Netflix And Chill: Maestro (2023)

There's a joke that I vaguely remember, featured in at least one sitcom (but perhaps not unique), about someone spending so much time obsessing over something, a skill they want to perfect or a mammoth task that they want to complete, only to then see their achievement completely surpassed by someone who seemed to do better in a way that also felt quite effortless. The character was obviously devastated, regretting all of the time and energy that now seemed wasted. I suspect Bradley Cooper may feel the same way if, as I suspect may happen, Maestro goes through the busy awards season without adding too many paperweights to his trophy cabinet.

Although this is all about the life of celebrated conductor and composer Leonard Bernstein (Cooper), with a strong focus on how he was supported by his wife, Felicia (Carey Mulligan), it's a strange and cold experience that allows Cooper to create a parallel between himself and his subject. As the end credits rolled, I found myself wondering whether or not Bernstein had lived a life that seemed worth turning into a 2+ hour movie. With the greatest of respect to his fans and loved ones, I don't think he did.

From the use of Bernstein's music throughout to the unnecessary directorial flourishes, from the black and white sequences that lead in to the colour of the second half, everything here signifies a star seeking approval. "Look at all of my great work," Cooper seems to be crying. "Look at the make-up on my face to make me look more like Bernstein and honestly not intended to offend people". "Look at what I can do to make this story as cinematic as possible." "Look at how I handle this complex character." It's desperate, and it's not enough to distract from the fact that the film just doesn't really work.

While both Cooper and Mulligan have been on the publicity trail, they have both been at pains to frame the film as being just as much about Felicia as Leonard. They might believe that, and they might believe that Felicia was strong and supportive to a husband who needed her in his life, but the film doesn't quite convey the relationship as well as intended. Leonard Bernstein was a selfish man who spent a lot of time having his cake and eating it, all while gaslighting a woman who seemed to put up with him because the circumstances sometimes suited her.

None of these failings would seem as bad if the lead performances were good enough, but they're not. It doesn't give me any pleasure to say that, having enjoyed Cooper and (particularly) Mulligan in numerous other films, but their performing here feels more like caricature than anything else. The film doesn't know this though, staying focused on them for almost the entirety of the tiring runtime, which is the fault of Cooper the director, working from a script co-written by Cooper and Josh Singer. The supporting cast are all wasted, which makes you wonder why Cooper even bothered casting Matt Bomer, Sarah Silverman (who tries admirably to make the most of her limited role), and Maya Hawke as extra flotsam and jetsam left bobbing in the wake of Leonard Bernstein's callous carelessness.

A lot of people will enjoy this for what it is. It's an old-fashioned film that has the benefit of being able to pluck various tunes from the many works of Bernstein. It's a shame that Cooper tried to show everyone that he was delivering the greatest work of his life, both behind and in front of the camera. I was bored, sometimes angered, and never once happy to be learning about a manipulative narcissist who I would prefer to always identify through the fine body of musical work that he left behind.

3/10

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