST all about the men, oh no. It may seem that way, yet Traci Wolfe and Darlene Love also get to make a great impression as, respectively, Mrs Trish Murtaugh and daughter Rianne. Mary Ellen Trainor also pops up as a psychologist, a character she would reprise in the sequels, and she'd even gain an actual name in the third movie. Tom Atkins appears briefly, lending some Atkins greatness to the proceedings, Mitch Ryan is a bad man, and Busey is the REAL, and more entertaining, bad man. Well, he's the one who thinks himself capable of facing off against Gibson's character, which makes him highly dangerous.

Full of great moments, that are deservedly remembered with fondness, and great characters, Lethal Weapon endures, despite the fluffiness of Gibson's oh-so-eighties hair and the potential to teeter into all-out ridiculousness, because of the chemistry between everyone onscreen, be it Riggs and Murtaugh, the goodies and the baddies, or even the warmth between Murtaugh and his loving family. A classic of the genre.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Lethal-Weapon-Collection-Blu-ray/dp/B0079KGAOY/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1405112139&sr=1-2&keywords=lethal+weapon

Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

John Jarratt returns to the role of deadly Mick Taylor in this enjoyable sequel to Wolf Creek, but fans of the first movie should be warned ahead of time that this is quite a different beast, in some ways. The subtlety and slow burn of the first movie are gone, replaced with some grand guignol and entertaining outrageousness.

There's very little plot to speak of. Taylor is driving through the outback, looking for the opportunity to have his own particular brand of fun whenever he spots potential victims. He kills some people, and then finds things a bit more challenging when he sets his sights on a young man (Paul, played by Ryan Orr) who finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Once again written and directed by Greg Mclean (with Aaron Sterns joining in as co-writer this time), it's made clear from the opening scenes that viewers are in for a very different ride. Wolf Creek was interested in the victims, and the growing horror of realising just how alone and vulnerable people can be while travelling in any foreign land, whereas the sequel is all about Mick. He's not necessarily turned into a figure of fun, but he's certainly always entertaining while he goes about his nastiness.

Jarratt is great, as anyone would expect after seeing his performance in the first movie, and Ryan Orr is likable enough as the potential victim. There are other people who come in and out of the movie, but the main thrust of the film centres on Jarratt and Orr, and it works because of the way in which the two different personalities seem to spend so much time toying with one another.

Some people have preferred this to the first movie, and it's easy to see why. It's not as slow, there's plenty of blood 'n' guts on display, and it's just a more fun experience, overall. However, I felt punched in the gut a few times while watching Wolf Creek, and that's something I'll always give it extra credit for. This sequel may be more in line with full-on slasher movies, making it easier to be entertained by, but that means that it feels more generic and "safe" than the first movie. Which is a shame.

This is certainly worth your time, and I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't look forward to a third trip to the creek.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Wolf-Creek-DVD-Combo-Blu-ray/dp/B00J0IQISG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1405644168&sr=8-2&keywords=wolf+creek+2

Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014)

Feel free to check out my overview of the other Transformers movies right here.

And so we get to the fourth live-action Transformers movie from director Michael Bay, and anyone believing that this outing will be oh-so-different from his previous outings may well find themselves angry at being suckered once again as the end credits roll. Of course, those knowing exactly what they're letting themselves in for should come out smiling. I'm not saying that anyone WILL believe that this robo-flick is going to be any different from the others. I'm just giving fair warning.

Set some years after the events of the last movie, both Autobots and Decepticons are being treated as hostile aliens by shady government types (namely Kelsey Grammer and his right hand man, played by Titus Welliver). They're also being researched by Stanley Tucci and his many workers, in an attempt to make the best use of that incredible technology, and to make lots of money. Meanwhile, Mark Wahlberg is an inventor who hasn't made any breakthrough in the years that he's spent chasing his dream, leaving him with a seriously unhealthy bank balance and a seriously exasperated daughter (Nicola Peltz). All that looks set to change when he finds a run-down truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime, bringing the potential for great reward, and also great danger.

