Prime Time: Guns Akimbo (2019)

If you want to see a prime example of how to completely derail your new movie, career, and any feelings of goodwill that people may have for you then do check out the story of Jason Lei Howden, writer-director of Guns Akimbo. He has delivered a fun, frenetic, film here. I don’t think anyone is holding their breath for his next one though.

With that noted, let’s move to the actual content of the film itself. Daniel Radcliffe plays Miles, a young man who seems to be the definition of “a bit of a loser”. He spends his days working for a company that creates mobile phone games, has separated from his girlfriend, and spends a lot of his free time getting drunk and trolling people online, especially those who comment while watching Skizm, a videogame that takes real people and puts them against one another. His latest antics get him notices by Riktor (Ned Dennehy), the crazy boss of Skizm. That leads to Miles being caught, drugged, and waking up with a gun bolted to each hand. He has 50 bullets in each gun, no great shooting skills, and very low odds of surviving against the reigning champ, Nix (Samara Weaving).

Having previously given us the excellent Deathgasm, Howden has shown that he has a talent for comedy. While that film blended horror with the comedy, this is an action film that never strays too far away from absurdity. Even the first main sequence showing Miles trying to adapt to life with guns bolted to his hands provides some chuckles as the threat of accidentally shooting himself becomes immediately apparent while he tries to get dressed. The action is enjoyably over the top and some of the moments that highlight the difference between being a videogame player and being capable enough to handle any confrontation in the real world work really well.

Radcliffe is a lot of fun in the main role, absolutely useless for most of the runtime until he finds the courage to embrace his new form. Weaving is as good as she has been in most movies over the past few years, given a makeover here that makes her look even more badass and scarier than usual. Dennehy is good fun, Natasha Liu Bordizzo is just fine as the ex-girlfriend seeing a new side of Miles, and there’s a hilarious cameo from the brilliant Rhys Darby.

The big problem that Guns Akimbo has is the lack of proper focus. The action scenes are shot well, but they’re also deliberately stylised and unbelievable, putting them at odds with the level of development needed for Miles to stay alive. The comment on videogames and the ease with which we can find and pick fights online is potentially interesting, but dropped quite quickly (or, at least, buried by the rest of the plot and the gunfights). And the way the plot unfolds should be easy to predict if you have watched any action thriller made since the 1980s.

It’s definitely still worth your time though, very easy to watch and enjoy when you want something funny and violent that won’t cause you to overthink anything or delve into a period of introspection. The fact that it is a bit of a mess doesn’t matter as much as it rushes from one set-piece to the next, and everyone involved at least knows exactly what kind of film they’re participating in. 

7/10

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What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

A few years ago I saw, and enjoyed, a film called Vampires. It was a little vampire movie, done in the fake documentary style. I don't think many other people saw it. Which is why I may have been one of the few people hesitant when I started to hear the praise heaped upon What We Do In The Shadows - a vampire movie done in the fake documentary style. I needn't have worried. This is deserving of all the praise it has received so far.

Written and directed by stars Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, this is a film that mixes obvious jokes with more inventive moments, utilising some great FX work to not only create great gags, but also ensure that the horror element is also genuinely horrific at times.

Waititi is Viago, one of four vampires living in a house together. Viago is the guy who arranges the house meetings and worries about everyone keeping a normal home, despite their abnormal lifestyles. Clement is Vladislav, a once-legendary vampire who has lost his mojo in recent years. Jonathan Brugh is Deacon, the coolest of the bunch, and Ben Fransham is Petyr, an ancient nosferatu type. The four become five when a young man (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer) is turned and this newcomer changes the whole dynamic of the group, highlighting the need to adapt to life in the 21st century.

There are so many great moments here that it's hard to know where to begin. This is the kind of film that leaves you mentally picking out highlights as soon as the end credits roll: an encounter with some werewolves (NOT swear-wolves), an attempt to drain blood from someone without getting too much on the furniture, a shaming ceremony conducted when someone is ostracised from the group. These are just a few of the moments that will make you laugh.

It's also worth noting, however, that this is not for the squeamish. There are some impressive displays of bloodletting, and one or two moments that you could easily class as the stuff of nightmares. If you were faint-hearted enough.

The acting from everyone involved is perfectly suited to the material. All of the main vampires may be slightly over the top, but that isn't a problem. Waititi, Clement, Brugh, and even Fransham (as mute as his performance is) are all playing specific types of people/vampires. Gonzalez-Macuer is very much an interloper, a tourist not familiar with the ways of the locals. Stuart Rutherford is wonderful as a human who becomes a friend to the vampires, Jackie van Beek is also great as a familiar growing impatient as she anticipates being turned by Deacon, and Rhys Darby raises quite a few laughs as the alpha male lycanthrope trying to keep his pack members calm.

A real treat, thoroughly deserving of all the compliments that it's received in the past few months, What We Do In The Shadows has big laughs, a surprisingly big heart, and some big arterial spray mishaps.

9/10

Diagnosis: Death (2010)

After a very promising start, Diagnosis: Death soon becomes a stale affair that will disappoint fans of the talent involved. In fact, if you pick this up because you're a fan of Flight Of The Conchords then you may be in for a crushing disappointment. I've seen product listings that recommend this to fans of Flight Of The Conchords but general comments from fans tend to be in complete disagreement. And as for any praise that compares this to the early works of Peter Jackson . . . . . . . . . . no, just no. That comparison is, quite frankly, ludicrous. The early works of Peter Jackson are full of energy, great humour and lashings of gore. This movie has some laughs, few scares and a relatively lethargic pace.

The story starts with a man (Rabon Kan) being diagnosed with terminal cancer. This isn't the best news, as you can imagine. His one very slim chance is to get himself put on a drug trial. Once in the medical centre, he meets a young girl (Jessica Grace Smith) and the two of them soon bond over good conversation and strange experiences that may or may not be shared hallucinations. There would seem to be some busy spirits roaming the corridors and a dark past that wants to affect the present.

People who know my rating system and my penchant for small movies that simply strive to entertain will know, I hope, that I always try/tend to be generous. Bearing that in mind, my rating of 4/10 for this film may still be a little bit more than most people might give it.

There's just nothing here to enjoy after the first 10 minutes. Acting that doesn't exactly set the screen alight, no chemistry whatsoever between the characters, flat and uninspired direction making the whole thing look like a very amateur TV production at times and, worst of all for a horror comedy, a notable absence of horror and comedy, for the most part.

Raybon Kan is okay here and there but the movie is saved from being completely turgid by the presence of Jessica Grace Smith and Suze Tye, both presenting very different ways of gaining and holding your interest whenever they're onscreen (the former has a nice energy while the latter has a great air of potential villainy).

Director Jason Stutter, who also co-wrote the film with star Rabon Kan, can shoulder a lot of the blame but I can't help thinking that someone behind the scenes may deserve a bit of a dressing down, someone who came up with a flimsy concept and just convinced everyone that if they could get the folk from Flight Of The Conchords involved then they would have a cult hit, no matter how poor the final product was. I don't know who that someone is, it may end up being Sutter once more, but I hope that they are kept away from any decision making meetings for the next 20 years or so.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Diagnosis-Death-DVD-Bret-McKenzie/dp/B002ALU8V8