Doom Asylum (1988)

Doom Asylum is not a very noteworthy film. It’s a cheap ‘n’ cheerful slasher that throws any sense of believability or logic out of the window early on and the death scenes range from the careless and ineffective to the impressively bloody. But there are still things to enjoy, especially for the less discerning slasher movie fan.

It starts with a man (Michael Rogen) and a woman (Patty Mullen, making her feature film debut) driving along in high spirits. And then they crash. The woman dies, the man ends up horribly disfigured and on a mortuary slab, where he scares some workers by sitting up and being decidedly not dead, despite looking very much like he should be. Fast forward a number of years and there’s a group of young(-ish) folks heading to an abandoned asylum for a good time. They include the daughter of the woman we saw die in the opening scenes (also played by Mullen), which makes our killer very interested in them. Oh, there’s also a trio of females already in the asylum, making “music” and not looking to welcome anyone else to their private practice area.

There’s a lot to laugh at here, both deliberately and accidentally, and director Richard Friedman certainly tries to keep things moving along swiftly enough to distract from the many negative aspects (such as a lot of the acting on display and the inanity of much of the script, by Rick Marx). The characters are generally quite irritating, which is more of a problem during the first third of the film than it is once the killing really gets underway, the killer is neither menacing enough to make things tense nor amusing enough to make things funny, and the audio levels are all over the place, an obvious side-effect of the superquick shooting schedule (this was a film shot in days, not weeks).

Mullen does well (although her finest hour was just ahead – Frankenhooker) but it’s also the case that she seems a lot better in contrast to the rest of the group; Kristin Davis (who tries hard but can’t overcome the lines fed to her by the script), William Hay, Kenny L. Price, and Harrison White. Rogen has fun as the baddie, no matter how good or bad his mask is looking in each scene, and Ruth Collins manages to compensate for her dialogue and delivery with a great dollop of attitude informing her every moment.

You could close your eyes and find at least 20 movies better than this, whether you're browsing online or scanning your own movie collection, or reading a book about the slasher flicks of the 1980s. But that doesn't stop this from being a fun experience, mostly for all the wrong reasons . . . but sometimes for the right ones.

6/10

You can buy the blu here.
Americans can get it here.

April Fools: Frankenhooker (1990)

Directed by Frank Henenlotter. That should be all you need to know. If you only see one film in your life that involves a loved one who is killed in a tragic accident involving a lawnmower, a man who uses trepanning as a way to relieve the pressure in his head, and prostitutes putting themselves in danger by using explosive supercrack then that film had better be Frankenhooker, my favourite Frank Henenlotter movie.

James Lorinz plays Jeffrey Franken, a happy, if unbalanced, young man. He's always meddling with stuff int he name of science, but he's in love with Elizabeth Shelley (Patty Mullen). That's why Jeffrey reacts, ummm, badly when his beloved is turned into a chopped up selection of body parts by a lawnmower. Determined to bring his loved one back, Jeffrey realises that he will need a selection of body parts. And he then realises that if he has a selection of parts he can not only rebuild his love, but also make her even better. That's when the prostitutes and explosive supercrack comes into play. And that's also when a badass pimp named Zorro (Joseph Gonzalez) makes it his business to know Jeffrey's business.

If you've not seen a Frank Henenlotter movie then shame on you. In fact, rectify that now. Right now. Go on. I'll be here when you get back. Watch either this movie or Brain Damage, or Basket Case. Heck, Bad Biology may be far from his best, but it's still defiantly a Henenlotter flick, so feel free to also check that one out. He does wonders with low budgets, and bags of energy and creativity, and Frankenhooker is a cult horror comedy gem. The script, co-written by Henenlotter and Robert Martin, is the best that he's ever worked with, balancing the gross with the offbeat with the downright hilarious, and the direction is solid. The man has never been aiming to emulate Brian De Palma, preferring instead to just get down and dirty with his camera shots, and valuing entertainment above anything else.

It's hard to decide on who is better onscreen. Lorinz is very funny, going wildly over the top as the young "mad scientist" desperate to resurrect his loved one, while Mullen indulges in some fantastic mugging as the titular creation (she's only onscreen for a moment or two in her pre-death incarnation). Gonzalez is suitably mean as Zorro, there are lots of women willing to get nude and pretend to be prostitutes, and everyone does what is required of them.

Despite the (seemingly) ridiculous nature of the premise, this is pretty sharp and sly stuff, at times, and is also packed full of references to the classic Frankenstein movies by James Whale. It's entertaining from start to finish, and I'll never lose my love for it. Even if my wife rolls her eyes every time she notices it sitting there on my movie shelf.

9/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frankenhooker-Blu-ray-James-Lorinz/dp/B005QW2RMQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391527434&sr=8-1&keywords=frankenhooker