Escape Room (2019)

At last. After seeing the 2017 Escape Room,  I finally got around to this one. I wanted some puzzles, some devious deathtraps, and a cast of characters who would work together, but also be morally shady enough to try cutting and running when the sense of self-preservation outweighed the team spirit. And I am happy to say that Escape Room delivered exactly what I wanted.

It doesn't take long to put together the six main characters who are about to attempt the escape. Danny is the expert at escaping, having managed to overcome many previous challenges. Mike is looking forward to a fun experience that may lead to a boost in his finances. Amanda is a young war veteran. Jason is a successful businessman used to getting his own way. Ben is a bit aimless. And then there's Zoey, a quiet young woman who is the smartest of the group, which will work in their favour if they just listen to her often enough. They all think that it's going to be a standard escape room experience, with the added incentive of a cash prize. We know different, of course, because this is a horror movie. We also know that it's unlikely that everyone will make it to the end.

Directed by Adam Robitel (who did solid work on Insidious: The Last Key and impressed horror fans with his first feature, The Taking Of Deborah Logan), this is a film that knows exactly how things should be played, for better or for worse. The script, by Bragi F. Schut and Maria Melnik, is constantly checking things off a list that viewers will be familiar with (character backstories, potential connections between the participants, dominant character traits, etc) while moving the plot from room to room with skill and a brisk pace. Things never get boring, thanks largely to the ridiculous planning that has gone in to each room, and there are at least a couple of attempts to surprise viewers on the way to the potential final exit. Whether you think they are successful attempts or not is a completely different matter.

The cast all do well in their roles. I am a fan of both Deborah Ann Woll and Tyler Labine so seeing them being part of the main group, playing Amanda and Mike, was a big bonus for me. Nik Dodani and Logan Miller are the weakest of the bunch, but not awful, playing Danny and Ben, while Jay Ellis does fine in the role of Jason and Taylor Russell does great work with what could have easily been a very annoying character (the writing helps somewhat but Russell definitely lifts it up).

Much like the rooms that they are taking inspiration from, these puzzle horror movies depend on their puzzles. This is another area in which Escape Room works. Some of the puzzles seem very easy, some fiendishly difficult. All seem solvable, as long as the players can stay alive long enough.

Some will find this just as easy to criticise. There's a disappointing lack of bloodshed (ensuring this can reach the widest possible teen audience in various territories, I assume) and a final coda that is groan-inducingly awful. But that didn't bother me, apart from when I actually had to sit through those few minutes and moan to myself about them while they played out. Overall, I had a good time with this. I'd happily rewatch it and if they can make it into a decent franchise . . . I'm also down for that.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

Prime Time: Follow Me (2020)

Writer-director Will Wernick may be a name familiar to you if you made the decision a few years ago to watch one of the other movies titled Escape Room, but not THE better Escape Room. Follow Me is, funnily enough, another movie based around an escape room experience. It’s worse than either of the aforementioned escape room movies though, which makes me think it is time for Wernick to stop crafting movies around that concept  

Keegan Allen plays Cole, the kind of narcissistic social media “superstar” I loathe. He spends his time accepting various challenges, staging various pranks, and generally doing what social media people do. Hus latest adventure is going to be his best yet, thanks to a friend who has hooked him up with a Russian contact who will get them into the ultimate escape room experience. It isn’t long until things become much more dangerous than expected though, which leaves Cole and co. fighting to stay alive.

Follow Me is just bad, and it’s bad from start to finish. It isn’t incompetent. It isn’t too boring (well, depending on how patient you are once you guess where things are heading). It’s bad. The core idea already feels far too tired and overdone, the cast aren’t good enough to sell most of their scenes, and I get the sense that Wernick feels as if he is being smart and playful for most of the movie, despite it all being tiresomely predictable and dumb.

Although I didn’t like his character, Allen does okay in the lead role. I believed him anyway, which is more than I could say for a couple of the cast members playing his friends, and let’s not start on the many actors cast from the Stereotypical Russian Thug Casting Agency. The fact that I didn’t care about anyone, good or bad, meant that I didn’t care how things ended, although I did start to hope for the film to end in a way that would actually surprise me (which Jr didn’t manage).

I guess some people might enjoy this. If you are desperate enough for another thriller set in an escape room environment then this might just scratch that itch. The traps aren’t well-designed, there’s never any real tension, any attempted commentary on social media videos/audiences does not work, and the end credits just underline a sense of utter pointlessness.

Those who follow me for movie recommendations should avoid Follow Me. All the basic elements are in place, but nothing really clicks. Ironic, as the central character is all about the clicks.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: Escape Room (2017)

Here's the thing. I knew when this movie started that it wasn't the latest movie called Escape Room. But I only just realised it. An amusingly cheeky little move from Netflix, this popped up and I immediately thought that the latest movie was one of their products, somehow getting a cinema release while also dropping on their service. Then I saw who was involved. And then I started to check out the headlines of some of the reviews for it. This was definitely not the same film that is now in cinemas in America, and it's not been that reviewed all that favourably.

