Prime Time: Shortcut To Happiness (2007)

AKA The Devil And Daniel Webster.

Based on a story by Stephen Vincent Benet, which was subsequently adapted into a play, "Scratch", by Archibald Macleish, Shortcut To Happiness (known in some other territories as The Devil And Daniel Webster) shows how strange and mesmerising it can be when life imitates art. The production history of this film, which was due to premiere in 2001 before financial issues and investors being investigated for bank fraud delayed things by a number of years, and led to Alec Baldwin removing his name as the director of a film that he claims was taken away from him in post-production, is more interesting than anything onscreen. But considering the plot is all about someone who wants success, and then finds that getting what he wants doesn't really make him happy, it's hard to hear about the troubles of this feature and not think of it as the end result of someone slightly tempting fate.

Because it's clear that Baldwin wasn't ready to direct a feature. Look, to be fair, maybe there's a better version of this with the right money in place and the right editing of the footage, but it's hard to see it as anything other than a huge disappointment, only of note because of some of the supporting players. It adds nothing to a familiar Faustian tale, doesn't ever get the tone right, and has a lead character that is hard to root for.

Baldwin plays Jabez Stone, a writer who isn't having much luck. He continues to write, but has yet to make any progress when it comes to getting actual sales and readers. That looks set to change when he meets The Devil (played by Jennifer Love Hewitt, who at least has a twinkle in her eye missing from many others onscreen). As his success builds, other things fall by the wayside. Things like friendship, good company, and his reputation. Julius Jensen (Dan Aykroyd) is a fellow writer and friend, but The Devil decides he must take a fall in order for Jabez to climb higher. The same goes for Mike (Barry Miller), albeit in a different way. Molly (Amy Poehler) seems to remain quite neutral, but even she states that she isn't as big a fan of the new Jabez as she was of the old version. Can anything be done to make the deal with the devil null and void? If it can be done, Daniel Webster (Anthony Hopkins) is the man for the job. Considering he's not a complete stranger to The Devil. 

Pete Dexter and Nancy Cassaro may be unfamiliar writers to me, but I'm astonished that Bill Condon joined them for this project and was unable to salvage it. The whole thing is a messy mix of teenage-level philosophy conversations and utter smugness, livened up by the occasional scene that allows Hewitt to have fun. While some of the cast members can save individual moments, none of them can make up for the awfulness of Baldwin in the main role. Maybe he should stick to his strengths, considering how great he can be when he delivers cameo performances that allow him to almost steal entire movies away from featured cast members.

Aside from Baldwin, just bad, and Hewitt, who I wish was given this role in a far better movie, you have Aykroyd being a bit of a boor (which he does well enough), Miller being quite the downer (which HE does well enough), and Poehler being, well, barely present. Hopkins does a decent Hopkins turn, although it needed to be a bit MORE full-on Hopkins, not something I say often, and there's a disappointing waste of both Bobby Cannavale and Kim Cattrall.

There are times when everything about this seems designed to repel viewers, particularly an ending that presents the viewer with absolutely nothing worth mulling over as the credits roll. It's not clever, nor is it thought-provoking. It's just a final middle finger from a film that has already spent 106 minutes insulting anyone who continued to watch it in the hope that it would get any better.

3/10

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Prime Time: Mannequin (1987)

I used to love Mannequin. I'm not ashamed to say it. I could happily rewatch it many times over one weekend. I was young. I was more innocent. I was stupid. Watching it nowadays, after a verrrrrrrry long gap, it soon becomes clear that Mannequin is a bit rubbish. There are still some things to like about it, but you really have to sift through a lot of dirt to find the tiniest little grains of gold.

