Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)

I may have lost count, but I am pretty sure this must be about the seventieth Hellraiser movie, and it is time for writer Gary J. Tunnicliffe to step up and direct, after doing such a sterling job of almost destroying the entire series with his work on the script for the previous outing.

Two detectives, who also both happen to be brothers, Sean Carter (Damon Carney) and David Carter (Randy Wayne), are investigating crimes committed by a deranged serial killer. They don't seem to realise that this is the work of Pinhead (played this time by Paul T. Taylor) and his main assistant here, The Auditor (played by Tunnicliffe). To try and help things along, the two male detectives are joined by a female, Christine Egerton (Alexandra Harris), and things start creeping towards an ending you can see coming a mile or two away.

I think (not completely sure though) that this is a Hellraiser movie written AS a Hellraiser movie (unlike so many instalments on the series that were just movies with Pinhead and cenobites shoehorned in). There are some times when it doesn’t feel Hellraiser-y enough, mainly because so much of the plot feels like a standard serial killer movie, but the horror aspects are very effective throughout.

The one thing I know for certain is that, perhaps due to such a low bar being set the last time around, this is a much better film than the last one. The plot is slim, although Tunnicliffe certainly tries his best to make it feel a bit weightier, and I will admit that there are a couple of really good ideas here, and the use of the demonic entities allows for some excellent set-pieces.

The cast are a mixed bunch. Carney and Wayne are a couple of poor leads, although Harris does a lot better, making the men more tolerable whenever she is sharing the screen with them. Tunnicliffe is enjoyable as The Auditor and Taylor is a worthy successor to Bradley as the most iconic of the cenobites. Having said that, he apparently tried to give a different interpretation of the character, yet it feels very much like he was playing things safe by trying to imitate the best person to forever be associated with the role. I can take or leave everyone else, although I think it is worth mentioning “the jury” as a highlight.

I am as surprised as anyone else might be to say that I quite enjoyed this. It works for fans of the series, and it also works as a fairly stand-alone horror flick. Tunnicliffe has almost done enough to make me forgive him for the previous Hellraiser movie he created. Almost.

6/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)

"Hello,my friends. I want to put on record that the flick out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO FUCKIN’ CHILD OF MINE! I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.”

That was the tweet from Clive Barker, some time ago, that gave horror fans a heads up for the latest instalment in the Hellraiser franchise. If you can somehow read that message and not figure out how Barker feels about the movie, or what he thinks the movie will offer fans, then you need to read it again, but this time with your eyes open. It's clear that the movie isn't welcomed by the man who created the original idea that would spawn a novella, a British horror movie classic, a new horror icon and much, much more.

After watching this piece of crap, I want to make it clear that it's also not welcomed by me. I'm known for my generous spirit when it comes to reviewing films. On a good day a movie like this might still be able to claw some extra points simply because the camera was pointed the right way and the actors stood where they were supposed to stand. Today is not a good day.

Hellraiser: Revelations not only fails as a horror movie, it's never scary and the gore isn't impressive, but it's also one of those rare movies that goes out of its way to insult fans. Anyone who loved any of the previous movies, even the more risible sequels, will find something to take issue with here. Ironically, anyone who does buy the DVD is in for a truly interactive experience because opening the box WILL lead to a whole lot of suffering. Even managing to run for 75 minutes, at a push, this is a trial.

The story, though I don't even care to relate it, revolves around Steven Craven (Nick Eversman) and his friend, Nico Bradley (Jay Gillespie). The two head to Mexico for some heavy drinking and even heavier debauchery and end up with a Chinese puzzle box. They then disappear. Cut to - two couples about to enjoy a meal together. They are the parents of Steven and Nico, joined at the dining table by Steven's sister, Emma (Tracey Fairaway). It's a mix of horribly unbelievable moments and bad acting until something interrupts their planned melodrama and then everything starts to get . . . . . . . . REALLY unbelievable and badly acted.

I genuinely despair for people who throw this stuff together and think that it's acceptable horror fare. The script by Gary J. Tunnicliffe is consistently awful, either laughably bad or laughably cowering in the shadow of that classic first movie that launched the series. The direction by Victor Garcia goes hand in hand with the script, helped to scrape the bottom of the barrel by the painful acting from everyone involved. Eversman and Gillespie are both bad enough, as is Fairaway, but I almost feel sorry for Stephan Smith Collins, stuck with the thankless task of portraying Pinhead (the role owned by Doug Bradley since the first film). Almost. 

I try to see the silver lining in almost every situation, I really do. In fact, the fact that I don't give this the lowest score possible shows me being kind once again. Rating it as a movie that has been made, it gets a couple of points. If I rated it as a fecal-encrusted slap in the face to all fans of the Hellraiser movies, it would definitely get a zero. It should never have been made, it doesn't deserve your money and I hope those involved have the good grace to apologise and learn from their mistakes. Or, at the very least, pack their bags and live on the streets until they regain their reputations by becoming regional finalists in the underground bum fight scene.

2/10

http://www.amazon.com/Hellraiser-Revelations-Steven-Brand/dp/B0056P6SOG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373323888&sr=8-1&keywords=hellraiser+revelations