The latter is quite odd, because there's nothing here that really makes this stand out as awful. In fact, I quite enjoyed it, and would expect others who enjoy horror movies with an element of puzzle-solving to at least be reasonably entertained.

The plot is simple. For his birthday, Tyler (Evan Williams) is given an Escape Room experience. He and his friends are taken to the location by limo, phones and all other items are taken off them, they have hoods put over their heads, and when they can next look around they are in different rooms with puzzles that need answering to provide an exit. Tyler is in a room all on his own, one couple is in another room, and one couple is in yet another room. And Tyler's girlfriend seems to be imprisoned somewhere. The time limit is an hour. Can the friends work together to get out? And how will they react when they realise that the rooms are actually rigged with very deadly, very real, boobytraps?

Written by Noah Dorsey, who worked on the idea with director Will Wernick, the biggest problem with Escape Room is the generic cast. Even that's not a huge minus. They're not awful, and the script does eventually start to differentiate individuals from the homogenous mass that they make up, but they're just not that interesting or memorable enough to make as good an impression as they should have been able to. Williams, for example, is given a scene early on that shows his character being quite the whizz with numbers. That's all fine and dandy, and his intelligence is also shown in a number of other sequences, but the plot constantly requires him to be helped by others, without any other real nods to their individual strengths or skills until the very moment it is required (see a scene involving the riddle of the Sphinx for the prime example).

Wernick doesn't do a terrible job with the direction, although he keeps everything a bit tamer than some horror fans may want. The deaths don't come thick and fast, but they're enjoyable when they finally start to happen, even if some are the result of ridiculously slow reactions from the main characters (again . . . that damn Sphinx riddle scene). Between the direction and the script, the main thing is that the puzzles don't seem impossible. They all play out in a way that provides a nice balance between tension and fun, at least until the risks start to increase as people get closer to the exit (of course).

I've not seen the most recent film that shares this title, so I can't say how this one compares, but I can say that this is a slick horror movie that does enough to entertain for most of the runtime. The opening act is a bit wobbly, but things pick up immensely once everyone is placed in the puzzle-filled environments. And that's what I hoped would happen.

6/10

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Escape Room: Tournament Of Champions (2021)

I enjoyed Escape Room. I also enjoyed Escape Room. And I will enjoy any number of films that feature escape rooms at the heart of their plot, as I have said before. It’s a cool concept, and the films often allow you to expect some gory death moments while “playing along” with the main characters.

The plot to this is very simple. After the events of the first film, Zoey (Taylor Russell) and Ben (Logan Miller) set out to find the creators of the dangerous game they were caught up in. They want justice to be served. That ends up with them dragged into more escape rooms, this time alongside other survivors (hence the title). An underground train, a bank, a seaside shack, and even a scene that looks like any number of NYC streets are all scenes full of puzzles they have to solve before the timer runs out.

There are a lot of people who worked together this time around to get the screenplay done, so I will just mention the returning Maria Melnik. While it may seem like far more bodies than necessary, every individual scenario is enjoyably intricate in the slotting together of the puzzle pieces so I cannot complain about more brainpower being used to focus on the fun extended set-pieces.

Director Adam Robitel is back in the big chair, and he sticks with the approach that served him well enough in the first film. Show the room, let the camera pick up small details, hone in on different clues as the players agonise over their next move. You get secret switches, deadly lasers, electric shocks, “quicksand”, acid raining down, and much more, and Robitel almost always shows a small effect of these elements before preparing for at least one major death.

Although the focus is always on the rooms themselves, both Russell and Miller acquit themselves admirably enough in their roles. Holland Roden, Indya Moore, Thomas Cocquerel, and Carlito Olivero also do fine, although it’s Roden standing out from the other players. Then you have scenes featuring Isabelle Fuhrman and James Frain that attempt to frame the whole story in a way that is pretty unnecessary. Look, I appreciate trying to show that there actually is someone creating these puzzles, but the logic of the movie has already asked me to switch off my brain and not overthink it, considering just how much money and resources would be needed for each scenario, so shoehorning in some backstory at this point does more harm than good.

As expected, this wasn’t quite as good as the first film. It’s not bad though, and certainly not bad enough to dissuade me from watching any other movies that use the idea, or even the same title. They may not be amazing, or stuffed with surprises, but they are enjoyably unpretentious and entertaining.

6/10

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Play Or Die (2019)

Based on a novel by Franck Thilliez, entitled "Puzzle", Play Or Die is a typical example of what you get when you have a first-time director, Jacques Kluger, making something that he believes manages to deliver something trendy with a bit of a twist.

