Netflix And Chill: Apex (2026)

The last film that I saw from director Baltasar Kormákur was the disappointing effort that had Idris Elba fighting against an angry lion. If I had remembered that he was responsible for that then I may have been a bit less excited to see Apex, but I was excited by a trailer that showed me Taron Egerton working with an Australian accent and telling Charlize Theron that he was about to hunt her. Thankfully, while nothing spectacular, Apex just about does enough with the main premise to make it an enjoyable and satisfying thriller. It's very predictable, almost everything in the first main sequence is used to set up moments later in the movie, it skirts around the darker elements, and most of it really stretches the limits of credulity, but it's tense and fun throughout.

Theron plays Sasha, an adventurous woman who ends up in a particularly perilous part of Australia. After trying to ignore some local hunters (who claim that they're just being nice, of course), Sasha meets the pleasant and friendly Ben (Egerton). And then Ben turns a bit less friendly.

The first feature screenplay from Jeremy Robbins, this is a solid slice of entertainment that benefits from decent stunts, good special effects, and a willingness to skirt much closer to some surprisingly dark content than I expected. It also helps that Theron and Egerton are the focus for 90% of the runtime. 

Director Baltasar Kormákur has a filmography that shows him trying to deliver a popular hit every 4 or 5 years, and this is the right time for his latest attempt to appeal to a large mainstream audience. The 95-minute runtime allows for it to be paced well, and you get a classic opening sequence that sets up a main character and one or two challenges you know will be revisited before the end of the movie, and the central premise is handled with just the right mix of danger and excitement. I was enjoyably dizzy during some of the more vertiginous sequences, and that sensation was helped by the thought of both leads being capable of at least trying some of the daring climbing and swimming on display.

Theron can do this kind of thing easily, and she does. She's tough and capable throughout, but also carries a core of pain and insecurity stemming from that tense opener. There may be one or two times that you want to shout at the screen while her character misses some opportunity to stay ahead of the game, but she's generally working with patience and intelligence to give herself the best chance of survival. Egerton has a blast, and doesn't do too bad with the Australian accent either. Whether being nice and pleasant in his earlier scenes, dancing to his tunes while he gives Theron's character a head start, or spitting out dialogue that enforces the idea of him being far removed from sanity, he's a great movie villain.

There could have been a few things added here (maybe some animal encounters, a bigger selection of potential victims, etc), but I generally appreciate what we got. It's an enjoyable thriller that sets everything up, allows it all to play out as you generally expect, and then cuts to the end credits before overstaying its welcome. 

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Old Guard (2020)

Based on a graphic novel series written by Greg Rucka (and illustrated by Leandro Fernandez), who adapted his own work into screenplay form, The Old Guard is a fantastical action movie that is helped immensely by the casting of the ever-reliable, and believable, Charlize Theron in the lead role.

Theron plays Andy, one of four immortal warriors who spend their time trying to help the human race. The other members of her group are Booker (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe (Marwan Kenzari), and Nicky (Luca Marinelli). There have been one or two others fighting alongside them at times, but at a certain time, undefined and unpredictable, the gift of immortality can simply disappear, leading to the opportunity for a standard death. I describe that as an opportunity because it is a better option than their biggest fear, being trapped and imprisoned. Andy and her group have to move fast when they realise that someone else, a soldier named Nile (KiKi Layne), has just discovered their own immortality. Nile needs to be educated about her new role, and the group need to avoid the stretching grasp of a big pharma company that is wanting to make use of them for experiments in modern medicine. The pharma company is headed up by Merrick (Harry Melling), but his dirty work is done by a squad under the command of Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor).

Directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood (note to self, I am still very keen to see The Woman King), what you get here is a well-paced and fun film that also puts a slightly different spin on the standard trope of the melancholy vampire while also exploring how fluid the concepts of morality and courage are when it comes to fighting for the good of humanity. While the early scenes may have you questioning just how brave our main characters are (yes, this particular concept had me thinking of a certain confrontation between Batman and Superman that crystallised this concept), the third act shows how the potential threat of mortality doesn't have our cast wavering for a moment, which underlines how much the villains misunderstand the guft bestowed upon our heroes.

