Mubi Monday: A Couch In New York (1996)

A rom-com so strange that I am not entirely sure whether or not it is actually working as both a traditional type of film within the sub-genre and also some kind of knowing satire of the form, A Couch In New York nevertheless works any way you decide to take it.

Written and directed by Chantal Akerman, who developed the main story with Jean-Louis Benoît, what you have here is an apartment swap between a psychoanalyst (Henry Harriston, played by William Hurt) and a Parisian dancer (Béatrice Saulnier, played by Juliette Binoche). Both are seeking an escape, and both find themselves fascinated by the alternate lives the vicariously step into. Harriston struggles to deal with the messy chaos he discovers, but Ms Saulnier finds herself quickly growing to enjoy the role of substitute psychoanalyst when people turn up for appointments that they won't let her cancel.

Absolutely ridiculous once things start to play out, with both of the leads barely having time to adjust before the mistaken identity antics begin, there's something wonderful about just how this juxtaposes attempts at real with and intelligence with tropes that were already well-worn by this point. Hurt and Binoche bring a certain class to the proceedings, in a manner of speaking, and they have a good connection between them, but they have to work through scenes that have misinterpretations of cross-over talk, prolonged fakery stemming from an inexplicable inability to simply tell the truth and clear up any misunderstandings, and even a dash to catch a flight in the final act.

You could also check off some other very familiar rom-com elements throughout the course of the film. There's a cute pet, supporting characters who provide either help or obstacles (Anne, played by Stephanie Buttle, is a friend to Béatrice, while Dennis, played by Paul Guilfoyle, tries to advise Henry), some other people who pop in and out of the story long enough to help the main characters consider how they are acting, and that airport run.

I'm not meaning to sound like I am disparaging the rom-com at all when I say that Hurt and Binoche bring a certain class to the proceedings. I am just giving my own view of both leads. The rom-com is a type of film easily looked down on, and dismissed, by far too many people, but a terrible one will remind you of how much work it takes to make the great ones . . . great. Just watch Leap Year to see what I mean. No, don't watch that. Anyway, back to the cast here. The leads are great, although Hurt seems more ill-at-ease in his part than Binoche seems with what she has to do, and Guilfoyle adds some fun. Buttle has very little to do, which is fine when it allows for an extra minute or two of Richard Jenkins doing his stuff (he's a patient who comes to lie on the couch and discuss his problems).

Akerman knows what she's doing, as does everyone in front of the camera, but the end result somehow manages to feel both comfortably familiar and yet also slightly skewed. However you end up feeling about the film, it's an interesting viewing experience.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: I See You (2019)

What starts off as a fairly routine, perhaps even substandard, thriller soon turns into something much more interesting by the time you get to the second half, and I am happy to highly recommend I See You to everyone who enjoys a film with some decent twists and turns.

It starts with the abduction of a young boy. This leads to Detective Greg Harper (Jon Tenney) diving into a case that feels very similar to one that everyone thought was all wrapped up. And missing teens aren't the only thing troubling Harper, as he deals with problems at home, mostly in the shape of infidelity committed by his wife, Jackie (Helen Hunt), and the anger this has stirred up in their teen son, Connor (Judah Lewis). There are also two other important characters, Alec and Mindy, but they come along later on, so I won't be focusing on them just now.

A big step up from director Adam Randall's previous movie (the disappointing iBoy), I See You works so well thanks to the script from first-timer Devon Graye. People may be a bit disappointed during the opening scenes, with the first half of the film playing out in a way that implies a supernatural element some won't want to accept, but patience is rewarded in a back end that is loaded with enjoyable revelations. Graye plots everything tightly enough, making the less believable moments easier to swallow as he starts to tighten the coiled spring you know will be loosed by the finale.

A lot of scenes feature some nicely "floating" camerawork, accompanied by a brooding score, that maintains the feeling of characters being watched by something in the house, be it an intruder or some kind of supernatural force. The conversations between various characters all feel loaded with much more than just the words being said, and that's even more apparent when viewers are given a different perspective on things.

Although Hunt is the big name at the heart of the cast, this is very much an ensemble piece. Tenney is an imposing presence throughout, and it's easy to stay on his side for a lot of the runtime, considering what he's dealing with, while Lewis is allowed to play his character as a teen with plenty of anger that is absolutely understandable. Owen Teague and Libe Barer are Alec and Mindy, respectively, and both give great performances, although it is Teague who ends up carrying a lot of the responsibility for how you ultimately react to things, his character arguably going through more changes than anyone else. Gregory Alan Williams does very well as the other detective, Spitzky, who wants to find out what the hell is going on with this new case of missing kids bringing a dark past crashing back into the present, and Sam Trammell has a small, but pivotal, role in the proceedings.

One to watch before you read too much about it, trust me when I tell you that you should end up satisfied with this one if you trust the people guiding you through the twists and turns. It has some great tension, it has some thrills, and it has an emotional core that, once revealed, feels very plausible and completely earned.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Wind (2018)

A horror Western that keeps two female characters at the front and centre of everything, The Wind is an interesting movie that mixes well-crafted scares with a character study that shows viewers a strong, pained, female character being taunted and terrified by a supernatural force.

Caitlin Gerard is Lizzy Macklin, a woman who lives in an isolated part of the American frontier with her husband, Isaac (Ashley Zukerman). They end up gaining some neighbours, Emma (Julia Goldani Telles) and Gideon (Dylan McTee), and things seem quite pleasant, if occasionally tense. Lizzy ends up trying to be helpful when everyone finds out that Emma is pregnant, but the characters are living during times that are far less forgiving to any problems in pregnancy. Which leads to Lizzy being left alone for some time, and having to confront something that doesn't want her to have any peace.

