Netflix And Chill: The Pale Blue Eye (2022)

I read a book that was gifted to me many years ago called "Quoth The Crow", by David Bischoff. I enjoyed it, but I also recognised that it wasn't great. It just happened to tie into things that I enjoyed; namely The Crow and Edgar Allen Poe. I also quite enjoyed The Raven, a film that pits Poe (played in that movie by John Cusack) against an inventive serial killer, despite also recognising that it wasn't great. It was entertaining, and fun, but not great. The Pale Blue Eye isn't great, yet it has a great cast and the makings of something great. So why did I dislike it quite so much?

Christian Bale plays Augustus Landor, a detective who is hired to investigate the murder of a young military cadet. Landor soon meets a young, striking, Edgar Allen Poe (Harry Melling). Poe is insightful, but also soon comes under suspicion himself. Getting to the bottom of the mystery may not lead to a happy ending for either of our two main characters, and they will surely ruffle some feathers on their way to unmasking the killer, who murders once again while the investigation is ongoing.

Based on a novel of the same name by Louis Bayard, writer-director Scott Cooper gives himself a big helping hand by casting the film well. Bale remains an undeniably effective and talented performer, but he seems to settle into a bit of a rut nowadays when aligning himself so closely to the likes of Cooper, and David O. Russell (of course). Melling is a good fit for the role of young Poe, and the supporting cast includes such notable luminaries as Timothy Spall, Simon McBurney, Toby Jones, Robert Duvall, and Gillian Anderson. Unfortunately, most of them are sorely underused, leaving time and space for performances from Harry Lawtey, Lucy Boynton, Fred Hechinger, Joey Brooks, and Charlotte Gainsbourg, as well as many others populating a tale that paradoxically delivers far too much and far too little. You get a wealth of talent unable to shine, you get a murder mystery without any real tension developed, and you get Poe as a main character without making it feel as if him BEING Poe is really relevant to the premise or plotting of the film.

I would rush to say if the script was the big weakness of this film, and it could certainly do with some tweaks and improvements here and there, but I think the biggest problem is the way that Cooper half-heartedly serves up a film that he doesn't seem passionate about. The thriller side of things doesn't thrill, the drama is even less engaging, and there's no sense of anything coming together as it should. That wouldn't be so bad if Cooper had decided to at least sprinkle some fun into the mix, but he doesn't do that either. The Pale Blue Eye, lacking any one successful element, cast notwithstanding, just feels like a few people showing how smug and clever they can be, all while onlookers (and that includes other cast members) become increasingly bored and exasperated.

It looks nice, generally, but that's not enough. This is a movie with the money and resources to do more than just look nice. A basic level of technical competence is the minimum to be expected, and it's what you get (including a score by Howard Shore). But you don't get more than that. The Pale Blue Eye = the bare minimum.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House (2016)

Oz Perkins has now made three movies, one of which I have yet to see. His directorial debut, February AKA The Blackcoat's Daughter, is one that many people stumbled across, only to find that they were very impressed by it. It was an atmospheric work, one that jumped around time and space, piecing together a puzzle that revealed a spooky and sad picture.

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is another atmospheric work, and also jumps around time and space, AND ALSO pieces together a puzzle that reveals a spooky and sad picture. It shows Perkins to be more confident in his abilities, and more confident in the patience and abilities of anyone viewing his film.

Ruth Wilson plays Lily, a nurse who ends up working in the home of Iris Blum (Paula Prentiss). Iris has written some enjoyably creepy work, but Lily doesn't normally read such stuff. She's too easily scared. But she decides to check out something that Iris wrote, something that she thinks may be tied to the real history of the house in which she has found herself.

Dark and oppressive, yet also light (thanks to the nature of the lead character), I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is a traditional ghost story in almost every sense, apart from the way in which certain scenes are lined up alongside one another. It's all very much on a par with the kind of atmospheric tales you know and love from Henry James and Shirley Jackson, but Perkins also does himself a favour by not including absolutely every trope and creaky door you might expect.

Wilson gives one of her best performances in the main role, and she never really does less than very good indeed in her work. She's there to do a job, to care for someone who has nobody else at her side, and she often walks through the house like some kind of illuminated will-o'-the-wisp. Prentiss has a lot less to do, the film belongs largely to Wilson and Lucy Boynton (playing Polly, another young woman who is inextricably linked to the house), but does just fine.