Everyone gets a handful of good moments, with Kenzari and Marinelli a real delight as the warriors who have found long-life-partners in one another, but it's unsurprising to find that the focus keeps moving back to Theron, Layne, and Schoernaerts (considering they are arguably the two biggest names in the cast, and Layne's character allows her to receive exposition helpful for viewers), and all three have great onscreen presence. The same can be said of Ejiofor, who gets a nice little character arc here as he starts to debate whether or not he is doing the right thing, which makes up for the blandness of Melling and those playing his heavies (Joey Ansah being the main disappointment, providing no real sense of menace or capability in the face of The Old Guard).

I was advised to give this a chance by a friend (Christianne, her excellent/superior blog is here) after bashing the last movie I watched with Greg Rucka's name attached to it (the dire Heart Of Stone), and I'm glad I was prompted to give it a go. It's a film that feels fresh and fun, despite taking on some serious themes and working with characters we've basically seen as archetypes in many other movies, and it's clear that those behind the scenes knew how to make the most of the concept. It's technically sound throughout, and the stunt work is often excellent, and I happily recommend it to anyone else who kept dismissing it as readily as I did.

7/10

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Prime Time: The Addams Family 2 (2021)

As much as everyone seemed ready to dismiss, and even hate, the recent animated The Addams Family movie, I was still happy to give it my time. I enjoy macabre humour, even (especially?) in animated form. I was happy enough with the voice cast. And I am a fan of the main characters. It ended up being absolutely fine, but not something I would revisit ahead of some of the live-action adventures. I had forgotten that a sequel was made though, leading to a pleasant surprise when I saw that it was already available online.

The plot is enjoyably simple, and enjoyably all about the bond of family in a way that both embraces and pushes aside the traditional “blood is thicker than water” idea. Having done her usual great work at a science show, “improving” Uncle Fester (Nick Kroll) with some serum created from an octopus, Wednesday Addams (Chloe Grace Moretz) gets herself noticed by the successful scientist named Cyrus Strange (Bill Hader). Not only has he noticed her, he claims that she is actually HIS daughter, having been switched around in the hospital. Gomez (Oscar Isaac) and Morticia (Charlize Theron) strongly deny this, of course, but things don’t look good, and even an impromptu family holiday may not help out things right.

Unsurprisingly not quite as good as the first movie, this is a sequel that hits a lot of expected points. They have to create a crisis for the central characters, removing them from the comfort of their home environment helps, and it all feels a bit more contrived, and a bit less necessary than the previous film, which was hardly all that necessary anyway.

What is a surprise is the fact that it took about four directors and four writers to get this crafted into a feature. That is eight people in total. EIGHT. To deliver something that, while far from offensively bad, is a very obvious and safe bit of work.

It’s a good job that the voice cast are still a big plus, with Theron and Isaac both arguably as good in the lead roles as anyone could be. Helped by the obvious, but enjoyable, lines of dialogue that allow them to deride the normal world around them while loving one another, and their family, with an amusingly unrestrained approach, both feel completely in line with how we have known the characters over the years. Moretz also does very well in the role of Wednesday, dour and dangerous, especially to her brother, Pugsley (voiced this time by Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton, and no, I also have no idea why he decided to insert an incomplete Spice Girls song title into his name). Nick Kroll is amusing enough as Uncle Fester, Bette Midler is wonderful in her cameo role (playing Granny), and director Conrad Vernon has fun portraying Lurch. Hader is always welcome in any movie, and is especially fun when it comes to voice work, so his character is another plus, and it helps that one of his assistants is voiced by the instantly recognisable Wallace Shawn.

The animation is fine, there’s at least one ridiculous use of a familiar pop song, and Wednesday Addams is pushed into a teen beauty pageant at one point, for reasons vital to the plot (of course). This is a step down from the previous film, but it’s still not bad, although it is worth noting that any entertainment that mixes kid-friendly material with some dark humour is usually okay by me.

6/10

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Bombshell (2019)

A film about the eventual, and long overdue, downfall of Roger Ailes, the man at the very top of the ladder at the Fox News HQ for many years, Bombshell plays out with some very interesting points that don’t just target the abuser at the heart of the story. It is also about toxic work environments and the repercussions of not taking a stand sooner, although that is a lot easier said than done (for many reasons).

