For It Is Man's Number

Tuesday, 10 January 2023

Avatar: The Way Of Water (2022)

Over a decade has passed since James Cameron asked us to put on 3D glasses and join him on a romp around the planet of Pandora. As much as I loved the cinematic experience of Avatar, and I still think it holds up as a visual wonderland that is well worth watching on a big screen, it's hard to argue against people who point out that the film made no major cultural footprint, despite it spending a bit of time as the highest-grossing blockbuster movie in modern cinema. Yeah, we got some jokes and references, but then it all just . . . faded away.

Now it's all back, and it's back in a big way. While it's unwise to ever bet against Cameron, many balked at how much this had to make to just break even. The fact that it's now on target to do more than that, and probably give Cameron yet another chance say he is the helmer of the highest-grossing movie of all time, is unbelievable. And yet . . . it's in line with how Cameron works.

Jake (Sam Worthington) is now living happily with Neytiri (Zoe Saldaña) on Pandora. They have three children of their own, two boys named Neteyam (Jamie Flatters) and Lo'ak (Britain Dalton), and one daughter named Tuk (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss), as well as an adopted daughter, Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), and the constant company of a human boy, Spider (Jack Champion), who was left on Pandora because he was too young to be transported back to Earth when he was a child. Everything is wonderful, which means it's all about to be spoiled. Enter Quaritch (Stephen Lang), the big bad from the first movie who is, with a small team of his fellow soldiers, sent back to Pandora in Na'vi form. Jake opts to take his family away from their forest home, asking permission from another tribe (led by Tonowari, played by Cliff Curtis, and Ronal, played by Kate Winslet) to hide away and make their new home in an idyllic reef environment. But trying to stay out of a fight doesn't stop the fight landing on your doorstep.

It’s hard to think of the best way to review Avatar: The Way Of Water. It isn’t a great movie, especially with a lot of it rehashing what we got in the first film, but it is a great cinematic experience, and that is what Cameron specializes in. In an ideal world, I would list all of the VFX and art department people here, as well as the production designers, stunt crew, and all of those who won’t receive their due credit while Cameron, who is certainly no slouch when it comes to pushing film-making tech above and beyond the limits of our imagination, gets to return to his throne and proclaim himself “king of the world” again.

The cast all do what is asked of them, but part of the fun comes from not recognizing them. Worthington and Saldaña are fine, but it’s more impressive to not realise when Curtis and Winslet appear. And it’s a delight to see Sigourney Weaver magically made youthful in a way that is equally realistic and magical. Lang is a great villain, once again, and the younger cast members, those already mentioned above, plus Bailey Bass and Filip Geljo, all seem good enough under their layers of motion capture. Champion is good as definitely not a feral kid lifted from the Mad Max movies, and there are one or two enjoyable scenes featuring Brendan Cowell and Jemaine Clement, actually allowed to play their characters in standard human guise.

The 3+ hour runtime may be offputting, but this isn’t a film that drags. The majority of the runtime provides plenty of spectacle and beautiful details to pick up on, and the action beats are brilliantly done, with the last 40 minutes or so being one extended battle scene that guarantees most viewers will feel surprisingly energised as the end credits roll.

Not only does Cameron, who co-wrote the screenplay with Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, rehash the main conflict for our hero this time around, he also revisits the themes of environmental awareness, living in harmony with a precious planetary ecosystem, and showing the value in traditional ways and community spirit. Is it all also problematic blue-faced cultural appropriation? That charge has been levelled against it, but I think that Cameron and co. put such hard work into creating an entirely fictional world, influenced by the history and many cultures of our own planet, that you have to accept it as it is presented; pure sci-fi.

Maybe it’s a sign of me being won over by the advertising, or maybe I just really enjoyed the whole cinematic experience THAT much (once I told someone to turn their phone off after tolerating the bright light of their screen for half an hour - aaaaaaarrrrgggggh), but this is the kind of escape that shows how far movies can transport us. It isn’t perfect, even the technical side of things can seem a bit rough occasionally (the HFR can take some getting used to, some of the colours clash horribly, and a number of shots are framed horrible due to the difference in size between any human characters and the much taller Na’vi), but I would easily rewatch it today if I had the time. And I will be keen for whenever we next get an opportunity to revisit Pandora.

James Cameron may not know much about subtlety or self-restraint. Fortunately, he knows how to deliver eye-popping, jaw-dropping, cinema on a huge scale.

8/10

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Monday, 9 January 2023

Mubi Monday: Aftersun (2022)

I spent the last 10-15 minutes of Aftersun trying, and failing, to keep my emotions in check. That isn't a spoiler. It's just a statement about the cumulative power of the film, and my own inability to sometimes stop myself from turning into a blubbering mess. Aftersun is trying to capture the essence of a few different things - a father-daughter relationship, the way our memories change as we look back on them with different information, that holiday abroad when you're a child, and more - and it succeeds in everything it sets out to achieve.

Paul Mescal plays Calum, the 30-year-old father of 11-year-old Sophie (Frankie Corio). The two of them are on a summer holiday in Turkey, a holiday that Calum wants to make as perfect as possible, in terms of having fun with his daughter and reassuring her of how she will always be able to discuss everything in her life with him. There's an underlying tension though, emphasised by the fact that what viewers are seeing of this holiday is being filtered through some videotape recordings and memories of the adult Sophie (Celia Rowlson-Hall), interspersed with some dream imagery of her unable to reach her father in a sweaty rave environment. Calum might not have the money and resources to always give Sophie what he thinks she deserves, while Sophie is at a stage where she alternates between enjoying innocent fun and wishing that she was already as old as the teenagers she assumes are much cooler than her.

This is one hell of a film from writer-director Charlotte Wells. The fact that it is her feature debut is utterly astonishing, especially when I cannot think of another film in recent years to have so thoroughly shaken me to my core (in a good way). I am still struggling now to consider the film without having another serious case of leaky eyes. I could mention the brilliant soundtrack, one that keeps reminding viewers that most of the film is set in the early 2000s, I could mention the framing and shot choice throughout (especially when making use of a small hotel room, mirrors, and the glass door/window to the balcony), but it all really comes to the writing and the performances. Every main scene here rings true, whether it's briefly watching an unfortunate parent berate a child that has pushed his luck too far or that feeling of being at an arcade machine, visualising the games you might play, and then being fortunate enough to have someone offer to pay for you to have another shot on it. And that's before I get to the beautifully-portrayed relationship between Calum and Sophie, both trying to treat one another with love and respect, but also never knowing exactly what their mental state is. Aftersun is a reminder of so many things, so many moments that viewers will find familiar and resonant, but one of those things is that we only ever have the faintest idea, if any, of what others are going through.

Mescal has already received a lot of praise for his performance here, and deservedly so, but Corio is equal to him. Both feel absolutely right in their roles, whether on their own or (more often) alongside one another. Both are also allowed to be good people, and they're allowed to be imperfect, and the fact that the holiday we're witnessing crystallises so many memories, providing so many small moments that become larger and more powerful over time, gives Mescal and Corio the room to layer plenty of nuance over their work. Almost every dialogue exchange can be turned around, dug into, and dissected in so many different ways. Thankfully, Wells does have a definite tale to tell here, meaning that we aren't left with something unsatisfyingly ambiguous.

I would like to put together so many more words to motivate people to watch this film, including praise for Rowlson-Hall, praise for the cast of teens convincingly playing holidaying teens, and praise for what may now be the best use of "Under Pressure" in a movie soundtrack (stealing the crown previously held by Grosse Pointe Blank), as well as a complementary and perfect score from Oliver Coates. I have to stop now though. I'd like to namecheck everyone, from the cinematographer to the editor, but I need to step away now, to shake off a film experience that has left me happy, a bit heartbroken, and stunned.