Andrew McCarthy is Jonathan Switcher, a young man who ends up being unable to hold down a job. He's not being lazy or unrealistic, oh no. He's just an artist, and he needs to do something that helps to fulfil his artistic soul. This is frustrating for his girlfriend, Roxie (Carole Davis). Things change, however, when Switcher saves Claire Timkin (Estelle Getty) from a falling sign outside a department store. It's basically her department store, and she offers Switcher a job. He starts off as a stockroom worker, but eventually meets a mannequin (Emmy, played by Kim Cattrall) that comes alive at night and helps him become a celebrated window dresser. This pleases the flamboyant Hollywood (Meshach Taylor), but displeases the greasy and gurning Richards (James Spader). It also displeases B. J. Wert (Stephen Vinovich), the owner of a rival department store who was ready to buy his ailing competitor at a bargain price.

It's unsurprising to see that this was actually the first theatrical feature for director Michael Gottlieb, who also co-wrote the screenplay with fellow newbie Edward Rugoff. It's a bit more surprising to note the few punchlines that still work though. For example, there's the typical '80s horndog (Armand, played by Christopher Maher) who thinks he is about to have his dreams come true at one point . . . only for his night to fall a bit flat. He may then immediately seek to blame someone else, but it's good to see this being the end of a series of "gags" that were all based on his constant harassment of a woman he wanted to sleep with. Then there are the moments of physical comedy supplied by G. W. Bailey, playing a security guard not a million miles removed from the character her portrayed in the Police Academy movies. Mind you, the gags that work are still not good enough to distract you from the fact that Emmy was "made" by Switcher (a mannequin he worked on for a long time before inevitably being fired), and does everything she can in order to support him and improve his life. She resorts to her unmoving mannequin state when anyone else is around, and seems content to be kept in stasis in between nights she can spend with our leading man.

McCarthy is, just like this movie, someone I used to like a lot in the 1980s. I still like some of his performances, but he's unable to do enough here to make his character as appealing as he should be. He has a few character quirks (drives a motorbike, wears trainers with his trousers, etc.), but there's nothing about him that feels truly special. Cattrall, on the other hand, is wonderful, and does her best in a role that surely didn't seem as good on the page. Her character works so well because of the combination of beauty, energy, and fun that Cattrall tends to carry into everything. Taylor isn't very good, but he definitely makes an impression, and the third act allows him to show how supportive and open-minded good friends should be with one another. Getty is perfectly fine, Davis does well, even if she just has to be the girlfriend who is viewed with disdain for, ummmmm, being successful and responsible, and Vinovich is a decent enough big bad boss ordering his minions to use dirty tricks. It's Spader and Bailey who stand out though, the former giving a performance up there with the greasiest and smarmiest of the decade, which is really seeing something. Replace his character with Jeffrey Combs from The Frighteners and you don't change the film much, that is how entertainingly over the top he plays it. Bailey is helped by the fact that he's accompanied by a, hmmm, "beloved" dog for most of his screentime, but he's an enjoyably inept menace throughout, even if, or perhaps because, his performance doesn't well with the tone of the rest of the movie.

You get a bit of "My Girl" on the soundtrack, and "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" (performed by Starship) plays over the end credits, but the other songs featured here are very forgettable, even when used for the expected montage moments. The department store setting is shot impressively for a few decent scenes, but a lot of the film feels thrown together, without any thought for real texture or plausibility (e.g. the apartment that McCarthy seems to live quite comfortably in, despite his poor record when it comes to employment). Can you ignore all of the ridiculousness to find some enjoyment here? I think so, especially if you're a fan of Cattrall. It's difficult though, and weird to watch this nowadays and think of it being a decent box office success (it certainly did well enough to help Starship have a hit song on their hands). Still . . . I can't hate it. And I could probably rewatch it, if forced. Although how knows if I will still be thinking that way when I finally get around to watching the sequel.

6/10

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Split Second (1992)

Director Tony Maylam has two main features worth checking out. One is The Burning (the slasher classic), the other one is this. What could have been an interesting buddy cop thriller, with a dark heart, instead ends up being a bit too murky throughout, and clumsily written. Which doesn’t mean there is no fun to be had here. And I will maintain until my dying day that this feels very much like a movie adaptation of the James Herbert novel, Moon. 