Although not ever quite as good as it could be, The Wind has a lot going for it, not least of which is the fact that this was written and directed by two women, both of them making their feature debuts, in the world of fiction film anyway. Director Emma Tammi has previously co-directed and directed a couple of documentaries, while Teresa Sutherland here makes the leap from shorts to a full feature, even if her writing here seems to expand upon The Winter, a short film that she both wrote and directed back in 2012. I've not seen that, but there's certainly a similarity in the plot summaries available online. Regardless of their respective past achievements, both director and writer seem very much in simpatico here, with Sutherland providing a thoughtful chiller that doesn't skimp on moments of full-on horror genre entertainment while Tammi overlays everything with visuals that show the kind of sparse beauty of the American West of this time, also getting the timing and visuals of the scares perfectly balanced to please horror fans without disrupting the earthy tone of the movie, a tale that never lets you forget the only thing keeping the main character from the dark danger outside is a wooden house and a small fire.

Gerard is very good in her role, understandably on edge for many scenes without ever taking her performance to the level of hysteria. Telles is also very good, and gives the air of someone who may want to have, or keep, a secret (although maybe she's just happy to be in a MUCH better film than Slender Man). Zukerman and McTee both do fine as the menfolk, neither one as supportive as he could be to either of the women, and Miles Anderson is a highlight as The Reverend.

So many Westerns are directed by men and about men. It is, like so many other genres (and, arguably, the whole world of film), an area so dominated by males that it's easy to forget just how many more interesting tales we could have, simply by switching the focus to the many women who also have to go on some difficult journeys. That's the biggest plus point for The Wind, in my view, but I wouldn't be heaping praise on it if it didn't get the horror genre elements right. It does though, and holds up as a title to recommend ahead of many others I have seen so far this year.

8/10

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The Grudge (2020)

Here we are with another take on The Grudge, a movie series that has been going on now, in some incarnation, for about twenty years. I have loved most of the movies in the series, from those I have seen, and hoped for the best from this, despite hearing some pretty scathing reviews. Sadly, it's a whole big pile of nothing.

Shown in the series-standard non-linear style, the basic story concerns a Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough) and her young son, Burke (John J. Hansen) being affected by the cursed house. She is working with a Detective Goodman (Demián Bichir), who saw his partner (Detective Wilson, played by William Sadler) driven to madness by the house. There's also a tale of a young couple (John Cho and Betty Gilpin) going through some major horror, and an elderly couple (Lin Shaye and Frankie Faison) who show some terrible sights to someone visiting to discuss assisted suicide (Jacki Weaver).

Written and directed by Nicolas Pesce, The Grudge feels like a movie written by someone given a summary of the previous films, but no direct experience of them. There's no impressive atmosphere here, no consistency in the way scares are built, or delivered, and generally not much that makes it feel like a film in the series. The juggled chronology quickly becomes annoying, especially as it all leads to a finale that absolutely underwhelms.

Without intending to offend most of the people onscreen, the casting doesn't help. Riseborough is a particularly cold nominal lead, and her scenes with Bichir are quite abysmal. She fares better with Sadler,who is a definite highlight. The scenes involving Shaye, Faison, and Weaver are the best in the film, mainly due to their comforting familiarity, but both Cho and Gilpin are wasted in their story strand, as much for the sad inevitability of it all as for the lack of any solid scares.

Considering the films he has done before this, I am even struggling to figure out why anyone would think Pesce a good fit for the series. He seems to specialise in mood and strangeness, which may have been marked in his favour, while The Grudge does best when full of palpable dread, punctuated by major shocks.

And, as lame as this may sound, this take on the material also underuses some other strengths, namely some fantastic audio and visuals that have given fans goosebumps for years.

Very disappointing. You would be better going back to revisit the many other interpretations, sequels, and tangents that the series has had since the start.

3/10

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Brainscan (1994)

Horror movies have always incorporated popular trends, and have always had fun with hobbies and interests that have been used as scapegoats by some scare-mongering news outlets. Whether it's the dangers of heavy metal, the perils of watching other horror movies, or videogames. And Brainscan is one of a number of movies to remind you that videogames are a corrupting influence on the youth of today. Well, the youth of the early 1990s, which means Edward Furlong.

Furlong plays Michael, a young man who ends up getting a CD-ROM of a game that allows him to commit violent crimes without fear of any real consequences. Except there does end up being consequences. Encountering a figure, The Trickster (T. Ryder Smith), who steps out of the screen, Michael finds himself in real danger. There's a detective (Hayden, played by Frank Langella) on the trail of a killer, and a young woman (Kimberly, played by Amy Hargreaves) who could become the next victim.

Written by Andrew Kevin Walker (yes, the man who would give us Seven just one year later), Brainscan is one of those horror movies that gets almost everything wrong. It desperately wants to make a memorable character with The Trickster, but fails, and none of the big plot points are as nasty and violent as they should be, which leaves the whole thing feeling far too take, especially for those who would have been the target audience for this in 1994.

Director John Flynn just doesn't have any handle on the material, as weak as it is, and makes a lot of wrong decisions. Had The Trickster been a better character then focusing on him would have been a good move, perhaps even giving him some more screentime (although he gets plenty), OR there could have been an attempt to make things even more complex between Langella's detective and Furlong's character, who keeps appearing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Considering how much better Langella is than anyone else in the movie, that could have greatly improved things.

