See No Evil 2 (2014)

It's not often that you get your hopes up for a horror movie sequel, but that's what happened here. This sequel follows on directly from the events of the first film. Many corpses have been found at a major crime scene, including that of an eyeball-gouging killer named Jacob Goodnight (played, once more, by Glenn Jacobs AKA Kane). The bodies are taken to a city morgue, as expected, but that morgue is actually full of some young revellers all helping young Amy (Danielle Harris) to celebrate her birthday. It's not long until Goodnight manages to get up off the mortuary table, and the death toll starts up again.

Written by first-timers Nathan Brookes and Bobby Lee Darby, the main draw here, apart from certain cast members, was the fact that Jen and Sylvia Soska were hired to direct this film. Having enjoyed both of their previous features, I was hoping they could do something fun and interesting with a thin, tired premise. Unfortunately, the weak script really leaves them little to work with, and the only real fun to be had is during the first 20-30 minutes. Once the killing starts, it all starts to slide downhill.

Kane is still a decent choice for Jacob Goodnight, with his obvious physical presence and ability to break most people in two with minimal effort. Harris is okay in her role, she's been a fan favourite for years and makes up for her standard genre acting range with familiarity and likability. Katharine Isabelle, playing a friend, and reveller, who has a bit of a fetish for psycho killers, is much better, but she's not onscreen for long enough. And then there's Chelan Simmons, who I always tend to enjoy in horror fare, mainly because she often plays characters who add a bit of fun or humour to the proceedings. The men fare far worse, with only Kaj-Erik Eriksen making a good impression, playing a colleague who has a crush on Harris (completely understandable). I'll mention Greyston Holt, Lee Majdoub and Michael Eklund, but I won't waste my time trying to think of anything positive to say about their performances, although they're far from the worst that I've seen acting in the genre.

What really sinks this film is just the disappointing lack of energy. Even the kills aren't very memorable or inventive, something that the original film at least tried to get right. If you have a slasher movie without any impressive death scenes then what's the point? Does it get some stuff right? Yes. The Soska twins are competent enough to put together some polished camerawork and stylish moments, but that's about it.

If you like Kane, Harris and Isabelle then this is worth a watch, but only just. If you dislike any of those performers then I recommend just leaving this one well alone. Because they're the main plus points in a movie that's otherwise insipid and uninspired.

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/See-No-Evil-2-Blu-ray/dp/B00M6X9ZI2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412881347&sr=8-1&keywords=see+no+evil+2

Yes, I went for this picture to accompany the review. And I'd do it again, I tells ya.

See No Evil (2006)

From the opening sequence of See No Evil it's clear that director Gregory Dark and writer Dan Madigan know the basics of slasher movies. Yes, everything kicks off with a traumatic incident that took place a few years in the past. The killer is glimpsed, a potential hero (Steven Vidler) is maimed, and a clear M.O. is shown. As the film plays out, it becomes clear that these men want viewers to have fun without thinking too much about how ridiculous the whole thing becomes. I don't feel too bad about that, many slasher movies throw logic and common sense out of the window as soon as people start to get killed off, but it's a shame that they didn't just make a bit more effort to tidy things up and create something a bit easier to buy into.

Glenn Jacobs is Jacob Goodnight, a killer who likes to pluck out eyes. If you don't know who Glenn Jacobs is then you'll probably know of his wrestling persona, Kane. Yes, this is a movie sold almost purely on the fact that it stars Kane as an eye-plucking psycho. But who would be silly enough to be in the vicinity of such an unfriendly fellow? Well, it's a bunch of young offenders, given the chance to earn some time off their sentence by cleaning up an old hotel. Unbeknownst to them, Goodnight is in that hotel and the years haven't mellowed him.

Fans of Rachael Taylor may enjoy the fact that she's one of the young offenders in this movie. She gets a decent bit of screentime, even if she doesn't particularly impress during any of her scenes. Vidler is much better, but he's also given a more interesting character to play - a cop with an injury to permanently remind him of his encounter with Goodnight. From the group of youngsters assembled to play the other killer fodder/young offenders, Christina Vidal, Penny McNamee, and Luke Pegler do enough to stand out, ever so slightly, from the group. Kane is great though, and his lumbering, vicious killer makes this worth a watch. Admittedly, he doesn't have to do much besides appear behind people and then cause them to die suddenly, but he has a talent for it.

People start to disappear quite quickly, with nobody realising that they're gone for far too long, so just bear in mind that it's THAT kind of slasher movie. The deaths are a mixed bag, as is the CGI that often accompanies them. The computer work may be overdone, and practical effects would have been better to give this more of a fun, old school feel, but it's hard to hate it when it's being used to help make moments of nastiness even nastier.