10/10

Sunday, 8 January 2023

Netflix And Chill: Avengement (2019)

There are many films you could choose if you want to watch action star Scott Adkins kick people in the face. It's basically what he does best. I'd struggle to think of a film that is both as entertaining and brutal as Avengement though, which now holds the record for making me wince the most times in a 90-minute period.

Adkins is Cain Burgess, a man who has escaped from prison to settle a score against his brother (Craig Fairbrass) and the thugs who work for him. Cain is quite the sight to behold, his face covered in scars and his mouth full of metal dentures. He's been in prison for quite some time, and almost every day has seen him fighting for his life. Just what he did to end up there, and why he has had a big target on his back, is part of the backstory that we get when Cain locks himself in a pub with a group of men who work for his brother.

Directed by Jesse V. Johnson, who also helped to co-write the screenplay with Stu Small (a working relationship that has delivered a a good handful of other worthwhile Adkins movies), there's no better word to describe Avengement than savage. It's also bloody well put together, giving the main character a decent enough framework for a number of impressive set-pieces. Although it's often very grim, there's enough humour laced throughout to keep reminding viewers that it IS a piece of action entertainment.

Always ready to do whatever it takes in order to survive, Adkins is often animalistic in the lead role. The heavy scarring and change to his usual physical appearance, accompanied by a mood of absolutely no fucks given, have him making people nervous before he even throws a punch or a kick, and Adkins has fun in the role, revelling in playing someone so antagonistic and spoiling for the inevitable fights coming his way. Fairbrass is good in his role, playing someone who casts a long shadow over the film even when he's not onscreen. It's not really out of his comfort zone, but it's a good bit of casting. You also get Nick Moran, still ready to give attitude and plenty of chatter, even when it probably won't be good for his health, and there's a fun, nervy, turn from Thomas Turgoose, as well as Kierston Wareing's brassy barmaid who wouldn't look out of place working behind the bar of The Queen Vic. Mark Strange and Leo Gregory are also caught up in the violence, as are a number of actors who excel at portraying characters who could easily be named something like "tough nut #2".

In case you hadn't realised already, this is not for the faint-hearted. While the fights are largely a collection of the usual moves, there are some bursts of violence here that rank as some of the gnarliest I have ever seen, including an eye-watering, and graphic, riff on the horrendous curb sandwich.

I'll finish with this warning, although it may be too late for many of you. If you like the sound of Avengement then try to see it before seeing the trailer, which reveals far too much. Okay, you don't choose a Scott Adkins vehicle for complex plotting and emotional nuance, but this certainly does a better job than most in creating just the right motivation for the main character, and delivering one of the scariest potential antiheroes in a long time.

8/10

Saturday, 7 January 2023

Shudder Saturday: We Need To Do Something (2021)

A family sheltering from a storm become inadvertently trapped in their bathroom in this strange and intriguing psychological horror. Well, I considered it strange and intriguing, and it has one of the few moments in recent history to give me proper goosebumps and a chill throughout my body, but I can see a lot of people just dismissing it as nonsensical and dull.

Pat Healy and Vinessa Shaw play the parents, the former with a drinking problem and the latter with a secret that maybe isn’t so secret. Sierra McCormick is Melissa, their teenage daughter, and John James Cronin is Bobby, the youngest family member. It doesn’t take long for tensions to rise when the family realise that they are trapped in their bathroom, and trapped alongside people they don’t necessarily like spending time with, despite their familial bonds. While the main part of the film doesn’t leave the bathroom, some flashbacks show us recent developments in the life of Melissa, tied to a strong connection she has made with a young woman named Amy (Lisette Olivera, billed as Lisette Alexis). It soon becomes clear that Melissa worries she may have somehow caused the situation her family is now in.

Written by Max Booth III, adapting his own novella into movie form, this is a film that makes use of the confined setting and small cast by slowly ratcheting up the tension, interspersing things with moments of madness, and allowing viewers to imagine what could be going on outwith those bathroom walls. Some people will hate the fact that we never really see anything, but others will appreciate the chance to unnerve themselves with just their own imagination, prompted by some very good sound cues.

Director Sean King O’Grady puts his faith in the material, as well as his cast, and doesn’t try to cover up any limitations with fancy tricks and flourishes. It doesn’t need any more, especially once we start to dig deeper into Melissa’s backstory. Making his fictional feature debut, after directing some shorts and a documentary previously, O’Grady impresses with an end result that manages to be streamlined and efficient without feeling cheap.

Cast-wise, Healy is always a welcome presence in genre fare, although the downward spiral of his character is a bit quicker that I would have liked, as well as lacking any real nuance. I blame the writing more than the performance, but this is far from Healy’s best work. Shaw fares better, helped by the fact that her character remembers to keep appearing calm and reassured, for the sake of her children, even as things go from bad to worse. Cronin gives a decent performance, a typical little brother, and McCormick does an excellent job in the lead role, being believable and watchable at all times. Alexis also does good work, and her character casts a long shadow over the proceedings, despite her limited screentime. There are one or two others in the cast, used very effectively, whether they get one scene or even just one line of dialogue.

I think there’s a lot to appreciate here. I would watch this again, and would maybe even be looking for different details in certain scenes, piecing together the seemingly-random plot elements that all point towards people also being trapped with their own guilt and/or pain, as opposed to just being trapped in a bathroom. Other people may not want to give it any more time and attention after their fist viewing, and I am sure some won’t even make it to the end. I hesitate to recommend it, but I also hope that people I know give it a try. If it works for you then it should REALLY work, but if it doesn’t . . . ah well, there are plenty more movies to check out. At least the runtime isn’t much more than an hour and a half.

8/10

Friday, 6 January 2023

The Iceman Cometh (1989)

AKA Time Warriors.

While it may seem tricky to discuss and review films like this one, a Hong Kong martial arts movie from the late 1980s that has the mix of impressive action and cringe-inducing humour you might expect, that doesn't mean it shouldn't be attempted. So brace yourself as I attempt it. And then head off to find more informed writing on the film by those who are much more well-versed in Hong Kong cinema than I am.

Yuen Biao stars as a royal guard in the Ming Dynasty who is tasked with hunting down a murderous rapist (Yuen Wah) he used to be close to. The two soon meet, and a fight ensues, ending with both of them falling off a cliff and landing on snowy ground that will leave them frozen for centuries. Skip forward a few hundred years, both fighters are discovered by scientists, and it's not long until they are thawed out and wandering around in the modern world. The environment may be hugely different, but the fighting will go one . . . whenever the two meet again. Meanwhile, Biao meets Maggie Cheung (playing a character named Polla) and ends up helping her out of a sticky situation. He begins helping her in her work life, unaware that she's a prostitute using him to scare men who have paid her for her services. It all leads to some inevitably insane stuntwork, and you just know that Cheung will be in grave danger, at least once.

Director Clarence Fok may not have a filmography crammed full of modern classics, although he's been involved, in one way or another, with some absolutely superb action movies, but that doesn't really matter when you're helming a film that can showcase the talents of people like Biao and Wah (Cheung, sadly, is there to be set up as a potential damsel in distress). The same goes for writers Johnny Mak and Stephen Shiu, who try to balance a few impressive set-pieces with the standard "fish out of water" aspect of the premise.