Charley Palmer Rothwell is Lucas, and Roxane Mesquida is Chloé. The two friends work together to find the location of an intense "escape room" game called Paranoia. It's set in an abandoned mental hospital, and a few other players have managed to find the place. Everyone is soon made to realise that the ultimate prize for solving each riddle isn't just being the person who beat the game, it's getting away with your life intact.

From the very earliest scenes, showing Rothwell and Mesquida solving the clues that lead them to the location of the main game, Play Or Die has a problem in making the whole premise seem remotely plausible. Nothing is done to help show the lure of the game, nothing seems so tricky that only the best of the best would crack any of the clues, and it all just seems ridiculous. Things only get worse once the leads reach the main location, where most mistakes will end in certain death. The solutions to the problems become more complicated, and participants are expected to solve time-sensitive puzzles while the threat of instant death looms ever larger over them.

It would seem that we can lay the blame squarely with Kluger, who also co-wrote the script with Amiel Bartana (another first-timer). What may have worked in novel form, and I am only supposing here, just doesn't work onscreen, at least not without the distraction of some more style and wit that this is, sadly, lacking. Any film working within this realm is potentially ridiculous (from the Saw series to the many Escape Room films that have popped up lately), but they can often be enjoyable at the same time, depending on the logic and fiendishness of the traps, and the cast of characters being made to go through them.

This is another area in which the movie stumbles. Rothwell and Mesquida aren't the strongest of leads, with the former actually being slightly annoying for a lot of the runtime. It's not necessarily his fault, the script paints him as a glum figure who doesn't even seem to enjoy the thrill of the puzzle-solving (which adds to the lack of believability). Mesquida, on the other hand, at least gets to be enthusiastic and energetic for most of her screentime. Disposable supporting players are portrayed by Marie Zabukovec, Thomas Mustin, Daphné Huynh, and Hippolyte de Poucqes.

There are so many movies out there that are better, and similar, to this. It doesn't matter that this one tries to do something a bit different at the end, I still recommend you check out any of the other films I have mentioned in this review. Or you can watch Nerve if you fancy some light fun, and Would You Rather if you want something darker.

3/10

Prime Time: Samaritan (2022)

There was a time when a city had a hero, Samaritan, but those times are gone. Samaritan and his brother, a nemesis named . . . Nemesis, disappeared after a lengthy battle. Both were presumed dead. But young Sam Cleary (Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton) thinks at least one of them survived, and he thinks it is an old man who lives in the building just across from him. As that old man, Joe, is played by Sylvester Stallone, he might be right. Will Samaritan return, and will he deal with the new threat (Cyrus, played by Pilou Asbæk) that the city is facing?

I could have worked a bit more on that summary, but that would require more effort than the writer of the film put into the plotting. I have enjoyed some previous work from Bragi F. Schut (mainly the Escape Room movie), but this is bad. And it’s bad from start to finish, despite having a few scenes between young Sam and old Joe that show promise.

Director Julius Avery entertained me with the excellent Overlord a few years ago so I know that he can so great work. He can keep viewers grounded, in terms of geography and timing. You wouldn’t know that from this film. Scenes go by that could be indicating minutes, hours, or days, and the locations could be almost next door to one another or in opposite sides of the country (the only exceptions being Sam’s apartment and Joe’s apartment). And my summary of the film? It is depicted in animated form at the very start of the movie. 

A couple of things work, mainly the cast and a few decent fight scenes, but this is a superhero movie that thinks it is slyly subverting the superhero movie, and it really isn’t. If you haven’t spotted the third act moment being set up from the very opening moments then I don’t know what to tell you, but I saw it coming a mile away. The fact that the film allows it to play out as if it is a major bombshell ends up undermining it, and undermining the whole film. It doesn’t help that it is followed by a flashback with some of the worst de-aging FX work I have seen in a mainstream film.

Stallone is as good as you would expect in the role, his performance helped by the fact that he is an elderly man who could still beat up most of us with one hand tied behind his back. Walton is fine, even if he is credited with the middle name ‘Wanna’, but his character is sorely underwritten, and surprisingly hard to root for at times. Dascha Polanco is perfectly fine, playing the mother of Walton’s character, and various minor goodies and baddies are suitably portrayed by Moises Arias, Jared Odrick, Sophia Tatum, Abraham Clinkscales, and Shameik Moore. Asbæk is the highlight, however, and he manages to lift the movie slightly with every one of his scenes, seeming to revel in the experience of playing the kind of charismatic and deadly villain you could slot into pretty much every action thriller from the 1980s onwards.