Horror is a huge umbrella, which means that we fans often take a LOT of bad with the good. This will never be a favourite of mine, and I'm unlikely to revisit it, but I'm sure there are others who will get a lot more pleasure from it. It's perfectly fine for what it sets out to be, a horror vehicle for Kane. For anyone not wanting to watch a WWE slasher flick . . . . . . well, there are literally thousands of other movies for you to choose from.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/See-No-Evil-Blu-ray-Kane/dp/B0027VTMAO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412713744&sr=8-1&keywords=see+no+evil+blu+ray

Haxan: Witchcraft Through The Ages (1922)

Haxan: Witchcraft Through The Ages is a stunning work of art, a piece of horror entertainment that everyone should watch at least once. Director Benjamin Christensen originally set out to make a documentary, but that remit soon changed as he came up against resistance from many of the experts he was asking to participate, resulting in a film that blends fact and re-enactments with some haunting imagery to draw a line between the past and the present.

Divided up into a number of chapters, Christense beings by reminding people of what constitutes a witch, as well as what people believed many years ago, when witchcraft was something that seemed to be found lurking behind the closed doors in every street. He then moves on to some dramatic sequences, the majority of the movie, that show witches getting up to no good, women being accused of witchcraft, torture being used to extract false confessions, and the way in which the tormentors of the time would often use one victim to find many others.

I won't spend much time going on about the acting on display here, although it's worth mentioning the elderly Maren Pedersen, a woman who gives both a great performance, and also a great anecdote that ended up being incorporated into the movie.

What I have to go on about here, and on and on and on, is the quite amazing visuals on display. Using old techniques that have stood the test of time very well, Christensen and his team provide viewers with such sights as witches flying through the sky (of course), the devil allowing his followers to kiss his behind, terrifying creatures guarding doorways while witches have their fun indoors, and much more. Even when not being so fanciful, the camera shows a number of interesting, and horrifying, artworks, and also shows numerous torture devices that were used to extract confessions from those accused of witchcraft.

But the real masterstroke here occurs in the final few minutes, scenes in which Christensen reminds everyone of just why it's important to look back at the past and see what lessons can be learned. He asks people to take note as he shows a number of disturbing, and effective, parallels between the then and now, highlighting the fact that such superstition and mistreatment of certain members of society isn't consigned to history.

The labels may have changed, we all might be wearing new clothes and have access to new torture devices now, but the essence remains the same. People can still look around for scapegoats, quick to forget about others who may need their attention while they embark on their witchhunts. Which makes this movie just as relevant today as it was back in 1922.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Haxan-Criterion-Collection-Benjamin-Christensen/dp/B00005O5CA/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1413024989&sr=1-1&keywords=haxan

You may also find a variety of versions available on YouTube, due to the fact that it fell into the public domain some time ago.

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Boogeyman 3 (2008)

Much like the first movie in this series, Boogeyman 3 has an interesting idea at the heart of it. It's just a shame that the idea is hampered by the dull script from Brian Sieve and the pedestrian direction from Gary Jones. The end result isn't completely horrible, but it's bland and uninteresting from start to finish.

Nikke Sanderson plays Audrey, a young woman who happens to be the daughter of a main character killed off in Boogeyman 2. Unaware of exactly what went down when her father died, Audrey ends up taking ideas from some of his writing that she discovers. Which means that it's not long until the boogeyman comes along. The film then moves to focus on Sarah (Erin Cahill), the actual lead character for the rest of the movie. Sarah is a student, the host of a radio show, and someone who loves to help others in need. When Audrey catches up with Sarah and explains her recent boogeyman-related experiences, Sarah does her best to help. That's not enough, however, and people soon start dying all around Sarah.

There are times when Boogeyman 3 feels like some reworked Elm Street movie, without any impressive gore FX or a decent main character. That's not to say that it's a bloodless affair, it's just neither inventive nor gory enough to make any lasting impression on horror fans.

Cahill is okay in the main role, yet I can think of at least a dozen other actresses from the world of indie horror who could fill her shoes. Mind you, she has more presence than anyone else onscreen, so her being picked for the lead role is no coincidence. The rest of the cast feels so bland and homogenous that I can't even be bothered to highlight any other performances. Oh, there are different character types, for sure, but they all end up just being the same young folk who may or may not meet a sticky end.

There's nothing else worth highlighting either, apart from the last 10 minutes, which provides both a satisfying conclusion to events, and also an unexpected appearance from Jayne Wisener (a young actress best known for her work on some British TV shows).

If you managed to sit through the first movie, and then managed to get through the second movie, there's nothing here so bad that you won't be able to find it passable enough to complete your trilogy viewing (as I did).

