Shudder Saturday: The Exorcism (2024)

Co-written and directed by Joshua John Miller, it's worth starting any review of The Exorcism by reminding people of who Joshua John Miller is. He's many things, including an actor, writer, and director. But, and it's most important in relation to this movie, he's also a son of Jason "Father Karras in The Exorcist" Miller. That's most important here because The Exorcism is very much in dialogue with The Exorcist. You could even consider one as an attempt to exorcise the spirits of the other, but maybe that's overthinking things.

Russell Crowe plays Anthony Miller, an actor trying to keep himself in order as he portrays a priest in a horror movie about an exorcism. The film is called The Georgetown Project, and it bears a major resemblance to the landmark horror film famously filmed in that area (although that film is namechecked, which means we're in a world in which that film already exists). Miller is trying to stay away from alcohol, trying to stay connected to his daughter, Lee (Ryan Simpkins), and trying not to be too disorientated by the content of the film, especially while the director (Adam Goldberg) keeps pushing him to tap into uncomfortable memories of abuse and pain.

The last time I watched Russell Crowe get involved with some demon-wrestling exorcisms was when I watched The Pope’s Exorcist. That film was fun, and Crowe seemed to be having a lot of fun in the lead role. This film is the polar opposite of that. Crowe isn’t having fun, and neither are viewers. 

Alongside Crowe and Simpkins are a great mix of players who all deserve better. David Hyde Pierce gets to utter dialogue that his most famous sitcom creation would justifiably ridicule, Goldberg is a cartoon depiction of an angry star director, Chloe Bailey doesn’t get enough to do, and there are irrelevant amounts of screentime for Adrian Pasdar and Sam Worthington. Simpkins probably fares the best, mainly because she’s at the heart of the drama without having to do all of the contorting and snarling that Crowe delivers.

Miller has done good work before this, and I am sure he will do something else worth my time sometime in the future, but this is truly dire. Maybe directing isn’t his strong suit, especially when you consider that this is only the second feature he has helmed in twenty five years. M. A. Fortin doesn’t help in his co-writing role either, despite being a long-term collaborator with Miller, which makes me think the biggest problem here stems from someone wrestling with a project that they cannot view with any objectivity. Miller is the reason this exists, and he is the reason that it collapses like an underbaked soufflé.

Although it’s all put together with the level of technical competence and polish that the budget allows, The Exorcism still manages to sink to the bottom of the 2024 horror movie barrel. And I can only hope that it stays there, perhaps pinned under anything else that we can send down there to ensure it doesn’t try to float back to the top.

2/10

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Near Dark (1987)

Near Dark is a revisionist vampire movie from director Kathryn Bigelow, who also co-wrote the script with Eric Red, that didn't really do as well as it should have upon its initial release for one main reason*. The Lost Boys. I have made peace with the fact that I love both movies, but back in 1987 it was The Lost Boys that had the mass appeal, that quickly wormed its way into the popular culture of that generation (thanks to the hot stars and the cracking soundtrack) and that ruled the box office roost. Thankfully, Near Dark never disappeared, thanks to a small, loyal fanbase that would continue to recommend the film to those who had missed it while being dazzled by Keifer Sutherland and Jason Patric.

A small, loyal fanbase, however, can only do so much for any movie. What ends up gaining a film a cult following is usually one thing, it's really quite a good film. Okay, there are also terrible films that gain cult followings so there are two things. The film has to either be really good or really bad. Near Dark is really good. REALLY good.

It starts off with a young man named Caleb (Adrian Pasdar) picking up a lovely young woman named Mae (Jenny Wright). Enjoying the company as he drives Mae home, Caleb then tries his luck for a kiss. He stops and won't go any further. Mae ends up biting Caleb, and then things get strange and dangerous as Caleb gets pulled into Mae's "family", a group of vampires who initially consider just killing Caleb but then decide to give him a chance. IF he makes his first kill within the allotted time limit then he will join them. If not, he'll be killed. Confused, ill, repulsed and worried, Caleb just wants to get home.

With an absolutely fantastic cast (many of whom helpfully taken from the cast of Aliens), a nice mix of vampire genre elements with some Western tropes and an aesthetic arguably unmatched by anything else in Kathryn Bigelow's impressive filmography, Near Dark is an easy film to recommend to horror fans after something that reeks of quality. A lush score from Tangerine Dream, and other musical treats such as a cover of "Fever" by The Cramps, as well as a script full of some fine one-liners makes this just as pleasurable for the ears as the eyes. The film takes its time in between the memorable set-pieces and there are one or two ideas that may not sit well with those who like things a bit more traditional, but neither of those things bothered me at all.

Pasdar and Wright are easy to like as the ill-fated lovers. Lance Henriksen and Jenette Goldstein are both at their best in their sorta-parental roles, Jesse and Diamondback, respectively. Bill Paxton puts his shit-eating grin (sorry, I can't think of a more appropriate phrase in this instance) to its best use as the obnoxious and dangerous Severen and young Joshua John Miller proves constantly fascinating as the young boy, Homer, with mood swings varying between a need for childish companionship and a thirst for blood. Tim Thomerson (who will always be Jack Deth to me and so many others) plays the concerned father of Caleb and Troy Evans has a very small role as an undercover policeman.

At the end of the day, this is the most important thing to remember: it's okay for you to own, and love, The Lost Boys. But you should really leave room on a shelf for Near Dark too.

9/10

*There WERE other reasons, but the simplistic approach suits my simple mind.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Near-Dark-Disc-Special-Edition/dp/B000KRNMQM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369771634&sr=8-1&keywords=near+dark