Netflix And Chill: Meet The Blacks (2016)

I can only think of one reason that Meet The Blacks exists, considering how unfunny I found it, and that is to show that black people can deliver comedies just as bad as anything from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Although this isn't a parody exactly in line with their movies, it similarly misunderstands how to turn the main premise into something truly funny.

And that main premise is very simple. Mike Epps plays Carl Black, a man who has suddenly come into a large sum of money, which allows him to move his family into a lovely new home in Beverly Hills. Not only will that give them a daily boost of happiness, it will also allow them to stay safe and avoid the perils of purge night (the one night when all crime is legal). Oh yeah, this is a movie set in a USA that has a purge night, allowing the film-makers to spoof The Purge. Unfortunately, Carl is about to have numerous encounters with people who want to act aggressively towards him. On purge night.

I am once again depressed by my shocking lack of quality control when it comes to the movies I choose to watch. I saw Meet The Blacks available, I remembered thinking that the trailer I saw a number of years ago left me wondering if it might be a worthwhile satire, and I made a snap decision that I started to regret within the first 5-10 minutes of watching the movie. Everything begins with a clumsy explanation delivered in voiceover, and it only gets worse from there.

Director Deon Taylor can receive most of the blame, considering they also helped to co-write the screenplay with Nicole DeMasi. Taylor doesn't have too many directorial credits to his name, although he did also give us a sequel to this film (good grief, I already weep as I realise that I will one day watch that sequel), and DeMasi has an even smaller résumé, with their screenwriting work before this consisting of two TV promo pieces for Ella Enchanted and one short film. Perhaps not having much experience behind the camera should have had people trying to cast the best people in front of the camera, but that is far from the case.

Epps isn't a good lead. He cannot improve a script which leaves him playing someone unfunny, uncaring, hard to sympathise with, and never really changing from beginning to end. Zulay Henao, Alex Henderson, and Bresha Webb make up the rest of the Black family, and they fare a bit better than Epps, mainly because they are often sidelined for many of the supporting, much less enjoyable/funny, players. I'll mention Lil Duval, Charlie Murphy, Andrew Bachelor, Phil Austin, Kate Enggren, and Gary Owen, but I'm not going to insult anyone by specifying how good or bad each one is. Suffice to say that most tend to be bad. But at least you get cameos from George Lopez and Mike Tyson, right? To be fair, the Tyson cameo was the moment that did make me come closest to chuckling, and others may enjoy that scene as much as I did.

Maybe I just wasn't in the target demographic for this one. I didn't like the main character, I didn't care about how any of the plot unfolded, and none of the parody worked. The whole thing felt lazy, amateurish, and insulting to viewers who deserve better. Which, due to me watching this just one day after watching Skinamarink, now makes me two for two during a hugely disappointing weekend for my viewing choices.

2/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Prime Time: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)

It may have a bad reputation, as far as I'm aware, but Vampire In Brooklyn is one of those films I had been meaning to get around to for a decade or so now. It's one of the few Wes Craven movies I had somehow missed, and a starring vehicle for Eddie Murphy that intrigued me.

Murphy plays Maximillian (although, of course, he also plays some other characters onscreen), a vampire who arrives in Brooklyn in search of the woman he loves, Detective Rita Veder (Angela Bassett). He gets himself an assistant, Julius Jones (Kadeem Hardison), and starts his attempt to get Veder to fall in love with him almost immediately. That's really all there is to it.

I have to say that I expected the worst when I started watching this. I recall this period not giving us anywhere near the best from Murphy, and Craven was a year away from the film that would push him back up the horror strata and cement his reputation as a provider of quality pop culture content (Scream being that big hit).

This isn't all that bad. It's not fantastic, but it's not all that bad. The biggest problem with it, as you might suspect, is the tone. The comedy often works well enough, but only when everyone involved remembers it can be in the mix. Thankfully, Murphy works well enough while playing his character straight to make it worth your time. He's an excellent vampire, even if he's often just playing a more restrained and old-fashioned version of his usual confident persona.