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/Triple-Feature-Boogeyman-Barry-Watson/dp/B003UN0752/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411851034&sr=1-1&keywords=boogeyman

Shivers (1975)

While this may not be the first feature film from writer-director David Cronenberg, it's very much the film that put him on the map as a major talent in the field of horror. Not everyone was impressed with Shivers when it was released, there was some famous outrage from one or two noted critics of the time, and it's easy to see what some found so offensive about it. But it's also easy to see just how assured Cronenberg always is when it comes to mixing the cerebral with the visceral.

The basic plot concerns an invasion/infection of parasites in an apartment block that turns the residents into unabashed, lusty, animalistic beings. This doesn't sit well with anyone uninfected, but it's far from the worst thing that a parasite can do to you, which allows it to spread quite quickly, as more and more people are seduced by those acting under the spell of the parasite. One man (Roger St. Luc, played by Paul Hampton) discovers the full reality of the situation, and tries his best to save the residents before it's too late.

With a heady mix of sex, death, and body horror, this is classic Cronenberg, in terms of the ideas being explored. While not as polished and intriguing as the many movies he would go on to helm, it's a fascinating premise, mainly thanks to the fact that the people infected in the movie seem to go on to have quite a good time of things. I mean . . . . . . . . it's a parasite that basically boosts your sex life, if you find enough other carriers.

Hampton isn't too bad in the lead role, but Cronenberg always seemed to be more concerned with his ideas than the actual acting in a number of his early movies. Allan Kolman and Susan Petrie are both pretty good as a husband and wife, with the former showing the transformative effect of the parasite while the latter worries about just how best to help her ill partner. Joe Silver is another level head amongst the madness, and Barbara Steele has a small, but memorable, role that should please her fans. But it's Lynn Lowry who makes the biggest impression, with this being one of a few movies from this era that really allowed her to shine in the horror genre. She plays a nurse here, helping Hampton to try and gain control of the situation, and she's allowed to take turns at playing cute, strong, scared, and sexy.

Not the best parasite movie. Not the best Cronenberg movie. Not the best horror set in an apartment block. But Shivers remains a unique, and creepy, experience, perhaps due to the fact that Cronenberg identifies more closely with the infected than anyone else onscreen. Well worth adding to your viewing schedule and your collection.

8/10

Get this Arrow release (Region B only) ASAP - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shivers-Dual-Format-DVD-Blu-ray/dp/B00KHSM936/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1412886620&sr=1-1&keywords=shivers

Blood Glacier AKA The Station (2013)

Although you could view it as little more than a rip-off of The Thing, Blood Glacier (AKA Blutgletscher, Glazius, and The Station) is still well worth your time for two main reasons: the great practical effects and the intriguing subtext that becomes clearer and clearer as the film winds towards its climax.

Gerhard Liebmann plays Janek, a researcher based with a team out in the Swiss Alps, who discovers the glacier of the title. It looks like it has blood running down it, but that turns out to be a liquid responsible for affecting and changing anything it comes into contact with. Anything affected by the liquid then affects anything else it comes into contact with, and so on and so forth, leading to a ripple effect that could cause a major change to our entire ecosystem. And this is all figured out while Tanja (Janek's ex-partner, played by Edita Malovcic) is en route to the research station with some very important visitors accompanying her.

Written by Benjamin Hessler, and directed by Marvin Kren, Blood Glacier is a film happy to both wear its influences on its sleeve and also take some time to build up to an enjoyable third act. That's not to say that it's too slow for the first half of the film. On the contrary, a couple of the main characters are nicely sketched out in between moments of grue and/or tension that punctuate the proceedings. It's unfortunate that so many other people who appear onscreen aren't given the chance to make more of an impression, but at least the two nominal leads are interesting enough to want to stay beside.

Liebmann is fine in his role, portraying a character who has chosen to stay in such an isolated area due to some personal events in his past that he's never faced up to. He's an angry man, either drunk or hungover to hell in his first few scenes, but he's also the first to realise the seriousness of the situation and think about possible solutions without caring about any of the financial/political ramifications for the research centre. Malovcic comes into the movie a bit later, but starts to make a good impression from her very first scenes. Brigitte Kren, Felix Romer, Hille Beseler, and Peter Knack (and also a dog named Santos) are just some of the other cast members making up the group of unfortunate people stuck too close to the blood glacier. Most of the supporting players are quite interchangeable, with the notable exception of Kren, who also happens to be the mother of director Marvin. Whether he gave her the best role he could, or whether she just proved the best for the part, doesn't matter. What matters is that she's wonderful as a tough, older woman who starts trying to help set up some kind of defence, even while processing the whole situation.

