Ghosted (2023)

A mix of action and rom-com starring Chris Evans and Ana de Armas in the lead roles, Ghosted should have been an easy success. The familiar faces, the familiar plotting, and a succession of cameos make it an obvious choice for some straightforward entertainment. There's a reason that it's pretty much been forgotten already though. It's not good. It's hard to describe as truly awful, although I am sure some will, but it's certainly as bland as some vegetable that has had all of the flavour boiled out of it.

Evans plays Cole Turner, a young man who falls hard for Sadie Rhodes (De Armas). He thinks that it might be a good idea, after spending one day with her, to pay her a surprise visit in London. Things don't go according to plan though, with Cole soon abducted by people who believe him to be an infamous CIA agent known as "The Taxman". Can you guess who is actually that agent? Bickering, gunfights, and various hijinks soon ensue.

Written by the not-insubstantial-quartet of Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Chris McKenna, and Erik Sommers, Ghosted is what happens when you believe that your film has enough star power to ignore things like proper wit, pacing, and characters with some depth. There is nothing to this when you remove the stars. Nothing.

Director Dexter Fletcher is often a capable talent, but he is clearly hamstrung here by the demands of delivering such studio fluff. The action doesn’t have any weight or impact, there’s a surprising, and debilitating, lack of chemistry between the two leads, and nothing is done to make things more interesting around the superficial glossy smoothness of everything.

Evans and De Armas have rarely been worse. They can be charismatic, they can be convincing with action beats and physical work, and they can be fun, but you wouldn’t know that from watching this. Adrien Brody is a main villain, but feels like the wrong choice in every scene focusing on him. It’s either him just cashing a big cheque or not able to find his way into a performance that should just be a bit ridiculous and entertaining. Nobody else makes much of an impression, and the many cameos that crop up feel like a desperate and lazy attempt to please Marvel fans. They are smug and unfunny, like so many other parts of the movie.

I still won’t describe this as truly awful, there were one or two moments I enjoyed before completely losing any optimism about it improving, but it is bad. Very bad. It deserves to be as forgotten as it already is, and I am sure the main cast members are happy to see it fade from memory so quickly.

3/10

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Once Upon A Time . . . In Hollywood (2019)

If you take any one scene from Once Upon A Time . . . In Hollywood that features a look at the winding career paths of either Rick Dalton (former movie star, now a TV name, played by Leonardo DiCaprio) or Cliff Booth (main stunt double for Dalton, and good friend, played by Brad Pitt) then you have something pretty wonderful. Also take any scene with Sharon Tate (played by Margot Robbie) being happy and seemingly unspoilt by her near-stardom and you will be smiling, thanks mainly to the wonderful performance from Robbie.

But there's everything else here. Tarantino, for he's long been in the position where we don't have to use his full name, has crafted a fairytale, which the title clearly signifies, but he's done so in a way that loses focus, seems to often have its heart in the wrong place, and just stumbles into a grand finale that is, at best, uncharacteristically graphic and tonally jarring and, at worst, disappointingly disrespectful and distasteful.

The core of the film is based around the relationship between Dalton and Booth, as the former tries to keep working while not allowing his name to lose that star quality. Tate is shown being the kind of woman who lights up any room when she enters it, although those who know what happened to her cannot keep a tinge of sadness at bay, despite suspecting that the fairytale aspect may allow for more QT historical revisionism. And then you have the Manson Family, a shadow looming over the film once they make their first appearance.

Let me make something clear first of all. There are no bad performances here, and Pitt is doing his best work in years (this is arguably more his film than DiCaprio's, although the latter does brilliant with a range of acting, from his natural state off-camera to his cheesier style in some of his TV work). Robbie is phenomenal, if underserved, and there are also excellent turns from Timothy Olyphant, Margaret Qualley, Julia Butters, Bruce Dern, Kurt Russell, and Al Pacino, to name but a few. Even those who turn up just to do a small impression (Damian Lewis is Steve McQueen, Mike Moh is Bruce Lee) do great work.

All of the things that don't work here come from Tarantino, a man who has indulged and deluded himself for so long that I doubt he will see anything wrong in what he may consider the culmination of his career. The soundtrack is what you'd expect, the barrage of movie and TV references are on point (and the second-best thing about it, after the lead performances), the violence appears (but it feels different from other violence he has depicted, it feels . . . more unpleasant and out of place, considering the tone of the rest of the finale, as if he felt everyone would need things to be pushed further and further, like some kind of cathartic release), and you get so many shots of people with their bare feet up in the air/on furniture that it starts to feel like he's trolling us all.

Obviously intended as a love letter to this time, and a way of both celebrating and lamenting the effect that TV had on the careers of many in the movie industry, Tarantino throws everything in the mix without considering how much of it is necessary. Although this allows for more treats (the technical side of things is wonderful, when it comes to capturing the feel of the time, and the many shows shown are wonderful, as are some of the movie clips, both real and re-envisioned with Dalton in a main role), it also allows for the moments that feel most sour. Why have your character shown to be a badass in a number of different ways when you can just have him go toe to toe with Bruce Lee? Why give someone a dark backstory when you can just imply a very similar fate to that of Natalie Wood? Why treat well-known names with a little more respect when they can be bit-players in the lives of the two main characters?

There were so many other ways to do this, ways that didn't have to be signposted less than halfway through the 161-minute runtime (at least I think the moment in which Booth is asked to fix a TV aerial is before the halfway point). This should have been a pure celebration from start to finish, showing the bad with the good but ending on a great upswing. Instead . . . well, it feels completely misjudged, completely gratuitous (sometimes for the better, often for the worse), and completely half-assed, considering how much the viewer is expected to bring to the table in order to fill in the gaps and place characters that ultimately end up being so transformed and/or discarded by Tarantino that they didn't have to be based on ANY reality at all. But then he wouldn't be able to feel quite so self-indulgent, and we all know that QT loves to indulge himself. It's just that his best movies also indulge the audience at the same time. This one doesn't. In fact, I am tempted to say that it ends up being downright insulting at times, but then often manages to make up for it with some little moments of cinematic beauty.

Hugely frustrating, hugely problematic, and still absolutely essential viewing for those who want to see where they stand on another Tarantino film that, at the very least, is once again steeped in the history of the cinema he loves.

5/10

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Americans can buy it here.