Showing posts with label jennifer esposito. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jennifer esposito. Show all posts

Sunday, 31 August 2025

Netflix And Chill: Taxi (2004)

An American remake of an action comedy from the late 1990s, one written by no less than Luc Besson, Taxi has a good bit of talent behind the camera. Tim Story is the director, and the screenplay is from Robert Ben Garant, Jim Kouf, and Thomas Lennon. It's just a shame that Jimmy Fallon is one of the leads.

Queen Latifah is Isabelle 'Belle' Williams, a woman who is at the very start of her career as a taxi driver. She has spent years being a courier, and has even managed to get caught speeding while whizzing about on her bicycle. She's a very talented driver, and very quick. That's why she proves to be a useful asset when a police officer named Andrew Washburn (Fallon) jumps into the back of her cab and asks her to head to the site of a nearby bank robbery. Williams and Washburn end up working together on the case, although it's not made official. But it might take a speedy and slick taxi driver to catch a speedy and slick getaway driver. 

Despite the work of the writers, there's nothing very witty or entertaining here, not outwith the stunt driving anyway. A large part of that is due to the screenplay just being a bit too thin, but I think the problem is almost equally down to having Fallon in the role of Washburn. While I can tolerate him in some of his TV spots, Fallon has never done enough in movies to fully win me over, which is a major hurdle when he's given a lead role.

Queen Latifah certainly tries her best to balance out the awfulness of Fallon though, and she's fantastic in her role (as she has been in many of the movies she has starred in). She cannot carry the whole film on her shoulders though, and that's what is being asked of her. Henry Simmons isn't too bad, playing her partner, and Ann-Margret has fun in her scenes, but Jennifer Esposito, Gisele Bündchen, and everyone else are just disappointing non-entities.

Similar to so many other American remakes of “foreign-language” originals, Taxi succeeds when it replicated the scenes that worked just as well in the original, but falters in the attempts to make everything more appealing to mainstream American audiences. You can watch this and not hate it. You’re unlikely to enjoy it as much as the first film though, as long as you can overcome the teeny tiny obstacle of subtitles.

This review may not have given you anything substantial to digest. Nor does the movie. I'm happy enough to have been critical without being too insulting. I'd encourage people to check out almost anything else directed by Tim Story, or indeed anything else starring Queen Latifah.  

4/10

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Wednesday, 16 June 2021

Prime Time: Mary (2019)

I think the best way to warn people against Mary, a painfully poor horror movie from the director of the stupid-and-why-can't-more-people-see-it-is-stupid Megan Is Missing (honestly, I have no idea how so many people were so affected by that film, apart from considering it an internet-savvy way of tapping into the modern equivalent of Satanic panic), is to describe it as a film that could have easily been put out by Dark Castle at the turn of the 21st century. The big difference is that Dark Castle would have delivered some much better production design and visuals, thrown around some blood and fun scares, and not made the mistake of thinking the silly premise could be turned into something serious.

The plot is quite simple to summarise. A family buy a boat, and that boat turns out to be, well, not very nice. It may even have an evil spirit on it. As the family are taken further out to sea, things get more dangerous. That's all you need to know. Oh, there's also some tension, of course, between the husband and wife, because one partner had an affair.

I can only assume that the script, by Anthony Jaswinski, seemed like something that might work better when adapted to screen. Or maybe those involved were just big fans of The Shallows (also written by Jaswinski). I can't think of any other reason for both Gary Oldman and Emily Mortimer to sign on for this. I really like both actors, but they are unable to do anything here to outweigh the dire material. Maybe they both had large, unexpected, bills that needed paid. People do what they have to do for a decent payday. And I am not saying that they are bad here, just to clarify, I am just saying that they're unable to polish this turd.

Others acting alongside Oldman and Mortimer are Stefanie Scott and Chloe Perrin (playing their daughters, Lindsey and Mary), Owen Teague, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, and Jennifer Esposito. Teague and Garcia-Rulfo are wasted, at least Scott and Perrin get one or two decent moments between them, and Esposito feels like a character drafted in from a more straightforward cop thriller flick.

Mary is more annoying for the fact that it could easily have been something pleasantly surprising and fun. But that would have meant someone at the helm who wanted to show that they cared about the thing. Director Michael Goi doesn't want to do that. He instead just meanders from one moment of melodrama to the next, occasionally stopping for a bit of horrible CGI to shake up one of the main characters, and keeps heading towards an ending that is as bad as everything else that precedes it. Although most of the problems stem from the script, a bit of restructuring and some time spent working on the overall tone could have made this less of an endurance test. The runtime is only 84 minutes, yet it feels like it goes on so much longer than that.

3/10

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