Biao and Wah though, wow, this is a film that allows both of them to spend some time showing their skills (in impressive stunt sequences that they also helped to choreograph). If you are a fan of either - and anyone who loves action movies should love Biao - then there is enough here to keep you happy and entertained. I would like to see everything that Biao has ever done, one day, but I appear to have already seen quite a few movies that Wah appeared in, despite not necessarily being able to recall any of his other performances. That won’t be the case with this film, thanks largely to an amazing moment at the halfway point that has his character fleeing a robbery by jumping across a couple of moving car roofs. It is a shame that Cheung is mistreated by the script, but she at least gets plenty of screentime, and the way her character grows closer to our hero isn’t as bad as it could have been.

Helped by good pacing for most of the runtime (you’re never too far away from either a fight or a decent comedy beat, but there are one or two extra endings), The Iceman Cometh is an enjoyable martial arts movie that provides some fantastical spectacle alongside entertaining silliness. It isn’t quite there with the best of Hong Kong action cinema from this time, but it’s unlikely to disappoint anyone who deliberately seeks it out.

7/10

Thursday, 5 January 2023

Bell, Book And Candle (1958)

One of two 1958 movies in which James Stewart finds himself bewitched by Kim Novak, Bell, Book And Candle may be the less-mentioned of the two (the other being Vertigo, of course), but I am sure that those who love this film would sneer at anyone labelling it as a lesser work. In fact, I am now one of those people who love the film, and I know that I would sneer at anyone labelling it as a lesser work. The only label you should put on this is one that says "absolute treat".

Novak plays Gillian Holroyd, a woman who owns a small store in New York. She takes an interest in her upstairs neighbour, a publisher named Shep Henderson (James Stewart), and decides to make a move on him, despite the fact that he is engages to Merle Kittridge (Janice Rule). Shep is helpless to resist the charms of Gillian, largely because she's a witch able to cast a love spell on him. Encouraged by her aunt, Queenie (Elsa Lanchester), and her brother, Nicky (Jack Lemmon), Gillian gets a bit carried away with her scheme, also engineering a meeting between Shep and a writer (Sidney Redlitch, played by Ernie Kovacs) he was eager to work with. If it's really meant going to be a genuine love story, however, then Gillian knows that she has to tell Shep the truth. But will they stay together if the spell is broken?

Based on a play by John Van Druten, Bell, Book And Candle is brought to the screen by writer Daniel Taradash and director Richard Quine. Both may have other contenders for their best films, but this one should be fighting for a spot very near the top. It doesn't feel hampered by the adaptation from stage to screen, it fairly zips along through the 106-minute runtime, and there isn’t a weak link in the central cast.

Stewart does what he does so well, being a level-headed and generally swell guy, while Novak manages to be as constantly mesmerising as she needs to be, especially in the shots that show her using her powers with the help of her familiar, a cat named Pyewacket. Lanchester and Lemmon are both great fun, far less coy about using their magical powers than Novak’s character and happy to play tricks on unsuspecting humans in their company. Kovacs is also fun, especially when he is relaying his “expertise” to characters that he doesn’t realise know far more than he does, and Rule does her best in a role that requires her to be pushed aside very early on. Hermione Gingold also needs mentioned here, portraying the powerful Bianca de Passe, someone who may be able to prove the unbelievable truth to our leading man, and may also be able to break the spell.

I am sure that there are great essays out there about this film, with so much to explore under the rom-com surface, but I am just here with a brief and light review. I will mention the wonderful dialogue, the delight viewers will feel as they watch the plot strands weave together, the great score from George Duning, and the sequence that has Jack Lemmon energetically playing the bongos. But I would also encourage fans of the film to check out more in-depth examinations of it, because it certainly rewards further exploration.

“Double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble”, I may have got myself in a bit of a muddle, trying to end by encouraging people to see this . . . on the double.

9/10

Wednesday, 4 January 2023

Prime Time: Nanny (2022)

I have to admit that I was being underwhelmed by Nanny while I was watching it, and started to wonder why so many people had placed it on a few "best of the year" lists. Then I got to the end. I was very impressed by the resolution served up to viewers. But I still wonder why so many people have placed it on a few "best of the year" lists.

Anna Diop stars as Aisha, a Senegalese immigrant who is hired to care for the daughter of a wealthy couple living in New York City. The couple (played by Michelle Monaghan and Morgan Spector) sometimes seem supportive, but they can just as quickly turn on Aisha. Even when everything is going well, Aisha is keenly aware of how precarious her position is. Her goal is to soon be joined by her young son, which is her motivation for keeping busy in a role that should allow her to save up the money for his air fare.

The feature debut from writer-director Nikyatu Jusu, Nanny is an interesting and insightful work. It manages to examine a number of different elements without ever feeling unfocused or overfilled. The cast all do uniformly excellent work, the script manages to underline the tension and unease of the main situation without turning it into ridiculous melodrama, and there are some impressive images making use of the main recurring motifs. But it's lacking something.

Diop is so good in the lead role that I kept wishing for the film around her to be even better. She works well with everyone around her, and that includes young Rose Decker (playing the young girl that she's being paid to look after), but the best scenes show her character being a bit more relaxed, and a bit happier, in the company of a man named Malik (played by Sinqua Walls, who adds just the right touch of light to the darkness). Monaghan and Spector veer between being pleasant and being far too highly-strung, and both feel perfectly cast in their roles.

It's just a shame that it doesn't come together in a completely satisfying way, with Jusu deciding against giving the film a firm tonal/genre identity. There's definitely a growing sense of dread as everything plays out, but Jusu depicts everything in a way that feels as if there's a filter, a layer of protective netting, between the worst possibilities and what viewers are seeing, whether that is the cityscape the characters are moving through or the mental landscape being changed by what is going on in their lives.

I am sure that many will dislike my opinion about this, and may even accuse me of missing some of the layered text and subtext. What can I say? I felt like I was being taken to paddle in a pool I was then not allowed to dive into. This film has depths, but they are depths that Jusu wants you to see from a high, and safe, vantage point. And that changes the perspective, which elicits a different reaction than, for example, being dragged down into those depths and feeling the growing pressure and darkness all around you.

6/10

Tuesday, 3 January 2023

The Banshees Of Inisherin (2022)

If writer-director Martin McDonagh could do every one of his movies with lead roles for Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson then I would be a very happy camper. Seriously, one a year, one every few years, whatever the schedule allows, just have the words and direction from McDonagh and the main performances from Farrell and Gleeson. While The Banshees Of Inisherin may not be quite as good as the mighty In Bruges, it's a very close call. So close that I wouldn't waste energy arguing with anyone who wanted to rank McDonagh's movies in alphabetical order: [The] Banshees Of Inisherin, In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. I will keep arguing with you if you decide to put "Three Billboards" at the top of the tree though, but different strokes for different folks.

What you get here is the tale of two friends who stop being friends. Farrell is the pleasant, but maybe a bit boring, Pádraic. Gleeson is a folk musician named Colm. Pádraic and Colm have been firm friends for a long time, keeping one another company as the time idly ticks away on the small Irish isle that they call home. The Irish Civil War is still going on, but the isle of Inisherin often feels as if it could be on another planet. Nothing much seems to change there, which is why it's such a strange upheaval to see Pádraic and Colm stop being friends, especially when Pádraic can't figure out why he's suddenly persona non grata with Colm. He wants to make everything right again, but that just ends up escalating the situation, leading to painful repercussions and a very tense atmosphere in the local pub. While Colm seems happy in his own company, Pádraic struggles, spending some more of his time with the empty-headed, but sweet, Dominic (Barry Keoghan), and trying to convince his sister, Siobhán (Kerry Condon), that she doesn't need to leave the island to have a good life.

