Tuesday 28 August 2012

Zombies Vs. Strippers (2012)

Missing the boat by a good few years (after previous movies like Zombies! Zombies! Zombies AKA Strippers Vs. Zombies, the really rather good Zombie Strippers! and the more recent Strippers Vs. Werewolves), Zombies Vs. Strippers only has two things going for it in the shape of the gorgeous Adriana Sephora.

The gorgeous Adriana Sephora plays nursemaid.

If you're wondering what the plot is then . . . . . . . . . . . . you clearly didn't read the title in the post heading. It's zombies vs. strippers, that's all there is to it. Some other people appear to add to the number of potential victims, the owner of the strip club is having money problems and some personalities clash with each other but most of the time things manage to circle back to focus on those zombies vs. strippers.

The woman in the middle is a stripper. She has been attacked by zombies. This was all explained clearly by the title of the movie, which is also the post heading above.

The script by Kent Roudebush, Nick Francomano and Alex Nicolaou isn't that good and it's not really made any better by Nicolaou's direction. Even at just under 70 minutes - the runtime is listed on IMDb as 75 minutes but that includes the credits, the main content of the movie itself is just under 70 minutes - the film still manages to outstay its welcome. There is some blood on show and some gratuitous nudity, which helps (especially when it shows off the gorgeous Adriana Sephora . . . . . . did I happen to mention that I found her quite attractive?), but nothing that makes up for the lack of proper fun and wit. There's even a lame Michael Jackson gag in there. Good grief, isn't there a sell-by date on those?

I included this picture to show how atmospheric the movie is, of course.

I never expected the acting to be any great shakes and, unsurprisingly, it isn't. Circus-Szalewski is okay as the stressed owner of the business, Tanner Horn is slightly irritating as a DJ stuck in his own drugged haze, Adam Brooks is okay as Spike, J. Scott is okay as Marvin the doorman and Brad Potts is the best of the lot as Red Wings, an ex-biker who has done a lot in life to make up for his past sins. Amongst the ladies we have Eve Mauro as Sugar Hills, Victoria Levine as Bambi and Brittany Gael Vaughn as Vanilla. And I may have already mentioned the gorgeous Adriana Sephora as Jasmine.

Room for one last pic of Adriana Sephora? I think so.

I know that this review may sound harsh but it's not meant that way, really. Any time that someone comes up with a movie premise that pits a group of attractive and scantily-clad women against dangerous foes I am very receptive to the idea and always want them to do well. They can't all be winners though, and this is a film that can't even drag itself up to an average rating. Despite the presence of, in case I didn't emphasise it enough already, the fine and lovely Adriana Sephora.



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