Netflix And Chill: The Merry Gentlemen (2024)

Nothing says Christmas quite like a struggling small-town bar that ends up using some amateur male strippers to help turn fortunes around. Yes, that is the main premise of The Merry Gentlemen, the latest cheesy Christmas movie that I decided to watch this year. And scoff as you may, it wasn't too bad.

Britt Robertson plays Ashley, a young dancer who has had her career ended prematurely by the fact that she's now not quite as young as the limelight-stealing newcomers. So she finally heads back home to visit her parents (played by Michael Gross and Beth Broderick) and soon learns that their little bar, once a thriving hub of music and activity, has been in a slump for a while. A lot of money is owed, and the future isn't looking bright. Thankfully, a hunky local handyman (Luke, played by Chad Michael Murray), Ashley's fit brother-in-law (Rodger, played by Marc Anthony Samuel), a handsome bartender (Troy, played by Colt Prattes), and a dancing cabbie (Ricky, played by Hector David Jr.) are all roped in to Ashley's money-making idea: a choreographed show that features the men doing some very tame teasing. It's obvious that not everything will run smoothly though, and there may still be a chance for Ashley to be lured back to her full-time job in the big city.

As is so often the case, director Peter Sullivan has a large number of TV movies similar to this in his filmography, many of them co-created with Jeffrey Schenck (who is given a story credit here). He has also worked before with Marla Sokoloff, who wrote the screenplay for this and stars onscreen as Ashley's sister, Marie. Despite the opportunity for some extra raunch, everyone involved ensures that this remains cosy Christmas viewing, albeit with a few more abs on display than usual. They know the required story beats, and they hit every one.

Robertson is a decent lead, although I was a bit taken aback to see her in this (considering how much I have enjoyed her in some bigger movies, even if they, admittedly, didn't seem to perform as well as expected). She's appealing enough, and she can also do the occasional bit of clumsiness needed to keep her jostling up against our leading man. Murray is fine, delivering his now-softened-and-bland charm with a side-order of muscular torso, and Samuel, Prattes, and David Jr. all seem to be having fun. Gross is always a welcome sight, and Broderick pairs nicely with him, and it's great to see a small, but worthwhile, role for the charming Maxwell Caulfield (known to most people as either Rex Manning or the Cool Rider).

If you see the trailer for this and like the tone of it then you'll enjoy the film. It does what you expect. There are times when you can still sense the lower budget and rough edges (especially during "crowd" scenes that never feel too crowded), and you have to go with the flow of everything, rather than thinking about how ridiculous it is, but that's easier to do with a Christmas movie than it is with other types of movies. Good fun, and you can always follow it up with some proper raunchiness from the Magic Mike troupe.

6/10

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Books Of Blood (2020)

As much as I love the original source material, a collected volume of short stories written by Clive Barker, trying to adapt any of The Books Of Blood into movie form always feels a bit like a fool’s errand. There are so many great stories there, every page is an example of a writer delivering some of his absolute best work, but it is material that doesn’t tend to translate well into movie form. Someone should really give us all the horror anthology show that we deserve, but I suspect that will never happen.

Let’s get to this movie then, another in a line of movies that have unsuccessfully tried to make something worthwhile from the rich source material (others include Quicksilver Highway, Dread, and, well, Book Of Blood, a 2009 film that covers some of the material also covered here). There are three main stories here, focusing on four main characters. Britt Robertson is Jenna, a very depressed and troubled young woman who ends up leaving home and staying at a house that may have some very dark secrets behind the walls. Bennett (Yul Vazquez) is a man contracted to track down a valuable book, but it’s also something very powerful and dangerous. And, last but not least, Mary (Anna Friel) is a debunker of psychic phenomena who thinks she has finally found someone (Simon, played by Rafi Gavron) who can communicate with the dead.

The first feature film directed by Brannon Braga, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Adam Simon (the two having worked together for many years), there is definitely a feeling here of people trying to do more than just coast along on something with brand recognition (it might be niche brand recognition, but it’s still something a number of horror fans will take notice of). Constructed in a way that allows the tales to intersect at various points, culminating in a final act that brings everything together in a fitting and effective way, the biggest problem the film has is the time it takes to start gathering any momentum. It’s very satisfying to see things cleared up in a dark and twisting third act, but the earlier scenes feel horribly inert and disconnected until the full shape of the narrative starts to become clear, like a lump of clay being sculpted.

Robertson, Vazquez, Friel, and Gavron all do well enough in their roles, but they are characters who are due to have horrors unfold around them, like so many characters written by Barker. Friel plays the one person who ends up having most control, and her main storyline is the best of them, but the rest are very much autumn leaves blown around in some chill winds. I do also have to mention Freda Foh Shen and Nicholas Campbell. Both are used well, playing the owners of the house that ends up playing such a vital role in the fate of Robertson’s character.

Arguably better than most of the other attempts to get any of these tales from page to screen, Books Of Blood still falls short of being as good as it could, or should, be. I think one extra tale intertwining with the others would have been enough to elevate this, but I couldn’t tell you which one would have made the best addition. What you have here is polished, occasionally visually interesting, and decent enough for something to schedule when you want some spookiness. It’s just also quite forgettable, sadly, despite a bittersweet ending that stands out as one of the best horror movie endings of the last few years.

6/10

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