Nicole Kidman is Gretchen Carlson, a presenter at Fox News who knows her days are numbered. She is too old now, apparently, and has taken a stance on certain subjects that has angered Ailes (John Lithgow). Once she is fired, Carlson decided to sue Ailes, bringing up his problematic (to put it mildly) behaviour with the female staff. Many employees rally round Ailes, showing a unified front, but there’s a notable silence from one of the top channel stars, Megyn Kelly (Charlize Theron). While all this is going on, Kayla Pospisil (Margot Robbie) has just started her employment with the company, and soon finds out exactly how she is supposed to act around certain people. 

Written by Charles Randolph, who was also a co-writer on The Big Short screenplay, the first thing you may notice about Bombshell is . . . how similar it is to The Big Short. The character played by Theron introduces viewers to the situation, and the world shown, by breaking the fourth wall, and there are some tangents that rapidly and clearly explain how the company structure works, and what the main policies were.

Director Jay Roach makes life easy for himself by casting well, all treated perfectly by the hair and makeup people, and doing well by the script. Everything moves along well enough, but certain lines of dialogue and individual moments are given the time and space needed to really sink in.

Theron, Kidman, and Robbie are all excellent, playing women at very different levels within the very sexist structure of Fox News, as dictated by Ailes, whether their position is to do with age, experience, savvy, or all of those things. Lithgow is excellent in his role, bullish and arrogant, and very often completely repugnant, even before the level of his abuse of his position is made apparent. The supporting cast includes some great performers, such as Allison Janney, Kate McKinnon, Connie Britton, Liv Hewson, Rob Delaney, and Mark Duplass. Not everyone works though. Richard Kind, for example, doesn’t feel close enough to Rudy Giuliani (although my view has maybe been tainted by seeing how far I think Giuliani has fallen in recent years). Generally, however, the cast feel like a good fit.

The people to blame for abuse are abusers, and Bombshell doesn’t lose sight of that fact. But it also shows the importance of speaking up against those who are abusing power, despite the potential consequences. Because someone has to lead the way, someone has to try their hardest, if only to help warn others, and Bombshell is as much about the need to act and speak out, even if things thankfully didn’t go as far as you worried they would, as it is about Ailes and the power that had him thinking he could act however he wanted. 

7/10

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The Astronaut's Wife (1999)

Part Quatermass movie, part Rosemary's Baby, The Astronaut's Wife could easily be titled Rosemary's Space Baby and nobody would complain.

Charlize Theron plays Jillian Armacost, the wife of an astronaut named Spencer (Johnny Depp). While up in space on a mission, contact was lost with Spencer and his flight partner, Alex (Nick Cassavetes). All seems fine when they get back to Earth, although Spencer and Alex are put through a number of tests. Sherman Reese (Joe Morton) thinks differently, however, and ends up trying to warn people who don't want to hear his "paranoia".

The only feature both written and directed by Rand Ravich, and it soon becomes clear why that is, The Astronaut's Wife is a plodding melodrama with no tension, no originality, and one or two scenes that use some ill-advised CGI to create some kind of set-piece highlight.

It also wastes what could have been a great cast. Theron has to watch her husband while looking tense and worried, obviously. Depp isn't in his self-parody stage yet, but it's not a great central turn from him (I think  he's always struggled to play anyone who seems . . . "normal"). Cassavetes makes no impression, while Donna Murphy, playing his wife, is disappointingly underused. Morton is good, as is Clea DuVall (playing the sister of Theron's character), and there are decent little supporting turns from Blair Brown, Tom Noonan, and Samantha Eggar, but Ravich clearly does nothing to help any of them.

At no point does Ravich do enough to make his movie more than a full waiting game between points A to B, to C and beyond, which is a real shame. Not only that, he refuses to then take the other approach that could have been more entertaining, a simple lean in to the potential horror and craziness of the concept. So you get a restrained horror that wants to be a mystery, but has no sense of mystery. The score by George S. Clinton is underwhelming, and there's not even any aspect of the film that is accidentally impressive (from the production design to the cinematography, it's all just . . . there).

Probably forgotten by everyone involved as soon as get settled into the 21st century, The Astronaut’s Wife is best also forgotten by anyone who might think about watching it. It is a big waste of time. Maybe not as terrible as some glossy movies, it’s still criminally dull for almost the entirety of the runtime. 

