Shudder Saturday: Hellbenders (2012)

Hellbenders is yet another horror comedy that is neither scary nor funny enough to satisfy fans of either genre. That doesn't mean it's a complete waste of your time, especially if you want to watch Clancy Brown storming around and calling various people "c**ksucker", but it's nowhere near as good as it could have been.

The film stars Brown, Clifton Collins. Jr, Robyn Rikoon, Andre Royo, Macon Blair, and Dan Fogler as members of The Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound Saints. These are people who have to live in a near-constant state of sin, ensuring that they always have major strikes against them for the day when they battle demons and may have to, as a last resort, commit suicide and personally drag them down to hell. Part Constantine, part The Day Of The Beast, it's the other part, the juvenile comedy element, that disappoints.

Written and directed by J. T. Petty, adapting his own graphic novel, Hellbenders could have been improved in a number of ways. The pacing and actual framing of the main story don't work as well as they should, and when it splices in talking heads moments that show how this could have easily been turned into a mockumentary then you realise how much better that approach to the material would have been. While the main characters are okay, they would come across a lot better if spending more time battling dangerous enemies, showing how they are actually heroes who have to live their lives steeped in sin, rather than just assholes who occasionally step up to the plate (although, admittedly, they can be viewed as both, which is the point, but it's harder to enjoy a film that seems to focus on the latter without reminding you of the former).

Everyone does alright with what they're given, with the standouts being Brown and Royo (mainly because I kept wondering where the hell I recognised him from and then eventually realised it was "Bubbles" from The Wire). Blair and Fogler are given a number of gags that aren't that amusing, but they're pushed to the back slightly as the plot starts to focus in on the character played by Rikoon. Stephene Gevedon is an authority figure who pops along to see what is going on, and is subsequently appalled by what he finds, and Larry Fessenden turns up for a decent cameo role.

Priests being badass and sinful is a good idea for a film that involves a war against dark forces. I hope it's reworked one day into something better. Hellbenders is average when it should at least have been good, if not great. And that may be the biggest sin it commits.

5/10

You can buy Hellbenders here.
Americans can get it here.