The Monkey (2025)

When I heard that we were getting a movie version of "The Monkey", a short story by Stephen King, I immediately tried to remember how the tale panned out. I've read a LOT of Stephen King work, including almost all of his superb short story collections, but I could not remember "The Monkey", even after being reminded of the fact that it featured in the fantastic Skeleton Crew. I somehow kept confusing it in my mind with "Chattery Teeth", a story from the enjoyable Nightmares & Dreamscapes collection.

Theo James plays twins Hal and Bill (the younger incarnations played by Christian Convery), men who have very different views on a cymbal-bashing monkey that they took possession of for a brief, but memorable, part of their childhood. Piecing things together, they eventually reached that the conclusion that the monkey would always signify the sudden death of someone close by. Hal would be happy to never see the thing again. Bill, on the other hand, thinks he might be able to make use of such a unique power.

Written and directed by Osgood Perkins, who had great success penetrating the  last year with Longlegs, this looks as if 2025 is the year that allows him to cash in on all of the goodwill he gained in 2024. While still not necessarily for every mainstream horror fan, this is easily the most accessible film that Perkins has directed. As many others have already mentioned, it's a horror comedy with a number of deaths that would easily nestle alongside those showcased in the Final Destination series.

James isn't the best choice for a leading man, but he doesn't do a bad job with his two roles. There are better moments for Convery though, and Colin O'Brien (playing Hal's son, and someone he has kept at a distance in order to keep him safe) brings a better energy to things. Tatiana Maslany is very good as the mother of the twins, and there are very entertaining cameos from Adam Scott and Elijah Wood. Rohan Campbell also has fun in a supporting role, hard to recognise underneath a hairstyle that makes him look like a member of a Ramones tribute act, and I also have to mention Sarah Levy, Perkins himself (giving himself a small role that allows him to almost steal one scene in the movie, Tess Degenstein, and Danica Dreyer.

Everything is decently put together, from the score to the gore gags, from the dialogue to the pacing of the main plot points, but what matters most is that monkey, and I'm pleased to say that it's exactly as it needs to be. Designed to somehow remain completely impassive, yet also oozing menace whenever it's onscreen, the monkey is a brilliant, and unexpectedly effective, "villain". 

Perkins cannot quite navigate the tonal dancing required, but the fact that he gives it a go shows how good his instincts are when it comes to adapting the source material, which really wouldn't work if handled with complete seriousness. The end result is a bit of a mess, but it's an entertaining mess that manages to stand out from a crowd of neater, safer, mainstream horror choices. And I don't need my entertainment to be safe and neat and tidy.

7/10

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Cocaine Bear (2023)

I often roll my eyes when I see films that claim to be "based on a true story". It's often a selling point for a movie that is as closely related to the truth as I am to Michael B. Jordan. I didn't mind it with Cocaine Bear though, a film that takes a bizarre real life starting point (a black bear that was found to have overdosed on over 30kg of cocaine dropped by smugglers flying overhead) and turns it into a wild and entertaining "what if?" scenario.

The plot is simple, but allows for a number of different people to be placed in danger. The cocaine is dropped. The bear ingests some cocaine. The bear is high, and looking to get more cocaine. Meanwhile, Daveed (O'Shea Jackson Jr.) and Eddie (Alden Ehrenreich) have been sent by Syd (Ray Liotta) to retrieve the missing cocaine, obviously oblivious to the idea that it may have already been enjoyed by a huge bear. Young Dee Dee (Brooklynn Prince) and Henry (Christian Convery) have skipped to school to trek around the forest that now contains the Cocaine Bear, which leads to a worried mother, Sari (Keri Russell), requesting help from a couple of forest workers (Ranger Liz, played by Margo Martindale, and a conservationist named Peter, played by Jesse Tyler Ferguson). Meanwhile, a cop (Bob, played by Isiah Whitlock Jr.) also enters the forest, trying to trace the missing cocaine after finding the corpse of the smuggler who fell to his death after knocking himself unconscious. A few more bits of food (dammit . . . people, I mean people) enter the forest, and the scene is set for numerous encounters between scared humans and a coked-up bear. Oh, and it's 1985, which allows for some fun wardrobe choices.