A film so densely packed that it makes you worry slightly about discussing it in-depth with others, for fear of mixing up what is intended by McDonagh with what may be the result of viewer baggage projected on to the screen, The Banshees Of Inisherin is about the history of Ireland, about the need to have open communication with those close to you, and about the damage caused by trying to close down and ignore mental health issues. It's also about the avoidable damage that can be self-inflicted, and it's, most obviously, about the end of a relationship. Although we're seeing the end of a friendship in the movie, it could be any relationship ending, and it's a stranger and more painful experience for the person who doesn't want it to end.

Picking a best performance is a near-impossible task, with both Farrell and Gleeson on absolutely top form, and Keoghan giving a performance so great that I finally agree with people who have been praising him highly for the past few years. Condon is just as good as any of her male co-stars, standing out as the one islander recognising how far from idyllic island life is, and I have to praise Gary Lydon for his role as Peadar Kearney, the local policeman who is also the abusive father of Keoghan's character. Last, but by no means least, everyone should love Jenny, a donkey played by . . . Jenny the donkey.

Equal parts hilarious and devastating, and as ultimately split between light and dark as a settled pint of Guinness, The Banshees Of Inisherin is smart, timelessly relevant, heartbreaking, and a contender for the best film of the year. One or two decisions hold it back from perfection, especially when things become even darker in the third act, but, like any solid and enduring relationship, dealing with the bad times helps you to appreciate all of the good.

9/10

Monday, 2 January 2023

Mubi Monday: Switchblade Sisters (1975)

The second last film from director Jack Hill, not counting his work as a writer, Switchblade Sisters feels like a shining beacon of brilliantly aggressive and confrontational exploitation fare. It is populated by strong and sexy women, potential good times are ruined by men being assholes, and authority figures are unable to find a way to communicate with a new generation that disrespects them at every turn.

Lace (Robbie Lee) is a leader of the Dagger Debs, a girl gang who end up arrested alongside a new girl in the neighbourhood, Maggie (Joanne Nail). Patch (Monica Gayle) takes an instant dislike to Maggie, but Lace thinks she could become a valued member of the gang. Things become complicated when Lace's boyfriend, Dominic (Asher Brauner), takes a liking to Maggie. Patch blames Maggie, but she doesn't know that Dominic raped Maggie because he is so used to being able to just take whatever he wants. Seeds of mistrust are sown, and a plan is hatched to deal with Maggie and restore the status quo of the gang. But it may be impossible to go back to how things once were, especially as Dominic and Hook (Don Stark) draw people into their chaos as they wage a turf war against a rival gang leader, Crabs (Chase Newhart).

The only film credited to writer F. X. Maier, Switchblade Sisters is, first and foremost, a gang film. It shows that lifestyle, for better and for worse, but also shows a few different hierarchies: the one within the female gang, the one within the male gangs, and the way the female gang members seem to be roped into service for the male gang members (sometimes literally). It often feels a bit ridiculous and hugely entertaining, but it also has moments that feel grounded in some kind of grimy reality (albeit one filtered through a filter of adult panic . . . an opening title card could have been placed here to state "it's eight o'clock, do you know where your kids are?"). The gangs are a bit risible, especially when they revert to acting like children having a tantrum, but that also just serves as a reminder that there ARE kids. They're play-acting tough, and some have been doing it long enough already that it's become a way of life for them. Wherever they are at right now, you can sense how they started on their path to full-time gang activity, whether it's peer pressure, problems at home, or just spying the opportunity to get what they want in life with minimal effort.

Hill keeps everything moving along at a decent speed, making more of his budget and resources than many other people would manage. The violence is well-staged, and numerous stunts feel dangerous and just one misjudgement away from going completely out of control, while the cast all get enough screentime to make each one of their characters eventually stand out from the group.

Lee and Nail are the leads, and both do decent work in their roles, but Gayle is excellent alongside both of them, and being named Patch because her character has an eyepatch, makes her arguably the most memorable of the entire cast. Brauner is enjoyably unpleasant, as is Stark, and Newhart is nicely (seemingly) antithetical to them. I could easily mentioned another four or five names here, various gang members who are directly involved with the action, but I don’t want to risk overstuffing a review for a film that is itself expertly crafted into something lean and mean.

Every time I see a new (to me) Jack Hill movie I seem to find myself with a new favourite from his filmography. This is no exception. I would nominate this as one of his very best.

9/10

Sunday, 1 January 2023

Netflix And Chill: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

When Rian Johnson gave us Knives Out a few years ago, he served up a delightful murder mystery that made great use of some excellent plotting, provided numerous laughs, and allowed for everyone in the ensemble cast to have at least one or two moments to shine. I loved it, and I was far from alone in loving it. I'd say that a lot of people were looking forward to this follow-up, another case for the talented detective Benoit Blanc (Craig David) to crack.

Edward Norton plays Miles Bron, a super-rich tech "genius" who is gathering a number of people together on his island to take part in a murder mystery weekend. Most of the guests are his friends, but most of them also have a reason to relish his potential demise. They include Birdie Jay (Kate Hudson), a fashionista and social media personality, Duke Cody (Dave Bautista), a famous idiot who has found an audience for his idiotic agitation, Lionel Toussaint (Leslie Odom Jr.), a tech guy who actually ends up doing the work that Bron can then take credit for, and Claire Debella (Kathryn Hahn), a woman making moves in the world of politics. Janelle Monáe also turns up, not necessarily a friend, but certainly an integral part of the group, and there are a couple of other people present (Peg, the assistant to Birdie Jay, and Whiskey, the partner of Cody). The most important guest, however, is Blanc. And things take a turn for the mysterious when it is revealed that he wasn't actually invited. Who is really orchestrating the events of the weekend, and who will wind up dead?

It's hard to think of people hating this film. The cast and the quality of the film-making should please most viewers. It's also hard, however, to see how fans of the first film can consider this a superior mystery. Before getting into detail, it's overlong (by a good 10-15 minutes, and most of the opening act could be trimmed down easily), it's not as engaging or clever when it comes to the plotting, and most of the cast are sadly wasted.

Craig is clearly having a wonderful time in the central role, and that emanates from the screen, which is a big plus. Hudson also has a lot of fun, it's good to see Norton not in full serious mode (especially in the flashback scenes that have him sporting hair stolen from Magnolia's Frank T. J. Mackey), and Monáe sinks her teeth into a script that gives her a chance to shine bright, which she does with aplomb. Unfortunately, that leaves the rest of the cast floundering. Bautista can't do much with his underwritten character, nor can Odom Jr., and wasting Hahn this painfully should be punishable by public flogging. Henwick manages to shine in her supporting role, but that's more to do with her presence than the writing (for comparison, just look at the way Cline feels almost non-existent), and Noah Segan has no need to be in the tiny role that he's given.

I like Johnson, he's a film-maker who often mixes in just the right amount of cine-literacy (and he's been very open about this film being influenced by The Last Of Sheila) and sheer fun, but this feels like a mis-step, as if he's already forgotten, or didn't actually realise, what made the first film work so well. This lacks bite, it lacks enough solid laughs, and it lacks that important feeling of satisfaction that viewers should get when all of the pieces lock into place during the final act. Some of the silliness is deliberate, especially when Johnson is underlining the idea of people mistaking wealth for intelligence and class, but some of it feels out of place, almost as if Johnson was worried about people becoming bored. Which, ironically, leads to a few scenes which may leave some viewers bored.

