Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016)

A sequel to Krampus: The Christmas Devil, this is also notable for being a complete waste of time. Yeah, that's all I want to say about it, but I'll have to spend some more time and energy coming up with a little bit more. If you don't want to waste your time, however, then just take away that first sentence.

There are a few films that just completely defeat me, and this is one of them. It's not nice to be so disparaging of someone's work, especially when you have to keep considering the many people it takes to get any film made, but a few lazy and cynical efforts deserve nothing more than scorn. If a film treats viewers with contempt then the feeling is allowed to be mutual.

The plot, slight and muddled as it is, concerns the ongoing troubles of an ex-cop named Jeremy Duffin (played by co-writer A. J. Leslie) and his hunt for a child-killing monster. That's all you need to know, and the film puts nothing else of interest in it, making the relatively short runtime feel as if it's stretching out into something epic and epically torturous.

With Jason Hull back for both directing and writing duties (assisted by Leslie in the latter department this time around) you would think that there may be some sign of growth from the first movie. There is not. This is a massive step down, in every way. The cast don't do good work, the writing is awful, and an attempt to make everything worthwhile with a third act twist just compounds the misery.

Aside from Leslie, acting-wise, you get Melantha Blackthorne, Tiffani Fest, Robbie Barnes, Paul Ferm, Ben Berlin, and a cameo from Shawn C. Phillips. None of them make a strong impression, certainly not a positive one anyway, and only Ferm and Berlin stand out thanks to bagging the roles of Santa and Krampus, respectively.

Despite my anger at this, and I AM angry at having wasted my time on this (something I don't feel too often, despite the wide range of movies I watch), I have tried not to resort to personal insults. I must say how happy I am that this currently remains the last feature directed by Hull, as well as the last, and only, feature that gives Leslie any writing credit. The two have worked together to deliver something truly dire, and it's hard to believe that they couldn't think of any ways to improve things even slightly.

Any film is a collaboration, and it's also the sum of a multitude of decisions. The fact that not one decision here feels like the right one is a damning condemnation of the attitudes and skillsets of those in charge. People who know me already should know that I try to see some good in everything. There are just over two dozen films that I have ever given the lowest possible rating to (from a rated selection of well over ten thousand). This joins that elite selection, and I hope others heed this review as a serious warning. Avoid at all costs.

1/10

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Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

Independent movies can be a minefield for both film reviewers and genre fans, and I count myself in both camps (even if nobody else views me that way). Sometimes it can be a struggle to look past the low budget and limited resources to see the aims of the film-maker. Some people might say that any flaws still lie directly at the feet of anyone trying to get their film made, and I would agree to some extent, but it's hard to get everything in place to make a movie. Good on those who manage it, but only if they have done so with some effort made, no matter the budget or resources.

Krampus: The Christmas Devil is, for the most part, quite a bad movie. But it has enough onscreen to stop me from viewing it as a waste of my time that would make me angry.

When he was a young boy, Jeremy Duffin (A. J. Leslie) was snatched up by a child-snatching killer. He came to in a sack that had been thrown into icy water. That will do that to you. Many years later, Jeremy is a police officer and that child-snatching killer is at it again. Jeremy doesn't realise that the bad man is actually Krampus, working under the orders of Santa Claus (Paul Ferm). And he may not be the one to worry about, what with a vengeful ex-con (Bill Oberst Jr) just out of prison and aiming to take out his frustrations on Jeremy and family.

Written and directed by Jason Hull, Krampus: The Christmas Devil at least tries to do something a bit different with the familiar (perhaps too familiar in recent years?) Christmas figure. Mixing in the traumatised cop, the people who blame him for lives lost, and the dangerous ex-con all helps to make up for the fact that nothing ever feels all that developed. Some intriguing ideas are hinted at (such as young Jeremy's escape, the instructions from Santa, etc) but nothing is done with them.

Acting-wise, it's generally bad news. I wasn't impressed with Leslie, or Richard Goteri (who plays his Captain). But at least they were bad while still feeling like actual actors, unlike some projects that feel as if the cast was made up of friends, family, and those who allowed filming in their homes. Samantha Hoepfl and Erica Soto are on a par with Leslie and Goteri, but at least we get a few moments of Mr Oberst Jr being as smoothly menacing as he can be, which is a minor highlight.

Viewers will also have to bear in mind that this doesn't manage to hide the fact that it was made on a shoestring budget. The technical side of things, including audio mix and shot choices, is very rough, but at least signs of competence are shown (again, unlike certain titles I could mention).

So I can't rate this highly, there's just too much going against it to make it worthy of even an average score. What I can do is accompany my low rating with a note that you might find this one more enjoyable than I did. It's far from the worst, even in this Christmas horror subgenre, and the short runtime means that, at the very least, it doesn't take up too much of your day.

3/10

You can pick up your copy here.