Love or hate the guy, and so many fall into the latter camp, it's hard to think of anyone who does BIG action set-pieces as well as Michael Bay. Why choreograph a fight between some robots when you can choreograph it in mid-air while the robots are transforming to overcome obstacles? Why put your main characters in some mild peril when you can put them through some physics-defying trauma that works the stunt performers and FX team to way beyond normal? Bay always thinks big, which is why these movies work well, for most of the time.

I've enjoyed all of the Transformers films, to some degree, because they all supply what I want to see, when it comes to large robots battling one another and transforming in cool ways. Ehren Kruger, back on the script-writing duties here, doesn't fix a formula that ain't broke. The human characters are still pretty thin, although Grammer, Welliver and Tucci all fare much better than John Turturro did in the previous movies, and the focus is on the spectacular set-pieces, as it should be.

Wahlberg isn't too bad in the main role, it's just a shame that the inventor side of his character is overshadowed by the single dad side. He's over-protective of Peltz, and that becomes more noticeable when they're joined by her boyfriend (Jack Reynor). Oh, and Reynor is playing an Irish lad for no discernible reason that I can think of, apart from allowing Wahlberg to then call him "Lucky Charms" throughout the movie. Seriously, either allow the guy to use his own accent or get, hmmmm, an Irish actor. T.J. Miller is good fun in a small role, Binbing Li gets to kick some ass, and Sophia Myles is underused, but always worth having in any movie, in my opinion (dear Hollywood, put Sophia Myles in more movies).

Optimus Prime is meaner than he has been previously, with good reason, and he's joined by Bumblebee, Hound, Drift, Crosshairs and Brains in his latest battle with Galvatron (essentially Megatron in a different guise), all while avoiding the attention of a robo-bounty hunter named Lockdown. Yeah, most of these names mean very little to me either, but I thought I'd mention some of the main robo-characters for fans who know much more about this universe than I do. And there are dinobots. How could I almost forget to mention the glorious dinobots? They may not get too much time on screen, about 15 minutes at most, but they're pretty damn impressive when they appear.

There are moments in which things pitch over into the ridiculous, including a high-wire sequence that proves that Wahlberg may be the most well-balanced man on the planet, literally, but this is a movie that's never too far away from another fantastic bit of eye-candy or impressive stunt work, or both. It's a bit overlong, at over two and a half hours (the longest entry in the series), but it's almost perfectly paced, meaning that it doesn't overstay its welcome. Well, not by too much.

And there are dinobots.

7/10

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Almost Human (2013)

Oh well, it happens every now and again. Probably quite often, if I'm entirely honest. A movie will come along that lots of people rave about, and I just end up wondering why it managed to garner so much praise. Almost Human is a film that you may have heard about already, especially if you're a horror fan. It's a low-budget, independent, sci-fi horror that went down well at numerous festivals during the last year or so. And it just didn't do anything for me.

The plot pilfers from a great variety of titles (the filmography of John Carpenter, the superb Xtro, any "body snatchers" flick) as Mark (Josh Ethier) is rudely interrupted at his home one evening by a panicked Seth (Graham Skipper). Seth has lost one friend already that evening, and wants to find somewhere safe. He's rambling about something implausible when a loud noise causes them some discomfort. Then Mark goes outside and disappears. Two years later, Mark returns. Which doesn't bode well for Seth, Jen (who was Mark's girlfriend at the time), or anyone else in the immediate vicinity.

Written and directed by Joe Begos, I won't deny that there's some good stuff here, considering the small budget that he was working with. However, a small budget is no excuse for such a slim viewing experience, a movie that seems to overstay its welcome by a good 20 minutes or so, despite not being that long in the first place.

The script is weak, the acting is in line with the script (Vanessa Leigh, who plays Jen, and Skipper have some moments that are better than others, but they don't do enough to earn their sizable amount of screentime), and the homages start to pile up so thick and fast that viewers may, as I did, just start to wish that they're revisited one of the many classics referenced instead.

A weak script and weak acting isn't something that puts me off a horror movie though. Let's face it, we horror fans are used to such things, and they sometimes make the movies more enjoyable. If the movie had enough elsewhere to compensate then all would have been fine. Some tension can be a bonus, as can some good gore. And let's not underestimate the redemptive power of some gratuitous nudity. Almost Human can't even deliver the goods in those departments. Others have praised the practical effects, but they left me cold because a) they weren't THAT good (although, admittedly, they were good for the budget) and b) there weren't that many of them to enjoy. Of course, with so many people disagreeing on that point, you may as well be safe to assume that I'm in the wrong. But don't say you weren't warned IF you end up left as cold as I was.

