Puppet Master: The Legacy (2003)

It seems a bit unfair to review Puppet Master: The Legacy when I have reviewed all of the other movies that came before it. Because this is one of those specials that we've come to expect from Full Moon Features, a film that has about ten minutes of new material in there, if that, with the rest made up of edited sections from other movies. Charles Band, credited as director here (under the name Robert Talbot), never met one movie that he wouldn't try to stretch into three more movies.

The very slim plot sees a woman (Maclain, played by Kate Orsini) trying to track down the secret of Toulon. She eventually tracks down Eric Weiss (Jacob Witkin), who is actually the older incarnation of the boy named Peter Hertz, a child saved by Toulon in the third movie. As Maclain demands answers from him, Eric plays her a number of tapes and tells her a number of stories about the life of Toulon. It's all stuff that viewers will be familiar with, but what is more annoying is that it's also all supposed to be stuff that Maclain also already knows.

I would be kind to this movie and say that it was best viewed as a "greatest hits" swansong for the series, but neither of those things are true. Perhaps it was all meant to end here, although I am glad that it didn't (unless the next instalments can somehow get any worse, which I seriously doubt), but there were so many more good clips that could have been served up to entertain viewers, and remind them of what they loved best about the series. What you get, instead, is just a potted version of every other film (although I don't remember too many scenes from part 5 . . . but it's in there) without a decent enough framing device to make it feel like anything other than the lazy cash grab it so obviously is.

Orsini is quite bad in her role, but she's not given much help from the dialogue she's made to spout (by C. Courtney Joyner). Witkin is slightly better. And then you have to endure more moments you've already endured, as the flashbacks really take over with Greg Sestero talking in his horrible French accent. At least that allows you to know the structure, and to know that once that portion of the story is out of the way it is a Sestero-free zone for the rest of the movie. Thank goodness for small mercies. There are incidental pleasures from seeing the clips that feature action from the second and third movies, but you could always just . . . rewatch the second and third movies, which would save you having to be reminded of the weaker elements of some of the other instalments.

No wonder Band credited himself under a different name here. Taking any directorial credit is a bit of a cheek, considering how much of it is simply placing the work of others in some kind of series overview film collage. Easily avoidable if you've watched the series in order.

2/10

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Retro Puppet Master (1999)

As you are all aware, this is the Puppet Master movie in which a young Toulon is played by Greg Sestero, working with a horrible French accent. Wait, are you telling me that you were NOT aware of that? You didn't know that one of the stars of The Room was, at one point, Toulon AKA the Puppet Master? Well, to be fair, neither did I. Somehow, nobody told me about this, even as they knew I would be making my way through every instalment in this series. Seeing him piqued my interest, which then started to slide downhill fast when I realised that it wasn't just the influence of Tommy Wiseau that had shaped his performance in The Room.

Things start off with the elderly Toulon (Guy Rolfe appearing once again) talking to his puppets. He offers to tell them a tale about the very first time he made them live. And then things move back to show viewers the young Toulon (Sestero), a woman who falls for him (Ilsa, played by Brigitta Dau, who I am assuming is AKA Elsa, Toulon's wife we last saw played by Sarah Douglas in the third movie), and a sorcerer named Afzel (Jack Donner). Afzel is being pursued by servants of Sutekh, three mummies who have been ordered to kill him, and anyone else who gets hold of the secret of life. Knowing he needs to pass along the knowledge, Afzel teaches Toulon.

Once again pairing up director David DeCoteau and writer Neal Marshall Stevens, this seventh Puppet Master movie feels like a step up from the sixth, in some ways, yet also feels like a step down. It's good that we're back with the elements that feel more ingrained in the series (Toulon, the scenes that focus on the actual puppets, even the minions sent out to do the bidding of Sutekh), but setting it in Paris at the start of the 20th century causes a number of issues.

The biggest issue is the downright painful accent being attempted by Sestero, who is awful in the main role. His acting style is just too big and obvious, more fitting for a Troma movie (or some of the Full Moon Features that are more broadly comedic), but the accent is the final nail in the coffin. It will make you want to rip your ears off, stuff them in a croissant, and have them transported to Paris to be soothed by the accent of someone who is actually French. Dau is a bit better in her role, which allows her to be imperilled in time for the finale, and Donner has fun with his supporting role. Stephen Blackehart also has fun, portraying the leader of the mummified trio.

None of the main sequences work as well as they could, the editing is too clumsy (probably trying to cover up any shortcomings) and, as is often the case with prequels, the threat is greatly reduced because we know the overall outcome. And a small part of you may want to see some harm come to Sestero, if only to stop him speaking for a few minutes.

