Screaming In High Heels: The Rise And Fall Of The Scream Queen Era (2011)

There are some good reasons why the '80s are looked back on with such fondness by horror fans. The home video boon led to a seismic shift in business models and consumer appetite (as seems to have happened again recently with the many digital services we can now try), practical effects were gloriously gloopy, and discovering real gems was a much harder task before the internet exploded, this making each positive discovery much more rewarding.

Three other reasons justifying our fondness for the decade can be found here, and they are Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer. Okay, they may not appeal to the full demographic who watched many of their movies, but each woman had a way to capture the affections of most fans.

Jason Paul Collum brings together the three ladies to discuss their experiences (how they started in the business, memorable anecdotes and such). They're not actually together onscreen, but they cover similar ground, with each lady receiving the same amount of screentime, roughly. And then we get input from the likes of Fred Olen Ray and David DeCoteau, waxing lyrical about the decade that allowed them to become such prolific directors, and the women who helped them sell their titles.

There are also plenty clips to keep us amused, and some of the stuff on display here is ridiculous. Yet I won't deny that I would, and perhaps will, watch pretty much anything with these scream queens involved. Titles and ideas were created for the sole purpose of shoehorning these actresses into some roles, and I couldn't care one bit when it leads to the likes of Evil Toons, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, and many more movies that are every bit as enjoyable as they sound.

Quigley, Stevens and Bauer approach their careers, and status, with a certain pragmatism that never leads to them looking down on the genre that made them such hot property, although it didn't necessarily make them rich. They don't claim to be experts on horror, but they do provide a view of how the scream queen phenomenon grew and grew, and how the bubble was filled up until it burst, thanks to their insider perspective.

The term didn't only apply to horror actresses in the '80s, of course, but that's certainly when it gained a popularity, and it's when companies decided to recruit more and more women specifically to mould into that role, which inevitably led to a decline in quality of the "stars" given convention time to meet and greet (and often get money from) fans. As these three ladies discuss that situation, it's hard to disagree with their disappointment. Yes, it could seem bitchy and toxic, but it doesn't.

As is the way with everything, something was seen to be popular, and was then exploited to the point that the market became oversaturated and people started to suffer, in terms of quality and in terms of finances. Thankfully, the original, and best, will always outlast the many copycats who come and go, and Quigley, Stevens and Bauer remain firm fan favourites while so many other names have been forgotten, consigned to the VHS bargain bin of history.

P.S. If you want to help Linnea Quigley out of a bad spot then please visit here and do what you can.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Screaming-High-Heels-Brinke-Stevens/dp/B008A0RGMC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413577759&sr=8-1&keywords=screaming+in+high+heels

Beverly Hills Vamp (1989)

Directed by (the infamous?) Fred Olen Ray, Beverly Hills Vamp is simultaneously awful and pretty great. The plot is as slim as it is ridiculous, and it's the least important aspect of the movie. This is just an excuse to see some pretty women being vamps, "enjoy" some awful gags, and look on in wide-eyed wonderment at the strangely brilliant Eddie Deezen. Imagine a gangly Jerry Lewis trying to impersonate Groucho Marx while fitted with a voice-altering device that makes him sound like a high-pitched Joe Pesci and you've got the general idea.

Deezen and two of his friends, Tim Conway Jr. and Tom Shell, want to make it in the movie business. After one meeting, they then decide to go out for an evening of fun. They end up at a house overseen by Madame Cassandra (Britt Ekland), unaware that all of the alluring women are actually vampires. Deezen resists any temptation, as he's faithful to his girlfriend, Molly (Brigitte Burdine), and that's what keeps him safe. But can he keep his friends from being bitten?

Written by Ernest D. Farino, this is a scattershot film that throws everything at viewers in an attempt to fill out the skimpy premise. There are gags, characters sometimes break the fourth wall and comment on the film that they're in, minor characters (such as the one played by Caryle Waldman) are given their own little skits, beautiful women act foolish, and Eddie Deezen overshadows the whole thing with his own inimitable, hand-waving style. There's also some fairly amusing lines delivered with great camp by Ralph Lucas, who also gets an unexpected "honour" with his last scene.

Director Fred Olen Ray is no fool, however, and he knows that people aren't going to sit down and watch this movie for the plot. Oh no. Most viewers, who will mostly be male, will watch this for the female stars. Ekland is the big name, but she's often sidelined in favour of the younger talent; Debra Lamb, Jillian Kesner, and Michelle Bauer.

Ahhhhhhhh Michelle Bauer. If Bauer wasn't in the movie then I don't mind admitting that I could easily take two points off the final rating given here. But she IS in the movie, and that's enough for me to rate the film as above average. Because she'll always be one of my favourite '80s scream queens.

Anyone who doesn't share my love for her (and if not, why not?) can always adjust the rating accordingly.

6/10

No DVD release seems to be available, unfortunately, so check out the movie here, for the time being - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyG5BZtPZIo

As I couldn't find a decent screenshot to use, this picture of the gorgeous Michelle Bauer will have to do.

Super Shark (2011)

It's not surprising that Super Shark is a bad film. It's directed by Fred Olen Ray (who also co-wrote the thing with Clyde McCoy and Antonio Olivas). It has the word shark in the title. After the word super. And the biggest name in the cast is John Schneider. Now I like John Schneider in most of his movie appearances but an A-list headliner he ain't.

I'll try to contain my giggles while I attempt to explain "the plot". You see, there's this shark and it can even jump onto land and do other super stuff, which makes it a Super Shark. The shark is responsible for destroying an oil rig and that brings Oceanic Investigator Kat Carmichael (played by Sarah Lieving) onto the scene. She hires a boat captained by a local man named Chuck (played by Tim Abell) and the two soon realise that something wasn't quite legitimate about the drilling in the area. Kat questions company man Wade (played by Schneider) about his business practices but while it quickly becomes clear that Wade has something to hide it also becomes clear that there's something potentially damaging in the sea. Is it pollution? That may be what some people are thinking until Super Shark pops his fin up to say hello.

Knowing that this would be a bad film, I was hoping to at least find it one of the many "so bad that it's good" movies I have enjoyed so much over the years. A lot of films from The Asylum come under that category and Fred Olen Ray has made one or two good films over the years. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers isn't for everyone but I was damn glad when I finally got to see it, and Evil Toons is, well, ummmm, well actually it's pretty bad but showcases a few fantastic scream queens.

Sadly, however, this is just a bad movie that doesn't even do enough to allow viewers to laugh at its ineptitude. I gave the thing an extra point because of an amusing, and completely gratuitous, bikini babes competition but there isn't enough good stuff to make up for the horrible CGI (the shark looks like it has just escaped from the 1980s Jaws arcade game), the poor script, the poor acting (Schneider still gets a pass but he's the only one), the unappealing cast of characters and the sloppy execution of every moment that features the shark.

It's bad. The fact that there's a groovy theme tune and that the makers of the movie clearly wanted to replicate something along the lines of Sharktopus doesn't make it any better. Well, okay, I admit that it DOES make it a little bit better but I'm still reining in my generosity for this one.

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Super-Shark-John-Schneider/dp/B006BZ8NZM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348078943&sr=8-1&keywords=super+shark