It may not be the best horror movie you see all year, but Blood Glacier is neatly put together by a director who clearly loves the main influences that he's working with. And let's not underestimate the pleasure to be derived from watching some fun practical effects cause havoc onscreen.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Glacier-Gerhard-Liebmann/dp/B00KD64JB2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412200456&sr=8-1&keywords=blood+glacier

The Phantom Carriage (1921)

Victor Sjöström wrote and directed this early horror movie, based on a novel by Selma Lagerlöf, and it easily holds up today as a classic that should be seen by all fans of the genre. What it lacks in modern bells and whistles, it more than makes up for with some rich atmosphere and a feeling that care has actually been taken in adapting the material for the screen.

Sjöström also stars as David Holm, a man with a bit of a drinking problem, to put it mildly. As the movie begins, viewers are shown a dying woman (Edit, played by Astrid Holm) and then scenes that feature David and his current drinking buddies. Edit wants to see David one more time, before she dies, but he's not the easiest man to find. Especially while he's regaling some people with an enjoyably spooky story. It's almost midnight on New Year's Eve, and David is reminded of what his friend, Georges (Torre Svennberg) used to say. The last person to die in any year has to spend the next year driving the titular phantom carriage. Georges used to become scared of everything on New Year's Eve, which makes his death, almost exactly one year ago, fairly ironic. It turns out that the tale of the carriage is true, and Georges IS the driver. But that doesn't stop him visiting David again, resulting in an unforgettable night involving many memories, a lot of pain, and death.

While it may seem slightly crude and simple to modern audiences, The Phantom Carriage is an enjoyable piece of work. The special effects from the time still hold up well enough to carry the story, and the structure of the screenplay is surprisingly sophisticated, with numerous flashbacks building up a big picture that brings everything together just in time for a satisfying finale.

If Sjöström impresses as both writer and director, I have to admit that he's also not too shabby acting in the main role. The man's no slouch, whatever hat he's wearing. Holm is good enough as Edit, although her character is so often dying or suffering emotionally, and Svennberg is very good as Georges. Hilda Borgström portrays the woman who married David, and loved him for many years before drinking started to affect their lives, and she does very well, portraying her character as tough, but often at breaking point.

Very reminiscent of A Christmas Carol, The Phantom Carriage is a spooky story with a valuable moral lesson at the centre of everything. Many scenes show nothing more than standard domestic drama, but there's always an atmosphere of fear creeping through most of the main sequences.

Despite how good it is, there will still be people who just don't give it the time it deserves because of it being a black and white, silent movie. Don't worry about those people. Be sure to watch The Phantom Carriage when you have the chance, and leave them to keep their blinkers on.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Carriage-Criterion-Collection-Blu-ray/dp/B0056ANHSQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1412703728&sr=1-1&keywords=the+phantom+carriage

Or you could also check it out on YouTube right HERE.

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Night Of The Big Heat (1967)

Based on a novel by John Lymington, Night Of The Big Heat brings together a few main Hammer stalwarts (although it's NOT a Hammer film) for a slice of sci-fi horror that's enjoyable enough, even if it feels like everything could have been improved by bringing the talented Nigel Kneale on board.

Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing have two of the main roles, which is really all you need to know. Oh, if you MUST know more then I'll tell you. The film is set on a remote island, Fara, and everyone is getting a bit hot under the collar due to an inexplicable spell of hot weather. REALLY hot weather. The locals have a variety of explanations for the insufferable heat, but the truth may be even stranger than they could imagine. Meanwhile, Jeff Callum (Patrick Allen) finds himself in a bit of a pickle when a woman that he once had a passionate affair with (Angela Roberts, played by Jane Merrow) turns up on the island and tells his wife (Sarah Lawson) that she is to be Callum's personal assistant. Which causes temperatures to rise even further.

It's Terence Fisher in the director's chair, and Ronald Liles on screenplay duties, so I have no complaints with the technical side of things here (well, apart from the special effects in the last third of the movie, but I'll refrain from saying any more for fear of spoilers). Everything is competent, at the very least, and actually builds to something worthwhile and interesting, after a slightly wobbly start. The characters are introduced in a way that will have many modern horror audiences rolling their eyes and/or laughing aloud, but as relationships are more firmly established, and the strong sense of community is draped over everything, it all becomes easier to enjoy and get caught up in.

And then we have Messrs Lee and Cushing, two fine gentlemen who add bonus points to any project that they're involved in. I may be a big fan of Lee, but I'll watch Cushing in absolutely anything. Watching the two men work together is always an absolute delight, and their performances here more than make up for the relative weakness of Allen in the lead role. Merrow and Lawson also help, portraying two very different women who both seem too good for Allen (well, until he steps up in time for the finale). Kenneth Cope is always good to see onscreen, but that's simply down to my affection for the old seasons of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) that I used to watch.