Written by Jimmy Warden, who started his screenwriting career with his co-writing credit on The Babysitter: Killer Queen, this is a fun film, but also a messy one. Everything is set up nicely, in terms of the characters and their disposability, but few of the sequences flow well, either individually or in connection to other moments around them. It's a bit of a mess, but at least it's a fun mess.

The third feature to be directed by Elizabeth Banks (a very smart and funny actress who has been doing really well for herself for over two decades now, whether you like her projects or not), I feel better about seeing the success of Cocaine Bear than I feel about the film itself. The mix of carnage and comedy works well in theory, and the trailer did a great job of selling it to people, but it's a harder sell throughout the movie, only ever intermittently successful. The greatest moment in the entire film, involving the bear and some paramedics in an ambulance, leaves the rest of it feeling surprisingly unenergised. And a film with so much cocaine at the centre of it shouldn't be lacking energy.

I have no complaints about the cast though, whether they're playing typically tired criminal lackeys or young kids tempted to sample from a brick of cocaine found in the forest. Prince and Convery are highlights, and it's more fun to watch them with the idea that they might actually be killed off at any moment. Jackson Jr. and Ehrenreich work well together, suitably deflated whenever they are being chewed out by a typically great Liotta (in one of the last roles filmed before his death), and Martindale, Ferguson, and Whitlock Jr. all pitch their performances nicely in line with the tone of what the film is striving for.

There are a number of canny song choices on the soundtrack, a good helping of graphic gore here and there, and a third act that manages to make you actually root for the bear to continue rampaging, so the good certainly outweighs the bad. It's just a shame that it couldn't have been put together in a way that would allow it to flow a bit better, and moved the best scene to much nearer the very end. Maybe I'm being too picky though. I know I'll definitely rewatch this. And I know it's a fun time. A lot of other people agree, which means that most people reading this review will have seen it already anyway.

6/10

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Playing With Fire (2019)

Smokejumpers, they're a special breed. They are parachuted into the middle of raging fire sites and tackle the raging infernos like absolute heroes. Like firefighters, except they're not like firefighters. Certainly not according to the characters in Playing With Fire.

John Cena is Jake, the stoic leader of his team, a group made up of Mark (Keegan-Michael Key), Rodrigo (John Leguizamo), and the fairly uncommunicative Axe (Tyler Mane). Jake has the chance for a big promotion, which would allow him to feel as if all the years living under the shadow of his beloved, departed, father have all been worthwhile. Which makes things even more stressful when the team end up temporarily caring for three young children (played by Brianna Hildebrand, Christian Convery, and Finley Rose Slater). 

Absolutely harmless family fun, as predictable as it is amusing, Playing With Fire has an okay mix of youngster causing trouble alongside a number of very enjoyable turns from the adults. As well as those already mentioned, Judy Greer pops up to be a love interest often overlooked by Cena as he tries to focus on his career, and Dennis Haysbert is the man who will make the final decision on the promotion, which means he is due to visit just after the kids should be dealt with and moved from the station by that point.

Director Andy Fickman feels like a good enough person for the job here. He's done family fare before, even if he's also given us Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and he's helped by a decent script from Dan Ewen and Matt Lieberman. When I say the script is decent enough I mean that it gets you from A to B to C without any major turbulence or ill-advised tangents. You should know what you're getting with this movie, and you get it.

Cena is fun in his main role, required to look stern and straight-laced until shown how good life can be when you loosen up slightly. Key is hilarious, Leguizamo is a fun addition, and Mane is enjoyably intimidating to look at while having a soft heart. Greer and Haysbert are also pluses, but the latter is really nothing more than the required third-act obstacle/problem. As for the young co-stars, they're bearable. Hildebrand is actually pretty good, but it's not necessary for her to be as annoying or problematic as her younger siblings.

Few of the set-pieces feel as good as they could be, but they're pitched at just the right level for younger viewers, but this moves along nicely enough from start to finish, providing a good opportunity for Cena to grow his audience demographic. Disposable fun, and it leaves you chuckling with some fun out-takes over the end credits.

5/10

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