Rutger Hauer is Harley Stone, a cop with a gritty attitude, a big gun, and a psychic link to a crazed killer (someone who likes to rip out hearts and then take a bite out of them). He is partnered up with Detective Dick Durkin (Neil Duncan), a more by the book kind of cop, of course. As the killer keeps trying to lure Stone to him, those around him end up in danger. He already lost his partner, and extra guilt comes from the fact that he was having an affair with his partner’s wife, Michelle (Kim Cattrall).

A really strange hybrid of elements, Split Second is perhaps most frustrating because it never fully settles on what it wants to be. A cop flick? A dark thriller? A full-on horror movie? It ends up being none of those things, yet it also amuses and entertains as it works with elements from all of them. 

Maylam directs with competence, but contributes to the lack of focus inherent in the messy script from Gary Scott Thompson. The waterlogged future UK setting could have been a great feature, but it is just as wasted as every other part of the plot.

Thankfully, Hauer helps to elevate everything with the power of Hauer. He spouts numerous lines of absolute nonsense, grizzled and single-minded as he wanders through the city on the investigation that defines his entire character. Duncan is nowhere near as much fun, but his differing style works well opposite Hauer’s driven mania. Cattrall is as welcome an addition as she usually is, and there are good little turns from Alun Armstrong, Pete Postlethwaite, Ian Dury, and Michael J. Pollard. 

I have never loved Split Second, something I always found surprising. But I have also never hated it either. That isn’t surprising, mainly because I cannot think of any film starring Hauer that I have strongly disliked. Give it a watch, it’s adequate b-movie fare. Just remember that it is a lower-tier Rutger Hauer movie.

5/10

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Noir November: Masquerade (1988)

I guess it could be easily forgotten among many other slick thrillers from the past few decades, but Masquerade is a very enjoyable piece of fun. Any experienced viewer should be able to tell where the twists and turns are going to appear, yet that doesn't detract from the experience. In fact, seeing how the pieces are put in place to create the winding path of the plot is one of the main attractions, with another being the decent cast.

Rob Lowe stars as Tim Whalen, a young man who is gaining quite a reputation for his work in the sailing world. He's also getting to sleep with Kim Cattrall (who plays the wife of his boss), so it seems like a sweet life. But when he meets the lovely Olivia Lawrence (Meg Tilly) he falls in love. It maybe helps to know that she's megarich, which immediately casts aspersions on Tim's intentions. The couple find themselves under quite a bit of scrutiny, from Cattrall's character, from Olivia's horrible stepfather (John Glover), and from a local police officer (Doug Savant) who still holds a candle for Olivia. It's not long until some treachery is afoot.

Written by Dick Wolf, the script for Masquerade is clever enough to deliver information, both overtly and covertly, to the viewer, while never seeming too clever for its own good. It's both Hitchcockian and also enjoyable, polished nonsense.

Director Bob Swaim knows how to handle the material, and cuts his workload in half by getting the right people in the right roles. Using the attractive location, the attractive leads, and a very good score from John Barry, he keeps everything light and entertaining throughout, with most of the fun stemming from figuring out just who is due to get one over on who.

Lowe is excellent in the lead role, all charm and confidence. He also remains pretty likeable, even when his motives are called into question. Tilly is as lovely as ever, and she had quite a run of movies at this time that made the most of her fragile beauty (also check out Psycho II and Impulse if you can). Glover is always worth watching, in my opinion, as is Cattrall, although I admittedly like to see both onscreen for different reasons, and Savant does a decent enough job with his character, even if he is the weakest of the leads. Dana Delany and Erik Holland provide solid support, and the Long Island location is the perfect setting for such potential soap opera shenanigans.

This isn't a film that wants to take you down too many dark alleyways. It's not a film that will shock you with the revelations that it lines up, mainly throughout the last two thirds of the runtime. It's just a decent bit of entertainment, and it does exactly what it sets out to do.