There are one or two ideas here that make the appeal of the movie obvious, with everyone involve probably thinking they would get to have their cake and eat it, starring in a superhero movie that tried to be a step removed from other superhero movies. Sadly, those ideas are either under-developed or worthless, especially when couched in a feature that is so flat and consistently lazy. There’s not one aspect that deserves extra praise, from the score to the wardrobe, from production design to the effects, and I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone. Just watch Mystery Men instead. Or Super. Or Defendor. Or one of many other movies that twists some of the superhero movie tropes.

3/10

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Prime Time: Haunt (2019)

There have been a number of horror movies over the past few years set in a large haunted house experience, or some even bigger interactive event for horror fans. It's easy to see the appeal. These things are set up to bombard fans with genre tropes and scares, and the idea of one being a cover for torture and death is as plausible as it is a bit silly.

Haunt may well be the best of these movies, in terms of the actual horror content. It sets everything up well enough within the first half hour, allowing for a second and third act that can really pile on the gore and violence. It's just a shame that it's let down by the selection of characters and an unmemorable cast.

What's the plot? I've already covered it, basically. A bunch of younglings end up at a haunted house experience in the middle of nowhere. There's nobody else there, aside from the "actors" playing the scary villains, but that doesn't stop them from wandering in anyway and acting oblivious to how strange the whole thing is, at least until someone dies.

Co-directed and co-written by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods (the men behind the central idea of A Quiet Place), Haunt is a film clearly created by people who know their stuff. It utilises the haunted house environment to create a deadly maze with puzzles throughout, not unlike an Escape Room challenge, and has creepy figures in clown masks looking on impassively as hapless victims find themselves in increasing amounts of pain.

The script is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it does okay in setting up the characters, I guess, and the general group dynamic. On the other hand, too many of the leads are just too similar, and it would have been handier to have some more identifiers to tag on to various individuals. It doesn't help that the cast are one homogenised mass of blandness. Katie Stevens, Will Brittain, Lauryn Alisa McClain, Andrew Caldwell, Shazi Raja, Schuyler Helford, and Phillip Johnson Richardson may be the ones without the masks on, but I defy you to remember what any of them looked like once the end credits have rolled.

Thankfully, Beck and Woods do a better job with developing the nastiness as the reality of the situation becomes clear to all of the victims. Whether it's a cut arm or a foot being stamped down on a hand, all of the violence here begins with sensations you can identify with. And when the hammers start to come into play, well, that's a whole other level. Although not dwelling on the gore, things turn impressively brutal throughout the second half.

There's plenty here to please horror fans, plenty, and the fact remains that this isn't as lazy or slapdash as some other movies that have decided to use the same idea in a way that they think then requires no more effort with the actual craft of film-making. It's just a shame that there wasn't even more done to differentiate the characters, and perhaps make their main fears more integral to some of the set-pieces.

6/10

Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2015: Post The Second (And . . . . . Last)

It's all winding down now. As we reach the very end of the month, people start to realise that you can't escape hangovers for an infinite amount of time. Worst of all, a lot of people are about to be hit by a LOT of delayed hangovers all at once. But as long as they saw some shows, and perhaps even enjoyed some of them, then it's all been worthwhile. Maybe.

For my own part, following on from the first post here, I was also able to see the following:

Stewart Francis - Pun Gent - I've been a fan of Francis, and his magnificent puns, for a number of years now. He's as hilarious live as he is exhausting (any more than an hour and I think I would have needed pain relief for the constant laughing). He did, however, also come out with a few jokes that were in very poor taste. Oh, I still laughed, even while cringing slightly, but it's worth bearing in mind that seeing him live means hearing a few gags that certainly wouldn't make it on to any of his TV appearances. ****

360 All Stars - A drummer who can also play keyboard, at the same time. A beatboxer/DJ. A couple of breakdancers. A BMX stunt rider. A guy who goes around in a giant hoop. And Mr. Basketball. This motley crew really live up to their team name in a show that's loud, energetic, and hugely entertaining for all the family. There's some repetition here and there that may annoy some, but this was a show that seemed to go down a storm with everyone in the audience. ****

Breakfast At Piffany's - Another person I have been a fan of for some time is Piff The Magic Dragon, and Mr. Piffles. Focusing on comedy more than magic, this was a fun time with a late-night crowd. I have to kick myself for not remembering the name of the female assistant to Piff, because she often stole the show by putting on a big showbiz grin while being saddled with the tidying up, moving heavy objects, and generally unglamorous jobs required to keep the show moving. Very funny, and with a surprisingly glitzy, funky finale. *****

Morgan & West's Utterly Spiffing Magic Show For Kids (And Childish Grown-ups!) - I have now seen Morgan & West a couple of times, and they tend to both entertain and slightly irritate me. Their patter on stage is great, and that goes doubly so for this show aimed at kids in which West plays up the fact that he is not a fan of kids at all, but many of their tricks are based on very simple techniques/cheats. Of course, you could say that about all magic shows, which is why the presentation goes a long way, and the presentation here (for both kids and us childish grown-ups) was wonderful. The duo seemed to be a firm favourite as I chatted about the act with my 11-year-old daughter once we'd left the venue. ****

