Shudder Saturday: Don't Knock Twice (2016)

It is often no fun to be as curious and/or optimistic as I am. Along with my need to see everything I can, to form my own opinion on it, it means that I end up quite often disappointed. Which was the case here, after someone reminded me that Don't Knock Twice was available. Nothing about it really drew me in, both the plot and the promotional imagery seemed clichéd and lame, but once it was brought up in conversation, well, I knew I had to see it.

To the surprise of no one, this turned out to be just about as bad as everyone else had already said it was.

The paper-thin plot concerns a young girl (Chloe, played by Lucy Boynton) who knocks twice on the door of a woman believed to have been a child-snatching demon. When she was alive. Bring harassed by people drove her to an early grave, so we are told. Lucy no longer feels safe at the care home she resides in, and so goes to spend some long-overdue time with her mother (Jess, played by Katee Sackhoff), who was useless many years ago while occupying her time with drug addiction. Before you can say "knock, knock" there are bumps in the night, bumps in the day, and jump scares aplenty en route to a finale you will struggle to care about.

Directed by Caradog W. James, who wrote and directed the interesting little sci-fi movie The Machine a few years ago (recently also developed into a TV movie, although I cannot say whether that is a progression or simple remake), Don't Knock Twice is about as far removed from that as you can get. Not only is the premise ill-conceived and paper-thin, it's just poorly handled throughout, with nothing more onscreen than a mix of some poor jump scares and nonsensical plotting.

Writers Mark Huckerby and Nick Ostler have a LOT of writing credits for children's TV shows, which makes a lot of sense. This is something that would play out a lot better if pared down and packaged into an episode of something like Goosebumps or Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

All of this would be easier to tolerate if the cast was good enough to make up for the obvious failings. Unfortunately, it's not. Boynton does her best in her role, and she's the best out of everyone onscreen, while you have a supporting turn from Pooneh Hajimohammadi that requires her to look wide-eyed and alarmed almost as soon as things start to gear up for the second act, and Nick Moran is a detective named Red Herring . . . I mean Boardman, his name is Boardman. But is he all that he appears to be? As for Sackhoff, I have enjoyed her in a couple of roles, but I certainly don't get my hopes up when I see her name listed in any movie credits. Does anyone think she's a good actress, or is her career now maintained thanks to her landing a role in Battlestar Galactica that gained her a loyal fanbase for life?*

This is really not worth your time, even if you're after something that won't require you to concentrate too hard. It has some decent production values, and the benefit of Boynton in a lead role, but there's nothing else here to recommend it.

*And should I check out that show one day?

3/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can get a blu here.