What works against Night Of The Big Heat is the fact that it doesn't actually allow any of the characters to make much headway until a rushed, and sometimes preposterous, third act. Some may complain about the pacing, but I have no issue with that. This isn't a film full of jumps and shocks. It's about a small island that finds itself dealing with something strange, something that may have repercussions for the rest of the world, and it just wouldn't be believable if everyone raced along at a pace more in line with city dwellers.

An easy film to recommend for fans of the talent involved, but it won't necessarily become an instant favourite.

7/10

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Boogeyman 2 (2007)

I can't, in all honesty, say that Boogeyman 2 is a GREAT horror movie. But I can easily say that it's quite a step up from the first movie. In fact, apart from one main connection, you could happily avoid the painful experience of watching the first film and just skip straight to this one.

Danielle Savre plays Laura Porter, a young woman who decides to check into the mental health facility that seemed to do so much good for her brother (Henry, played by Matt Cohen). Laura and Henry were scarred many years ago by a traumatic night that led to the loss of their parents. As Matt heads off to start rebuilding his adult life, Laura puts herself in the hands of Dr. Jessica Ryan (Renee O'Connor) and Dr. Mitchell Allen (Tobin Bell). Unfortunately, it's not long until a number of her fellow patients start dying, and in ways that seem tied to their deepest fears. Is the boogeyman real, or have one of the doctors decided to try more radical methods of treatment?

While the script by Brian Sieve is simply competent, and the direction by Jeff Betancourt is perfectly fine, Boogeyman 2 actually manages to impress with one or two moments of real nastiness. The dressing may be standard, sanitised stuff, but the death scenes here are sometimes wince-inducingly painful, which is all the more surprising considering the blandness of some other aspects of the film. The supporting characters are a mixed bad, and it's hard to care for most of them, the facility always feels like a horror movie set as opposed to a real building (like, for example, those many horror movie hospitals that never have more than one or two staff working in them at night), and the final act revelations will neither surprise nor impress full-time horror fans.

Savre is fine in the lead role, I guess, but it's the supporting cast that provides more fun for movie fans. The appearance of Bell, of course, immediately makes him a prime suspect (due to his prominent role in the Saw franchise), but O'Connor also plays up to the fact that her character could be good or evil, simply because all of the adults disbelieving younger characters with legitimate fears can be viewed as potential baddies in a movie series that has shown how far things can be affected by the fear of fear itself. Then we have Mae Whitman and Johnny Simmons as two patients, the former unable to stop her habit of cutting herself and the latter suffering from OCD relating to hygiene. They both stand out, making the film much more enjoyable than it otherwise would have been. The same, sadly, can't be said for Christine Griffith, Michael Graziadei, Lesli Margherita, or any of the others that I may have already forgotten. Cohen does okay, but he's not onscreen long enough to make much of an impression either way.

If, like me, you never thought of checking out the sequels to the awful Boogeyman then it may be worth reconsidering your stance. You're not missing out on too much if you never watch this movie, but it's an easygoing bit of entertainment if you have 90 minutes to fill and you're in the mood for something undemanding and gory.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Triple-Feature-Boogeyman-Barry-Watson/dp/B003UN0752/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411851034&sr=1-1&keywords=boogeyman

Sugar Hill (1974)

When her boyfriend is murdered by a group of gangsters, the sexy and tough Sugar Hill (Marki Bey) intends to get her revenge. She enlists the help of Mama Maitresse (Zara Cully) and Baron Samedi (Don Pedro Colley), which leads to a number of problematic deaths for the gangsters. It's hard to think of Sugar as being the one responsible, but it's also harder to imagine that there might be zombies, and other voodoo practices, being used as particularly effective dispatchment methods. The deaths certainly stump a cop named Valentine (Richard Lawson), who also seems to carry a torch for Sugar, which is understandable.

Written by Tim Kelly, and directed by Paul Maslansky, Sugar Hill is a bit of a minor classic thanks to the way it successfully straddles both the horror genre and the blaxploitation boom of the '70s. Unlike some other attempts to blend the two (there have been many bad examples, and a few good ones), this gets everything just right in a way that will please fans of both movie types. There may be few actual scares, but each death is a fairly enjoyable set-piece, with viewers getting a real feel for the dread that the potential victims experience. As outlandish as the premise is, Kelly grounds the horror/supernatural elements in a standard blaxploitation environment that feels easily believable, albeit easily believable in a movie world way. Maslansky treats the script as a handy guideline, moving between the darker scenes into the bright, colourful moments that show Sugar going about her daily business.

Bey is great in the title role, touch and sexy and smart. She's someone that you root for, making the movie all the more satisfying as one death leads to another and another, until you know that there's only the head baddie (Robert Quarry) left to be dealt with. Speaking of Quarry, he's a very entertaining villain. Ruthless, cool, and always sending his men along to do work that saves him from getting his hands dirty. Betty Anne Rees makes a great impression as his partner, a woman who may now have lots of disposable income, but wouldn't ever buy a touch of class, even if it was in a half-price sale. Lawson also makes a great impression as the caring cop who just knows that something is wrong with the recent deaths he ends up investigating. Cully is suitably mystical and mysterious as Mama Maitresse, but Colley is the other big draw here, playing Baron Samedi as a powerful, sly, amused, magic man who likes to stay close enough to those who ask for his help and see how things pan out for their victims. He's a man-child, laughing at flies trapped in a spiderweb.

Cool, and also a bit kitsch nowadays, this isn't a film you necessarily want to spend too much time putting a label on. It's fun, first and foremost, and that's the main thing. If you haven't seen it yet, then be sure to bump it up the list of prioritised viewings. I'm glad that I did.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Hill-1974-Marki-Bey/dp/B000CQCROE/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1412110707&sr=1-3&keywords=sugar+hill

Witching & Bitching (2013)

If you're unfamiliar with the name Alex de la Iglesia then you may have missed out on some of the most entertaining Spanish movies in the last two decades (and, yes, I am aware of how much competition those movies have). The man has given audiences one near-classic in The Day Of The Beast, one full classic in The Last Circus, and one of the best films that too few people have heard of, Perdita Durango. He also directed Accion Mutante, as well as quite a few others (that I've not seen yet, but am looking forward to getting to at some point).

And this film. Yes, Alex de la Iglesia definitely directed this film. You can tell within the first few scenes, mixing his usual healthy sense of humour with some decidedly twisted material. He also co-wrote the movie with Jorge Guerricaechevarria, and the two men once again decide to run with some entertainingly wild ideas.

Hugo Silva plays Jose, a man whom viewers first get to see dressed up like Jesus. He then takes part in an armed robbery, accompanied by a man made up to look like a toy soldier (Antonio, played by Mario Casas) and his young son. It soon becomes clear that Jose feels he was driven to this act by a sense of desperation, but while the three robbers flee from the police and think about their actions they end up heading towards a village full of witches. It's going to be an eventful night, to say the least.

I expected Witching & Bitching to be a lot of fun, and it was. There were witches, and there was a fair bit of bitching between the main characters. What surprised me, however, was the fact that this also spent a fair bit of time commenting on male emasculation in modern society. The fact that this commentary takes place around characters who often act like complete idiots saves the movie from feeling like a bitter rant against women, but only just. Perhaps I'm being charitable, so consider this fair warning to anyone more incensed by such "battle of the sexes" content.

Silva is constantly charming in the lead role, even as his character is displaying such major flaws from the opening scenes. Casas is a lot of fun, and the two men play off each other pretty well. Young Gabriel Angel Delgado is a lot of fun as Sergio, the young lad dragged along by his irresponsible father, and Jaime Ordonez is great as the driver of a cab hijacked by the fleeing criminals. As for the female characters, Carolina Bang is the star of the show. She plays Eva, a young, attractive witch who finds herself distracted by the appearance of Jose. Macarena Gomez is understandably on edge throughout most of the movie, being the ex-wife of Jose, and the mother of Sergio, and she gives a great performance. Terele Pavez and Carmen Maura complete the main cast, with the former acting senile and bemused before trying to attack people with sharp metal dentures, and the latter treating the whole night as one big potential dinner party. Carlos Areces also shows up, in a small but memorable role (and I felt I had to mention him because of his prominence in other movies from De La Iglesia).

Most genre fans will enjoy this a lot. It's quirky, visually stylish, mixes some decent action beats in with the supernatural shenanigans and humour, and the characters are all fun to spend time with. The special effects veer between the impressive and the amusingly clumsy (e.g. some shots of two women scurrying around on a ceiling look like test footage rejected by the Harry Potter movies), but that's the only technical complaint I have. Yet it doesn't come together as it should. Somehow, unlike his other movies, this feels a bit forced. Despite one or two bravura sequences in the final third of the movie, the second half feels like De La Iglesia trying desperately to make a De La Iglesia movie. I much prefer his output when he works harder to make it appear effortless.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Witching-Bitching-Pepon-Nieto/dp/B00LTKTINK/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411769623&sr=1-1&keywords=witching+and+bitching

The Church (1989)

Directed by Michele Soavi, The Church is, allegedly, an official sequel to the Demons movies. I'm not sure who decided that, considering that it bears very little resemblance to those other films, beyond the superficial similarities (e.g. some people in a building, and some demons causing problems).

