Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 (2022)

I have said it before, and I am sure I will say it again, but it is tough to spend time and effort writing a review of a film that itself doesn’t seem to have been made by anyone who cared about it. What Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 has going for it is some name recognition, and nothing more. I am not even sure it can make the most of that, considering that the first film was also titled The Imp in some territories. But here we are, and here it is, and my sense of resentment is rising.

The plot is about as substantial as an anorexic amoeba, and all you need to know is that a group of people end up in a bowling alley that contains a cheeky creature looking to trick people by fulfilling their wishes in creatively negative ways. There’s some gratuitous nudity, one or two decent special effects in between a whole lot of dire visuals, and nobody onscreen that you will care about.

Written by Kent Roudebush, and the script for this doesn’t have me rushing to see whether or not he has any other credits to his name (I wouldn’t be surprised if this was either his first script or his one hundredth), the big plus here is the directing job for Brinke Stevens (who also cameos onscreen at one point, alongside another fave scream queen of mine, Michelle Bauer). Unfortunately, Stevens doesn’t do a very good job of directing, but her name attached to the project gives it an extra ounce of watchability, as does the small supporting role for Kelli Maroney. I don’t want to spend too much time criticising Stevens, it is hard to think of anyone doing much better with such an obviously limited schedule and low budget, so I will just say that I wish she had waited longer to make her feature directorial debut. Will I still sit through her next movie, Terror Toons 4, at some point though? Of course I will.

There are a couple of things I can be positive about. The short runtime helps make it a bit less painful, this barely manages to get over the hour mark, and when the imp appears (voiced by Derek Jeremiah Reid) he’s more entertaining than the rest of the cast combined. That is all though, and I am being very generous.

I guess anyone familiar with Full Moon Features will have an idea of what they are getting themselves into (and the emphasis has always been on potential profit ahead of everything else, in my view), but this is even worse than you could imagine. I felt sorry for everyone involved, and I hope they get a chance to work again on something that feels like a proper film.

2/10

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Attack Of The 50 Foot CamGirl (2022)

There have been many films over the years that have shown us people of various unusual sizes, from men and women who have been shrunk down to a size smaller than ants, to people enlarged enough to tower over buildings around them. And, although this was hitherto unbeknownst to me, a few of those films have been made over the last 5-10 years, often placing an attractive female in the lead role.

Attack Of The 50 Foot CamGirl is exactly what you think it is. Ivy Smith plays Beverly Wood, a popular cam girl who is always looking to boost her viewership and ratings. She is managed by her scheming husband (played by Eli Cirino) and often feels threatened by her mistreated assistant, Fuschia (Christine Nguyen). And then a mishap leads to her having a very sudden growth spurt.

Written by Kent Roudenbush (and I will leave you to check out his filmography for yourself, but “highlights” from his body of work include Corona Zombies and Barrie & Kendra Save The Tiger King), the best thing about this movie is that it has a mercifully short runtime. I will say, however, that it also has a few moments of wit here and there, and embraces the very low budget in a way that gives it a certain charm.

The fact that Jim Wynorski is in the director’s chair also means that you’re going to get a fair bit of gratuitous nudity, with the man drawn to a large bust just as obsessively as Russ Meyer. He is another one of those directors who now has a filmography varying between adult-oriented fare and occasional cheap adventures churned out to please undemanding kids, but I am not going to pretend that I don’t enjoy most of his films for the same reason he probably enjoys directing them.

The cast give performances that could best be described as fitting this type of film (cheap ‘n’ cheerful). Smith is amusingly vain and vapid for most of the runtime, only starting to become more considerate, of herself and her situation, when her giant size requires her to rely on others for some proper help (and not just keeping her supplied with a constant stream of Cosmos). Nguyen is decent enough, playing her character with thin-lipped resentment until she gets to eventually drop the facade completely and let out some anger. Cirino is the villain of the piece, which is fairly obvious from the very beginning, and it’s interesting that his worsening behaviour is shown as an increased and more overt level of manipulation and gaslighting, basically just an amplification of how we have seen him act in every main scene at the start of the film. Lisa London, Frankie Cullen, and Jaret Sacrey play three scientists who inadvertently cause, and try to solve, the plight of our lead, and they provide a number of moments that may make easily-pleased viewers chuckle slightly. I chuckled slightly, once or twice.

This isn’t a good film. It isn’t made very well. It isn’t one I can imagine ever rewatching. But it works as an amusing enough distraction, a throwaway bit of fun that once again allows Wynorski to make use of a premise in a way that will best allow him to film some busty women cavorting around onscreen. Is it art? No. It feels like everyone onscreen probably helped out as much behind the camera, perhaps for the promise of some time spent in sunshine with snacks and drinks provided. But not all movies have to be art. Some just help you waste an hour with your brain switched off. This did that. Which means it did exactly what it set out to do.

4/10

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Zombies Vs. Strippers (2012)

Missing the boat by a good few years (after previous movies like Zombies! Zombies! Zombies AKA Strippers Vs. Zombies, the really rather good Zombie Strippers! and the more recent Strippers Vs. Werewolves), Zombies Vs. Strippers only has two things going for it in the shape of the gorgeous Adriana Sephora.

If you're wondering what the plot is then . . . . . . . . . . . . you clearly didn't read the title in the post heading. It's zombies vs. strippers, that's all there is to it. Some other people appear to add to the number of potential victims, the owner of the strip club is having money problems and some personalities clash with each other but most of the time things manage to circle back to focus on those zombies vs. strippers.

The script by Kent Roudebush, Nick Francomano and Alex Nicolaou isn't that good and it's not really made any better by Nicolaou's direction. Even at just under 70 minutes - the runtime is listed on IMDb as 75 minutes but that includes the credits, the main content of the movie itself is just under 70 minutes - the film still manages to outstay its welcome. There is some blood on show and some gratuitous nudity, which helps (especially when it shows off the gorgeous Adriana Sephora . . . . . . did I happen to mention that I found her quite attractive?), but nothing that makes up for the lack of proper fun and wit. There's even a lame Michael Jackson gag in there. Good grief, isn't there a sell-by date on those?

I never expected the acting to be any great shakes and, unsurprisingly, it isn't. Circus-Szalewski is okay as the stressed owner of the business, Tanner Horn is slightly irritating as a DJ stuck in his own drugged haze, Adam Brooks is okay as Spike, J. Scott is okay as Marvin the doorman and Brad Potts is the best of the lot as Red Wings, an ex-biker who has done a lot in life to make up for his past sins. Amongst the ladies we have Eve Mauro as Sugar Hills, Victoria Levine as Bambi and Brittany Gael Vaughn as Vanilla. And I may have already mentioned the gorgeous Adriana Sephora as Jasmine.

I know that this review may sound harsh but it's not meant that way, really. Any time that someone comes up with a movie premise that pits a group of attractive and scantily-clad women against dangerous foes I am very receptive to the idea and always want them to do well. They can't all be winners though, and this is a film that can't even drag itself up to an average rating. Despite the presence of, in case I didn't emphasise it enough already, the fine and lovely Adriana Sephora.

4/10

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