Generally well-made, and with some delightful cameos, this is a nice bit of escapism for the swollen runtime. It's just a bit disappointing, especially when stood alongside the brilliance of the first film in the series, although it's not essential to have seen that before diving into this one. I'll still look forward to the next Knives Out mystery though, and I wouldn't be too pained if I was ever made to rewatch this.

6/10

Saturday, 31 December 2022

New Year's Evil (1980)

With the sort of premise that is both incredibly silly and absolutely brilliant, I was amazed that I hadn't yet made time to fit New Year's Evil into my viewing schedule. It must be down to this time of year, the time when I would want to watch it most, being chock full of both Christmas movies and all of the big titles I end up trying to cram before the calendar gets changed. Not this year though. Nope. This is the year that I finally left a New Year's Evil gap available, a gap that I filled by watching New Year's Evil.

Roz Kelly is Diane Sullivan, a disc jockey hosting a grand New Year's Eve party live on TV. The music is loud, the partygoers all seem happy, and people get to call in to the show and speak to Diane. Unfortunately, someone wants to be a party pooper, and they call up to tell Diane that they are going to murder someone every time the clock strikes midnight in one of four US time zones. And Diane will be his final victim. In case anyone thinks this is some bad joke, the killer calls back after murdering his first victim, playing back the sounds of their death from a tape recorder.

The second feature film directed by Emmett Alston (and I would encourage everyone to check out the plot synopsis for his first movie - I'm not going to spoil the surprise here), this is as wonderfully odd as you'd expect it to be. It wants to be a standard slasher at times, but doesn't ever go far enough, in terms of tension and/or bloodshed, and when it becomes a more straightforward thriller in the third act, well, it's still weighed down by the baggage that has been added to it by writer Leonard Neubauer. Neubauer doesn't have the most extensive filmography, which perhaps explains why he's not necessarily trying to just copy the many other movies that were being released at this time, instead taking time to add some strange character details and interactions that wouldn't be given the same time and focus in other screenplays. Not that it leads to the film feeling padded out. In fact, the 85-minute runtime feels just right, especially when you also get one or two genuinely decent musical performances, courtesy of Rock Band Shadow, at the NYE party.

Kelly is fine in her role, but it's not exactly one that requires a star turn (although her fame from Happy Days may have lured in viewers during the film's initial release). Kip Niven and Grant Cramer get to have more fun, both being prominent men in Diane's life, and the latter, her son, is given some strange quirks, to put it one way, that you think may factor into the grand finale . . . until they don’t. Chris Wallace is the main cop on the case, Jed Miller is the usual businessman just thinking in dollars, and Louisa Moritz, Taaffe O’Connell, and Alicia Dhanifu are all involved in some of the more memorable moments.

You are unlikely to enjoy this as much as I did. You may even hate it. It’s a film that feels paradoxically as if it is well within the slasher movie mold and also far removed from it. However you feel about it, however, you’re unlikely to forget it. It dives into the premise with confidence, it plays around with expectations, and it delivers a surprisingly satisfying ending. You should resolve to see it.

7/10

Friday, 30 December 2022

Remember The Night (1940)

I am sure that people who are already familiar with Remember The Night already notice when it starts to become a more popular viewing choice towards the end of the year (due to it being set during the Christmas holiday period). I wasn't familiar with the film before now, but I suddenly started noticing it everywhere. I can only imagine that it's a solid choice for some of the classic movie channels, and the recent (typically sublime) UK Blu-ray release from Indicator must have helped it become even more ubiquitous than usual this December.

Written by Preston Sturges and directed by Mitchell Leisen, all you should need to know to get you interested in Remember The Night is that it was the first movie to pair up Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray. It's not their best (because four years later they would work together in the classic Double Indemnity), but it's a very enjoyable use of their talents.

Stanwyck plays Lee Leander, a woman who has been arrested on a shoplifting charge. She did it, and she doesn't seem too remorseful about doing it, but MacMurray's prosecuting attorney, John Sargent, knows that a jury can be affected by seasonal goodwill just before Christmas, which is why he is happy to request a continuance of the trial until after the holidays. Unfortunately, with no family or funds available, this means that Miss Leander will spend the holiday season in jail. Sympathetic to her situation, especially as he caused it, Sargent manages to get her out on bail. Dropped off at his apartment, Miss Leander quickly ends up making Mr. Sargent regret his good deed. He is heading home for the holidays, and decides to take Miss Leander to her family, where she can enjoy some time before heading back for her assigned court date, and so begins a blossoming relationship that could cause hurt and happiness in equal measure.

The thing that works best about Remember The Night is that it's a message movie that delivers a message you might not actually expect. Yes, there are the usual enjoyable character interactions, and there's a fun set-piece or two (small in scale, but there throughout the runtime nonetheless), as well as the strengthening connection between the two leads, but this is a film that uses the goodwill of the season to reflect a light of joy/shame on the many supporting characters. Stanwyck's character is not pleading innocence throughout, nor does she ever really make any excuses for her own behaviour, but viewers, and those in the movie who get to know her without their view shaded by her arrest, can easily see that there is much more to define her than a penchant for thievery.

It helps, of course, that Stanwyck's character is played by Stanwyck, an actress who I've never known to disappoint (although I still have so many more of her movies to get around to). It also helps that MacMurray is putting in yet another of those winning turns that he delivered for a good few decades, making him easy to root for even when he might not have been consistently in the right. Beulah Bondi and Elizabeth Patterson are a delight as two members of Sargent's family (his mother and aunt, respectively), Georgia Caine plays a much-less-delightful mother to our female lead, and Willard Robertson, Sterling Holloway, and Charles Waldron all get at least one good moment. It's also worth mentioning the small role for Fred 'Snowflake' Toones, a character actor who may be involved a couple of scenes that disappointingly play to the prevailing attitude of the era, but who deserves to be namechecked nonetheless. (it's the writing/direction that disappoints there, not his performance)

It doesn't overdo the Christmas feeling, but you get it emanating from the screen at key points, making it easy to see why people may choose to keep this one in annual rotation. It delivers familiar good feeling with a satisfyingly unfamiliar sprinkling of realism . . . 1940s cinematic realism, which is still miles away from actual realism though. Determined not to let things turn into a fairytale, nor the characters to transform into a princess or prince, Remember The Night is a great example of how to give audiences what they want without letting them feel as if they have just been served a bland final product from the end of a standardised factory line.

This may not have the constant snowfall and bell-ringing of other Christmas movie classics from this era, but that just gives you all the more reason to revisit it. I know that I'll be trying to make this a new December tradition in my house.

8/10

Thursday, 29 December 2022

'Twas The Night (2001)

If you want to watch one Christmassy Disney movie directed by 'The Shape" from Halloween then 'Twas The Night is the film for you. I'm not going to make a case for it being any kind of forgotten classic, but it will hit just the right nostalgia buttons for many, being tucked away alongside many other turn-of-the-century Disney TV movies on Disney+.

Written by Jim Lincoln, Dan Studney, and Jenny Tripp, a trio who spent a decade or so working on various Disney projects, this is supposed to be all about a young boy named Danny Wrigley (Josh Zuckerman), but viewers nowadays will have more fun watching his irresponsible uncle, Nick (played by Bryan Cranston). Idolised by his nephew, Nick is actually a small-time scammer who visits his family while he hides away from people who want to hurt him, wring money back out of him, or both. When they accidentally knock out Santa (Jefferson Mappin), Nick convinces Danny that they can use the special Santa gadgets to ensure everyone still gets their Christmas presents. It soon becomes clear, however, that Nick wants to rob a number of homes to give himself a bumper payday. But will Danny see the truth in time to stop Christmas from being ruined.