Having said that, the retro design of the puppets is a nice way to mix things up slightly, and having some mummies after our hero allows for some better fights than any that involved the small minions featured in the 4th and 5th movies. But that's not enough to make up for how bad Sestero is.

4/10

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Puppet Master 5 (1994)

AKA Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter, but not one of us would believe that title anyway, surely.

Following on almost immediately from the events of the previous film, you even get a handy little recap to take up a few minutes of the brief runtime (a classic Full Moon Features trick, as any fan will be able to tell you), this sees Rick Myers initially under arrest for some part in the deaths of his colleagues. A company man named Jennings (Ian Ogilvy) isn't sure what to make of his story, but he certainly doesn't want to dismiss it entirely if it could mean getting hold of a serum that can give life to the non-living. This leads to Jennings heading to the Bodega Bay Inn, with some hired hands by his side, to search for the puppets. Meanwhile, the angry demon Sutekh is still angry, and still out to kill anyone in between him and the serum.

With Jeff Burr still at the helm, and the same five people involved in the writing of the screenplay, this feels very much like everyone involved was asked to come up with one main plot that could be broken into two series instalments. That's fine, and you can ultimately take or leave them, if still disappointing in comparison to the first few movies. Unlike the previous film, however, this has a few more scenes in which the puppets can still attack some humans. That doesn't stop it from becoming even sillier this time around though, with more small scenes in which Sutekh helps the screenwriters kill time by repeating his motivation and what he plans to do, and a finale that is almost impossible to care about.

Gordon Currie is still fine in the role of Myers, and he's joined once again by Chandra West as his girlfriend, Susie. Teresa Hill also returns, playing Lauren, but is forced to stay in a bed for most of her scenes, shaking her head with a pained expression and occasionally uttering the handy results of her psychic visions. Ogilvy is a pleasure to watch, bringing a touch of class to the proceedings (maybe I'm projecting, I can never be unimpressed by a former Simon Templar), and his three main "assistants" are ably played by Nicholas Guest, Willard E. Pugh, and Duane Whitaker (arguably the most familiar of the three, due to his work with Tarantino and Rob Zombie). Guy Rolfe also returns, and you get a very brief cameo from Clu Gulager.

There's fun to be had here, and the puppets are still now on the side of the good guys, but without feeling completely devoid of any menace. I just hope that this is the end of this particular storyline, allowing the series to go on some other interesting and wonderful side roads in future instalments. Having said that, I realise I may very well regret that sentiment as soon as I have actually watched the next one or two movies.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy a decent little set here.

Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Okay, so THIS is obviously where the Puppet Master series starts to drop off in quality. I could tell from the very first scene, one that shows a demon talking to his minions about a need to retrieve the formula that was stolen by Toulon to imbue his puppets with life.

Gordon Currie plays Rick Myers, a young man who is currently working on a project that wants to create artificial life without the artificial part. It may be couched in science but the main quest is a standard Frankenstein one. He's joined one evening by his girlfriend, Susie (Chandra West), and two other unexpected guests, Cameron (Ash Adams, billed as Jason Adams) and Lauren (Teresa Hill). And, of course, a number of puppets turn up. They're not out to kill innocent people though. The puppets, still hearing advice from the spirit of Toulon (Guy Rolfe reprising the role), want to protect the people around them from the evil minion menace.

It took five people to write this movie, apparently. Five. That would be understandable if this new direction for the series was created thanks to some masterful writing that carefully gathered together everything we know from the previous three movies and then used the puppet creations in a new and exciting way. That isn't how things turn out, however, and the end result is disappointing, especially compared to the films that precede it. Although the continuity is far from the worst, things don't feel to connect properly to other instalments in the series, and any moments that feature the puppets engaging in a bit of violence are usually showing them fighting against the evil minion puppets.

This isn't the first rodeo for director Jeff Burr, who had already proven himself a solid helmer of horror movie sequels with Stepfather II, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, and Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, but his hands are tied by the weak script, which locks him in to a number of unfavourable choices. I don't know if the story continues immediately in the next film in the series, but I do know that it's Burr directing once again, and with a number of the same cast members.

When it comes to the cast, I must say that these are far from the worst people to be thrown into some Full Moon Features fare. Despite being given a weak script to work with, Currie does his best in the main role, and the leading ladies give good support. West is fine as the loved one put in danger and Hill works hard to avoid making it completely laughable when she has that oft-used Full Moon Features trope, canny psychic sensations. Adams also does okay, but he's playing the cocky, jealous member of the group, meaning you quickly take a dislike to him anyway, and Rolfe has minimal screentime as Toulon, using a specific puppet to project his visage upon when he has to provide some further exposition to the main characters in order to set up the finale.