The plot is much more reminiscent of Prince Of Darkness, dealing with a group of people in a church who are unfortunate enough to witness something truly evil arising. Perhaps. There's a priest (Hugh Quarshie) who might be able to help good triumph over any demonic attack, a couple of scholarly, but not old and dull, folks (Tomas Arana and Barbara Cupisti) who might also be able to help, if they're not too busy making eyes at one another and putting themselves in potential danger, and there's a young girl (Asia Argento) who knows a secret way in and out of the church that might just prove useful at some point.

The strangest thing about The Church is that it feels so dull, despite the fact that so much wonderful imagery is thrown around in the second half of the movie. There's a decent amount of gore, some real nastiness, and an air of sleaziness that fans of Italian horror should enjoy. This is the sort of movie in which you can feel the clammy presence oozing from every dark crevice of the featured building while also feeling the hot, uncomfortable looks that certain characters give to others as they come under the influence of evil.

Quarshie is pretty solid in his role, while Arana and Cupisti both make for decent potential leads until they're somewhat sidelined in the third act. Argento doesn't have to stretch herself, and is just fine, while genre fave Giovanni Lombardo Radice also joins in with the fun, accompanied by Feodor Chaliapin Jr, Antonella Vitale and Robert Caruso, among others.

Soavi's direction is as fluid and stylish as usual, and the screenplay (by Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini, and Soavi, as well as a few other helpers) tries to set everything up seriously, but makes the whole thing just that little bit absurd. The opening sequence alone feels like an outtake from Monty Python And The Holy Grail, and that's before you get to the scenes that show people talking about the history of the church and what discoveries might be made there AKA the laughably clumsy exposition moments.

But there's gore, death, lust, a score that uses Goblin, Philip Glass, Keith Emerson and Fabio Pignatelli, and some memorable imagery. Which is often all you need from these movies.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Church-Hugh-Quarshie/dp/B000TZJCMS/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411850939&sr=1-1&keywords=the+church

Theatre Of Blood (1973)

Vincent Price stars as a wronged Shakespearean actor, named Edward Kendal Sheridan Lionheart, in this comedic horror that brilliantly heaps the macabre upon the macabre with every subsequent sequence, and also allows Price to portray a number of roles from many of those classic Shakespeare plays.

It all starts with the death of a critic, a single murder that the police investigate with little idea of the motive. When other critics start to die, however, it quickly becomes clear that all of the people have something in common. They all have their own little clique, and they've all greatly upset (to say the least) an actor they thought had died some time ago. But Lionheart isn't dead, and his flair for the theatrical means that those critics are going to help him realise perhaps his greatest repertory season yet.

Directed by Douglas Hickox, Theatre Of Blood benefits enormously from the fun script by Anthony Greville-Bell and the magnificence of such a great ensemble cast. That's not to take anything away from Hickox, who shows such great judgment in the way he treats the material, leading viewers deeper and deeper into territory that becomes surprisingly unpleasant in tone while also making it all just bearable enough to amuse and horrify in equal measure.

Price is the star of the show, and oh how he shines. He gets to recite many famous lines, dress up as a variety of characters, and simply revel in the inspired lunacy of his character in a way that's infectious whenever he appears onscreen. Diana Rigg is lovely and suspicious in the role of his daughter, a woman who resents all those who she thinks drove her father to his death. And Milo O'Shea and Eric Sykes are both enjoyable enough as two of the main police officers trying to stop more brutal murders on their patch. But it's in the casting of the critics that the film gains more bonus points. Michael Hordern, Robert Morley, Arthur Lowe, Coral Browne, Jack Hawkins, Dennis Price, Harry Andrews, Robert Coote and Ian Hendry all prove to be great entertainment, portraying a bunch of smug, nasty critics who don't seem entirely undeserving of their fates. Hendry is the man who pieces everything together, and helps the police to see just what's going on, but everyone gets at least one great scene apiece.

Price considered this film a personal favourite and it's not hard to see why. He always wanted to stretch his wings a bit more, but was so solidly typecast in the prime of his career that it wasn't to be. This film allowed him to stay within the genre that had won him such a loyal army of fans, while also letting him deliver so many great speeches that he would otherwise not had the chance to perform onscreen. It's a win win situation for the star and his fans, making this a film that you won't want to miss.

9/10

This is the disc I recommend purchasing - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Theatre-Blood-Blu-ray-Vincent-Price/dp/B00IJE1QU2/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1411828432&sr=1-1&keywords=theatre+of+blood

ABCs Of Death 2 (2014)

When The ABCs Of Death was released a couple of years ago I was very excited. Then I watched the film. One or two segments weren't great, but that was alright as they were short enough so I knew that another one would be along in a minute. Then more segments weren't great. And more. And a few more. The film just managed to hit an above-average rating, but it was a real wasted opportunity, in my opinion. Of course, the whole idea behind the movie makes it hard to maintain any consistency - as a variety of directors are given one letter of the alphabet, a set budget, and the creative freedom to do whatever they like.