The Room: The Musical - Oh boy. Nothing in recent memory has made me laugh as much as this did. All of the cast were great, the actor playing Tommy Wiseau was uncannily perfect. The songs were funny. If you've endured/experienced The Room then you owe it to yourself to see this. Unfortunately, I don't think it's going to be shown again after this festival. Unless I was lied to. Do whatever it takes to see this tonight. Seriously (ummmmmm . . . . . . within all standard legal boundaries, of course). *****

Photo taken from the Facebook page of The Room: The Musical, and is credited to Tim Kelly. See more of his photography here - http://www.timothykellyphotography.com/ - or here - https://www.facebook.com/timkellyphotographer?fref=ts

Netflix And Chill: Kate (2021)

When will movie assassins learn? You cannot live that life and then be allowed to retire to a happy life. It just rarely happens, and is more often the case that the last job leads to a potential victim who the assassin perceives as a way to get a small amount of redemption. Kate is happy to follow this template.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays the main character, an assassin wanting to retire after one last job. Her handler, Varrick (Woody Harrelson), will be sad to see her go. But, wouldn’t you know it, things go wrong with her very last hit, a powerful target named Kijima (Jun Kunimura). It turns out that Kate has been poisoned, which puts her on a race against the clock to finish her last job, something she might be able to do by grabbing Kijima’s niece, Ani (Miku Patricia Martineau). 

As I have said so many times before now, if every other film was either an Escape Room movie or a John Wick riff then I would be easily pleased. Kate is a John Wick riff, with the main character being one of the very best at what she does, which happens to be killing people.

Directed by Cedric Nicolas-Troyan (only his second directorial feature after The Huntsman: Winter’s War), this is a fairly simple film that relies on action set-pieces to help viewers forgive the mass of clichés. And it works. The set-pieces are pretty great, especially an extended firefight/chase sequence that showcases the physical skills of everyone at about the halfway mark. The fact that this comes along soon after a sequence that shows Winstead as a formidable force tearing through a building full of gangsters who might have information she needs means you never feel that the main character is incapable of getting her revenge. She may be hurt, and weakened, but her intelligence and tactics help her to maintain an edge, even against overwhelming odds.

Writer Umair Aleem (who previously did Extraction . . . not that one) does a great job of sketching out the main characters, positioning the lead perfectly between wounded woman seeking that oft-sought redemption and superwoman, and uses a lot of familiar elements in a way that feeds nicely into the satisfying, and bloody, final act.

Winstead is excellent as Kate, compensating for her slight build with moves and viciousness that make her a very believable killer. Harrelson has fun in his supporting role, even if he is barely present for most of the middle section. Kumimura is strong and noble, Tadanobu Asano is his second in command, which makes him a potential threat to everyone around him, and Martineau grows nicely into her role as the film drags her along on a journey that features some touchstones recognised by Winstead’s character.

The soundtrack is very energetic, there are a lot of neon-lit action sequences (Japan makes a great backdrop for the main sequences), and the stunt team do a fantastic job of taking the hits and co-ordinating fights that should easily please every action movie fan. 

8/10

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Salo, Or The 120 Days Of Sodom (1975)

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom is a very difficult movie to watch. VERY difficult. In fact, considering the nature of the material, those of you with a sensitive nature, those of you of a young age or even just those of you wanting to retain your lunch should probably read no further.

I've seen nasty films. Sometimes I watch them because it seems like an endurance test/rite of passage (such as these Guinea Pig movies). Yes, I know that's not the best reason to watch movies but it IS a reason and I always try to be honest about such things. Sometimes I watch them because I've been told to check them out while also being warned about their content (as was the case with the Red Room movies). And sometimes, of course, a movie just gains such a strong reputation that I must check it out (which happened with the highly disturbing but nonetheless very good A Serbian Film).

I'm not listing those films as some kind of badge of honour, oh no. Some of the nasty movies I have seen have been very good pieces of cinema, either for the way in which they make audiences think or the way in which they push at the very boundaries of good taste and acceptability. Some of the nasty movies I have seen have been rubbish (yes, I'm looking at you Faces Of Death).

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom is rubbish, as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure that people are able to defend it as art, as a metaphor for the cruelty inflicted upon so many during WWII and as so much else but to me it was, and always will be, rubbish.

Set in a Fascist-occupied area of Italy, the film focuses on a number of men who collaborate with each other, and a few female prostitutes, to pick nine boys and nine girls and take them to their private residence, where stories will be told for the sole purpose of sexual arousal and the boys and girls will be degraded, sexually abused and even killed. In between the nastier moments of abuse there are stomach-churning tales mixed with poetic verses, a few jokes and musings on the nature of sex and love and life and death.