7/10

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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." 

As much as I try, I just can't help myself. When I visit someone at their home I end up looking at the music, movies and books on their shelves and I end up making snap judgments. If I see a shelf full of CDs by Lady Gaga, The Scissor Sisters and Jessie J, then I don't predict a friendly match made in heaven. If the only books I can see are distributed by Mills & Boon then, again, we probably don't have a lot in common. These judgments are irrational, and often incorrect, but they pop into my mind. If I look at someone's DVD collection and they have Big Trouble In Little China, well, I'd hope that we will get along just fine. It's not just me thinking this way. Kurt Russell says on the DVD commentary track (which is absolutely brilliant, by the way) that you can always tell someone's sense of humour by whether they like this movie or not. So if you're reading this review and you've already seen the movie before and didn't like it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well, we probably wouldn't fare very well if thrown together on a blind date.

Russell plays Jack Burton, a truck driver who gets himself in the middle of some very strange business indeed when he accompanies a friend (Wang Chi, played by Dennis Dun) to pick up the love of his life (Miao Yin, played by Suzee Pai) from the airport. Miao Yin is kidnapped and Jack and Wang head off in hot pursuit to rescue her from her kidnappers. That turns out to be quite tricky when the men discover that Miao has been specifically chosen by the mysterious and powerful David Lo Pan (James Hong), all because of her beautiful green eyes. While they consider their options, another green-eyed beauty arrives, investigative reporter Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall), and helps formulate a plan that will, hopefully, lead to the rescue of Miao Yin as well as many other women being held against their will. It's just unlucky for them that they don't realise the mystical forces they will be coming up against.

I'm sure that most people who have heard of this film nowadays know a bit more than audiences who went to see it back in 1986. In fact, back when it was first released it was given very little promotion and those who stumbled upon it expecting a standard action comedy would have been understandably bemused.

Big Trouble In Little China is far from your standard action comedy. Instead, it takes great delight in taking the conventions of the action movie and turning them upside down. The most obvious, and most amusing, way in which this is done is with the hero, Jack Burton. He's not really a hero. Jack Burton goes through most of the movie either being ignorant of just what's going on or ineffective when needed most. Wang Chi is the man of action, but the film focuses on Burton, to great effect.

Russell is hilarious in the role, which is one of his best performances in a filmography chock full of great performances. Just listen to him talking on the phone after he loses his truck and tries to make an insurance claim - a lot of the dialogue is slightly faded as if it's just background noise, but almost every line is hilarious, mainly thanks to the delivery from Russell. Dennis Dun somehow keeps a straight face throughout and his character works well alongside Burton. What can I say about the Kim Cattrall of the 1980s that hasn't already been transcribed and kept forever in the legal documents that insist I stay at least two miles away from the woman? James Hong is great fun as David Lo Pan, Victor Wong adds to the entertainment as Egg Shen and Kate Burton, Suzee Pai and Donald Li all seem to enjoy themselves as they get caught up in the madness.

Gary Goldman and David Z. Weinstein wrote the script, but W. D. Richter is the man who extensively adapted the material into what audiences finally saw (it was originally envisioned as a western), and everyone involved in crafting the dialogue deserves praise for putting together something that makes people laugh so often, despite never going for easy gags. The movie is all about the characters, especially Burton, and that's where the humour comes from.

Despite the comedic nature of the material and the influences from Chinese culture and action movies of the past, this is still, undeniably, a John Carpenter film. The framing of each scene, the set designs, the music that he composed to accompany the visuals, the presence of Kurt Russell - this is classic Carpenter in every respect. The fact that the whole thing can be interpreted as an allegory for America and the way its foreign policy has affected so many countries over the years is just a bonus. I don't know if Carpenter ever intended that layer to be there, but there it is.

As cliched as it sounds, Big Trouble In Little China is a film that just seems to get better with age. I think if/when I rewatch it next year I may have to come back here to bump up the rating.

9/10

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