It's a tough call. I'm glad that Begos made this movie, and made it in the way that he did. He shows potential, despite the many flaws that stack up during the film. Yet I still can't say that I actually liked it, and I don't think I would even be able to label it as average. Some moments bored me, some moments irritated me, and very few moments actually entertained me.

4/10 

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The Battered Bastards Of Baseball (2014)

You may know Bing Russell as a hard-working actor, arguably most famous for his recurring role in Bonanza, playing Deputy Clem Foster. Or you may know him as the father of a fine actor named Kurt. If you're a baseball fan, or hail from Portland, Oregon, then you may even know him as someone who caused a bit of a ripple, to put it mildly, through the world of baseball in the 1970s. I was, sadly, unaware of Russell, other than his connection to Kurt, but this documentary has made me into a big fan of the guy.

It's a story of a kind that has been turned into movies on more than one occasion. The story of a man (Russell) who loves his chosen sport - baseball - and continues to love it, even after injury puts an end to his potential career. Over the years he sees the sport being worn away, eroded by the quest for the almighty dollar. Independent teams start to die off, with every single one of them turning to a bigger name, a major team that will keep the smaller teams around simply to pick up the great talents that appear every so often. Russell saw an opportunity, and opportunity that everyone else sneered at, and he took it. He created an independent baseball team - The Portland Mavericks - at a time when a) no other independent teams were around, and b) Portland had fallen out of love with baseball. What's more, he created a team that started to win. It started to win and it started to remind people of how much fun could be had from a day out at the big game. Of course, this soon saw him marked out as a threat to the status quo.

Directors Chapman Way and Maclain Way take this golden story, illustrate numerous moments with archive footage and talking heads interviews (including people who played in the team, sports commentators who watched everything unfold, and Kurt, of course), and let viewers gradually warm up to the optimistic, perhaps slightly naive (though no less wonderful), fairytale that played out in the most unlikely of environments. IF this was a movie (and I think I've already heard whispers of it being turned into one) then you might roll your eyes, laugh at some of the cliches, yet still enjoy yourself. The fact that it's real allows you to revel in just how great life can be at times, and to enjoy the whole thing with the same degree of optimism, as you start to see Russell and his team defy the odds again and again, seemingly at every turn.

Trust me, even if you hate baseball, or are pretty ignorant of it (as I am, being a Brit who doesn't tend to watch many sports anyway) then you will still be able to love this documentary. It's such a fantastic tale that all but the most hard-hearted of viewers will spend most of the runtime with a large grin stuck on their face. This is well worth your time. A real . . . . . . . . wait for it . . . . . . . diamond in the rough, as it were. Thank you, I'm here all week.

9/10

The documentary is only available at Netflix just now, so enjoy some more Russell-related sports with Touchback - http://www.amazon.com/Touchback-Blu-ray-DVD/dp/B0092HW8OI/ref=sr_1_2_bnp_1_blu?ie=UTF8&qid=1405636062&sr=8-2&keywords=kurt+russell+touchback

Alien Tornado AKA Tornado Warning (2012)

Why do I keep doing it to myself? Why, why, why? I saw the title, Alien Tornado, and I thought that I might end up enjoying this in the same way that I've enjoyed many other disaster movies and creature features shown on the SyFy Channel. I'm an easily pleased kind of guy, so it probably wouldn't be THAT painful. How wrong I was.

Alien Tornado is yet another made-for-TV movie that tells you exactly what it's all about in the title. Aliens invade Earth, attacking the planet while hidden in tornadoes. That's it. Which means that you get the usual style for this type of movie - a shaking camera, some poor CGI causing destruction, some strained moments between characters that it's hard to care about - with less of the fun factor than usual.

Jeff Fahey is the grizzled father who ends up losing plenty to an unexpected tornado, and Stacey Asaro is his daughter, a young woman who is desperate to get out of the small town and start her life in a big city. Kari Wuhrer is Gail Curtis, a weather expert who ends up heading to the small town where all the activity is occurring, and bumping heads with Fahey.

