The Last Voyage Of The Demeter (2023)

Based on one specific chapter from Dracula, this is an old-fashioned horror movie that makes great use of modern effects to depict, and enhance, a classic bit of text. Directed by André Øvredal, who is yet to helm a real stinker in his filmography, it's as easy to appreciate and enjoy this as it is to, sadly, see why it failed to find a big audience.

Corey Hawkins plays Clemens, a man who ends up getting himself hired as a crew member on the Demeter. Captain Eliot (Liam Cunningham) is a fair taskmaster, but he soon finds himself overwhelmed by numerous incidents that make everyone suspect their voyage may be cloaked in misfortune. It may well have something to do with their mysterious cargo, which won't be a surprise to anyone familiar with the source material.

Despite the inherent limitations of the source material (meaning the film takes place mainly in one location and with a fairly limited cast of characters), The Last Voyage Of The Demeter manages to come up with a number of inventive and entertaining ways to wander through very familiar territory. Writers Bragi F. Schut and Zak Olkewicz have less consistency than Øvredal, but they seem to work together well on something that approaches the trappings of the vampire movie with an impressive sense of reverence and earnestness.

While the cast are a mixed bag (I don't want to spend too much time discussing the accent work by David Dastmalchian, nor do I want to try to list those who play the more forgettable characters), the leads are excellent. Hawkins is the right person to carry this on his shoulders, especially when he can occasionally share the burden with Cunningham, Aisling Franciosi does very good work as a stowaway who knows the danger of the "cargo" being transported, and Javier Botet delivers yet another physical performance under heavy make up that puts him right alongside Doug Jones when it comes to being able to bring supernatural beings to life in solid humanoid form.

The runtime may be a touch too long, as the runtime clocks in at just under the 2-hour mark, but there's plenty to enjoy here, from start to finish. There's wonderful music from Bear McCreary, gorgeous cinematography from Tom Stern (although I did thing things a bit hard to see in a finale that sets everything in the middle of a dark and foggy area of the sea . . . but maybe that's more to do with my ageing eyes than the professionals working to create the visuals), and beautiful design work throughout every department, from sound to wardrobe, and everything in between.

It's far from perfect, especially when the screen has too many characters that aren't really memorable enough to do more than add to the bodycount, but this is an enjoyable and surprisingly bloody little film that makes good use of modern movie-making techniques to deliver something comfortably old-fashioned at heart, yet garnished with some impressive effects and bloodshed. Not recommended for the impatient, but tentatively recommended for vampire movie fans.

7/10

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Prime Time: Samaritan (2022)

There was a time when a city had a hero, Samaritan, but those times are gone. Samaritan and his brother, a nemesis named . . . Nemesis, disappeared after a lengthy battle. Both were presumed dead. But young Sam Cleary (Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton) thinks at least one of them survived, and he thinks it is an old man who lives in the building just across from him. As that old man, Joe, is played by Sylvester Stallone, he might be right. Will Samaritan return, and will he deal with the new threat (Cyrus, played by Pilou Asbæk) that the city is facing?

I could have worked a bit more on that summary, but that would require more effort than the writer of the film put into the plotting. I have enjoyed some previous work from Bragi F. Schut (mainly the Escape Room movie), but this is bad. And it’s bad from start to finish, despite having a few scenes between young Sam and old Joe that show promise.

Director Julius Avery entertained me with the excellent Overlord a few years ago so I know that he can so great work. He can keep viewers grounded, in terms of geography and timing. You wouldn’t know that from this film. Scenes go by that could be indicating minutes, hours, or days, and the locations could be almost next door to one another or in opposite sides of the country (the only exceptions being Sam’s apartment and Joe’s apartment). And my summary of the film? It is depicted in animated form at the very start of the movie. 

A couple of things work, mainly the cast and a few decent fight scenes, but this is a superhero movie that thinks it is slyly subverting the superhero movie, and it really isn’t. If you haven’t spotted the third act moment being set up from the very opening moments then I don’t know what to tell you, but I saw it coming a mile away. The fact that the film allows it to play out as if it is a major bombshell ends up undermining it, and undermining the whole film. It doesn’t help that it is followed by a flashback with some of the worst de-aging FX work I have seen in a mainstream film.