Furlong is okay in the main role, but he's not someone I usually consider the best first choice for any role, and that is also the case here. He does what is asked of him though, moving from cocky teen to scared victim as it becomes clear that he may have actually committed crimes that will get him a hefty prison sentence. Langella is so good in his role here that I wish he'd been given similar roles in many other horror movies from about this time. In fact, I can't deny that I imagined a little fantasy universe in which Langella got the John Saxon role in the Elm Street series, and I wasn't disappointed. Smith is lacking a special quality needed to help make his character more entertaining, while both Hargreaves and Jamie Marsh (as a friend named Kyle) don't get time to make any strong impression.

Fun to watch once as a kind of relic from the 1990s, Brainscan isn't one that you should ever be too bothered about having missed off your viewing schedule. If the opportunity arises, decide whether or not you want to give it your time. It's quite poor, but it's not absolutely awful.

4/10

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Prime Time: City Hunter (1993)

I had somehow not seen City Hunter, despite being a big Jackie Chan fan, and despite being aware of it as "the one in which Jackie Chan appears in one scene as Chun Li". Having now seen it, I now know why I never got around to it. It's not really worth bothering with, and is really built up from all of the worst parts of Jackie Chan movies (horrible jokes, worse dialogue, and not enough action).

Chan plays Ryu Saeba, a cocky detective who spends his time chasing women and trying to look cool. He also looks after a relative of his dead partner, and regrets the promise that he made to not hit on her. Ryu is hired to track down Shizuko Imamura (Kumiko Goto), the daughter of a wealthy businessman, and ends up on a cruise ship that's about to be taken over by terrorists (headed up by Richard Norton).

Written and directed by Wong Jing, based on the popular manga, City Hunter aims to be a light and enjoyable bit of entertainment from the very beginning, with Chan explaining some backstory and his character directly to the camera. Perhaps if they'd decided to keep that style throughout then this would have been a better film, but things move into more traditional narrative style, although you often get punchlines to moments that feel like an obvious wink or smile to viewers.

Chan is saddled with the worst character he has ever played onscreen, in my experience of his filmography anyway, and cannot do enough to overcome the general cloak of douchebaggery that he has to wear throughout. It's still great to watch him when he fights, which doesn't happen often enough, but his dialogue is even more cringe-inducing than usual, with most of his sentences either being sexist, creepy, just outright irritating, or horribly homophobic. I get it. The humour is different. It should still make people laugh though, and I really don't see how anything here would do that.

Joey Wong has to pout and stamp her feet as Kaori Makimura, the young woman who was essentially raised by Ryu after the death of his partner (yes, there's extra creepiness in their relationship that we're just supposed to ignore), but Goto gets to do a little bit more with her role. Norton is a scenery-chewing villain, as you want in these movies, and Gary Daniels gets to enjoy a couple of good moments as his main henchman. Leon Lai plays a gambler on the cruise ship who has exceptional skill with playing cards, and both Chingmy Yau and Carol Wan add to the complement of beautiful women given rather thankless roles in the film.

There ARE a few good fight sequences, including one that has Jackie emulating a set-piece from Game Of Death as that film plays on a big screen behind him, but not enough to warrant sitting through the worst parts of this film. The plotting is awful, there's never a feeling that anything is really at stake, the humour falls flat, and I cannot recall the last time I watched a film with such an unlikeable central character. I did enjoy that Street Fighter sequence though, even if I knew I'd end up seeing Chan as Chun Li.

4/10

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Aquaslash (2019)

Written and directed by Renaud Gauthier (who previously gave us the enjoyably demented Discopathe), Aquaslash is a film advertised as a fun throwback to '80s slasher movies. It's not. It's really not. What it is, instead, is a brief distraction (the runtime is only 71 minutes) with an impressive set-piece late in the day that you need to decide is either worth your time or not.

I'm not going to pretend to have cared about any of the cast, so you'll not get a breakdown of the various acting performances, but there IS a story to tell. Things start with a death at a waterpark. It's all very ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma, then it's on to life at the waterpark, which means people having fun in between displaying their dislike of others. You see the different groups, you get the obvious red herrings, and everything builds towards that killer finale. Who is responsible though, and what is their motivation? Sadly, the answer to both of these questions will leave most viewers cold, as nothing is done in a way that actually comes close to the films it is trying to emulate.

First of all, most of the classic slashers start off with a decent kill or a tragic accident (one that motivates the killer, of course, as they are either the direct victim or driven mad by the tragedy). Although this starts with a kill, it's not impressive enough.

Second, start the bodycount. Some slasher movies pace themselves, some quick kills here and there on the way to the big reveal of all the corpses in the third act, and some just go all out to provide a constant stream of gore and bloodshed. Aquaslash forgets this factor, with almost a whole hour between proper kills.

Third, you usually have a cast full of potential victims and suspects. This doesn't. The cast all do their job - Nicolas Fontaine, Lanisa Dawn, and Brittany Drisdelle are the nominal leads, in my view - but they aren't allowed to have any fun in a way that puts them on a par with their counterparts from decades ago. Which means viewers struggle to have any investment, in terms of connection or simple entertainment value.

Gauthier has good intentions, which is all clear when you get to the absolutely superb final set-piece, but it's hard to think how someone can attempt to use the classic slasher template and end up with something so far off the mark, and lacking a proper sense of fun.

5/10

Mubi Monday: Matthias & Maxime (2019)

Xavier Dolan is sickeningly talented for someone so young. Seriously. I have now seen a fair number of his movies. They may not all be outright winners, but they are very impressive for someone who looks to be about twenty years old.

Matthias & Maxime is all about friendship, but it is a very different look at the strong bonds that form between close friends. This may not be in the same ballpark as something like Chuck & Buck, but it is certainly close enough to hear the crowd roar and smell the aroma of the various snacks.

