Netflix And Chill: The Old Guard (2020)

Based on a graphic novel series written by Greg Rucka (and illustrated by Leandro Fernandez), who adapted his own work into screenplay form, The Old Guard is a fantastical action movie that is helped immensely by the casting of the ever-reliable, and believable, Charlize Theron in the lead role.

Theron plays Andy, one of four immortal warriors who spend their time trying to help the human race. The other members of her group are Booker (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe (Marwan Kenzari), and Nicky (Luca Marinelli). There have been one or two others fighting alongside them at times, but at a certain time, undefined and unpredictable, the gift of immortality can simply disappear, leading to the opportunity for a standard death. I describe that as an opportunity because it is a better option than their biggest fear, being trapped and imprisoned. Andy and her group have to move fast when they realise that someone else, a soldier named Nile (KiKi Layne), has just discovered their own immortality. Nile needs to be educated about her new role, and the group need to avoid the stretching grasp of a big pharma company that is wanting to make use of them for experiments in modern medicine. The pharma company is headed up by Merrick (Harry Melling), but his dirty work is done by a squad under the command of Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor).

Directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood (note to self, I am still very keen to see The Woman King), what you get here is a well-paced and fun film that also puts a slightly different spin on the standard trope of the melancholy vampire while also exploring how fluid the concepts of morality and courage are when it comes to fighting for the good of humanity. While the early scenes may have you questioning just how brave our main characters are (yes, this particular concept had me thinking of a certain confrontation between Batman and Superman that crystallised this concept), the third act shows how the potential threat of mortality doesn't have our cast wavering for a moment, which underlines how much the villains misunderstand the guft bestowed upon our heroes.

Everyone gets a handful of good moments, with Kenzari and Marinelli a real delight as the warriors who have found long-life-partners in one another, but it's unsurprising to find that the focus keeps moving back to Theron, Layne, and Schoernaerts (considering they are arguably the two biggest names in the cast, and Layne's character allows her to receive exposition helpful for viewers), and all three have great onscreen presence. The same can be said of Ejiofor, who gets a nice little character arc here as he starts to debate whether or not he is doing the right thing, which makes up for the blandness of Melling and those playing his heavies (Joey Ansah being the main disappointment, providing no real sense of menace or capability in the face of The Old Guard).

I was advised to give this a chance by a friend (Christianne, her excellent/superior blog is here) after bashing the last movie I watched with Greg Rucka's name attached to it (the dire Heart Of Stone), and I'm glad I was prompted to give it a go. It's a film that feels fresh and fun, despite taking on some serious themes and working with characters we've basically seen as archetypes in many other movies, and it's clear that those behind the scenes knew how to make the most of the concept. It's technically sound throughout, and the stunt work is often excellent, and I happily recommend it to anyone else who kept dismissing it as readily as I did.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: Heart Of Stone (2023)

I am often accused of being too kind in my movie ratings and reviews, and that is absolutely fine with me. I go into EVERY movie with optimism, and I always remember that the final result in front of my eyes is the result of people working together to get a clear vision onscreen. Sometimes it is only a handful of people, sweating and struggling to pool resources, and sometimes it's a huge number of people who can get their hands on whatever they need for their glossy blockbuster. Heart Of Stone falls into the latter camp, and it's one of those films that allows me to be unkind. Because it is, undoubtedly, one of the most soulless and unexciting pieces of garbage that I've seen in a long time. 

Gal Gadot stars as Rachel Stone, a woman working as part of a MI6 team. She's a technician, supposed to be able to stay safe and observant while others do the action stuff, but they don't realise that Stone is actually working for a global peacekeeping agency known as The Charter. The Charter has the advantage of being able to feed agents information from a powerful AI device they call The Heart (see? see where the title comes from?), a super-computer that can hack into any digital device and offer fluctuating predictions on the potential success of every possibility for a field agent on a mission. Someone wants to get to The Heart though, and that could allow them to become a very powerful super-villain. There's treachery, changes of alliance, and horribly inept set-pieces all thrown together on the way to a finale that feels as smug as it does predictable.

It has become all too easy lately for people to dismiss a film by saying "it feels as if it was written by A.I.", but that certainly feels like it was a factor here. A Netflix film, and we know that they often design their movies around certain patterns and factor they have seen in their viewing data, the humans actually responsible for this screenplay are Greg Rucka and Allison Schroeder. While I wasn't surprised to see that Rucka was used to the Netflix style, having also had a hand in The Old Guard (a film I have yet to muster the enthusiasm to watch), I was very surprised to see Schroeder attached to this, considering her work in recent years on both Hidden Figures and Christopher Robin, as well as being an extra helping hand on the screenplay for Frozen 2. It's equally surprising to see Tom Harper sitting in the director's chair for this. I can only imagine that he either wanted a different kind of challenge, wanted a big payday, or both, considering his past couple of movies were the very different, and apparently much better, The Aeronauts and Wild Rose. What isn't surprising is that neither the writers nor director put any kind of personal stamp on this. Heart Of Stone is a star vehicle. It just doesn't have a good enough star in the lead role.

I like Gal Gadot. I do. She's pretty great in the role of Wonder Woman, even if the films are very often not the best vehicles for the character, and I have enjoyed her in most of her other movie roles. Superhero movies aside though, she's never really been given a lead role, and Heart Of Stone clearly shows why this is the case. She doesn't shine as she should, unable to give the role the mix of humour and charisma needed. It doesn't help that she's surrounded by a cast of equally dull performers, whether that's caused by their own acting or the script is something I'm still debating internally. Jamie Dornan and Alia Bhatt are the wost offenders, but even someone as good as Sophie Okonedo seems to be delivering her lines as if she'd rather be doing anything else instead. Both Jing Kusi and Paul Ready are a bit more enjoyable, and I was most disappointed when their limited screentime came to an end. The other cast member worth mentioning is Matthias Schwieghöfer, who proves himself a highlight once again, having won people over with his turn in Army Of The Dead, leading to his lead role in the spin-off, Army Of Thieves. He works well in his role here, despite having to deliver exposition while portraying "intel guy monitoring and moving around computer data depicted as an augmented reality display surrounding him".

There was one action set-piece I quite enjoyed here, a chase involving cars, bikes, and a chunky van, but I even watched that while wondering whether or not I preferred a similar sequence in the recent action comedy Murder Mystery 2. As for the rest of the film, it moves from one bit of over-edited greenscreen nonsense to the next, keeping you stuck alongside a lead character you don't care about as things wind towards a tiresome conclusion that lets the film end EXACTLY how you think it is going to end. This is the kind of hollow and artless work that ends up on Netflix because it isn't good enough to end up anywhere else. It certainly isn't good enough to end up on your viewing schedule. Treat yourself to something better. It won't be hard.

And, yes, I know many will still think my final rating here is too kind.

3/10

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