Stallone is as good as you would expect in the role, his performance helped by the fact that he is an elderly man who could still beat up most of us with one hand tied behind his back. Walton is fine, even if he is credited with the middle name ‘Wanna’, but his character is sorely underwritten, and surprisingly hard to root for at times. Dascha Polanco is perfectly fine, playing the mother of Walton’s character, and various minor goodies and baddies are suitably portrayed by Moises Arias, Jared Odrick, Sophia Tatum, Abraham Clinkscales, and Shameik Moore. Asbæk is the highlight, however, and he manages to lift the movie slightly with every one of his scenes, seeming to revel in the experience of playing the kind of charismatic and deadly villain you could slot into pretty much every action thriller from the 1980s onwards.

There are one or two ideas here that make the appeal of the movie obvious, with everyone involve probably thinking they would get to have their cake and eat it, starring in a superhero movie that tried to be a step removed from other superhero movies. Sadly, those ideas are either under-developed or worthless, especially when couched in a feature that is so flat and consistently lazy. There’s not one aspect that deserves extra praise, from the score to the wardrobe, from production design to the effects, and I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone. Just watch Mystery Men instead. Or Super. Or Defendor. Or one of many other movies that twists some of the superhero movie tropes.

3/10

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Escape Room (2019)

At last. After seeing the 2017 Escape Room,  I finally got around to this one. I wanted some puzzles, some devious deathtraps, and a cast of characters who would work together, but also be morally shady enough to try cutting and running when the sense of self-preservation outweighed the team spirit. And I am happy to say that Escape Room delivered exactly what I wanted.

It doesn't take long to put together the six main characters who are about to attempt the escape. Danny is the expert at escaping, having managed to overcome many previous challenges. Mike is looking forward to a fun experience that may lead to a boost in his finances. Amanda is a young war veteran. Jason is a successful businessman used to getting his own way. Ben is a bit aimless. And then there's Zoey, a quiet young woman who is the smartest of the group, which will work in their favour if they just listen to her often enough. They all think that it's going to be a standard escape room experience, with the added incentive of a cash prize. We know different, of course, because this is a horror movie. We also know that it's unlikely that everyone will make it to the end.

Directed by Adam Robitel (who did solid work on Insidious: The Last Key and impressed horror fans with his first feature, The Taking Of Deborah Logan), this is a film that knows exactly how things should be played, for better or for worse. The script, by Bragi F. Schut and Maria Melnik, is constantly checking things off a list that viewers will be familiar with (character backstories, potential connections between the participants, dominant character traits, etc) while moving the plot from room to room with skill and a brisk pace. Things never get boring, thanks largely to the ridiculous planning that has gone in to each room, and there are at least a couple of attempts to surprise viewers on the way to the potential final exit. Whether you think they are successful attempts or not is a completely different matter.

The cast all do well in their roles. I am a fan of both Deborah Ann Woll and Tyler Labine so seeing them being part of the main group, playing Amanda and Mike, was a big bonus for me. Nik Dodani and Logan Miller are the weakest of the bunch, but not awful, playing Danny and Ben, while Jay Ellis does fine in the role of Jason and Taylor Russell does great work with what could have easily been a very annoying character (the writing helps somewhat but Russell definitely lifts it up).

Much like the rooms that they are taking inspiration from, these puzzle horror movies depend on their puzzles. This is another area in which Escape Room works. Some of the puzzles seem very easy, some fiendishly difficult. All seem solvable, as long as the players can stay alive long enough.

Some will find this just as easy to criticise. There's a disappointing lack of bloodshed (ensuring this can reach the widest possible teen audience in various territories, I assume) and a final coda that is groan-inducingly awful. But that didn't bother me, apart from when I actually had to sit through those few minutes and moan to myself about them while they played out. Overall, I had a good time with this. I'd happily rewatch it and if they can make it into a decent franchise . . . I'm also down for that.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.