The script, by Michael Lucker, Chris Parker, and Charlie Murphy, works best when twisting the familiar tropes. Highlights include Hardison's character going from zero to maximum Renfield in super-quick time, a sequence in which Murphy plays a preacher and then has to excuse himself from church, and an ending that actually feels like it belongs in a proper vampire movie. If a bit more of this could have been added, although I have gone blank on specifics (it's early, I need coffee), then the end result would have been even more enjoyable.

Having already praised Murphy for his performance as Maximillian, I'll just say that he's also good when portraying both the aforementioned preacher, and also portraying a low-level hood. The makeup works, as does the fact that he plays these characters for a few key scenes, and not throughout the entire movie in a way that indulges his seeming need to sometimes play everybody onscreen. Bassett is great (when is she not?), and Allen Payne does a solid job of being the Detective working alongside her, and also falling in love with her. Hardison is a lot of fun in his role, especially as soon as he starts to lose body parts, while both John Witherspoon and Zakes Mokae are welcome whenever they're onscreen in their supporting roles.

Maybe my low expectations factored in here, but Vampire In Brooklyn is a good attempt to mix the familiar and the new. The 100-minute runtime means it manages to not overstay its welcome, the cast play well together, and it certainly belongs at this part of Craven's career, when he was trying some different approaches to horror material.

6/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Netflix And Chill: Norbit (2007)

This is where my brain takes me, and I hate it as much as you do. I had seen Norbit many years ago, and I remembered not liking it. I couldn't find anywhere I had reviewed or rated it, however, since my reformed completist attitude to logging my movie viewings on both IMDb and Letterboxd. I saw it was on Netflix and figured I might as well give it a go.

Ouch.

The basic plot revolves around Norbit (Eddie Murphy), a timid young man who was abandoned as a baby and taken in by Mr. Wong (also, ummmmm, Eddie Murphy, in a bit of stunt casting more troubling than most of his multiple roles over the years). Norbit ends up in a relationship with Rasputia, an obnoxious and overpowering woman who doesn't really treat Norbit as he might deserve to be treated. And the adult Rasputia is played by, yes, Eddie Murphy. Things start to look different when an old flame, Kate (Thandie Newton), comes back to town.

The first of a few movies that Murphy starred in while being directed by Brian Robbins, this remains arguably the worst of their collaborations, despite the stiff competition from their other outings. Based on a story by Eddie and his brother, Charlie, the screenplay was then worked on by the two of them, with additional work from Jay Scherick and David Ronn, a writing duo who have a filmography most politely described as a bit hit and miss. Nobody involved can really make the material more palatable, which leaves the comedy falling flat at almost every turn.

Murphy is decidedly okay as Norbit, but only because he's more relatable and human in that incarnation than he is in either the role of Rasputia or Mr. Wong, with both of them being exaggerated caricatures designed to get easy laughs from the low-hanging fruit. Fortunately, although Murphy gets the lion's share of the screentime, there's some enjoyment to be had with the supporting cast. Terry Crews is as fun as ever, Eddie Griffin and Katt Williams have a couple of fun moments, Marlon Wayans is more amusing here than he has been in anything else from the last couple of decades, and Newton is an appealing romantic interest. You also have Cuba Gooding Jr. here, and he ends up being a LOT of fun as the man due to marry Newton, the fly in the ointment of Norbit's potential happiness.

Any fan of Murphy nowadays will know that they have to suffer through some real clunkers if they are completing a journey through his filmography. I've not seen EVERYTHING yet (that Pluto Nash movie has never felt like a high priority), but it's hard to think of anything he could do that is worse than this. It's not funny, it's full of characters you don't ever really care about, and it's just another excuse for Murphy to get made up and act in scenes alongside himself. And did I mention that it wasn't funny? Because it REALLY isn't.

2/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews