Rampage (2018)

Say what you like about Dwayne Johnson, the man can do silly action spectacle with an admirably straight face (well, an arched eyebrow or pec twitch notwithstanding). He knows that he's not going to be called upon to do anything too serious, not yet anyway, and he most often stays comfortably in his wheelhouse. That might sound like I'm being a bit condescending and snooty but I'm really not. I enjoy seeing Johnson in most movies, he even tries to do his best in dross like Baywatch, but he excels at action fare, and he can sell some of the most ridiculous cinematic moments in recent years without viewers throwing their hands up in disgust and giving up on the movie. Who else could believably grab a speeding missile and turn it back towards enemies that were trying to kill him?

Rampage, loosely based on the videogame that I even managed to enjoy on my old, rubber-keyed, Spectrum 48K, is silly action spectacle. There's the main plot itself, a large albino gorilla is turned into a HUGE albino gorilla, with some anger issues, and there are also another couple of big creatures heading towards Chicago to cause massive amounts of destruction as they go on their . . . rampage. There are also the plot details, silliness wrapped in tech-speak to try and make it all sound plausible. You may think the conversations about genetic manipulation and pathogens are laughable, because they are, but they do the minimum required to kickstart the plot and explain events, as long as you don't think about what has been said as you move on to the next scene of entertaining destruction. And, if you need even more silliness, there's a moment that sees Johnson trying to use a damaged helicopter to surf/hover his way down a collapsing tower.

Johnson is very much at ease amidst all of the preposterous set-pieces, emanating his usual charisma and souped-up muscle power. He spends a lot of the runtime alongside Naomie Harris, who does well to avoid being overshadowed while she delivers most of the exposition in between the thrills, and the two human stars are overshadowed, but not literally, by some impressive CGI beasties. Jeffrey Dean Morgan gets to be amusingly charming and ambiguous as the man who is hoping to clean up the debris and capture the creatures, and Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy are the humans who need to weigh up their self-interests alongside the carnage.

Director Brad Peyton previously delivered this kind of Johnson-led spectacle with San Andreas, so we know that he CAN give audiences what they want (well, he kept me happy enough), but there's something here that's a bit lacking. I still found enough to enjoy, I was entertained enough by the scale of the destruction, but maybe having to incorporate enough little nods to the original videogame was enough to detract from a more simplistic slice of fun. Yes, I realise that I just accused Rampage of not being simplistic enough. It took four writers to make this. Four. To write a script that turns that classic videogame into a mainstream blockbuster.

Still, it's better than Battleship.

6/10

The blu can be bought here.
Americans can buy it here.

April Fools: Cottage Country (2013)

Tyler Labine spends some time in a cottage in the middle of some woods, and death starts to have a field day. Yes, it should be clear to anyone who has seen the cover art for this movie that one or two people wanted to profit from the goodwill heaped upon the excellent Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil.

Labine stars as Todd, a young man who is planning to propose to his loved one (Cammie, played by Malin Akerman) during a romantic weekend at his family's cottage. Unfortunately, his brother (Dan Petronijevic) turns up, accompanied by his crazy girlfriend (Lucy Punch). Tensions quickly rise, leading to bloodshed and a situation that quickly spirals from bad to worse.

Although there's a fun cast here, all trying their hardest, there's just something about Cottage Country that stops it from every becoming a good film. Perhaps it's because we've all seen this kind of material done a number of times before, and done better. Perhaps it's because of that horrible feeling that people are just trying to wring more money from fans of Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil. Or . . . . . . perhaps it's just not good enough, with the tension never really feeling that tense and the comedy never being that funny.

Labine is as likable as ever, and Akerman is someone I tend to enjoy onscreen (she's gorgeous, and game for a laugh), but nobody else really makes a great impression. Petronijevic and Punch are saddled with portraying two extremely annoying characters, which makes their scenes hard to enjoy, and Benjamin Ayres, Kenneth Welsh, Nancy Beatty and Sabrina Grdevich just don't get enough to do.

Writer Jeremy Boxen fails to mix in any surprises, or good enough jokes, while director Peter Wellington does nothing to help strengthen the desperately-in-need-of-strengthening material. Everything is put together competently enough, but the film just never takes off.

