Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)

Spoiler warning, this isn't the last film in the Lake Placid movie series. I am sure that most people wouldn't have been fooled by "The Final Chapter" sub-heading, especially horror fans who saw the same words used so memorably in the Friday The 13th movie series (for a film that currently has about 7 or 8 films after it already). I knew this wouldn't be any kind of proper finale, but I also knew that I would probably wish it WAS a proper finale. This is a series that really hasn't been served well by the people wanting to wring more and more money from sequels that provide nothing but diminishing returns.

The plot isn't even worth the time and space it would take to describe it. Suffice to say, a group of young folk end up beside the wrong lake, which means they could quite quickly become snacks for some hungry crocodiles. Looking out for the kids are Sheriff Giove (Elisabeth Röhm), Reba (Yancy Butler, reprising a character we all thought had died in the previous movie), and Loflin (Paul Nicholls). And Robert Englund plays a hunter/poacher called Jim Bickerman.

Writer David Reed is also returning from the previous movie, where he didn't do too bad a job, although I wish he hadn't. This is a step down, in terms of both the writing and the direction, the latter now in the hands of Don Michael Paul. Neither man does more than a perfunctory job behind the camera, obviously hoping that the wonky CGI and poor pacing will be made easier to accept by the main cast.

It isn't.

Oddly enough, there's at least some potential with the main adults. Röhm has a good presence, and her chemistry with Nicholls works quite well as their characters are pushed closer and closer together by the clumsy script. Butler is happy to once again ham things up a bit, although she has less scenery left to chew on whenever Englund has been onscreen ahead of her. Someone clearly forgot to tell Englund that he didn't have to play his character like a bastard cousin of Ahab. I'm happy about that though, because he certainly adds some fun. Poppy Lee Friar, Benedict Smith, Caroline Ford, Scarlett Hefner, and the rest of the younger cast members are sadly left hanging out to dry, not given any character depth nor any truly memorable moments, which means every scene they are involved in becomes a waiting game until we see some of the older characters back in action.

I know not to expect great things from these movies, I'm not a complete idiot (ahem, no need to look so surprised), but it shouldn't be so hard to make something moderately amusing and entertaining. They almost managed it with the previous film. They don't manage it this time though, and this isn't really worth your time. Unless your a masochistic completist. Like me.

3/10

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Winter People (1989)

Winter People is a film that really reminds you of just what an interesting career Kurt Russell has had. He may have been launched on to the world from the House Of Mouse and in the 1980s he may have won many fans thanks to his work with John Carpenter, but he wasn't a major draw at the box office and he, deliberately or not, seemed to choose projects based more on how interesting they were than how much money they would rake in. Winter People is an interesting film and, especially considering that I'd never heard of it before this year, it's also a very good one.

It's 1930 and Russell plays the upstanding Wayland Jackson, a young widower who moves with his daughter (and her pet pig) to a North Carolina mountain town. The move doesn't go all too smoothly and, with a car stuck in a river and left with only a few things he is able to carry, Wayland and his daughter end up meeting a young woman named Collie Wright (played by Kelly McGillis) who has a young baby, but no husband at home. Wayland and Collie get along very well, thank you kindly, and it's not long until she is helping him settle into his new life by promoting his skills as a clockmaker to her family and encouraging them to accept this new man in her life. To be accepted means more than just a few social gatherings, however, and Wayland is soon taken along on a bear hunt. Meanwhile, Collie is still being pestered by the mean father of her child (Jeffrey Meek) and things might get ugly.

Based on a book by John Ehle, Winter People would seem to be typical of his work (from the little I've read about his bibliography, having not been familiar with his work before now). Carol Sobieski easily retains the essence of the story in her screenplay and director Ted Kotcheff shoots it all competently enough. It all seems just . . . . . . . fine. Yet, by the time the end credits rolled I realised that I'd enjoyed every unsensational minute of it.

While a lot of the credit can go to Ehle, Sobieski and Kotcheff, the other big plus point for the movie is the strong cast. Russell and McGillis are both wonderful in their main roles, but great support comes from a number of people that aren't so well known. And Lloyd Bridges, who is very good here. Young Amelia Burnette is very good as Wayland's daughter Paula, Jeffrey Meek is intimidating and easy to dislike as Cole Campbell while Mitch Ryan is just as good as his fierce father. Then we have Don Michael Paul and Lanny Flaherty, both perfect as Collie's two dissimilar brothers.

It's not a well-known movie (I certainly hadn't heard it mentioned before and had never heard of it myself, anyway) and it's not all that easy to get a hold of, but if you're a fan of this kind of film or of Russell or McGillis then I encourage you to at least give it a one-time viewing if the chance ever arises.

7/10

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Half Past Dead (2002)

Well, although it's not quite as enjoyable as Exit Wounds it has to be said that this Steven Seagal movie is a 100% improvement over the risible and shoddy Ticker.

The ridiculous plot sees Seagal and Ja Rule (his criminal buddy) incarcerated in Alcatraz. It's all been given a hi-tech makeover and also now does executions. The man awaiting his big moment in the big chair is Lester McKenna (played by Bruce Weitz), being fried for his part in a massive robbery and also managing to hide the $200 million haul before being caught. The warden (Tony Plana) is a tough but fair man and all is going according to plan until a bunch of heavily-armed opportunists land on the isolated prison and take hostages in an effort to get Lester to reveal the whereabouts of his hidden loot. Hmmm, I wonder if Seagal will be the kind of baddie who may just prove to be quite good? Oh, let's not forget that Seagal had been shot up badly some time ago and actually died for just over twenty minutes, which made him Half Past Dead, apparently.

Writer-director Don Michael Paul provides action fans with something dumb but undeniably slick. The editing is a bit jittery in places but the pace is just right and the plot takes a few predictable twists and turns as characters reveal their true intentions.

Seagal at least gets into a few fights this time, which always increases the watchability factor, but so do all of the other prisoners, and they're not all as entertaining to watch. Ja Rule gets plenty of screentime (he's okay but never believable as a tough guy), Morris Chestnut has some great moments, Nia Peeples is tough and sexy, Kurupt (??) is just annoying as a whiny prisoner named "Twitch" and Michael Taliferro is surprisingly likeable as the big bear on the block, "Little Joe". Claudia Christian is the Special Agent trying to communicate with the baddies and ascertain the situation while UK viewers may look twice when they see Ross King (better known here as that cheesy entertainment guy who pops up on GMTV) onscreen but, yes, it IS him.

There are occasional moments of humour throughout and some highly entertaining fistfights and gunfire (one scene involving Nia Peeples chasing Ja Rule is especially enjoyable) but the movie can't really do enough to compensate for the many lapses in logic and moments of just plain silliness throughout. Would a bunch of prisoners really care enough to follow Seagal's lead in a situation that lets them run free and have access to heavy firepower? Can people really keep firing that many bullets at each other without hitting each other? Can Ja Rule ever wipe that half-smirk off his face?
5/10

P.S. They made a Half Past Dead 2??

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