This is exactly what you think it is going to be, a fairly low-budget TV movie with a mix of amusing misbehaviour, some very mild peril, and occasional use of special effects to convey some magical "Santa powers". It's not one to seek out, nor is it overflowing with the Christmas atmosphere, but it's mildly entertaining stuff, and clocks in at a nice, short runtime of approximately 84 minutes. Zuckerman is the typical smartass-but-not-bad kid at the heart of it all, but most of the fun comes from watching Cranston's character trying to capitalise on an unbelievable stroke of good luck. Whether that is how the film was intended, or whether it just plays that way now with Cranston being such a familiar face, is beside the point. The fact is that Cranston helps to make this more fun than it otherwise might be.

Nobody else really stands out from the cast. Brenda Grate and Rhys Williams play Kaitlin and Peter, Nick's siblings, while Barclay Hope and Torri Higginson are the parents who have a couple of scenes trying to lay down some ground rules when Nick arrives, only to then disappear for the majority of the movie (because that is what the plot requires). Sandy Robson, and Jeff Geddis are the people looking to be reimbursed, and they have Jung-Yul Kim with them, acting as their "muscle". And let's not forget Mappin, in the role of Santa. In fact, let's actually just forget him, because he's quite forgettable in the role, and has to spend a lot of the movie powerless.

The direction is competent enough, the script is simple and fun, and this will please younger viewers who fall into the right age bracket for it. (I'm going to say between about 7-10, but please bear in mind that it's been a long time since I have curated any viewing choices for children . . . not including my own inner child). Everyone else should find it decidedly average, but also pleasingly painless.

5/10

Wednesday, 28 December 2022

Prime Time: Matchmaker Santa (2012)

Have you even had a proper festive season if you haven't watched a film starring Lacey Chabert? I would have to say no, which is why I made sure to watch Matchmaker Santa when I saw it in the overstuffed TV schedule.

Chabert plays Melanie, a young woman who is in a relationship with Justin (Thad Luckinbill). As busy as he is, Justin has planned a Christmas break for the two of them. Okay, there will also be a bit of a chance to schmooze at a party, but he aims to make up for the many times he has been too busy to enjoy quality time with Melanie. She'll even get to meet Justin's mother (Katherine, played by Mary-Margaret Humes). Plans are thrown into disarray, however, when Justin sends his friend, Dean (Adam Mayfield), to pick Melanie up from the airport. Dean and Melanie are used to this, but they're not used to being secretly manipulated by someone (Santa . . . I mean Chris, played by Donovan Scott) who ensures that their car breaks down in a small town, keeping Justin and Melanie separated during the holiday season. Melanie and Dean keep getting along like a house on fire, there are locals to impress with home-made cookies (it's lucky that Melanie is also a baker), and Justin ends up in the company of an ex-girlfriend (Blaire, played by Elizabeth Ann Bennett) who may still have strong feelings for him.

If you're watching a Christmas TV movie then this is what you expect. According to IMDb, there was some uncredited rewriting on the script, but the main names onscreen are writer Joany Kane and director David S. Cass, Sr. Both creators have a number of movies like this in their respective filmographies, and both throw around the expected beats and tropes with ease, undoubtedly helped by being able to hang everything on a typically likable lead performance from Chabert. Everyone in the featured small town LOVES Christmas, everyone loves to eat and drink seasonal treats without calorie concerns, and the Santa figure helping to change lives always does so with an obvious wink and twinkle in his eye.

Aside from Chabert, the rest of the cast does what is asked of them, with Mayfield being the safe and handsome man that the leading lady is destined to eventually view as her Prince Charming, and both Luckinbill and Bennett getting to play their parts without having to act like panto villains (there are often no outright baddies in the Christmas romance movies, just people who aren’t as compatible as they want to be). The real fun comes from the supporting cast, with appearances from John Ratzenberger, Lin Shaye, and Florence Henderson. Shaye is particularly enjoyable, prompting one or two genuine laughs with her wonderfully over the top performance. As for the magical matchmaker himself, Scott plays his Chris/Santa character with the absolute lack of subtlety viewers should expect in this kind of thing. You can view that as a good or bad thing, but it certainly didn’t spoil any of my enjoyment.

A good mix of magic, contrivances, and small-town charm, Matchmaker Santa is one of the better examples of this kind of thing. As long as you are in the mood for what it aims to provide, you should be perfectly satisfied by the time it all ends, although the end feels just a bit rushed and (even for a Christmas TV movie) a bit too convenient. I liked it anyway.

6/10

Tuesday, 27 December 2022

The Preacher's Wife (1996)

Because I have been a fan of The Bishop's Wife for so many years, I was never in a rush to check out this mid-'90s remake. I knew I would get around to it one day, Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington in main roles would see to that, but I never made it a priority. Until now. I wish I could say that I enjoyed it, but it pales in comparison to the original film, as well as not really doing good enough in simpler, Christmas movie, terms.

Courtney B. Vance is Reverend Henry Biggs, a man who is struggling with his role. He seems to be stuck in a bit of a rut, unable to truly inspire members of his congregation, and unable to figure out the best way to effectively help the community. He's also not been present in his marriage to Julia (Houston), a young woman who tries to support her husband at all times, and who provides the best singing voice in the church choir. Thankfully, an angel (Dudley, played by Denzel Washington) is sent down to help. Nobody really believes that he is an angel though, and everyone should forget all about him once his work is done.

Written by Nat Mauldin and Allan Scott, reworking the source material from the Robert Nathan novel and the 1947 movie, The Preacher's Wife should work much better than it does. There are great people in central roles, including Gregory Hines, Jenifer Lewis, and Loretta Devine, and Penny Marshall is the talented director helming the thing. It actually does well, raising a smile here and there, when focusing on the character of Dudley, largely thanks to an absolutely charming performance from Washington helping to keep any negative thoughts at bay. It's also altogether easier to enjoy whenever Houston is lighting up the screen with her presence. Sadly, and somewhat paradoxically, it is dragged down by moments that feel obviously inserted into the plot to give screentime to Houston's singing talent. She has a great voice, no doubt about it, but the whole film screeches to a halt for a few different songs that could easily have been excised in service of much better pacing.

As horrible as it might seem, I could also have done without the horrible performance from the main child star in the cast, Justin Pierre Edmund. Playing Jeremiah Biggs, the son of Henry and Julia, Edmund is just overdoing everything in a film that works best when the cast are allowed to be relatively quiet. He's not alone, this is a film that feels very much like the professional adults were happily giving a chance to amateur youngsters.

I could heap praise on both Washington and Houston all day long, and I'd kill to just once look as sharply-dressed as the former, but Vance also does really good work, despite the fact that he has the toughest of the three lead roles, as the harried man trying to balance his faith and love with harsh realities. Lewis does well with her role (playing the concerned mother of Houston's character), Devine is left with little to do, but she's someone I tend to enjoy in any role, and Hines has to be the main villain, but suffers from a rushed third act that delivers the expected ending without any of it feeling truly earned. There are also roles for Paul Bates and Lionel Ritchie, the former playing a kind-hearted soul pining for Devine's character and the latter playing, well, Lionel Ritchie.

Some people will be able to enjoy this more than I did, especially those just wanting to hear Whitney Houston sing some songs that aren't in the usual rotation of her many hits, but it's hard to view it as anything other than a huge disappointment. It's also (pleasantly) surprising that nobody has tried to remake it again recently. I wouldn't even mind if they gave Washington another chance in the role of the helpful angel.

4/10

Monday, 26 December 2022

Boxing Day (2021)

Although a seasonal rom-com with plenty of extra drama, Boxing Day, as the name suggests, is also a film about that time during the holidays when the focus isn't necessarily on the gifts and messages of love and peace. Boxing day is when people enjoy leftovers, and it's when the warm glow of Christmas Day starts to turn into a roaring fire, one that can either keep you energised and glowing or can have you raring to restart that long-running feud with your cousin that used to steal all of your best Matchbox cars and Action Man figures.

Aml Ameen is Melvin, a young British man who is about to reluctantly head home for the holidays to visit his family. He'll have to make an appearance, despite the fact that his main reason for heading back to the UK is to help promote his new book. Melvin's family will all be meeting his partner, Lisa (Aja Naomi King). More importantly, Lisa will be meeting them. There are the usual ups and downs you get with any family unit, but things are complicated when Lisa finds out that Melvin's sister, Aretha (Tamara Lawrance), is an assistant to a talented British singer, Georgia (Leigh-Anne Pinnock). Oh, and Georgia used to be in a serious relationship with Melvin.

As well as starring in this, Aml Ameen both wrote (with Bruce Purnell) and directed the movie, basing a lot of the general atmosphere and the family interactions on his own experiences. I was initially worried, my default position when I realise that a star has given himself a role in something they have also written and directed, but there was no need. Ameen proves himself very much up to every task he assigns himself, and he steps back often enough to allow some light to shine on his very talented cast.

King is very easy to root for throughout, put in an awkward situation from very early on and coming out swinging to prove that she's no passing distraction, and Pinnock (making a smooth transition from singing with Little Mix to portraying a singer here) does well opposite her. The two women both have strong attachments to Ameen's character, but you can also easily believe that both may open their eyes to other possibilities at any point, leaving Melvin alone and full of regret. Lawrance is great fun, Sheyi Cole is hilarious as the love-struck Josh (pursuing a young woman who used to date his cousin, played by Samson Kayo, much to the cousin's displeasure), and there are lovely moments for Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Stephen Dillane, Robbie Gee, and everyone else involved in some of the scenes that depict the cosy chaos of a large family gathering.

As well as the mix of expected tropes and melodrama, Boxing Day has a wonderful soundtrack selection, one or two moments of sweetness that play out well, without somehow feeling too schmaltzy, and a great look at the holiday season through a different filter. Populated by a cast that is almost entirely black, this is a film depicting a specific experience within a Caribbean-British household, but it's in being so specific, and drawing on such personal memories, that Ameen manages to hit the bullseye for viewers who will soon see that, while exact customs and scenarios will differ, we're all in the same boat when it comes to balancing the love and support along with the emotional turbulence and insanity that is all part of being part of any family.

A bit cheesy, quite predictable, maybe slightly overlong, Boxing Day is nevertheless a great directorial debut from Ameen. Don't expect perfection and you should enjoy it as much as I did. Which is also a good motto for the entire holiday season.

7/10

Sunday, 25 December 2022

Netflix And Chill: Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022)

It can be hard to decide on your favourite ever movie adaptation of A Christmas Carol - there's the lure of Alastair Sim, the lure of Albert Finney in a musical, and the lure of muppets, of course - but it's quite easy to identify the less impressive examples. The ones that feel more like a serving of lumpy gravy than a mix of the gravy and the grave, if you will. Excluding the most low-budget and independent movies, my own personal least favourite is Christmas Carol: The Movie, with the 2009 Jim Carrey vehicle sitting not too far above it. And now they can be joined by Scrooge: A Christmas Carol, a film that commits the crime of feeling even more lifeless than the spirits that visit the central character, despite the fact that it is, apparently, an animated remake/reworking of the 1970 Albert Finney movie (although that maybe explains the main problem with it, I have never been the biggest fan of that film either).

Luke Evans voices Scrooge. The ghost of Christmas past is voiced by Olivia Colman, a highlight, while Trevor Dion Nicholas voices Christmas present (and the third spectre says all that needs to be said without speaking aloud). Jonathan Pryce is Jacob Marley, James Cosmo is Mr. Fezziwig, Jessie Buckley is Isabel Fezziwig, and Johnny Flynn is Bob Cratchit.

I am not sure if I can do much more here, naming the main cast members seems to be the closest I can come to being nice about this film.

Directed by Stephen Donnelly, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Leslie Bricusse (who also provided the songs dotted throughout the narrative, or wrote them back when the 1970 movie was being crafted, and who sadly died just a couple of months before the film was released), this is a flat and dull retread of a story that viewers can watch in at least a dozen better movies. Easily. As much as I like many of the cast members, very few of them get to do anything that helps their performance stand out. The notable exception is Colman, who has a voice and manner that turns out to be a great match for her character.

The animation throughout is nice enough, it's clean and neat, but there's a lack of real artistry, and the same can be said of the songs, unfortunately. I dare anyone to get to the end of this and then relay one of the musical numbers back to me. Not exactly, just hum a rendition at me. I doubt anyone could manage it, even if you tried while the end credits were still rolling, because they are so unmemorable.

As disappointed as I was with the visuals and the songs, I was much more disappointed by the script. I can only assume that Donnelly wanted to present a film that felt like a mix of the fresh and the familiar, but he omits all the best phrases that fans of the story will be waiting for. Either use the animation to complement a beautifully traditional adaptation or use the bare bones of the tale to give viewers an enjoyably fresh new spin on it (love or hate Spirited, at least it tried the latter), but don't land smack bang in the middle. That just ends up pleasing nobody, although complete newcomers may find just enough here to enjoy.

Maybe I'll revisit this one day, and I might view it a bit more favourably, especially if it just stays available to stream while I'm full of hot chocolate and mince pies, lazily browsing for something that won't require me to overthink anything. That's a big maybe though.

3/10

Saturday, 24 December 2022

Shudder Saturday: Scare Package II: Rad Chad's Revenge (2022)

The fact that I have a daily blog is only part of my reason for reviewing movies. The main reason is the fact that I watch so many movies, because I am both compelled to do so, and love doing so, and reviews can remind me of my thoughts on everything I watched. Which is why I try to review everything I watch, whether it is in-depth or in capsule form. So I dived into Scare Package II: Chad's Revenge after reading a review of Scare Package, and reminding myself that I enjoyed, but didn't exactly love, it.

What we have here is another anthology of horror tales, all of them also overflowing with humour and meta commentary, couched this time in a Saw-like framing narrative, as the mourners attending the funeral of Chad end up forced to watch some short films in between engaging in some deadly games. As well as Chad, there are a couple of other characters returning from the first movie. But who will be left alive by the time the end credits roll? And why does Chad still command so much attention from others, despite the obvious obstacle of him being dead?

Although not everyone comes back to work behind the camera on this, both Aaron B. Koontz and Cameron Burns, the main creators of the concept, once again curate a fine selection of tales from a variety of talented people, including themselves (of course), Alexandra Barreto, Anthony Cousins, Jed Shepherd, John Karsko, Ryan Schaddelee, Rachele Wiggins, and Jed Shepherd. In fact, and there's no need for me to beat about the bush here, everything here is better than what we were given in the first package. The main storyline feels less smug, the jokes and references all land better, and you get a general feeling of the central idea having been given a shot in the arm. It's so good that I'd happily now pick up both Scare Package movies in a nice double-bill set.