Writer-director Pier Paolo Pasolini (the screenplay was co-written by Sergio Citti and takes a lot from the works of the Marquis De Sade) didn't do anything by half here. The movie may start off feeling more restrained but there's actually debauchery, evil and lust dripping from almost every frame.

It's a credit to the cast that they all do a great job. Those playing the male abusers (Paolo Bonacelli, Giorgio Cataldi, Umberto Paolo Quintavalle and Aldo Valletti) were very easy to hate and those being abused were fragile beings that I willed to escape the madhouse they were trapped in.

There's also the music by Ennio Morricone to enjoy. Yes, the one and only Ennio Morricone. This certainly wasn't an easy job for him but he did what was required.

To be fair, despite my view on the final product, a number of reports from those involved with the film say that the mood on set was quite lighthearted and that the whole thing was really put together in the editing room so, in that respect, credit where credit is due on the technical front.

I just can't rate this highly. Some regard it as a classic and I must be missing something. I saw a number of clumsy metaphors onscreen but nothing that really made me think, especially while my stomach was being churned by what I was seeing.

So, to go back to what I was saying at the very beginning. I have seen my share of very nasty movies. I am not easily offended. I'll see more nasty movies in the future, no doubt. But I won't ever rewatch this one, it just didn't work for me at all and nobody will ever convince me to change my mind (though I encourage anyone to try).

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Salo-Blu-ray-Pier-Paolo-Pasolini/dp/B004ZQJ3MG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346616776&sr=8-1

Grounded AKA Unaccompanied Minors (2006)

Kids having a bit of a riot while stranded in an airport, that's the premise of Grounded AKA Unaccompanied Minors and I must admit that while it did tick all of the usual boxes and while it did start off quite badly, I ended up quite enjoying myself with this one. It's not one that I'll rush to revisit any time soon, and I can't see it ending up with a place in my movie collection, but it has enjoyable moments here and there and it's certainly one that's easy enough to enjoy while the kids are laughing at it.

Basically, a bunch of kids are supposed to be flying on Christmas Eve, but the weather has put an end to that idea. When five of the kids (Charlie, Spencer, 'Beef', Grace and Donna) escape from the Unaccompanied Minors room they have a bit of fun in the airport before being caught by the unhappy head of customer relations (Lewis Black). They're taken back to the UM room and told that they will be staying there for the rest of Christmas Eve, despite the fact that the other kids have all now been taken to a nice lodge along the road. This is particularly bad news for Spencer (Dyllan Christopher), as he knows that he must find a way to get back to his little sister, who is now in the lodge, and ensure that a present "from Santa" is waiting for her when she wakes up. It's a battle of wills between the kids, the head of customer relations and his many staff (including Rob Riggle and Wilmer Valderrama).

Most parts of this movie, admittedly, have been done numerous times before. Better. The script by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark doesn't have much bite to it (although Black, Valderrama, Rob Riggle and Rob Corddry get some fun moments) and director Paul Feig simply hits the notes that everyone is waiting for, including at least two montage moments.

Thankfully, the cast adds a lot of fun to the proceedings. The focus may be on Spencer trying to make Christmas right for his sister (Dominique Saldana) but the others get plenty to do. Gia Mantegna is fine as Grace, a typical "princess" type who Spencer ends up taking quite a shine to. Quinn Shephard is the other girl of the group, Donna, a bit of a tomboy, but not without an admirer either. Brett Kelly is quiet, but makes his presence known, as 'Beef'. And last, but by no means least, Tyler James Williams steals the movie as cheeky, but charming, Charlie Goldfinch. Williams is probably best known to people who enjoyed his comedic skills in Everybody Hates Chris and he creates laughter once again, whether he's trying to survive being moved around an airport in a suitcase or getting his groove on with a funky bit of music (the best montage moment). I've already mentioned the adults enough, maybe even too much already, but they do fine with what they're given.

It might start off unsteady, and there's a finale that almost disappears under sugary sweetness, but this has a fun middle section and proves to be fairly amusing, thanks in no small part to Tyler James Williams. Kids should enjoy it, though they probably won't rush to watch it again either.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Grounded-DVD/dp/B000MR9F5W/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1357051710&sr=1-1

Shudder Saturday: Undead (2003)

I have owned Undead for many years, and have enjoyed it since I first saw it back in the early 2000s. I want to say that I first saw it on VHS, but I'm not exactly sure. It's been about twenty years, cut me some slack. What I always remembered about Undead was the visual style and the quirky humour. There are certain elements of it that I always forget though, and they end up leaving viewers with a mixed bag, in terms of the viewing experience.

