Prime Time: Scared Shitless (2024)

The story of a plumber (Don, played by Steven Ogg) and his germophobic son, Sonny (Daniel Doheny), Scared Shitless is the kind of horror comedy you can easily imagine being pretty good when you think about the main elements. It has decent lead cast members (including Chelsea Clark and Marcia Bennett in main roles), it largely keeps all of the action in one location, and there are some decent practical effects bringing the central creature to life. 

Everything starts when Don and Sonny head along to an apartment building for a standard job. Don is trying to get Sonny to conquer his germophobia, and he thinks having him as his apprentice might just help. It turns out that their job isn't actually your usual plumbing job though, not when a creature seems to be moving around some of the pipes. Patricia (Clark) works in the building and wants discretion, but she may end up helping Don and Sonny when they all realise just how big a problem they might have on their hands.

Written by Brandon Cohen, expanding his short from a few years ago, Scared Shitless isn't helped by the fact that it's just a bit too under-written. Cohen has a fun idea at the heart of things, and benefits from the casting, but there's nothing here that's as funny or gruesome as it could be. Director Vivieno Caldinelli does well enough with the material, but what was needed was a much bigger selection of disposable characters and some more moments of bloody mayhem. Or maybe even some excessive amounts of fecal waste.

Ogg is a lot of fun in his role, being amusingly dry and dour for most of the runtime. Doheny plays his part well, being squeamish and jittery without spending every other minute fainting at the sight of anything that could contaminate his safe personal bubble. Clark is very easy to warm to, Bennett is a sweet and lovely resident who you don't want to see come to any harm, and the few other main characters are played by Lorna Wilson, Marty Adams, Donald Tripe, Mark McKinney, and Brynn Godenir. You may think that presents a decent selection of victims, but the film needed more bodies to be put in serious danger.

Undemanding horror comedy fans will find enough to enjoy here, especially when it comes to the presentation of the creature effects, but those who have seen a lot of films in this vein (and I count myself in that demographic) will be disappointed by the lack of creativity and style on display. Everything is okay, but nothing ever becomes more than okay. You can pick something better for your first choice when lining up an evening of viewings. If you're in a good mood then you could pick this as a secondary option. It might turn out to be a decent number two. 

5/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Package (2018)

The Package is a comedy directed by Jake Szymanski. The last comedy I watched that was directed by Jake Szymanski was Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates, which did not make me a fan, but I liked the sound of this one, and had heard some good feedback from a friend who had already enjoyed it.

Donnie (Luke Spencer Roberts) is looking forward to a weekend away with his friends, Sean (Daniel Doheny) and Jeremy (Eduardo Franco). It's going to be all guys together, maybe their last chance before Sean heads away back to new pastures.That was the plan anyway. But Jeremy ends up inviting his recently-made-single sister (Becky, played by Geraldine Viswanathan) and her friend (Sarah, played by Sadie Calvano), who just happens to be the ex-girlfriend of Donnie. Anyway, they get to their destination, start to drink and have fun, and then Jeremy accidentally slices off his penis while playing around with a butterfly knife. The rest of the film concerns the loyal group of friends trying to get Jeremy and his penis reattached to one another.

The Package is silly, very silly indeed. It had the potential to be downright awful but writers Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider make some good choices, not least of which is spending an equal amount of time on the characters and the moments of standard teen angst in between the penis-centred set-pieces. You get a number of times in which the dismembered member is in peril, or needing handled by someone who really doesn't want to be handling it, but you also get a potential budding relationship between Sean and Becky, and plenty of barbs exchanged by Donnie and Sarah.

Szymanski directs everything well enough, walking a thin line as he chooses to put the package front and centre in a number of scenes without always making it laughable or squirm-inducing. It's gross, yes, but it's also just a part of Jeremy that his friends want to get back to him safely. The most obvious "gross" gag - a snake bite that has to be dealt with - is outrageously funny enough to at least make viewers smile, and also leads to some fun lines later in the movie. A lot of this is down to the script, of course, but Szymanski makes the right choices when it comes to what to show and what to hold back on.

The cast, all largely unknown to me, all seemed to be having a good time. Franco may be separated from the group early on, but he has plenty of fun moments while in a hospital, Doheny is a perfectly acceptable, albeit slightly bland, lead and Roberts works best when being put in his place by Calvanoe. But the star is Viswanathan (who also stood out in Blockers), a young actress who I already look forward to seeing in any role, thanks to her ability to work equally well with comedic and more (brief) serious moments.

The Package is not a film to watch if you are already rolling your eyes at the main premise. And it's not a film that, aside from that core idea, does anything new with the teen comedy subgenre. But it's better than you might expect, and an amusing enough way to spend 90 minutes.

6/10

Here's a very different film with the same title.
Americans can collect a package here.