If you like the leads, as I do, then you'll be able to get some amusement from this, but it's a below average effort that I can't imagine anyone listing as a favourite.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cottage-Country-Blu-Ray-Kenneth-Welsh/dp/B00EYVFHY0/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1396988320&sr=1-1&keywords=cottage+country

27 Dresses (2008)

I can't help thinking whenever I see Katherine Heigl in a movie that she's somehow going out of her way to annoy as many people as possible. She's pretty but also comes over as pretty irritating and, worst of all, she has a knack for picking some of the worst projects that she could work on. Her knack for picking crap is actually uncanny.

In 27 Dresses she plays a young, successful woman named Jane who just loves being the bridesmaid and looks forward to one day when she will be the bride. She loves the joy and celebration of THE BIG DAY and, as you might have guessed, has kept all of her 27 bridesmaid dresses. She also happens to be in love with her boss (played by Edward Burns) but he takes a bit of a shine to her sister (the lovely Malin Akerman) and then there's a writer (James Marsden) who is intent on annoying Jane while also trying to find out more about her.

Directed in a completely by-the-numbers fashion by Anne Fletcher and written by Aline Brosh McKenna, 27 Dresses is the kind of movie that women can easily enjoy without giving too much thought to. But when any thought IS given to it the whole thing starts to look inept and ugly.

The cast have little to no chemistry. I don't really find Heigl that enjoyable to watch onscreen nowadays, after so many poor vehicles, and Edward Burns is inoffensive but has all the charisma of a grain of brown rice. Malin Akerman is usually someone I like but her character here is selfish and unpleasant, making her as unappealing as the others onscreen. James Marsden tries his best, and does well, but there's too much working against him. Thankfully, Judy Greer has fun playing the one decent character who is always fun to see onscreen - she's Jane's friend and gets the few decent lines that the script has.

So what's so inept and ugly about it? Well, the lack of chemistry between anyone makes the forced meetings and interactions feel even more false than usual. The motivations of the characters also, quite frankly, stink on most occasions. If those things don't bother you then take a moment to consider that the central, overriding, message is all about a successful woman with a great life feeling that nothing is complete without her marrying a man. Oh, I know that you can dig around through the layers of various romantic movies (be they comedies or serious films) and find the same, or very similiar, central idea but it's just so horribly blatant here that it's yet another aspect that makes Heigl in the lead role pretty unlikeable. She's a doormat, an easily cajoled and flighty woman who just wants to be a bride. That used to be the only thing that 10-year-old girls would spend their time thinking about back in the 1950s. Times have changed since then, maybe someone needs to tell Anne Fletcher and Aline Brosh McKenna (which is a harsh thing to say because McKenna has written a number of screenplays a LOT better than this sorry effort - but it makes my point).

Then that same person could try to save Katherine Heigl from herself, though I fear it may already be too late.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Chick-Flick-Triple-Dresses-Happens/dp/B0029TQW70/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1345931309&sr=8-3

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

AKA Harold & Kumar Get The Munchies.

I am, as many people already know, a fan of dumb comedy. But the finest dumb comedy also has an intelligence to it that lurks behind any bad taste gags and profane language. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle is one such movie. I may always have a soft spot for the woefully underappreciated Dude, Where's My Car? (and, no, I'm not being sarcastic) but this movie has grown a little more enjoyable with each viewing and it's one I've finally decided that I really like.

There's plenty here to love or loathe, depending on your taste, as Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) head off into the night in search of the perfect treat that will satisfy their munchies. Danny Leiner, who also directed that "Dude..." movie just mentioned above, does a fine job of making the best of the script by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg and is helped immensely by the cast. Cho and Penn are likeable enough leads, even if the latter is a bit of a pain in the backside at times, and there are a lot of great little turns from David Krumholtz, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Fred Willard, Ryan Reynolds, Anthony Anderson, Christopher Meloni (almost stealing the show), Malin Akerman, Gary Anthony Williams and Neil Patrick Harris (who DOES steal the show).

So what are the main ingredients included to tickle the funny bone? Well, there are plenty of jibes at racism, a chance encounter with some bizarre hillbilly types, moments of Neil Patrick Harris being a completely brilliant and OTT "Neil Patrick Harris", some overzealous policemen and a couple of lively critters causing some stress and more.

There are plenty of great snippets of dialogue throughout and the film has a nice line in surreal lunacy that weaves throughout proceedings without ever unbalancing the whole thing. Throw in a groovy soundtrack, a small helping of gratuitous nudity and the potential satisfaction of seeing our plucky underdogs actually come out on top and you have a fun flick that will offend some people while easily entertaining others.

Is it worth your time? Well, it's not worthless.

8/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Harold-Kumar-Get-Munchies-DVD/dp/B0007ZD72Q