An avalanche of meteorites end up turning a small Australian town into the epicentre of what could be labelled as a standard zombie outbreak. René (Felicity Mason) finds herself caught up in the middle of some undead awfulness, but there's a silver lining to the cloud when she encounters the sharp-shooting skills of Marion (Mungo McKay). Others soon join them as they hide out in an isolated house, and it's soon time to come up with a proper escape plan.

The feature debut written and directed by The Spierig Brothers (Michael Spierig and Peter Spierig), Undead is a fun horror comedy that takes a familiar premise and adds one or two fun twists (which I won't spoil here). The special effects, mostly created by the brothers on home equipment, hold up well, with a great mix of practical gore and VFX helping to present a realistic world in which the unrealistic carnage is unfolding. The whole movie has a specific visual style, and The Spierig Brothers have retained that trademark, variations on their rather unique look, throughout their entire filmography (from the superior Daybreakers to the disappointing Winchester).

Mason is a good female lead, showing a core of strength and intelligence even when relying on the skills of McKay's character, while McKay himself does a great job of being the typical strong and silent "hero" of the piece. Dirk Hunter and Emma Randall are fun, playing a pair of confused and nervous police officers, and Rob Jenkins and Lisa Cunningham are a young couple, the latter also pregnant, who take a bit longer to, let's put it politely, show how useful they might be in a scenario that doesn't allow a lot of room for error.

I have to end on a slightly negative note though, sorry. Undead is never as good as I remember it being. It feels a bit overlong, mainly due to a wealth of scenes that simply focus on people shooting hordes of the undead, the humour isn't as consistent as it could be, and that cool visual style makes it feel like one scene just bleeds into another, which also seems to make each sequence feel stretched out, once again affecting the energy and pacing of the film.

Worth your time, but more for the small moments of inventiveness than the other things you might expect from a movie, like tighter plotting, a good sense of momentum, and fleshed out characters.

6/10

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Noir-vember: Chicago (2002)

The fact that Chicago is as good as it is seems to be a testament to the songs, the staging, and some of the casting. I don't think Renée Zellweger feels right in the main role, and I never have, but she does well enough to try and keep up with absolutely superb turns from Catherine Zeta-Jones, Queen Latifah, Richard Gere, and John C. Reilly.

Things start with Zeta-Jones, playing Velma Kelly. We see her performing a routine, "All That Jazz", that she used to perform with her sister. She's now a solo act, having murdered her sister. She hopes to do alright in the long run though, having the allure of celebrity on her side, as well as a smooth and brilliant lawyer, Billy Flynn (Richard Gere). She ends up begrudgingly moved out of the spotlight, however, when Roxie Hart (Zellweger) is jailed for the killing of her lover. Roxie may not have had any profile before the crime, but she sure knows how to create one now, especially with a little help from Matron Mama Morton (Latifah). Cold-blooded and ambitious, Roxie not only wants to escape an appointment with the hangman, she wants to turn her celebrity status into something that lasts after she gets out of prison. But getting out of prison will also depend on, yes, the suave Billy Flynn.

Adapted for the screen by Bill Condon, who has the benefit of great source material to work from, Chicago holds up as one of the best musicals of the 21st century, and, despite the period setting, works very well as a look at the constant allure of celebrity and the way famous people can take advantage of their position to manipulate a narrative. Director Rob Marshall does a hell of a job with his first cinematic release, arguably delivering a debut that he never bettered (although I am saying that before having seen absolutely everything in his filmography).

I don't want to feel as if I'm being overly rude so I'll just say that Zellweger remains the weakest part of the movie, albeit perfectly fine when supported by the many others doing much better work. Zeta-Jones loves every minute of her vamp character, and the film sizzles when she's onscreen, Latifah is a lot of fun, and gets a great number that introduces her character, and Gere is such a perfect fit for his role that it's unsurprising that he ends up involved in the two of the most well-staged numbers in the film. Reilly plays a wonderful sap, somehow making you feel sorry for him every time he is used and betrayed, and there's also room for enjoyable moments that involve Taye Diggs, Dominic West, Colm Feore, Lucy Liu, and the inimitable Christine Baranski.

But let's face it, a musical lives or dies by the musical numbers. This is what makes Chicago such a satisfying watch. The songs are catchy, the choreography is inventive and fun, and it's very rewatchable. "All That Jazz" might be the one that everyone knows, and was the only one I was familiar with when I first watched the film, but "When You're Good To Mama", "Cell Block Tango", "We Both Reached For The Gun", "I Can't Do It Alone", "Mr. Cellophane", and "Razzle Dazzle" are all brilliant in different ways, not to mention the other numbers that help to make up the runtime. 

It really is a shame about that bit of mis-casting, but the rest of the film is so good that it still comes very close to being a bit of a modern classic. Maybe one day I'll be able to overlook my biggest problem with it. Not today though.