3/10

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Æon Flux (2005)

There's a small part of me that is glad that Æon Flux isn't all that good, because otherwise I would have to spend a lot more time on the internet shouting (metaphorically) at people who have yet to recognise the greatness of Karyn Kusama. She's the director here, and this is the only movie I have seen from her that I haven't liked. And even with it being such a messy failure, I cannot bring myself to truly hate it.

Charlize Theron is the lead, playing the titular character. It's the future. People tend to generally be happy. But there's something amiss, which is why a group of rebels are trying to overthrow the government. Flux is an assassin in that group of rebels, and she may be the one person with the key to unlock everything. Obviously.

Only the second feature film from Kusama, working with writers Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (who would both do much better work collaborating on her later movies), Æon Flux feels very much like what it is, a strange vision from a talented artist who then had that vision meddled with by people who had no idea what to really do with it. The main plot is simple enough to allow Kusama to take pleasure in the small details of the world depicted onscreen, but all of that potential pleasure is ruined by the absolute mess elsewhere. It's hard to care about any of the main characters, most of the action scenes are edited clumsily, at best, and none of the quirky humour can land while viewers are distracted by, well, everything else.

Theron is as good here, overall, as she usually is. I mean she's definitely a movie star, and this is a star vehicle, but it's hard to judge her performance while also considering what she's given to work with, and how everything was then edited. Marton Csokas and Jonny Lee Miller are key figures in the government, and Miller at least gets to have some more fun than the majority of the cast. Sophie Okonedo has to stay pretty straight-faced while portraying another rebel who has had hands grafted on to where her feet used to be, and both Frances McDormand and Pete Postlethwaite are given roles that very much waste their talents. Nobody else is worth mentioning, apart from Paterson Joseph, but that's only because I like Paterson Joseph so much.

Having not seen any of the original animated series that first introduced viewers to this character, I cannot say how this compares to that (although I am going to assume that it wouldn't be a favourable comparison). All I can go on is the final result, what we got on our screens. If it wasn't for Theron, it's hard to see how this would appeal to anyone. Look a bit harder, however, and there are fleeting moments that can help to make this more bearable. And it's definitely a film I would love to see in a director's cut form.
4/10

There's a disc available here.
Americans can buy it here.

The Addams Family (2019)

I think it's safe to say that when most people heard about an animated movie version of The Addams Family, it didn't seem to be the best idea. Having now seen the film, it was actually a smart way to refresh the property and present it to a new audience. Can you imagine a new live-action version? Who would try to replace the incomparable Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston? This side-steps that problem, but also assembles a bloody great voice cast to take on the iconic roles.

The plot is nice and simple. We start with Morticia (Charlize Theron) and Gomez (Oscar Isaac) about to get married. Angry locals barge into the ceremony, and the Addams family end up in the old gothic home that we know. Life seems good, even as Wednesday (Chloë Grace Moretz) and Pugsley (Finn Wolfhard) spend most of their time trying to harm one another. But things are happening downhill from their home, where Margaux Needler (Allison Janney), a famous TV home makeover personality is creating a whole idyllic little suburb. She wants it to be perfect, and wants to make a profit from selling all of the homes, so when the Addams home comes into view . . . something has to be done about it.

This is a very pleasant surprise from start to finish. The screenplay, by Matt Lieberman (with a number of people involved in shaping the story), is full of fun little gags most people would expect from any Addams Family tale. There are the usual macabre details, the sibling rivalry, a big family event coming up, and even a fun story strand that sees Wednesday becoming slightly corrupted by the influence of a young girl she befriends (when I say corrupted I mean there's at least one worrying moment when Wednesday looks to add a bit of colour to her usual look).

The direction from Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon all seems fine (even if it is a mile away from their last feature, Sausage Party, although both men have a good selection of child-friendly work in their filmography) as they take simple plot beats and allow the characters to lift the material. You also get a couple of musical moments, including the familiar theme near the start of the movie, and some enjoyably over the top fight choreography (mainly between Gomez and Pudsley, as the former prepares the latter for a rite of passage ceremony that will take place in front of the whole family.

Theron and Isaac are great in the lead roles, and I think both COULD possibly work as live-action versions of these characters, and Moretz, Wolfhard, and Kroll are very enjoyable as the two kids and Uncle Fester, respectively. Janney is as fun as she usually is, and her voice also perfectly suits her character, while everyone else does decent work. It's also worth noting that, despite not really being as recognisable as usual, it's fun to have Snoop Dogg voicing Cousin It.