Thankfully, and somewhat surprisingly, ABCs Of Death 2 manages to well and truly make up for the disappointment of its predecessor. There's still that unavoidable uneven feeling at times, but none of the segments truly stink (in the way that the ironically-named "F for Fart" did, for example). And almost every punchline is either disturbing or hilarious, or both.

Frustratingly, I can't say much more about the film. Part of the fun, as it was the first time around, is trying to figure out what word the directors have gone for. I thought that the first segment, for example, would be called "A for Assassin". It's not.

With a roster of talent that includes Larry Fessenden, those Twisted Twins (Jen and Sylvia Soska), Vincenzo Natali, Bill Plympton, Robert Morgan, Julian Barratt, Julian Gilbey, Juan Nartinez Moreno, Steve Kostanski, Hajime Ohata, Alexandre Bustillo, and many more, this is almost as well-travelled as the first movie. I say almost, however, because there seemed to be a bit of a predominance of British talent involved this time around. Maybe that was just the luck of the draw, maybe it was for financial reasons, or maybe I just noticed the Brits more than the other nationalities involved. Either way, I was pleased to see such good representation from the UK.

Highlights, without giving away any title names, include segments A, B, C, D, J, Q, R, S, T, Y and Z. Yes, I know those letters will mean nothing to you right now. You'll just have to watch the film and find out which ones you agree with me on, if any.

Varied in style - you get some animated shorts, one black and white segment, some that are haunting and sedate, and some that are ramped-up shots of sheer viscera - this is an anthology movie that really does have something for everyone. You'll laugh, you'll wince, you may even be stunned once or twice, and you'll be alphabetically entertained throughout. And it's a perfect viewing choice for the run up to Halloween. Check it out, help it to be a success, and who knows . . . . . . we might just get a third outing that's just as good as this one.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/ABCs-Death-2-Ian-Virgo/dp/B00O40EEE0/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1412422687&sr=1-2&keywords=abcs+of+death+2

Boogeyman (2005)

Boogeyman is just rubbish. Sometimes I can't be bothered stretching out a review to say what I can just blurt out in one quick sentence. But I've still got some unofficial word count to reach, and you may still want to hear a bit more about it, so I'll kick myself up the backside and think of other things to say about this insipid disappointment.

After a decent prologue, I'll give it that, we then get to move forward by many years. Barry Watson is Tim, the adult version of the child who went through such trauma in the previous scenes. Tim remains seriously affected by that incident from his youth. He doesn't like dark closet spaces, and remains convinced that the boogeyman is a real thing that might just catch him one day. Everyone else spends time trying to convince him of how wrong he is and, of course, it turns out that he's right.

There's a germ of a decent idea here in Boogeyman, a seed in the script (written by Eric Kripke, Juliet Snowden and Stiles White) that is, sadly, given minimal attention and care until it gives up and dies.

Director Stephen Kay can't seem to grasp the technical side of things. He forgets to make his horror film actually scary, and instead throws in some godawful CGI and scenes that show the lead character being all brooding and tense. By the time a few scenes try to impress in the final third it's just a case of too little too late.

Watson isn't a strong leading man either. He's not awful, I guess, but he fares much worse here than he did in the comedy framework of Sorority Boys. Perhaps that's because he's not given much screentime with anyone else, apart from the dodgy CGI. There IS a supporting cast of characters, but they're either not given enough screentime (Skye McCole Bartusiak), aren't that likable (Tory Mussett), or aren't given much to do at all (Emily Deschanel).

Heck, even Darkness Falls was better than this, and I really don't like Darkness Falls that much. The similarities between both movies are obvious, and the two of them make for a depressing checklist of how not to make a modern, mainstream horror movie. Laziness, carelessness and an over-reliance on CGI moments are things to avoid. Unfortunately, nobody is passing that advice along to the many directors out there. Or, if they are, then it's going unheeded.

Boogeyman at least spawned a couple of superior sequels, so there's that minor miracle to be thankful for. And you can watch those movies without having to see this one.

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Triple-Feature-Boogeyman-Barry-Watson/dp/B003UN0752/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411769313&sr=1-1&keywords=boogeyman

You know how you can make me feel better for watching this crap? If you share and share then every additional reader helps. Connect through Google or Blogger or any way you can, and rest easy in the knowledge that you've made little ol' me a very happy man.

And/or you could also buy my e-book, that has almost every review I've written over the past 5 years. It's very reasonably priced for the sheer amount of content.

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.