Gabriel D' Almeida Freitas is Matthias, best friend of Maxime (Dolan). Maxime has various struggles. He has gone through life with a large birthmark on his face, is constantly battling against the will of his ill mother (Anne Dorval), and generally doesn't seem to have things as sorted and balanced as Matthias. All of that changes when the two young men agree to star in a short film, and end up in a scene where they share a kiss.

Brilliantly handled by Dolan, who is once again writing, directing, AND starring in his work, Matthias & Maxime moves from one exploration of friendship and love to the next, whether it is the ramifications of the kiss, the arguments that Maxime has with his mother, or just the different dynamics that come about when our two leads are in the company of others, sometimes while settled and sometimes while wanting to bring underlying tension to the surface.

Both Dolan and Freitas do very well in their roles, each one going on a different, but no less emotionally turbulent, journey. Freitas has the moments that could make him harder to like, but the script always tries to give an idea of bad behaviour stemming from confusion and/or pain. Dorval makes a very strong impression in her few scenes, highlighting another way in which loved ones can hurt one another. There are others in the cast, all doing good work, but this central trio do most of the lifting of the material.

Another excellent film from Dolan, who has already created a body of work more impressive and mature than many who have decades of experience ahead of him, this should please fans of his work. And anyone new to his filmography could easily start here and figure out if they want to see more of his stuff.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House (2016)

Oz Perkins has now made three movies, one of which I have yet to see. His directorial debut, February AKA The Blackcoat's Daughter, is one that many people stumbled across, only to find that they were very impressed by it. It was an atmospheric work, one that jumped around time and space, piecing together a puzzle that revealed a spooky and sad picture.

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is another atmospheric work, and also jumps around time and space, AND ALSO pieces together a puzzle that reveals a spooky and sad picture. It shows Perkins to be more confident in his abilities, and more confident in the patience and abilities of anyone viewing his film.

Ruth Wilson plays Lily, a nurse who ends up working in the home of Iris Blum (Paula Prentiss). Iris has written some enjoyably creepy work, but Lily doesn't normally read such stuff. She's too easily scared. But she decides to check out something that Iris wrote, something that she thinks may be tied to the real history of the house in which she has found herself.

Dark and oppressive, yet also light (thanks to the nature of the lead character), I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is a traditional ghost story in almost every sense, apart from the way in which certain scenes are lined up alongside one another. It's all very much on a par with the kind of atmospheric tales you know and love from Henry James and Shirley Jackson, but Perkins also does himself a favour by not including absolutely every trope and creaky door you might expect.

Wilson gives one of her best performances in the main role, and she never really does less than very good indeed in her work. She's there to do a job, to care for someone who has nobody else at her side, and she often walks through the house like some kind of illuminated will-o'-the-wisp. Prentiss has a lot less to do, the film belongs largely to Wilson and Lucy Boynton (playing Polly, another young woman who is inextricably linked to the house), but does just fine.

Perkins has a great knack for taking the elements of a particular subgenre and reshuffling them in a way that allows his films to feel both fresh and veritably overflowing with blood drained from many tales that have been told before. Perhaps not the best kind of film for those who have enjoyed some mainstream bumps and jumps, this should still strike a chord with horror fans who can enjoy a modern spin on some gothic melodrama and tragedy.

Beautifully constructed, nicely scored (by Elvis Perkins), perfectly cast (there's even a nice small role for Bob Balaban), and effectively spooky, this deserves to be seen and appreciated by patient viewers.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Bone Box (2020)

The only feature film, to date, written and directed by Luke Genton, The Bone Box is a slightly messy affair that doesn't quite make you forget the low budget. Yet there is definitely enough here to enjoy, and to mark Genton out as someone worth keeping an eye on.

The plot sees young Benji (Aaron Schwartz) in some dire financial trouble. So dire, in fact, that he has indulged in a bit of grave-robbing. Viewers don't have to see this macabre act, they are told of it as he discusses things with his friend, Elodie (Michelle Krusiec). Helping his elderly Aunt Florence (Maria Olsen), Benji may be an opportunistic and horrible scammer, or he may be genuinely trying to help out as he also attempts to dig his way out of a hole. Things get worse, and creepier, when Benji starts to suspect that he is being visited by the spirits of those he has robbed.

Let's not pretend otherwise here, there's more than a touch of The Conjuring and Insidious about the execution of this material. Genton peppers the film with a mix of subtle moments and enjoyable "boo" jump scared, the latter becoming more and more prevalent in the enjoyably busy third act, where more and more dangers are added to the mix and you know everything is due to bite the lead character on his ass, as it were.

Schwartz does a decent enough job in his role. He responds well to the moments that induce fear in his character, and he manages to be surprisingly easy to like for someone taken to a bit of grave-robbing. Krusiec is a very good co-star, being an excellent best friend, the type who can accept all your failings, but also try to warn you against making things worse. And Olsen, a familiar face to genre fans, has what I think may well be her best role yet, and one she relishes accordingly, in the form of the elderly aunt, blissfully ignorant of the worst things happening around her.

It is very much a "paint by numbers" horror movie, and those who aren't fans of the supernatural shenanigans we have had from the likes of James Wan and Leigh Whannell should just avoid it, but being so competently put together, even if a bit familiar and predictable to some, isn't terrible, especially when you have sat through so many lesser movies that try to do the same thing and fail.

7/10

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Sputnik (2020)

I don't think I have seen anything else from director Egor Abramenko, but I'll be looking forward to anything he does next. Which I guess already clues you in on my opinion of Sputnik, his feature debut. Co-written by Oleg Malovichko and Andrei Zolotarev (who both also co-wrote the very enjoyable Attraction, although Zolotarev seems to have confused IMDb by being credited there as Andrey Zolotarev - has to be the same person though, surely), this is quite possibly one of the best sci-fi horrors that I've seen in quite some time.

