Shudder Saturday: Touch Me (2025)

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that you know isn't necessarily great, but they help you to forget the rest of the world for a while? They feel like they're healing you from past traumas, they know just what to say and do, most of the time, and you can at least lose yourself in some throes of ecstasy during the good sex.

That's what Touch Me is all about. It's a psychodrama that also has some moments of horror and plenty of dark comedy running through it. The second film from writer-director Addison Heimann, after the interesting misfire of Hypochondria, this is a huge step up for him, and signifies the strong possibility of a bright future ahead.

Olivia Taylor Dudley is Joey, a lost young woman who finds herself drawn back to her ex, Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci). Joey's bestie, Craig (Jordan Gavaris), accompanies her, but he ends up also attracted to Brian. Brian is hard to resist, despite the fact that he's actually a multi-tentacled alien with some plan that is supposedly meant to save his home planet. Everyone knows this, including a line-in helper (Laura, played by Marlene Forte), but what are a few tentacles and dubious plans when you can feel so good for a short while every day?

Moving smoothly between light and dark, Touch Me works as an obvious analogy for more standard relationships without feeling too clumsy and obvious. It's helped by the alien tentacle content, which does a good job of distracting viewers while the central messaging remains clear and concise throughout. It's also helped by a great score, from Jimmy LaValle (who has worked numerous times with the brilliant Aaron Moorhead and Justin Benson, two of the producers here), and a fantastic core cast.

Dudley is excellent in the lead, one of those people who can be good enough to keep you on their side, despite the selfishness and difficult behaviour. Gavaris also does well, playing his part as equal parts supportive friend and jealous competitor as Brian takes, and maintains, a mesmerising hold over our two main humans. Pucci is given the toughest role, having to be charming, confident, persuasive, and sexually-alluring throughout. The fact that he somehow manages to be all of those things, despite the outfits that he's made to wear, is testament to his hard work. It's also great to watch him be so calm throughout most of the runtime, making the moments that have him worked up all the more effective, and I found myself believing that people could easily fall under his spell. Forte has the least of the four main roles, but she does very well with what she's given, and Ashley Lauren Nedd is a lot of fun in the couple of scenes that have her portraying Dr. Kelly, a psychiatrist certainly not about to take the tales of a wild past told to her by Dudley's character at face value.

Heimann has already received a lot of praise from those who saw this at a number of festivals, but that praise shouldn't stop now that it's more widely available. Those who know the themes being explored, and have an idea of how some familiar elements are being used to make everything feel a bit stranger and . . . out there than it otherwise would be, should be satisfied. Maybe not as satisfied as some of the main characters feel, but the satisfaction of the viewing experience comes with a lot less tentacles, trauma, or problematic untruths to be overlooked. 

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Hypochondriac (2022)

Look, I try to stay open-minded and ready to expect the unexpected when I watch any movie that comes on to my viewing schedule, but films like Hypochondriac are a good argument against genre labels. There's some good stuff here, although it's not all good, but none of that will be appreciated by people who have seen this labelled as a horror and will, understandably, sit waiting for some actual horror. There's a kind of horror running through this, the fear of illness being passed between generations, as well as a bit of body horror, but it's not packaged in a way that will please most. 

Zach Villa plays Will, a man who is struggling with some recent physical symptoms that correlate to extra stress in his life. He's in a fairly new relationship with Luke (Devon Graye), but his behaviour, and what may be hypochondria, is already putting a strain on things. Will has issues stemming from childhood trauma, which leads to him having visions of a wolf-like figure appearing during times of mental and/or emotional overload.

Villa is decent in the main role, if a bit reserved, and smoothly transitions between depressed stillness and manic agitation as the mindset of his character demands. Graye is also very good, going through an understandably difficult time as he tries to figure out a way to be supportive to someone who may not have a path towards any improvement to their situation. Although a few more characters come in and out of the narrative, it's only really Marlene Forte and Chris Doubek who make a strong impression, rather appropriate considering the fact that they play Will's parents.

Writer-director Addison Heimann doesn't do bad with his debut feature, on a technical level anyway. He has assembled a small cast of talented performers, helped himself a lot by hiring Dustin Supenchek to deliver some lovely cinematography, and ensures that every scene has a consistent level of quality that seems to exceed the limitations of the relatively low budget. There are one or two good ideas here, especially in the opening third, but it all starts to sag and fall apart once Heimann gets bogged down trying to disguise some of the more familiar elements with a couple of twists and some ambiguity. Those tactics don't serve the material well, and they don't even actually help to disguise anything.

Perhaps Heimann cannot bring himself to take the lead character far enough into a really pit of dark nightmares, or perhaps he thinks that what is shown here already is enough to keep things intriguing and impactful enough. He's incorrect, sadly, and this needed to depict some moments in the present that were more clearly hurting and scarring than what we saw, forming a stronger bond with the obviously upsetting past that is revealed as everything unfolds.

It's a tough one to figure out, in hindsight. Maybe Heimann was trying to be a bit too ambitious, but maybe he wasn't being ambitious enough. I really can't decide. A few moments of memorable imagery don't do enough to make up for the mis-steps elsewhere. Either way, he's tried to deliver something thought-provoking that will speak to those who have spent their lives rubbing nervously at scars they hope others don't notice. I don't think he succeeds, but I respect his intentions, and I hope to see him improve as his film career continues.

5/10

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April Fools: A Haunted House (2013)

A parody full of juvenile humour that focuses on sex and/or flatulence, it must be something created by one of the Wayans brothers. Lo and behold, yes it is. Marlon Wayans co-wrote this one with Rick Alvarez, and he also gets the leading role, funnily enough.

Wayans is Malcolm, a young man about to take a big step in his relationship with Kisha (Essence Atkins). Yes, they're moving in together. Unfortunately, that's the cue for a lot of supernatural shenanigans, which leads to Malcolm fitting the house with lots of cameras, in an attempt to see just what is going on in their home.

Mainly referencing the Paranormal Activity series for most of the gags, this film also lifts moments from The Last Exorcism and The Devil Inside. That's not surprising, especially for anyone who saw the trailers. What IS surprising is how many gags manage to avoid being completely awful. I can't say that I thought A Haunted House was good, it's not one I would ever want to watch again, but it was certainly better than I thought it was going to be. There were even one or two moments that made me smirk.

Wayans is slightly less annoying than usual here, but he's still annoying. Has he ever done anything in which he wasn't annoying? Probably, but I really can't think of anything just now. Essence Atkins is a little bit more enjoyable, and the supporting turns from David Koechner, Cedric The Entertainer and Nick Swardson provide some chuckles. I just wish the same could be said of everyone given screentime (Affion Crockett isn't great, but he's also given some of the worst material to work with).

The script is as lowbrow as expected, and the direction from Michael Tiddes works with the material to hammer home each joke and ensure that things are kept tasteless. Why hint at something when it can be shown? Subtlety is not a keyword here.

There's an audience for this kind of movie (the sequel was greenlit a while ago, god help us) but I'll never be a fan. My generous rating reflects the few gags that worked, and worked well. The dialogue between Koechner and Wayans is particularly enjoyable, and perhaps it's worth noting that their best moment doesn't directly parody any other movie.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haunted-House-Blu-ray-Marlon-Wayans/dp/B00ECWY18E/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397041646&sr=1-2&keywords=a+haunted+house