Prime Time: Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)

While the first Crocodile movie decided to take a fairly typical approach of putting a group of young adults in peril, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (a film I first saw many years ago under the title Crocodile 2: Death Roll) decides to change things up a bit. The victims here are a group of armed robbers and some stranded airplane crew and passengers/hostages. So you can have all of your crocodile carnage, but you also get the kind of posturing and evil baddies who wouldn't look out of place in an '80s exploitation movie.

Heidi Lenhart plays Mia, a flight attendant looking forward to getting home and reuniting with her boyfriend, Zach (Chuck Walczak). That plan is thrown into disarray when a group of criminals on the plane cause a ruckus, to put it mildly, resulting in the plane crashing into a large area of swampland. And that large area of swampland contains one large crocodile. Zach hires a tracker, Roland (Martin Kove), to go looking for Mia, the criminals keep trying to just look out for themselves, and everyone soon realises that they need to be looking out for a killer crocodile.

While writers Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch are back on board for this schlocky sequel, it's Gary Jones in the director's chair this time around. Having previously delivered both Mosquito and Spiders, Jones has good form when it comes to mixing animal monsters with human killers. It's a shame that this film lacks the humour of some of his other work, seeming to instead wallow in clichés and moments that are unintentionally hilarious (no, considering the quality of the acting on display here, I'm not going to believe anyone that tells me it is all deliberate, although a better cast might have managed to lift the material).

Lenhart isn't a bad female lead, despite having to utter one of the worst "send off" lines I have ever heard. Darryl Theirse also isn't too bad, playing the leader of the criminals. Then you have Kove, who actually DOES feel as if he gets a grip on the material better than anyone else. His grizzled and savvy tracker is the most fun character in the film, and Kove plays him in a near-permanent state of hungover and tired nonchalance. Walczak isn't great in his role, but it's easy to forget everyone else onscreen when you watch the scenery-chewing turn from Jon Sklaroff (playing a scuzzy criminal named Sol), who is arguably the worst performer onscreen.

If you liked the first movie then I'd still think twice before recommending this one to you. It's not as much fun, it's not as well made, and the crocodile feels like less of a constant threat, even when everyone eventually finds themselves stuck in the swampland area that is basically croc's dining room. It's enjoyable for the way it veers erratically between creature feature and sleazy crime flick, but it doesn't ever satisfy as one or the other.

4/10

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Boogeyman 3 (2008)

Much like the first movie in this series, Boogeyman 3 has an interesting idea at the heart of it. It's just a shame that the idea is hampered by the dull script from Brian Sieve and the pedestrian direction from Gary Jones. The end result isn't completely horrible, but it's bland and uninteresting from start to finish.

Nikke Sanderson plays Audrey, a young woman who happens to be the daughter of a main character killed off in Boogeyman 2. Unaware of exactly what went down when her father died, Audrey ends up taking ideas from some of his writing that she discovers. Which means that it's not long until the boogeyman comes along. The film then moves to focus on Sarah (Erin Cahill), the actual lead character for the rest of the movie. Sarah is a student, the host of a radio show, and someone who loves to help others in need. When Audrey catches up with Sarah and explains her recent boogeyman-related experiences, Sarah does her best to help. That's not enough, however, and people soon start dying all around Sarah.

There are times when Boogeyman 3 feels like some reworked Elm Street movie, without any impressive gore FX or a decent main character. That's not to say that it's a bloodless affair, it's just neither inventive nor gory enough to make any lasting impression on horror fans.

Cahill is okay in the main role, yet I can think of at least a dozen other actresses from the world of indie horror who could fill her shoes. Mind you, she has more presence than anyone else onscreen, so her being picked for the lead role is no coincidence. The rest of the cast feels so bland and homogenous that I can't even be bothered to highlight any other performances. Oh, there are different character types, for sure, but they all end up just being the same young folk who may or may not meet a sticky end.

There's nothing else worth highlighting either, apart from the last 10 minutes, which provides both a satisfying conclusion to events, and also an unexpected appearance from Jayne Wisener (a young actress best known for her work on some British TV shows).

If you managed to sit through the first movie, and then managed to get through the second movie, there's nothing here so bad that you won't be able to find it passable enough to complete your trilogy viewing (as I did).

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/Triple-Feature-Boogeyman-Barry-Watson/dp/B003UN0752/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411851034&sr=1-1&keywords=boogeyman

Spiders (2000)

Yes, Spiders is a bad film in many ways. It's a horror movie about giant spiders so you should know what to expect. However, Spiders is also great fun in many ways. It hits absolutely every beat that you expect and it shows no shame in doing so. In fact, there are even a few laughs and self-aware moments in the script - especially when one young man realises the situation developing and says that it's "like a bad science fiction movie" - as well as the required amount of spider mayhem.

The plot involves a bunch of young folk putting themselves in peril by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A space shuttle crashes and they go to investigate the wreckage. When a bunch of government types turn up to remove bodies and help any survivors, the young folk try to keep hidden and go along for the ride to find out just what's going on a la the Scooby gang. Unfortunately, what's going on turns out to involve conspiracy theories, meddling with things that shouldn't really be meddled with and, of course, some big, ugly bastards with eight legs.

Directed by Gary Jones, working from a script by Stephen David Brooks, Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch that was based on a story by Boaz Davidson, Spiders isn't going to be the first film choice for anyone seeking high art but it's surprisingly good for what it is.

The special effects, for starters, are very good at times. That will probably have something to do with the fact that KNB Effects worked on the movie. Not every practical effect is convincing, and the CGI is pretty poor in places, but there are some great moments of gore and gloopiness.

The acting is also . . . . . . . . . oh wait, nope. The acting isn't that good BUT everyone involved somehow manages to give the impression that they're being a good sport about it all, going along with every ridiculous turn of events. Leading lady Lana Parrilla is likeable enough, even if her character does lose her glasses about a third of the way into things and then never needs them again (a hilariously obvious war to show the transition from brainy to brainy beauty). Josh Green is okay, if a bit bland, and Oliver Macready and Nick Swarts both do well, it's just a shame that they didn't get more to do. Mark Phelan is good enough in his role and the spiders go about being very spidery.

There are people who never want to see these kinds of movies being made, ever. But if you're going to make a film like this then THIS is how to do it. With a sense of humour, a number of moments that meet audience expectations and no limits on where the craziness could end up.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spiders-DVD-Lana-Parrilla/dp/B003H9MXVK/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1350419460&sr=1-1