I still found enough here to enjoy, despite the lack of decent moments for any of the puppets (and it's unbelievable how much of the soundtrack is composed of the weird chuckle that the six-armed gunslinger makes), but this was one to just get through on my way through the series. I am sure a number of instalments will feel that way, I just hope it doesn't end up being too many of them.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy a decent little set here.

Contents may differ from puppets shown on advertising materials. Torch NOT actually included.

Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge (1991)

Uh oh. I must admit that I was worried when this film started. The third film in the Puppet Master series is a prequel (and not the only one, from what I have gathered). I could already envision the reworked character backstories, the use of footage that had been cut from the previous two movies, and a general feeling of something lacklustre. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. This sees the series at three for three, with all of them reaching the same level of quality - almost unheard of when it comes to Full Moon Features, in my experience.

Guy Rolfe is the actor portraying Toulon this time around, a man who enjoys spending his time entertaining children with his impressive puppets. But there's something about them, something that imbues them with life, and that is of interest to the Nazis. Before you can say "heil who?", Major Kraus (Richard Lynch) has marched in to tell Toulon that his life is pretty much over.

As potentially tricky as this could have been, risks are minimised by using the more experienced hands of David DeCoteau, on directorial duties, and C. Courtney Joyner, writer of the enjoyable Prison and even more enjoyable Class Of 1999, and that clearly pays off. Taking this step back allows viewers to enjoy everything they know about the series, dig a bit further into the background lore, and not find the material already too familiar and boring.

The cast also help, with the majority of the runtime focusing on Rolfe and Lynch in a basic good vs evil battle. Rolfe is a very good Toulon, sympathetic and easy to root for as he puts his talented puppets to deadly use, and Lynch is entertainingly irredeemable as the main villain. Sarah Douglas is good to see in a small role, Ian Abercrombie, Kristopher Logan, Aron Eisenberg, and Walter Gotell all do decent work, and the beautiful Michelle Bauer is onscreen just long enough to add some gratuitous nudity and remind you of the power of Bauer.

As well as some of the puppets already seen in previous movies, the main addition here is a six-armed gunslinger, and it's worth mentioning that the work on him is some of the best seen in the series so far. All of the Puppet Master movies, from the few I have now seen, have impressed me with their work involving the actual puppets, but this is a real high point (a standard I hope the series maintains).

Part of me wants to pick out some more positives, part of me wants to stop before everyone suspects me of completely overselling the thing. Without the context of any future instalments to go by, I will just say that I recommend anyone picking up a box set of these first three films, especially if you find them going for a cheap enough price.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy a decent little set here.

The Stranglers Of Bombay (1959)

There are elements of The Stranglers Of Bombay that are easily enjoyed, but it's hard to just sit back and enjoy a movie that is such a relic from a bygone age, in many ways. One of those movies showing when the might of Great Britain stretched far overseas, into areas that had been colonised by, according to the movies, tea-drinking gentlemen who would sometimes look upon the locals with amused curiosity, and occasionally afford them the respect that they deserved.

It's the early part of the nineteenth century. Lots of people have been going missing, all of them murdered by the Thugee Cult Of Kali. Of course, nobody knows this immediately. An investigation begins, led by Captain Christopher Connaught-Smith (Allan Cuthbertson, every inch Lord Flashheart from Blackadder), hopes to get to the truth, but the man best qualified to provide answers (Captain Harry Lewis, played by Guy Rolfe) is being ignored, or even mocked. Meanwhile, the leader of the cult (George Pastell) knows that the British are creeping closer and closer to finding the truth.

Hampered by a stilted script from David Zelag Goodman and the lack of any real A-list stars, although Rolfe is good enough in the lead role and Pastell has plenty of screen presence, director Terence Fisher does his best to make something entertaining and interesting. What he ended up with, however, feels like the closest Hammer ever came to real exploitation fare. This is almost a mondo film in a number of ways, best illustrated by the scene in which we watch a mongoose and snake fighting one another (note: animal lovers may wish to turn away for that moment), and that's what actually keeps it watchable nowadays as a curio piece from the studio.

It just manages to qualify as an above average viewing experience, but I'd recommend it only to either Hammer completists or those who like their horror to have one foot dipped in any of the darker chapters in our world history.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Stranglers-Of-Bombay-Region/dp/B009O8U9VY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1392155164&sr=8-1&keywords=the+stranglers+of+bombay