8/10

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Noir November: The Naked Kiss (1964)

Samuel Fuller seemed to make a career out of diving into experiences that others may have desperately tried to avoid, be it his time as a journalist, the action he saw during wartime, or just the topics that he chose to cover in his movies. From the potentially infectious nature of insanity (Shock Corridor) to the different types of damage caused by racism (White Dog), Fuller didn't peek at anything from any class-constructed hiding place. He ran straight up to them and looked, long and hard. His unflinching view has left us a selection of fantastic movies, even if they weren't all necessarily appreciated during his lifetime.

The Naked Kiss is a film that nestles in comfortably amongst the others just mentioned. It starts off in quite a strange, unsettling way and then takes the viewer on a journey that leads to somewhere much, much darker. Constance Towers plays Kelly, a woman trying to escape her past. She settles in a new town, having one last dalliance with the local police chief (Anthony Eisley) before deciding that she wants to treat herself a bit better than that. Instead of trying to make money from sales, with her main commodity being her body, she instead gains employment at a local hospital for sick children. Eventually finding love with the wealthy J. L. Grant (Michael Dante), it starts to look as if her past can well and truly be left behind. But she's not the only one with . . . . . . . . . . . . baggage, to put it mildly.

From the opening scenes that show her attacking a man who owes her money to moments in which she feels resigned to be ensnared in a web of judgments made by people around her, Towers is pretty great in the leading role. She could be better, a lot of moments require her to skirt too close to insanity, but I think the problems lie in the material, as opposed to the performance. Eisley and Dante are both very good, with the former casting a constant shadow over the first half of the movie as the one man who could upset the position of precarious safety/cosiness that Towers has managed to get earn. And solid support comes from Marie Devereux, Karen Conrad, Patsy Kelly, Virginia Grey, and others.

Fuller shows his usual tactfulness while hinting at some very disturbing content, yet The Naked Kiss falls down when compared to his other works in a couple of key ways. First of all, a few of the character turnarounds in the third act just don't feel right. I won't go in to detail (trying to keep things as spoiler-free as possible) but there's at least one character who does such a sudden about-face that you start to wonder if something happened that was left on the cutting-room floor. The actions ARE justifiable, but still unexpected. The other big criticism I have with the film is the moment in which everything stops to show a bunch of children singing a song. Oh, it's lovely, it's adorable, many children get a chance to look directly into the camera and sing a line or two. It's also really clumsy and unnecessary, despite the developments in the third act.

Other minor niggles conspire to stop this being one of Fuller's best. It still comes highly recommended, however, as does pretty much any movie that has his name attached to it. Worth your time. Just not the writer-director at his very best.

8/10

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Captivity (2007)

The beautiful Elisha Cuthbert stars in this disappointing movie, one of many to try and make some money after the success of movies like Saw and Hostel. It's basically a thriller but there are enough moments of nastiness to edge it over into horror territory, albeit light horror territory (hardcore gorehounds should look elsewhere for their fix).

Elisha Cuthbert plays Jennifer, a beautiful young model who is kidnapped and awakens to find herself in a pretty secure holding "pen". Her kidnapper seems delighted to torture her in a variety of psychological ways and things only start to look ever so slightly brighter when Jennifer realises that she is not the only person being held against her will. There's a young man (Daniel Gillies) being kept in a room beside her and the two of them work together to try and make good their escape.

I didn't hate Captivity and I could, if I had to, watch it again but let me be clear about something - that's only because of the presence of Elisha Cuthbert, a gorgeous woman who would I would marry today if it wasn't for the fact that a) I'm already happily married, b) I'm probably not her type and c) the restraining order forbids such a joining together, as well as stopping me from ever walking along her street again.

Captivity is just lame. There are a couple of decent moments throughout but barely enough to keep the average viewer alert and interested. The script by Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura is pretty weak, for the most part, and things only pick up in a third act that throws in a couple of twists and turns that don't really surprise as they should. It's a shame because I like Larry Cohen, as do many other horror and thriller fans, but this is far from his best work.

Director Roland Joffe isn't particularly well-suited to the material and it shows. He fails to create any tension, the few fake-out moments cause groans as opposed to gasps and everything feels safe and slick as opposed to full of potential danger. It's watchable but it's a thriller with no real thrills.

Elisha Cuthbert is lovely in the lead, absolutely convincing as a young, attractive woman who makes money from looking young and attractive. Daniel Gillies is okay in his role though he proves to be quite disappointing as things unfold. Pruitt Taylor Vince is pretty good, as he so often is, and Laz Alonso and Michael Harney do just fine with their small amount of screentime.

There are, of course, a lot of movies out there that are a lot worse than this one. There are certainly a lot worse movies that have been "inspired" by the Saw franchise (*cough* Nine Dead *cough*). That doesn't change the fact, however, that this one is simply average at best.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Captivity-Blu-ray/dp/B002BD9DN4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1346921917&sr=8-2