I hoped that this wouldn't prove to be too painful. Instead, I ended up quite enjoying it. It still sits behind the Sonnenfeld movies and the TV show, but it's a nicely detailed bit of fun that balances everything between the fun for kids and the recognisable elements that fans of the characters will appreciate.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

Long Shot (2019)

Director Jonathan Levine has worked with Seth Rogen on a couple of other movies (both 50/50 and The Night Before), and the two seem to work well together. So it's no surprise that adding the wonderful Charlize Theron to the mix, and working from a script by Dan Sterling and Liz Hannah that effectively flips The American President around, and adds some obligatory drug gags, makes for a film that, while no classic, is at least amusing and enjoyable throughout.

Rogen plays Fred Flarsky, a journalist with principles, doing his best to stand by his work in a world that is making it harder and harder for individuals to maintain their integrity. In fact, he walks out of his job when the company he works for is taken over by a manipulative media mogul named Parker Wembley (an unrecognisable Andy Serkis). This leads to him being at a party with a friend (Lance, played by O'Shea Jackson Jr) and reuniting with Charlotte (Theron), a woman he last saw when he was a teen, and someone he was in love with even before she turned into her final Theron form. Charlotte is about to throw her hat in the ring as a presidential candidate, and she figures that Fred may actually help her with his writing ability. But more develops between them.

Here's the thing about Long Shot. Much like most other Seth Rogen movies, this will be more or less enjoyable depending on how you can handle Rogen. I tend to enjoy him onscreen but there's no denying that he's very often the same "lovable stoner" character in almost all of his films. You get the occasional statement about drugs helping people be relaxed and happier, you get him laughing his recognisable laugh, and you get him being wide-eyed and incredulous as events unfold around him that leave viewers in the same way. There's more to enjoy here, but it will still depend on whether or not you can put up with Rogen in the lead role.

Although the heart of the film is a romantic comedy, Sterling and Hannah do a good job of mixing in a strong strand about the slippery slope of compromising your beliefs, and the realities of getting results while you're trying to build support for something that may seem fresh and radical to some. The film isn't exactly bogged down by the politics, really just trying to milk the whole scenario for more laughs, but it does enough throughout to ground the laughs, certainly never feeling as ridiculous or unbelievable as it could.

A lot of that is also down to Theron. I don't know about you, but I would vote for her. She's smart, witty, passionate about her chosen main cause, and also Charlize Theron. Rogen being paired up with her seems very unlikely, but it works better than it should because of him finding it as hard to believe as everyone watching the film. Bob Odenkirk is a lot of fun as the current POTUS, who landed his position after years of TV work and now wants to move on to a career in movies, June Diane Raphael and Ravi Patel are both a lot of fun as advisers to Theron's character, and Jackson Jr does just fine as the supportive friend. Another highlight is Alexander Skarsgård, playing a handsome Canadian Prime Minister (or, I guess, just a Canadian Prime Minister, the handsome part comes from him being Alexander Skarsgård) who is always looking to enjoy the company of Theron's character, and their chemistry together seems to often provide a small boost in their approval ratings.

Surprisingly sweet at times, Long Shot is a well-made rom-com that hits all of the expected notes throughout, yet also feels a bit different, thanks to the raunchier and more outlandish moments (Theron being unexpectedly called into an emergency military negotiation is a VERY funny sequence). Levine works well with Rogen, as well as everyone else involved, and this is an amusing diversion, managing to somehow avoid overstaying its welcome, despite clocking in at about two hours. It also has the funniest . . . orgasm fluid . . . gag I have seen since There's Something About Mary.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy the movie here.

Tully (2018)

Most Hollywood movies have a comfortingly optimistic view of parenthood and families that have to struggle to balance the household budget. You see mothers rushing around, usually in a montage of school runs and sporting events, and most people struggling with debt still seem to have a roof over their head, a car (which I know is more essential in America than it is here in the UK), and a generally decent selection of food and drinks.

