Shudder Saturday: Blood Vessel (2019)

When Blood Vessel started, I am not going to pretend that I didn't make a couple of assumptions. The first one was a prediction of the ending, and I am happy to say that I was wrong. The second one was a thought about this being a remake of a fun '80s horror Death Ship. If you're a horror fan of a certain age then you remember Death Ship, even if you never saw the movie itself. It was yet another one of those titles that had a ubiquitous trailer during the early-ish days of VHS.

But that is neither here nor there, because Blood Vessel is a different beast. And it happens to feature a different beast. It starts with a group of people drifting along in a life raft. They're in the North Atlantic. It's 1945. Tired, thirsty, and hungry, their fortunes may change when they pass by a huge ship that they manage to board. It's a Nazi ship though, but also a seemingly abandoned one. As this is a horror movie, however, viewers can be pretty sure that the ship is not as abandoned as it seems. The corpses littered around show that something very bad happened. But what? That may be revealed in time for the second half. 

Directed by Justin Dix, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Jordan Prosser, this is a film that ends up becoming a bit more disappointing after every main sequence. Not that anything is handled so badly that it is unforgivable, it's just that it starts off with a bunch of very familiar tropes and never does anything to subvert them. The stock group of characters feel as if they could be lifted from any other survival horror movies (the greedy one, the "fair maiden", the person of lower rank who is now an equal, the enemy they are forced to work with, the person driven by self-preservation, etc), and not enough of them stand out from the group to help you become invested in wanting them to stay safe. That's a shame, because Dix does a great job in the other departments, making the visual side of things a real treat. The production design throughout, the special effects, the camerawork, all of those things are great. The two main areas that let things down are the script and the main death scenes, with the latter even more disappointing than the former in some ways (us horror fans are used to some weak writing, but one or two spectacular deaths can often make up for that).

The cast don't do a bad job. Nathan Phillips is the rough potential leading man, and Alyssa Sutherland is the leading lady, both at times arguably better than the material they have to work with. The rest of the group allows for turns from Robert Taylor, Christopher Kirby, Alex Cooke, Mark Diaco, and John Lloyd Fillingham. It's a shame that they're all wasted, with nobody getting a big moment here and there to punctuate the proceedings (although you can tell that some scenes have that aim). Ruby Isobel Hall makes a stronger impression in her role, a young girl named Mya who is found on the boat, but even she is just a riff on the whole "Newt in Aliens" storyline.

Not a hard film to watch, Dix tries to at least pace everything well and it doesn't overstay its welcome, but Blood Vessel could have been much better than it is. It could have been a bloody and exciting adventure, whereas it ends up feeling like a flashback episode of The Strain instead.

5/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Iron Sky (2012)

If you have an interest in movies that are a little removed from the mainstream, if you love b-movies and horror and sci-fi films as I do or if you just keep up to date with any release that quickly builds up a fervent fanbase then you will have heard of Iron Sky. If the name doesn't ring a bell then you may have heard it dismissively described as "that mad film about moon Nazis".

What you may be unaware of is just how well Iron Sky mixes the ridiculous and the dumb with a healthy dollop of smarts and satire. It is, in many ways, stupid and it knows it. Yet it also knows just how to wring the most laughs from the concept while also delivering some fun action moments and poking fun at world politics and the global leadership assumed by America in a way that would please Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

The plot is deceptively simple. We can go back to the phrase "that mad film about moon Nazis". When a couple of astronauts land on the moon and have a look around they find a whole bunch of Nazis living quite happily there while they prepare for the day when they will return to Earth as an invading force. The Nazis are quite shocked that one of the astronauts is black (James Washington, played by Christopher Kirby) and don't realise quite how much has changed in their absence. Mr. Washington has actually been sent to the moon by a female president (played by Stephanie Paul) who has used the slogan "Black to the moon? Yes we can" and that same president is about to get a big surprise thanks to the mission. A surprise that she may be able to spin to her advantage, thanks to the help of her assistant Vivian Wagner (Peta Sergeant).

Iron Sky is also well known to many people today because of the fact that it used crowdfunding to get more than 10% of the required budget. This may lead viewers to expect an amusing movie that can't help looking cheap but nothing could be further from the truth. Considering the relatively low budget, every penny has been wisely spent and almost every frame looks gorgeous. The plentiful visual effects are nicely stylised and very, VERY well done.

Thankfully, the fact that the special effects actually LOOK special doesn't mean that the cast members were a secondary concern. From Kirby as the traumatised astronaut to Paul as the president to Sergeant as her assistant and Gotz Otto and Julia Dietze as the two main Nazis who initiate contact with Earth - everyone does a great job, playing it relatively straight but keeping the tone of every moment just right. There's also a small role for Udo Kier. As well as giving decent performances, I have to mention that Peta Sergeant and Julia Dietze also have the advantage of being very attractive to look at. As I'm sure Gotz Otto is, from the female perspective. Why do I have to mention that? Well, it's just to forewarn any red-blooded males who are about to watch the film that they may want to try to contain their excitement while viewing a woman onscreen who is, don't forget, wearing a Nazi uniform.

Timo Vuorensola is the director and he also wrote the movie, albeit with a bit of help from others including those who came up with the original concept in the first place, so he can accept most of the deserved praise. The film could have easily gone too far one way or the other. It's ridiculous and yet grounds everything in a reality created for the movie that stops it all getting far too ridiculous. It comments on world politics and, indeed, the world of "spin" but does so without bringing things to a grinding halt. It has a bit of everything in the mix but never feels like it has simply tried to cram in too much.

If you already suspect that you might enjoy this movie then I'm pretty sure that you will. It delivers exactly what you'd expect it to deliver, and then puts a little extra on top for good measure. I'll be buying this one to add to my collection ASAP.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Iron-Sky-Blu-ray-Digital-Copy/dp/B007ZZKWHY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347386039&sr=8-1