It's the early 1980s and two Russian cosmonauts find themselves in a bit of trouble. Upon landing, one has the misfortune of being a bit dead. The other, Konstantin (played by Pyotr Fyodorov), is clearly not quite himself. A young psychiatrist, Dr. Tatyana Klimova (Oksana Akinshina), is recruited to help Konstantin process all that has happened to him, despite the moments he can no longer remember. But there's something much more wrong with her patient than she could have imagined and when Dr. Klimova finds out just what is going on, well, she may struggle to find a solution that keeps Konstantin safe and keeps herself from being an insubordinate in the eyes of the man who brought her in to do her job (Colonel Semiradov, played by Fedor Bondarchuk).

As it is on the main movie advertising imagery, I don't think it's a major spoiler to say that Konstantin has come back from his space mission a changed man. That part of the movie is pretty much a given, and the opening minutes show this. Sputnik is not about any hidden secret, at least not in the usual way. It's about something very strange happening that people in power look to use in a way that is beneficial to them, and to hell with the consequences.

Akinshina is an excellent lead, her character established in her first scene (defending herself in front of a panel because she saved a patient by temporarily drowning them). She gives off just the right air of wanting to play the political game, within reason, but also not letting anything get in the way of her saving lives. Fyodorov may have a much lesser role (the film is less about him, and more about what has happened to him), but does well, and Bondarchuk is the kind of stern superior officer you expect to find in any '80s-set movie featuring Russian military.

Malovichko and Zolotarev do great work with their script, giving you plenty of standard genre beats while also adding a layer of palpable tension as our lead character realises just how much trouble she may get herself in if she tries to do the right thing. The details of the main "problem" are well-detailed, and everything is set up in the opening act to lead viewers through some twists and turns on the way to a cracking finale.

Abramenko does plenty to distract you from the fact that the film maintains a tight focus, and budget-friendly selection of limited sets. The space-set opening is short and sweet, and other locations are shown occasionally, allowing you not to feel too confined in the main area that has everyone working and observing Konstantin, and a decent amount of money has been spent wisely on getting some top-notch CGI onscreen. It feels necessary, but not overdone.

Something rarer and rarer nowadays, this was a film that I only started to notice when I saw others had marked it off their watchlist. I'm glad that it piqued my interest, and hope many other horror fans check it out. Superior genre entertainment.

8/10

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Lake Michigan Monster (2018)

Written and directed by Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, who also has the lead role, Lake Michigan Monster is a black and white cheesefest that many viewers may well end up outright hating. I really liked it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it may become a firm favourite. Which is odd, because I was slightly nonchalant as the end credits rolled.

Tews plays Seafield, the kind of old-fashioned sailor type who looks as if he enjoys the feel of saltwater splashing his skin and a good smoke of a pipe. Not at the same time, of course. Anyway, Seafield gathers together a team of people he hopes will help him capture the titular monster, a creature that killed his father some time ago. The team includes a former member of the Navy (Dick Flynn, played by Daniel Long), a sonar operator (Nedge Pepsi, played by Beulah Peters), and a weapons expert named Sean Shaughnessy (Erick West). As soon as they get close to potentially capturing the monster, the motives of Seafield are called into question.

With a budget that would probably make even make a young Robert Rodriguez turn pale, a plot as flimsy as service station loo roll paper, and no minimum standard required for any of the jokes zipping across the screen, this will be dismissed by many, or will torture those who give it a watch without being fully aware of what they are letting themselves in for.

Knowing is half the battle though, and if you know what this is then you can, I hope, sit back and enjoy something that has been put together with more love, care, and a desire to genuinely please viewers than a hundred slicker movies from the past decade.

Although a lot of the fun comes from the limited resources, and this requires Tews to either skirt around or emphasise those limitations, nobody involved acts as if they don't have to care about things. Which may seem like a small thing, but it really isn't (not when you think of movies with much bigger budgets that feel much less considerate to those watching).

The acting is in line with the overall tone of the material, the special effects are designed to get by on charm, rather than spectacle, and it's all plotted out in a way that feels nonsensical without making you feel irritated at the ultimate pointlessness of it all (somehow). I struggle to think of why I found this so endearing, while films made with similar intentions sometimes leave me rather cold, and I think it's simply that the humour works. It has a constant sense of absurdity that runs parallel to the central quest, with no individual gag being all that great, or memorable, but each one being added to the next to create a, well, a kind of mural of mirth.

The whole thing clocks in at just under 80 minutes, which makes it an easy choice to fit into your viewing schedule, even it's really 50/50 on whether you end up liking or disliking it. I hope you like it.

7/10

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Prime Time: Exhibit A (2007)

I had this found footage movie recommended to me by a friend. Don't let the same thing happen to you. In fact, just consider how much you really trust your friends.

I am being silly, of course. It was a recommendation I accepted willingly, and with enthusiasm, but I am going to balance things out now by warning others away from what I view as a highly flawed, and disappointing, viewing experience.

Bradley Cole is Andy King, an oddball head of a family unit of four (his wife is Sheila, played by Angela Forrest, his typical teen son is Joe, played by Oliver Lee, and his daughter, Judith, played by Brittany Ashworth). Everything is looking up. Andy is up for a promotion, which means the family will move into a new home, and their finances will receive a nice boost. If all goes well. Meanwhile, Judith is filming everything as she processes some confusing feelings and Andy constantly tests the patience of his loved ones with his constant mugging and attempts to make others laugh, no matter the cost.

Written and directed by Dom Rotheroe, developing an idea by Darren Bender, Exhibit A just doesn't manage to become really interesting or thrilling, and that's due to a number of reasons. First of all, the actual title and imagery used to advertise the film keys viewers in to the fact that something is going to go horribly wrong. Second, the script isn't good enough to distract anyone from the obvious plotting en route to a disappointingly predictable final act. It's also yet another one of these movies that doesn't really give a good enough reason for someone to be using the camera to record every main moment in their life.

Third, and separate from the other two issues, is the varying quality of the acting. Although nobody completely stinks up the screen, nobody feels as natural as they should. Cole is especially jarring, mainly as he is the focus of so many scenes, and has to carry the film on his shoulders, but Ashworth and Lee are hit and miss, while Forrest is the most believable of them all, as the wife who has to be the responsible adult of the household. Even then, however, the script requires her to be more oblivious to some obvious signs of things going amiss than any average person.

It's not a bad idea, especially with the very firm grounding in reality that is there for the first third of the film, but Exhibit A isn't entertaining enough to make up for its failings, and isn't gripping enough to make up for the lack of entertainment.

3/10

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Repossessed (1990)

Here it is, The Exorcist spoof you never knew you needed. Or wanted. It's strange to think that this was in UK video stores before The Exorcist itself was deigned suitable for British adults to view in a certificated video form in their own homes (you can look up the history of the film with the BBFC to see what I mean, although many horror fans will already know what I mean).

Anyway, written and directed by Bob Logan, this is a film that relies on two main bits of canny casting. First of all, Linda Blair plays Nancy Aglet, a woman who has her head turned by the devil. Second, Leslie Nielsen plays Father Mayii, the elderly priest who may be the one to save Nancy.

The story is all about Nancy, a married mother of two, becoming alarmed when she starts to utter profanities and spew pea soup. She asks for help from Father Luke Brophy (Anthony Starke), but this also brings her unwanted attention from two fake celebrities (played by Ned Beatty and Lana Schwab) who think they can cure her and get great ratings. Maybe the only one who can really help is Father Mayii, but he is reluctant to take the chance.

Logan throws everything he can at the wall here, and some of it sticks. You gets lots of obvious gags based directly on the source material (the "lick me" turn, as silly as it is, always makes me laugh), and you get lots of tangents, such as the scenes showing Father Mayii trying to get himself fitter and stronger. Unfortunately, the gags that miss the mark sometimes miss by a wide margin. Perhaps the worst moment has an incongruous rap interlude from Father Brophy, it's cringe-inducing to watch nowadays, but there are also a number of moments breaking the fourth wall that are never as witty as they think they are.

Kudos to Blair for accepting the role and having fun with something that derives comedy from her most famous performance, and Starke does well for a lot of his main scenes, but Beatty and Schwab are underused, while Nielsen is overused, often mugging and delivering his lines in a way that undermines the potential laughs.

Many people may still have fond memories of this spoof, but it doesn't hold up very well. The better gags still work, they just remain so few and far between, and nothing is done in a way that manages to distract from how cheap and careless it all is.

410

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Mubi Monday: Rescue Dawn (2006)

Written and directed by the always-interesting Werner Herzog, who turned the subject of his documentary "Little Dieter Needs To Fly" into a narrative feature, Rescue Dawn feels like one of the stranger Herzog movies, which is saying something when you consider his whole filmography.

Christian Bale plays Dieter Dengler, a German-born American citizen who is shot down in his aircraft during the Vietnam War. He ends up in a jungle prison, doing time alongside other individuals who have given up all hope of freedom until the war is won. Dieter is quick to start plans for an escape, despite the protestations of his fellow prisoners. The prison itself may not be that challenging to escape from, it's the jungle environment surrounding them that makes it a life-threatening challenge.

Things start off a bit wobbly here, to put it bluntly. Herzog depicts the downing of Dieter's plane in a way that shows him to be far less confident with a special effect sequence than he is with actors and ordinary people. But it's not long before things settle down after that, with the main character confused and pained by his captors.

Although I have said that this feels like one of the stranger Herzog movies, the reason for that is because it feels like his most mainstream film. It's a prisoner of war drama, and the moments that feel most like a prisoner of war drama are the moments that feel less . . . Herzogian, but there are also a lot of great little moments showing people handling their very extreme amounts of stress in different ways, and forging different connections with one another.

Bale is fantastic in the main role, giving the kind of performance that allows him to once again also change his physicality as he gets put through the wringer, and there are two superb supporting performances from Jeremy Davies and Steve Zahn. Both are very different in the way they handle their prison life, but both are equally good and fitting in their roles. And everyone else onscreen does decent work, whether they're portraying American military personnel or Vietnamese soldiers.

Despite the documentary already being out there (and I still need to see it for myself), it's easy to see why Herzog was drawn to the material for a second feature. Especially with this cast and the way it very much feels like a well-plotted Hollywood drama. I'm not sure how many liberties were taken with the original tale, but it turns into yet another standout film from a director who has given us more than his fair share.

8/10

Netflix And Chill: The Call (2013)

Despite what you may think, director Brad Anderson actually has quite a large and varied filmography. It's easy to think of him as just the man who gave us the excellent psychological horrors of both Session 9 and The Machinist (a film I find genuinely uncomfortable to watch because of how emaciated Christian Bale became for his performance), but he has been providing a lot of interesting entertainment for film fans over the past few decades. The Call is another one, and it's another very good one too.

Halle Berry is Jordan Turner, a 911 operator, and she makes a fatal mistake at the start of this movie that makes her want to take a step back from the role. She moves to an instructor position instead, but ends up taking over a call when a colleague is flummoxed by an intense call from a young kidnap victim (Casey, played by Abigail Breslin). Jordan does all she can to keep Casey safe, and to help her leave clues for the police to trace her, but the odds seem to be stacked against them getting the happy ending that they want. The kidnapper (played by Michael Eklund) seems to have planned everything perfectly, and he'll stop at nothing to achieve his ultimate aim, even if that means killing anyone who gets in his way.

Clocking in at just over 90 minutes (which includes the end credits), The Call is a slick and tense thriller, with some twists and turns that you can easily accept as it's all playing out, even if you then start to question things as soon as it's all over. The script, by Richard D'Ovidio, does very well in sketching out the few main players and leading you from one nail-biting scene to the next, and Anderson compensates for what could have been something dull to present (two people on either end of a phone call, albeit an important phone call) by keeping the camera and editing very . . . energetic, but without turning it into a headache-inducing shakey-cam-fest.

Berry does some of her best work in the main role, and she has just the right kind of attitude and tone to be very convincing as a 911 operator (I know, actors act, but Berry is much more suitable to the role than I thought she might be). Breslin has to be distraught for most of her time on screen, and she handles her role very well. Eklund is a good mix of pretend composure and complete psychopathy, and there are decent little turns from Morris Chestnut (as a cop), Michael Imperioli (as someone who notices something funny while the kidnapper is stopped at some traffic lights), and everyone else filling out the supporting cast.

It doesn't really do anything new, yet it also doesn't feel like something you've seen a hundred times before (despite the fact that you probably have), so that may be the biggest plus point for The Call. It's certainly reason to congratulate everyone who worked together to create such a well-crafted work of sustained suspense.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Random Acts Of Violence (2019)

I like Jay Baruchel. A lot. He's predominantly been in comedy movies for most of his film career, but the past decade has seen him stretch himself a bit, mainly with his writing and directing work on the Goon movies (he wrote the first movie, directed the second, gave himself a small role in both). And he's had good results. Which had me looking forward to Random Acts Of Violence, a thriller/horror movie directed and co-written by Baruchel, who also has a main supporting role, based on a comic by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti.

The story is all about a comic creator, Todd (Jesse Williams), who has made his name with the creation of a murderous character, Slasherman, based on a real-life killer. On a press tour with his publisher (Ezra, played by Baruchel), his girlfriend (Kathy, played by Jordana Brewster), and an assistant (Aurora, played by Niamh Wilson), Todd ends up being contacted, and toyed with, by someone emulating some of the more grisly murders that have been drawn by Todd.

If the opening paragraph to this review didn't give you a clue, Random Acts Of Violence ended up being a bit of a disappointment for me. It's not a bad film, not really, but the more interesting elements are badly mishandled, which I have to sadly blame Baruchel for, and that leaves viewers with nothing more than a mediocre thriller akin to many we have seen before, putting someone in dangerous proximity to a killer they have a connection with, and a finale that is about as weak as any I can think of from recent years (perhaps deliberate, but I doubt it).

The screenplay, by Baruchel and Jesse Chabot, stumbles along for the first half, but at least has a great confrontational scene that crystallises the main thinking point. Todd is being interviewed on a radio show, and that interview turns to how much he has considered the victims of the murderer that inspired his fictional creation. Some also point out that Todd isn't saying anything with his content. He's just depicting violent deaths, mostly involving women, and cannot come up with a proper ending to his story because he ultimately has nothing to say.

The cast do a decent job. Williams is excellent in the lead role, a good mix of ambition and insecurity, and Brewster has her best role in god knows how long, especially when she tries to call out what she sees as ever-increasing bullshit. Baruchel is arguably the odd one out, and has the least to do, but the reason for him casting himself is obvious, in terms of budget, resources, and being able to use his name on a number of fronts. Wilson is a nice enough addition, completing the central quartet with the kind of character you start to like most while also knowing they may be the most in danger.

The worst thing about Random Acts Of Violence is the lack of consistency. There are some great visual flourishes. Here and there. You get some interest musings on what those who create horror fare may or may not wish to consider. Here and there. You get some commentary on horrors creating art that creates more horror. Here and there. There's no solid through line though, and the third act is almost unforgivably poor.

I hope to enjoy whatever Baruchel does next a bit more than this, which I am generously rating as average.

5/10

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Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

With pretty much everyone returning, unless I am forgetting someone, Jumanji: The Next Level is an enjoyable lesson in how to put everything together competently enough for a sequel to a blockbuster family film.

A few years have gone by since the events of the first film. All is well, sort of. Spencer (Alex Wolff) just isn't feeling right though. Things aren't exactly awful, but he remembers how much better he was when stepping into the world of Jumanji. So he heads back in.  His friends understandably want to rescue him, as soon as they realise what is going on, but they don't get to pick their characters this time. They also have two new players with them, Spencer's grandfather (Danny DeVito) and his friend, Milo (Danny Glover). Once in the game, it is time to have more fun with Jack Black, Karen Gillan, Dwayne Johnson, and Kevin Hart. Which is what viewers really want to see.

Nothing here is as good as it was in the previous movie, but, and this is important, nothing here is a lot worse either. As well as deriving fun from the new players being befuddled by everything, Jumanji: The Next Level also throws a couple of tricks in there to keep everyone on their toes. The emotional content doesn't work, but it is well-intentioned enough, and played well, to make it bearable. Familiarity doesn't breed contempt (dance fighting moves are displayed, Johnson gets to smoulder, and both Black and Hart get plenty of moments to act amusingly frustrated or bemused), but there is wisdom in mixing just enough fresh faces to help it not feel like a complete retread.

