Puppet Master 5 (1994)

AKA Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter, but not one of us would believe that title anyway, surely.

Following on almost immediately from the events of the previous film, you even get a handy little recap to take up a few minutes of the brief runtime (a classic Full Moon Features trick, as any fan will be able to tell you), this sees Rick Myers initially under arrest for some part in the deaths of his colleagues. A company man named Jennings (Ian Ogilvy) isn't sure what to make of his story, but he certainly doesn't want to dismiss it entirely if it could mean getting hold of a serum that can give life to the non-living. This leads to Jennings heading to the Bodega Bay Inn, with some hired hands by his side, to search for the puppets. Meanwhile, the angry demon Sutekh is still angry, and still out to kill anyone in between him and the serum.

With Jeff Burr still at the helm, and the same five people involved in the writing of the screenplay, this feels very much like everyone involved was asked to come up with one main plot that could be broken into two series instalments. That's fine, and you can ultimately take or leave them, if still disappointing in comparison to the first few movies. Unlike the previous film, however, this has a few more scenes in which the puppets can still attack some humans. That doesn't stop it from becoming even sillier this time around though, with more small scenes in which Sutekh helps the screenwriters kill time by repeating his motivation and what he plans to do, and a finale that is almost impossible to care about.

Gordon Currie is still fine in the role of Myers, and he's joined once again by Chandra West as his girlfriend, Susie. Teresa Hill also returns, playing Lauren, but is forced to stay in a bed for most of her scenes, shaking her head with a pained expression and occasionally uttering the handy results of her psychic visions. Ogilvy is a pleasure to watch, bringing a touch of class to the proceedings (maybe I'm projecting, I can never be unimpressed by a former Simon Templar), and his three main "assistants" are ably played by Nicholas Guest, Willard E. Pugh, and Duane Whitaker (arguably the most familiar of the three, due to his work with Tarantino and Rob Zombie). Guy Rolfe also returns, and you get a very brief cameo from Clu Gulager.

There's fun to be had here, and the puppets are still now on the side of the good guys, but without feeling completely devoid of any menace. I just hope that this is the end of this particular storyline, allowing the series to go on some other interesting and wonderful side roads in future instalments. Having said that, I realise I may very well regret that sentiment as soon as I have actually watched the next one or two movies.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy a decent little set here.

Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Okay, so THIS is obviously where the Puppet Master series starts to drop off in quality. I could tell from the very first scene, one that shows a demon talking to his minions about a need to retrieve the formula that was stolen by Toulon to imbue his puppets with life.

Gordon Currie plays Rick Myers, a young man who is currently working on a project that wants to create artificial life without the artificial part. It may be couched in science but the main quest is a standard Frankenstein one. He's joined one evening by his girlfriend, Susie (Chandra West), and two other unexpected guests, Cameron (Ash Adams, billed as Jason Adams) and Lauren (Teresa Hill). And, of course, a number of puppets turn up. They're not out to kill innocent people though. The puppets, still hearing advice from the spirit of Toulon (Guy Rolfe reprising the role), want to protect the people around them from the evil minion menace.

It took five people to write this movie, apparently. Five. That would be understandable if this new direction for the series was created thanks to some masterful writing that carefully gathered together everything we know from the previous three movies and then used the puppet creations in a new and exciting way. That isn't how things turn out, however, and the end result is disappointing, especially compared to the films that precede it. Although the continuity is far from the worst, things don't feel to connect properly to other instalments in the series, and any moments that feature the puppets engaging in a bit of violence are usually showing them fighting against the evil minion puppets.

This isn't the first rodeo for director Jeff Burr, who had already proven himself a solid helmer of horror movie sequels with Stepfather II, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, and Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, but his hands are tied by the weak script, which locks him in to a number of unfavourable choices. I don't know if the story continues immediately in the next film in the series, but I do know that it's Burr directing once again, and with a number of the same cast members.

When it comes to the cast, I must say that these are far from the worst people to be thrown into some Full Moon Features fare. Despite being given a weak script to work with, Currie does his best in the main role, and the leading ladies give good support. West is fine as the loved one put in danger and Hill works hard to avoid making it completely laughable when she has that oft-used Full Moon Features trope, canny psychic sensations. Adams also does okay, but he's playing the cocky, jealous member of the group, meaning you quickly take a dislike to him anyway, and Rolfe has minimal screentime as Toulon, using a specific puppet to project his visage upon when he has to provide some further exposition to the main characters in order to set up the finale.

I still found enough here to enjoy, despite the lack of decent moments for any of the puppets (and it's unbelievable how much of the soundtrack is composed of the weird chuckle that the six-armed gunslinger makes), but this was one to just get through on my way through the series. I am sure a number of instalments will feel that way, I just hope it doesn't end up being too many of them.

5/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy a decent little set here.

Contents may differ from puppets shown on advertising materials. Torch NOT actually included.

Alien Tornado AKA Tornado Warning (2012)

Why do I keep doing it to myself? Why, why, why? I saw the title, Alien Tornado, and I thought that I might end up enjoying this in the same way that I've enjoyed many other disaster movies and creature features shown on the SyFy Channel. I'm an easily pleased kind of guy, so it probably wouldn't be THAT painful. How wrong I was.

Alien Tornado is yet another made-for-TV movie that tells you exactly what it's all about in the title. Aliens invade Earth, attacking the planet while hidden in tornadoes. That's it. Which means that you get the usual style for this type of movie - a shaking camera, some poor CGI causing destruction, some strained moments between characters that it's hard to care about - with less of the fun factor than usual.

Jeff Fahey is the grizzled father who ends up losing plenty to an unexpected tornado, and Stacey Asaro is his daughter, a young woman who is desperate to get out of the small town and start her life in a big city. Kari Wuhrer is Gail Curtis, a weather expert who ends up heading to the small town where all the activity is occurring, and bumping heads with Fahey.

Director Jeff Burr does nothing to liven up the proceedings, and Paul A. Birkett seems intent on providing the worst script that he possibly can. Birkett has a number of these TV-movies under his belt, and can do better than this, so it feels very much that he (or someone else) thought up a premise that he was then unable to flesh out into a full feature. The characters are even less interesting than the usual carboard cut-outs that can populate such fare, and the tornadoes never feel like an impressive force of evil . . . . . . . . . . . because they're tornadoes, alien or not.

Fahey and Wuhrer have a number of awful movies in their filmography by now, yet this remains a low point for both of them. Asaro actually doesn't come over too badly. Hopefully, she can keep working hard until she drags herself further up the ladder. Willard E. Pugh does his best in the role of the local law enforcement, and David Jensen and Marcus Lyle Brown are a couple of shady characters working for an agency that knows a bit more about the tornadoes than it's willing to let the public know.

There's a beginning, middle, and end here, but the fact that absolutely nothing exciting happens during any section of the movie turns the whole thing into one long, boring mess. Even the poor dialogue that would usually give me a few chuckles seemed intent on putting me to sleep. The only thing saving this from being completely unwatchable is the cast, and that's me being charitable (because, let's face it, they're not working at the top of their game).

Avoid. If this appears on your TV at any point then turn off the TV immediately. If you're not quick enough, if one or two scenes pollute your brain before you can grab the remote control, then smash the screen, burn the whole thing, have a priest exorcise your living room, and then move house. Alternatively, change the channel and never speak of it again.

2/10

http://www.amazon.com/Tornado-Warning-Blu-ray-Stacey-Asaro/dp/B00AX0MDUM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1405453459&sr=8-2&keywords=alien+tornado