Tully is a film about motherhood that impressively, determinedly, moves away from the sugar-coated outlook that appears in most movies. Charlize Theron plays Marlo, the mother of two children, one daughter and one son, with the latter having an undiagnosed condition that makes him behave in a way that others charitably describe as "quirky". And she's expecting her third child. Her husband, played by Ron Livingston, seems to be loving and supportive, but could probably do a fair bit more to help, and her brother (Mark Duplass) thinks that he will help out by gifting her the services of a night nanny. And that eventually leads to her receiving help from Tully (Mackenzie Davis), a bright and energetic young woman who helps to make a positive change in the Marlo's life.

Although still far from perfect in the way it depicts a struggling mother, and the way in which it depicts certain health issues, this is a film that has more for parents, and especially mothers, to identify with than usual. The direction from Jason Reitman is as capable as ever, the guy does solid work without ever really putting his own stamp on things, and the script by Diablo Cody is a nice balance of harsh truths and wry comedy, despite a couple of mis-steps that are easily forgiven once the end credits start to roll and you think over what you've just watched.

Theron hasn't put in a bad performance in a long time, and she keeps her streak intact here, showing a woman changed by motherhood in so many ways (mentally and physically) that she wonders if she can ever get back to finding herself under the layers of selflessness, tiredness, and auto-responses. Davis, another actress I have been a fan of in almost every role she has played, lights up the screen with almost every moment of her screentime. Her enthusiasm and energy come in at just the right time, and Davis does just enough to keep her character sweet and likeable when she could just as easily have seemed annoying, and even slightly creepy. Livingston has a lot less to do, although he's not painted in any kind of bad light until he takes time to look at himself a bit more closely, and Duplass is a lot of fun with his mix of bluntness and genuine care for his sister. Gameela Wright also does well as a teacher who has to break the bad news that the school can't really cope with the additional responsibility of one troubled young boy.

Some viewers may see where this is heading from the opening scenes (I am notoriously unable to foresee things in movies that others say are completely bleeding obvious) but that doesn't stop it being an interesting and rewarding journey. I think there's still some way to go before we see a more realistic portrayal of motherhood onscreen, if it ever happens, but this gets closer than most, which is just one of the reasons to give it your time.

8/10

You can buy the DVD here.
Americans can get a Blu here.

A Million Ways To Die In The West (2014)

I quite like Seth MacFarlane, despite the fact that he often sets off my Spidey-sense when he delivers gags that feel more mean-spirited than actually funny. Ted was a lot of fun, but a lot of good work,and goodwill, was undone by MacFarlane's stint hosting the 2013 Academy Awards. He just didn't seem as funny when not hidden behind a character.

The premise is standard stuff. MacFarlane plays Albert, a peace-loving sheep farmer living in the wild west. He doesn't really fit in there, due to his lack of courage and the fact that he's never fired a gun, but he's happy enough with his lady, Louise (Amanda Seyfried). Until Louise ditches him, claiming that she needs time to herself before quickly latching on to the dapper Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Just when he's at a real low point, Albert meets the lovely Anna (Charlize Theron), a woman who decides to help him grow a spine and perhaps even win back the love of his life. Unfortunately, Albert and Anna grow close, which causes some serious friction when her husband, the outlaw known as Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), arrives in town.

Let's get straight to the point here, the biggest problem with A Million Ways To Die In The West is Seth MacFarlane. He directed the film, he co-wrote the script (with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild), and he stars in the lead role. Despite weakness in all three areas, it's probably his attempt to be a leading man that drags the film down the most. He's just not a likable enough onscreen presence to hold together a movie. When not delivered from behind an animated curtain,  the gags and dialogue just come across as smug and obvious.

The rest of the cast try their best, with Theron particularly enjoyable for every moment that she's onscreen. Seyfried and Harris are fun, and Neeson does okay, but isn't given enough screentime to make a better villain. Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman are a loving couple, despite the fact that the latter works every day as a prostitute while convincing her man that they should both save their own sexual activity for when they get married. There are also some great cameos, with one being SO good that it almost made me want to give the movie a bonus point, but to name names would spoil the surprises.

But the cast can only take you so far. At just under two hours, A Million Ways To Die In The West is far too long and far too misguided in attempts to wring humour from the scenario. Oh, if people think that seeing a sheep's penis in detail before it urinates on someone is funny then they will enjoy themselves. Similarly, anyone wanting to see a hat pretending to be filled with liquid excrement might chuckle, but someone hoping to see the unnecessary shot of the hat being knocked so that the liquid excrement starts to spill out onto the ground will find that this is their dream movie. Oh yes, those "gags" are in the movie. Thankfully, a lot of the other gags are better, but not by much.