Perkins has a great knack for taking the elements of a particular subgenre and reshuffling them in a way that allows his films to feel both fresh and veritably overflowing with blood drained from many tales that have been told before. Perhaps not the best kind of film for those who have enjoyed some mainstream bumps and jumps, this should still strike a chord with horror fans who can enjoy a modern spin on some gothic melodrama and tragedy.

Beautifully constructed, nicely scored (by Elvis Perkins), perfectly cast (there's even a nice small role for Bob Balaban), and effectively spooky, this deserves to be seen and appreciated by patient viewers.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Don't Knock Twice (2016)

It is often no fun to be as curious and/or optimistic as I am. Along with my need to see everything I can, to form my own opinion on it, it means that I end up quite often disappointed. Which was the case here, after someone reminded me that Don't Knock Twice was available. Nothing about it really drew me in, both the plot and the promotional imagery seemed clichéd and lame, but once it was brought up in conversation, well, I knew I had to see it.

To the surprise of no one, this turned out to be just about as bad as everyone else had already said it was.

The paper-thin plot concerns a young girl (Chloe, played by Lucy Boynton) who knocks twice on the door of a woman believed to have been a child-snatching demon. When she was alive. Bring harassed by people drove her to an early grave, so we are told. Lucy no longer feels safe at the care home she resides in, and so goes to spend some long-overdue time with her mother (Jess, played by Katee Sackhoff), who was useless many years ago while occupying her time with drug addiction. Before you can say "knock, knock" there are bumps in the night, bumps in the day, and jump scares aplenty en route to a finale you will struggle to care about.

Directed by Caradog W. James, who wrote and directed the interesting little sci-fi movie The Machine a few years ago (recently also developed into a TV movie, although I cannot say whether that is a progression or simple remake), Don't Knock Twice is about as far removed from that as you can get. Not only is the premise ill-conceived and paper-thin, it's just poorly handled throughout, with nothing more onscreen than a mix of some poor jump scares and nonsensical plotting.

Writers Mark Huckerby and Nick Ostler have a LOT of writing credits for children's TV shows, which makes a lot of sense. This is something that would play out a lot better if pared down and packaged into an episode of something like Goosebumps or Are You Afraid Of The Dark?

All of this would be easier to tolerate if the cast was good enough to make up for the obvious failings. Unfortunately, it's not. Boynton does her best in her role, and she's the best out of everyone onscreen, while you have a supporting turn from Pooneh Hajimohammadi that requires her to look wide-eyed and alarmed almost as soon as things start to gear up for the second act, and Nick Moran is a detective named Red Herring . . . I mean Boardman, his name is Boardman. But is he all that he appears to be? As for Sackhoff, I have enjoyed her in a couple of roles, but I certainly don't get my hopes up when I see her name listed in any movie credits. Does anyone think she's a good actress, or is her career now maintained thanks to her landing a role in Battlestar Galactica that gained her a loyal fanbase for life?*

This is really not worth your time, even if you're after something that won't require you to concentrate too hard. It has some decent production values, and the benefit of Boynton in a lead role, but there's nothing else here to recommend it.

*And should I check out that show one day?

3/10

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Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Okay, I cannot really formulate my thoughts on this film in a way that makes sense, but I'm going to try my best to explain myself. A lot of Bohemian Rhapsody is quite rubbish. It is laughable that the film won an Academy Award for best editing, especially when you can highlight some key sequences that wouldn't look out of place in a Paul W. S. Anderson movie. It is a "greatest hits" version of the history of Queen, and the life of charismatic frontman Freddie Mercury. It's a family-friendly rock opera, in a way, with the mix of humour, tragedy, and elation you can expect from such a thing. And yet . . . that doesn't stop it from being a bloody good time. The highlights are absolutely goosebump-inducing, and easily impressive enough to make up for the weaker aspects.

Rami Malek is Freddie, in a performance absolutely deserving of all the praise heaped upon him, as well as his win at the 2019 Oscars. He becomes the lynchpin of Queen, with the talent of Brian May (Gwilym Lee), Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy), and John Deacon (Joe Mazzello). He also develops a life-long relationship with Mary Austin (Lucy Boynton), constantly astounds the band manager (Aidan Gillen) with his vision, and his ability to make that vision into a fan-pleasing reality, and enjoys gently mocking the lawyer that they have in their corner, Jim 'Miami' Beach (Tom Hollander). And, as the start of the film makes abundantly clear (as does the advertising imagery and any trailers you may have seen), it all leads to a legendary live performance at Live Aid in 1985.

