Sunday 17 April 2022

Netflix And Chill: Choose Or Die (2022)

It feels obvious that this is the first feature from director Toby Meakins, who also helped to co-write the screenplay, but the fact that others involved (mainly co-writers Simon Allen and Matthew James Wilkinson) couldn't do enough to make up for the director's inexperience makes me think that everyone was somehow thinking they were creating something fun and entertaining. There are some decent moments here, especially a final "big boss" battle that has a very enjoyable twist, but far too much of this feels like it is coming along at least twenty years later than it should. I know that is part of the main concept, being based on people finding a survival horror computer game from the 1980s, but it feels more laughably outdated than cool retro.

Iola Evans plays Kayla, a woman who is having a tough time of things. She is working as a cleaner while trying to complete her studies, and she's also struggling to keep her drug addict mother safe and healthy. She does have a good friend, however, in the shape of Isaac (Asa Butterfield). Isaac helps her in her studies while working on coding his own game. One day, while nosing around the many bits and pieces accumulated in Isaac's apartment, Kayla finds an old computer game called CURS>R.  It offers a large cash prize reward to people who call a special number and then start playing the game. Kayla decides to compete for the prize, but soon realises that the game can affect the reality around her, and when she is forced to make a choice it is usually going to result in someone dying.

Bookended by a few great scenes that involve Eddie Marsan, as someone who also played the game, Choose Or Die makes the crucial mistake of filling out the majority of the film with moments that don't have enough random characters to become potential victims. The very first time that Kayla realises the danger of the game, forcing a waitress to smash a load of glasses and then clean up the mess with an unusual, and fatal, method. This should have been an ongoing aspect of the film. Yes, put the main characters in peril, but keep a decent selection of others around who can be despatched in mean-spirited ways.

Another mistake is the format of the game. A text-based adventure doesn't just seem cool and retro, it feels practically archaic nowadays. This could have easily been even a basic 3-D adventure, incorporating enough elements from Kayla's surroundings to show her how much the lines between the gaming world and the real world were being blurred.

Finally, but arguably most importantly, there aren't any characters, outwith Kayla, that viewers can really care for. Isaac is really just there to explain things, and try to help at a crucial point, and Kayla's mother spends most of her time in bed, and in pain. The best character isn't even shown onscreen, it's the voice on the recorded telephone message (a fun cameo by Robert Englund playing . . . Robert Englund).

Evans does a decent job in her role, and is certainly the best of the main bunch, and Marsan is as good as ever, particularly enjoyable as a character who will do anything to maintain some status quo, but Butterfield, although not bad, will probably not want to keep this one near the top of his CV. Angela Griffin deserves a better role than this one, she's that pained mother lying in bed, Ryan Gage is an over the top Mr. Nasty, and Joe Bolland has a decent scene, playing the creator of the game.

Falling right in between where it should have landed, Choose Or Die is neither continually nasty enough to make it worth your time nor enjoyably silly in a way that plays up the retro-gaming aspect of the premise. There's nothing here that feels worthy of praise, nothing here that really feels worth your time. I hope Meakins picks a better project for his next directorial outing, and everyone who worked on this script needs to get used to taking a step back, maybe putting their work away for a while, and then getting back to it some time later with a better sense of what they should really be aiming for.

3/10

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