There's some nice cinematography, and the kind of rousing score that you'd expect from a Western, but those are the only two elements that MacFarlane gets right. There's no love here for the movies, and certainly little attempt to twist the tropes of the genre (other than the obvious High Noon stuff). And, worst of all, the whole thing constantly feels just like a movie. It's self-conscious at almost every turn, but also self-satisfied, which makes it feel lazy and irritating.

Feel free to disbelieve me and check it out for yourself, but this is yet another film that packs most of the best bits into the trailer (and at least one gag that wasn't present, which I'm sure will be shoehorned into the "unrated, even ruder, even more dangerous" extended version that will hit shiny disc). It's not really worth your time or money.

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Million-Ways-Blu-ray-DIGITAL-UltraViolet/dp/B00KM9MP9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401818195&sr=8-1&keywords=a+million+ways+to+die+in+the+west+blu+ray

Reindeer Games AKA Deception (2000)

Ben Affleck stars in this twisty turny action thriller directed by John Frankenheimer and written by Ehren Kruger and it's not as bad as you may have heard. It's not as good, or clever, as it thinks it is but it's a mildly entertaining way to spend two hours and benefits from the presence of the gorgeous Charlize Theron being absolutely gorgeous.

The plot is as follows: Ben Affleck plays Rudy Duncan, a man imprisoned for stealing cars who is about to get his freedom. His cellmate (Nick Cassidy, played by James Frain) is also near the end of his term, five years. Nick has been developed a relationship with a woman who has been writing to him in prison and is looking forward to getting out and meeting her. But as the day of freedom approaches, tragedy strikes. When Rudy leaves the prison he sees the lady of letters (Ashley, played by Charlize Theron) waiting. After a few moments of wrestling with his conscience, Rudy jumps off the bus and runs over to her. He then introduces himself as Nick. What follows seems too good to be true. Rudy is happy, he's in the arms of a beautiful woman who wants to look after him and the only problem is the fact that he lied about his identity. That problem soon becomes pretty major when the happiness is spoiled when Ashley's brother (Gary Sinise) and his gang crash the party. They are planning to rob a casino and they know that they now have the man who can help them. At least, that's what they think. If Rudy comes clean then he's worthless to them and will end up dead but if he tries to keep up the pretence his options aren't looking as good that way either.

Starting with a bunch of dead Santas and then moving back in time, this is a movie that you know isn't necessarily going to end well for most of the people involved. Seeing that Gary Sinise has a gang that includes Danny Trejo, Clarence Williams III and Donal Logue reaffirms that notion. Yet, strangely, it never feels that tense and that's possibly due to the main role going to Ben Affleck.

Here's the thing, I am no Affleck hater (I'm about the one guy who enjoyed Daredevil, as flawed as it was, and I am happy to see him doing so well in his directorial career) but he just doesn't make this role work. He never seems worried, he's not all that convincing and he walks through the movie with that Teflon coating of a star that won't be unexpectedly killed off. I'm not going to spoil the film by telling you if that remains true by the very end of the movie but it certainly kills off the tension for the first 3/4 anyway. Thankfully, the rest of the cast includes those already mentioned (and did I remind you of how gorgeous Charlize Theron is?) and a delightful supporting role for the great Dennis Farina.

The direction by Frankenheimer is solid although with the film running at just over two hours you can't help thinking that a little pruning here and there might have helped. A better script from Kruger would have also helped. It's not THAT bad but it just doesn't hit the sweet spot required. The surprises aren't as surprising as they should be and the lines that are supposed to be cool sound like they were written by someone pretending to be Shane Black as opposed to, y'know, Shane Black. It's a shame that Kruger appears to have peaked so early in his career and has never come close to writing something approaching his work on the superb Arlington Road.

Thankfully, the performances carry this movie along for the duration. Affleck may not be great here but he's okay, which doesn't matter when time is given over to the great supporting actors anyway. Charlize Theron once said that this was her least favourite of all her movies but I think she was too harsh. It's not essential viewing but it has some nice touches, a bunch of great actors and a chance to bask in the glow of the gorgeousness of Charlize Theron (which you might recall me mentioning just two paragraphs above).

6/10

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