Directed by Bryan Singer (but with the whole thing finished in the last few weeks by Dexter Fletcher after Singer had gone AWOL for a while), Bohemian Rhapsody is almost exactly what you want it to be. As long as you want it to be a fun time in the company of Queen. The screenplay, written by Anthony McCarten, is more concerned with keeping viewers entertained and in high spirits than it is with providing a story that feels grounded in the truth. Even the moments that really happened just feel so unreal, so apocryphal, that it never allows the film to feel like anything more than a rocking fairytale.

It's a good job that Malek is uncannily good in the main role, and that you have Gillen and Hollander to look out for, because none of the other main cast members do anything worthwhile. Well, none of the cast members portraying members of Queen anyway. Lee, Hardy, and Mazzello are poorly treated in a storyline that serves as nothing more than a testament to someone they obviously loved. The sad thing is that you get the feeling that everyone deserved something a bit better, even if that meant showing more of the low points and exploring just what would drive the band, individually and together. Boynton is the other person who actually manages to make an impact, thanks to both her performance and the fact that she is the only character in the film given any hint of depth.

Please believe me when I say that I am not being snobbish (and people who know the wide variety of films I watch will know I am no film snob) by saying that this is quite rubbish, and quite rubbish in oh so many ways. Yet, despite the myriad flaws, it's easy to see why it's a crowd-pleaser. You get all of those familiar Queen songs, you get a number of great moments, and you get a finale that is up there with the best I can think of, in terms of making you want to stamp your feet, throw your fist in the air, and vicariously join in with one of the greatest live performances of all time.

6/10

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Netflix And Chill: Apostle (2018)

The latest film from writer-director Gareth Evans is a world away from the action movies that made him a favourite among film fans. There is violence here, but it's often slow and excruciating, rather than the wham bam fist and foot work displayed in the likes of The Raid. He has, of course, done horror before (in V/H/S 2), and there are a number of elements here that run alongside that particular segment, but this is a much more restrained and strange bit of work.

Dan Stevens plays a young man, Thomas, who is sent on a mission to retrieve his kidnapped sister. He is to locate her and make sure she is safe, and only then is he to make a payment of the ransom demanded for her. Unfortunately, the isolated religious cult that has her in their grasp is aware that someone will be coming. That makes his mission all the harder, as does the mysterious truth that he starts to uncover about the mystery at the heart of the cult.

Stevens is as good as he always is in the lead role, Michael Sheen plays the leader of the cult with aplomb (and, god, I wish Sheen picked up more roles, it feels like forever since I have seen him really sink his teeth into a role as good as this one), Mark Lewis Jones is menacing as an acolyte who starts to think things should be done differently, apparently for the benefit of the people, and there are excellent supporting turns from Bill Milner, Kristine Froseth, Lucy Boynton, Sharon Morgan, and Paul Higgins.

There's a good film here, it's all put together well by Evans, helped enormously by that great cast that he's assembled, but the biggest problem with Apostle is that it's never as good as the many films that seem to have so clearly influenced it (the main title being The Wicker Man, of course, but there are also shades of Witchfinder General, The Blood On Satan's Claw, and every movie that has come along in the intervening years, from The Village to A Field In England). A number of those movies are hard to equal, of course, but if you're going to evoke them so clearly then you'd better be prepared to pull out all the stops and try your best to get even close to them. It doesn't feel as if Evans tried as hard as he could, instead being distracted by plot elements that come together for a disappointingly predictable climax (which is not the same as a disappointing climax, and it must be said that it fits well enough for the film we are given).

There are a few standout scenes, a couple of them so wince-inducing that even hardened gorehounds may be surprised when they occur, but this is a 130-minute film that still manages to feel as if it doesn't give you enough meaty chunks in the broth it is offering, if that analogy makes sense to anyone but me. You will be entertained at times, you will be intrigued, but most viewers will find that neither of those feelings last all the way through to the end credits.

Apostle is definitely worth your time. Just don't listen to the many articles that have already popped up declaring it as the new unmissable, most terrifying, most brutal movie on Netflix. Hyperbole is where the traffic is, a lack of hyperbole is usually where the truth lies.

7/10

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