Jake Kasdan once again directs, and once again helped to write the screenplay with Jeff Pinkner and Scott Rosenberg, and he does well, handling the action-packed set-pieces as well as the smaller moments of comedic interplay. He's helped by a cast that all seem to emanate that feeling of slipping into familiar and comfortable clothing.

All of the main players are as good in their roles as they were the first time around, and they get to enjoy showing some different sides of their personas, while both Akwafina and Rory NcCann are solid additions, with the latter especially good as the new main villain causing problems in Jumanji-land.

If you liked the last movie then you will like this one. That's all it wants to do, keep fans happy and entertained. I would watch it again. And I would watch a third adventure. Job done.

7/10

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Deep Rising (1998)

Part action movie, part disaster movie, part creature feature, Deep Rising is one of those little films that genre films always view with affection, and rightly so. It may be very cheesy at times, and there are some moments nowadays that highlight the FX budget, but everyone is working well with the tone of the material.

Treat Williams plays John Finnegan, a cocky captain of a speedy little ship that has been hired by some tough guys to take them to an ocean liner in the South Pacific Ocean. The liner has been rigged to sink, but not before it is looted. Things don't go to plan, however, and when Finnegan and co. get to the liner, it's already been attacked and raided by someone. Or something.

Deep Rising hits all of the beats that you want it to, from the enjoyable opening scene displaying some unseen threat to the big ship to the perverse and satisfying comeuppance that ends the storyline for one of the baddies. Williams is posited as a very reluctant hero, with his repeated refrain of "now what?" every time things seem about to go from bad to worse, and the supporting cast is a good mix of people who provide varying degrees of enjoyment.

Writer-director Stephen Sommers certainly uses every trick in the book to make the most of his budget and resources, with a lot of the first half of the movie benefiting from very little actually being seen onscreen (the creatures remain underwater, or can be seen/heard trying to get into rooms from the other side of the walls). And there are a lot of good moments that show off some special effects, it's just a case of them not quite having the capability to perfectly render everything they want to display in the third act. The dialogue is a grab bag of clichés and exposition, but it all works well enough. This is a film that isn't attempting to hide the many films influencing it, from the old b-movies with giant monsters in them to the adventure flicks with a square-jawed hero doing his best while out of his depth. It's a formula that Sommers would arguably hone to perfection in his Mummy movies, but it's here in an even more horror-tinged form.

Williams is decent in the lead. He never quite made the step up to full-on cinematic hero, but this is the closest that he comes. The main female in the cast is Famke Janssen, playing a thief named Trillian, and she's fantastic, but that is usually my reaction to any Famke Janssen performance. Wes Studi is the leader of the looters, he's a formidable bit of wretchedness, and Kevin J. O'Connor is supposed to be someone you root for, but is so bloody annoying that you're wishing for his onscreen death from just about the first moment he speaks. Elsewhere, you get Anthony Heald trying to stay smug in the face of overwhelming danger, Jason Flemying, Cliff Curtis, Clifton Powell, Trevor Goddard, Djimon Hounsou, Una Damon, and Clint Curtis making up most of the other players (I may have forgotten one or two main names, it's an impressive cast anyway).

You have some great set-pieces, a number of really impressive death scenes, and a finale that pulls out all the stops when it comes to some stunts involving a Jet Ski zooming along on the water (no sarcasm, more people should appreciate just how good that stuntwork is). Deep Rising is a very fun way to spend 106 minutes, and all the better for not having any cheap sequel coming along to sully the memory of it. Yet.

8/10

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Prime Time: The Witches Of Eastwick (1987)

The more I think about it, the harder it is to think of a more bizarre mainstream hit (I believe it was a hit, it certainly seemed to be known and seen by enough people) than this movie.

It's essentially the tale of three women who would like a perfect man. You have Alex (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon), and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer). And it looks like their wish may come true when the mysterious Daryl Van Horn (Jack Nicholson) comes into town. He's devilish, direct, and deemed to be just what the women need. For now.

If you haven't seen The Witches Of Eastwick in many years, here are some things you may have forgotten. First of all, it is directed by George Miller. Yes, the George Miller who only seems to be remembered for the Mad Max movies or films about dancing penguins. Second, Veronica Cartwright is REALLY good in her role. She plays Felicia Alden, a woman afflicted by the presence of Van Horn as soon as he comes to town. You may remember her most memorable scene - spewing out a lot of cherry stones - but she does great work in every scene she is in.

If you haven't seen the film at all then just know that it has a great script by Michael Cristofer (based on a novel by John Updike), unfussy direction from Miller that keeps the focus on the dialogue and characters, and great performances from the leads, as well as that fantastic turn from Cartwright, who is given equally fine support from Richard Jenkins, as her husband.

Cher, Sarandon, and Pfeiffer are all excellent, portraying three very different women who want the same thing. Each one starts off as very different from the other, although the journey they go on together sees them discovering themselves in ways that bring them closer and closer together, as well as growing more similar in their outlook. Nicholson doesn't so much attempt to be all things to all women, but rather knows just how far he can push things and how much his charm and bluntness will make up for any perceived failings.

It's very interesting to rewatch this movie, and perhaps more satisfying than any first viewing. Knowing how things end, and I'll try not to give any spoilers, helps to put up with some of the more infuriating moments that take place in the middle section. It's a witty and insightful battle of the sexes that seems quite patronising at times before revealing its true colours.

There are issues. This is one of many films that have Jack Nicholson feeling very much like he's playing Jack Nicholson, the transformation of the female characters is quite clumsily handled, and there's one main special effect in the final act that may well have been best left offscreen, or created in a different way.

Those minor niggles aside, this is great entertainment. Smart, sexy, funny, and you'll never look at cherry stones the same way again.

8/10

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