Director Jeff Burr does nothing to liven up the proceedings, and Paul A. Birkett seems intent on providing the worst script that he possibly can. Birkett has a number of these TV-movies under his belt, and can do better than this, so it feels very much that he (or someone else) thought up a premise that he was then unable to flesh out into a full feature. The characters are even less interesting than the usual carboard cut-outs that can populate such fare, and the tornadoes never feel like an impressive force of evil . . . . . . . . . . . because they're tornadoes, alien or not.

Fahey and Wuhrer have a number of awful movies in their filmography by now, yet this remains a low point for both of them. Asaro actually doesn't come over too badly. Hopefully, she can keep working hard until she drags herself further up the ladder. Willard E. Pugh does his best in the role of the local law enforcement, and David Jensen and Marcus Lyle Brown are a couple of shady characters working for an agency that knows a bit more about the tornadoes than it's willing to let the public know.

There's a beginning, middle, and end here, but the fact that absolutely nothing exciting happens during any section of the movie turns the whole thing into one long, boring mess. Even the poor dialogue that would usually give me a few chuckles seemed intent on putting me to sleep. The only thing saving this from being completely unwatchable is the cast, and that's me being charitable (because, let's face it, they're not working at the top of their game).

Avoid. If this appears on your TV at any point then turn off the TV immediately. If you're not quick enough, if one or two scenes pollute your brain before you can grab the remote control, then smash the screen, burn the whole thing, have a priest exorcise your living room, and then move house. Alternatively, change the channel and never speak of it again.

2/10

http://www.amazon.com/Tornado-Warning-Blu-ray-Stacey-Asaro/dp/B00AX0MDUM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1405453459&sr=8-2&keywords=alien+tornado

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

After an interesting, and spooky, prologue, Insidious: Chapter 2 gets straight down to business by continuing on from the events at the end of the first movie. Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai Lambert (Rose Byrne) have their son back, after rescuing him from supernatural entities, and everyone hopes that things will get back to normal. But that's just not going to happen. There's a murder to be investigated, and there are also some strange things still happening to the family. Renai is at the end of her rope, Josh doesn't want to believe that anything else will try to harm them, and granny Lambert (Lorraine, played by Barbara Hershey) eventually pieces enough together to re-enlist the paranormal investigators, Specs (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson).

James Wan returns to direct, and Whannell once again multi-tasks as he acts onscreen after completing his duty as the writer of the screenplay. The two work well together, creating horrors that mix atmospheric moments with jump scares and unnerving imagery. Still, if you didn't like the first movie then you're not going to like this sequel. It's more of the same, and even reworks a few scenes in a nice wrinkle added to the standard paranormal activity.

The cast do what's asked of them, but the acting on display here isn't really the best that you'll see. Mind you, it's pretty good stuff compared to what viewers CAN be made to endure within the horror genre. Wilson has some fun, Byrne does well while not being allowed to relax for a minute (spending the entire movie with frayed nerves, bless her), and Hershey is good enough to help make the weaker moments work. Whannell and Sampson will annoy everyone who was annoyed by them the first time around, but I enjoyed the comic relief that they provided. Lin Shaye gets to return, playing Elise Rainier, albeit a changed version of her. Although she's not onscreen for that long, her character is shown to be, arguably, the most important one caught up in the whole situation. Steve Coulter is a new addition to the team, playing another paranormal investigator named Carl, and he does well with his role, particularly in a tense scene that sees him challenged over his method of divining results.

Perhaps not quite good, or intense, enough for more experienced horror fans, the Insidious movies definitely contain enough thrills and chills to scare plenty of money out of mainstream audiences. While I can see flaws in both movies, I must admit that I'm happier to see a film like this succeed than yet another remake of some '80s movie that someone erroneously thinks needs a big dollop of CGI to improve it. There are some big plot points here that will either please or turn off viewers, but you have to give the film-makers some credit for trying to twist the material into something a bit more interesting and unique. Okay, you don't HAVE to give them credit. But I do.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Insidious-2-Blu-ray/dp/B00FG5L2OC/ref=tmm_blu_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1405227344&sr=8-2