I won't go through every one of the segments individually, but highlights include a brilliant parody that blends Stand By Me with Re-Animator (as well as adding a touch of The Fly), the frankly near-flawless "Welcome To The '90s", which uses genre tropes to explore the changes to horror movie final girls over the years, and a reunion for most of the women who were last seen onscreen together in Host. And the main Hellraiser gag in the third act made me laugh harder than any other comedy horror moment I can think of from the past year or two, as ridiculous as it was.

The cast provides a good mix of the familiar, either due to their involvement in the first film (Jeremy King, Zoe Graham, Byron Brown, etc) or their standing in the horror genre (Kelli Maroney, Graham Skipper, Maria Olsen, and one or two others), and everyone feels very well-suited to their roles, whether they are playing a killer, an expert in horror lore, a potential survivor, or a frustrated participant in a deadly game.

I am still not sure if this just caught me in a much better mood than the first movie or whether it really was such a step up. Every gag (comedy and gore) feels like it lands, the energy of each sequence helps it to feel perfectly paced throughout, and I could have easily rewatched it as soon as my first viewing was over, knowing I missed some details and jokes that will reward repeat viewings. I hope this ends up released on some double-bill with the first movie, and I would now be eager to see if they could successfully pull off a third instalment.

8/10

Friday, 23 December 2022

The Christmas Tapes (2022)

Co-written and co-directed by Robert Livings and Randy Nundlall Jr., The Christmas Tapes is a Christmassy horror anthology movie that starts off with a bold move . . . providing an important role for Greg Sestero. That might seem a bit harsh, as he's certainly not the worst part of that infamously awful film, The Room, he may always be closely associated with, but it's worth mentioning at the very start of this review. Because it a) shows the faith that the film-makers have in their material, and b) warns viewers that they will have another chance to figure out exactly how they feel about the acting abilities of Sestero.

Sestero plays a visitor who ends up at the house of a family about to celebrate Christmas Eve. Before anyone can say "there's no room at the inn", he has taken charge of the situation, has everyone cowering in terror, and takes time to present his captive audience with a number of amateur video recordings. The first concerns a couple who go camping in the wrong neck of the woods, the second shows a man about to be delivered as a Christmas gift to his kids, by a man dressed as Santa, and the final tape shows a couple struggling to figure out the best way to clear their home of what may be a dangerous spirit. There's one other little story shoehorned in there, but it's so weak that it's not worth spending much time on. Thankfully, it's mercifully brief, but that makes it all the more surprising that it was included.

While not exactly overflowing with familiar faces, this is a film with a cast that generally acquits themselves well to what is asked of them. Sestero, for better or worse, is a name, and he's one of three used throughout the film to give viewers someone to recognise. The biggest, certainly to genre fans, is Vernon Wells, who enjoys himself as the potential delivery man dressed up as Santa Claus. You also get Dave Sheridan, stealing a number of scenes, and almost the entire movie, in the role of Paranormal Perry, a character who plays an integral role in the final tale. I am not highlighting these actors to diminish the work done by others. It's just that Livings and Nundlall Jr. seem to have deliberately planned these "special appearances" to help the pacing of the film, as well as making good use of them in roles that allow them to have fun without straying too far from their comfort zones.

Although this is an anthology movie that doesn't have the risk of too many cooks spoiling the broth, it's interesting that every short tale feels unique. I wouldn't say there's anything here that stands out as being great, but nothing stands out as being awful either (some dodgy CGI and that super-short, almost plotless, story aside). This is a surprisingly solid piece of work. It's maybe not good enough to warrant repeat viewings, or even a glowing recommendation, but I enjoyed it while it was on, and I am inclined to check out anything else from Livings and Nundlall Jr.

Audio quality is inconsistent, but never terrible, and it's a shame that the format basically ensures that the visuals lack any great style or flourishes, but there’s enough fun and creativity here to make it worthwhile. I am not sure if anyone will remember it in a few years time, but it’s always good to have a new festive horror to mix in amongst the numerous established favourites.

6/10

Thursday, 22 December 2022

Violent Night (2022)

Take a good handful of Bad Santa, add some Home Alone, and then mix in an overflowing bowl full of Die Hard (as well as Die Hard 2: Die Harder) and you get Violent Night. If that sounds like a great time at the movies for you, and I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t, then you are bound to enjoy this. Maybe not from the first scenes though.

David Harbour plays Santa Claus. Not someone who thinks they are Santa Claus. Not a Santa Claus wannabe. He IS the man in the big red suit. He even has the reindeer, the magic to get up and down chimneys, a a sack that magically fills with gifts for children. And, of course, the infamous “naughty or nice” list. He’s grown jaded though, so many kids nowadays just seem to want videogames or cash for Christmas. Young Trudy (Leah Brady) is a rare exception. All she wants for Christmas is for her parents (Jason, played by Alex Hassell, and Linda, played by Alexis Louder) to repair their relationship. Jason is working on that, but it may involve finally standing up to his rich and powerful mother (Gertrude, played by Beverly D’Angelo). Gertrude is so rich and powerful that the planned family Christmas gathering is interrupted by a group of armed robbers (headed up by John Leguizamo’s “Scrooge”) who plan an efficient and ruthless redistribution of her millions. They didn’t account for one thing though. Santa Claus is in the house, and he’s about to go to town on all of them.

Director Tommy Wirkola has been delivering excellent movies now for some time, and many horror fans have been a fan of his work since the wonderfully bonkers Dead Snow movies, so it’s no surprise to find that this is funny and gory throughout. That is what Wirkola does so well. What is a bit of a surprise, although he has some experience in the genre, is just how good the action beats are. This is a film that stays perfectly balanced between the fantastical and bone-breaking reality. The cast all nail the tone of the whole thing, and they’re helped by a script that improves greatly once you realise that it’s not being coy about the central concept.

Writers Pat Casey and Josh Miller previously served up the Sonic movies (as well as sharpening their candy canes with 12 Deadly Days for TV), and they grow in confidence once they have set everyone and everything in place. The first scenes featuring Harbour felt a bit odd to me, as I wasn’t entirely sure how we were meant to view his interpretation of Santa, but things then move along nicely, with sharp dialogue and plot construction, to get us all where we want to be . . . watching a film that is pleasingly unabashed about it being a Santa-centric Die Hard. The references and gags come thick and fast, and the fights are well-staged and impressively creative, but nothing is done in a way that feels too smug or self-indulgent.

Harbour is a surprisingly brilliant Santa, allowed to be sweet and loving one minute, capable of deadly violence the next. He doesn’t look ripped, but certainly looks capable of handling himself (especially when he has the right weapon to hand). Leguizamo is just as brilliant as the main villain, able to be the standard baddie that we need, but also able to deliver a standard Christmas movie tale of seasonal tragedy with a straight face that stops that moment being as ridiculous as it could be. Brady is a sweet youngster, and gets more involved in the action while the third act plays out, Hassell and Louder are decent, D’Angelo is a canny bit of casting, of course, and the other person I need to mention is Cam Gigandet, comfortably giving me the best Mark Wahlberg parody since Andy Samberg (no accent, but it’s obvious from his very first line that he’s definitely written as “a Mark Wahlberg” type). Edi Patterson is also fun, playing the scheming sister of Hassell’s character, and there is fun to be had with the variety of evil henchmen, including a sociopath played by Brendan Fletcher and the oblivous-of-the-pain-they-have-coming characters played by André Eriksen and Mitra Suri.

You also get a score and soundtrack that works perfectly alongside the blood-spattered snowy visuals, and some super-cheesy one-liners that work because, well, you just have to admire the commitment to the concept. I am not sure if people will view this as a new holiday classic, but I know some might. I will certainly be aiming to add it to the roster of other films I like to watch during this time of year.

8/10