The Flash (2023)

If there is a more redundant blockbuster that has been released in cinemas in the past few years then I am struggling to think of it. Even the underwhelming Black Adam at least felt as if it was trying to move pieces into place for the flailing DC cinematic universe. The Flash, on the other hand, changes almost nothing, one groan-inducing punchline aside, and feels like what it is: a placeholder spinning while everyone around it tries to scramble together a plan. The more time that passes with us being presented crap like this while Batgirl remains consigned to movie oblivion, the more resentful I become of WB and DC.

Here’s the plot summary. Please note, I will be mentioning details shown in the trailer, but don’t read further if you want to enjoy any of the best surprises that this contains. Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) is The Flash, often called into action for his superhero abilities when nobody else is available. He doesn’t mind helping Batman (Ben Affleck), but it feels as if he is just used to clean up any big mess. Barry also still spends a fair bit of time missing his dead mother (Maribel Verdú) and is tortured by the fact that his imprisoned father (Ron Livingston) cannot show proof that he wasn’t the murderer, even though they both know he didn’t do it. Realising he can run fast enough to go back in time, however, Barry heads back to try and fix the past. Teaming up with another incarnation of himself (also played by Miller), he aims to make one very small change. Before you know it, Zod (Michael Shannon) is back, there’s a Supergirl (Sasha Calle) where Superman might once have been, and Bruce Wayne/Batman now looks a lot like Michael Keaton.

Written by Christina Hodson (with input from a few other helping hands) and directed by Andy Muschietti, this is a horrible mess from start to finish. Considering how problematic the production was (just look up any news on Ezra Miller), the fact that it was even completed and released may seem miraculous to some, but it’s hard to think of anyone being pleased or satisfied by the end result. Yes, there are a number of fan-service moments here and there, but a film needs to do more than that. And this doesn’t. It REALLY doesn’t. 

The special effects are wildly varying in quality, the depiction of the multiverse is an eye-watering mess, and there’s no consistency in the timing of how things work between our normality and superspeed (e.g. the opening sequence which has Barry waiting for a sandwich order, then being called to a falling hospital in Gotham, speeding there, taking to Batman and Alfred while rescuing people and babies, and getting back in time for his sandwich order being completed).

And don’t get me started on Hodson’s script, which is her weakest work by far (and I have enjoyed most of her other stuff). This is a script based around three things - the central paradox, a load of nostalgia, and one Back To The Future gag that is overused as soon as it is mentioned a second time). Only one of those things works well enough, the nostalgia, and that is more to do with the timeless greatness of Keaton than it is to do with the writing. Whether coincidental or deliberate, it's also worth mentioning that one or two lines are so on the nose that it occasionally feels a bit distasteful. The most egregious moment has Ezra Miller saying: "I understand that these events can be psychologically scarring! You should seek the services of a mental health professional, the Justice League is... not very good at that part yet. Trust me."Sheesh!

Miller is perfectly fine in their dual roles, certainly as enjoyable and fun as they were in their previous main outing as this character. They’re not good enough to be irreplaceable though, and it’s strange that they were kept on, especially when you consider the “escape clause” afforded by this premise. Keaton is the highlight of the film, still showing that twinkle in his eye that has kept him as my favourite Batman since he first started in the Tim Burton blockbuster, but Calle certainly makes a strong impression as Supergirl. I would give Shannon equal praise, but he is sorely underused, and that is a shame. Someone else sorely underused is Kiersey Clemons, involved in a few scenes that effectively frame the main storyline, but made to feel as if she was put in front of the camera after donating enough to a crowdfunding campaign that was offering a “featured role” as a reward. Clemons deserves better, but the same can be said for most of the cast members, as well as the viewers.

This needs to be the final nail in the coffin of the previous, constantly shifting, attempt to create a DC cinematic universe. In fact, it works best if thought of as a headstone, the shadow looming over a grave where creativity, intelligence, and dignity have been buried. We know about multiverses though, which means those things live on elsewhere, and you can see them in other blockbuster movies released this year. It remains to be seen whether or not they will reappear in the upcoming slate of DC movies.

I have added one extra point for some relatively fun cameos elsewhere in the movie, moments I won’t spoil here, but I almost immediately removed it when I remembered a multiverse sequence in the final act that almost made me throw up in my mouth. Some may like this a bit more than I did (even with the horrible score from Benjamin Wallfisch), but I can imagine only the most die-hard comic book fans will manage to love it.

4/10

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Mubi Monday: Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

A fairytale framed by dramatic elements, and punctuated by moments of vicious violence, Pan's Labyrinth remains the very best thing from writer-director Guillermo del Toro, despite stiff competition from the likes of Cronos, The Devil's Backbone, and The Shape Of Water.

The main character is a young girl named Ofelia (played by Ivana Baquero), who is taken along by her mother (Ariadna Gil) as they start a new life with the ruthless Captain Vidal (Sergi López). Vidal is under orders to deal with republican rebels in the local area, a job he does with no small amount of rigour and zeal, even fatally punishing people who were guilty of nothing more than hunting rabbits in the wrong area. Ofelia does not like her new stepfather, but she does like Mercedes (Maribel Verdú), a housekeeper who is helping the rebels in their efforts. She also takes a liking to escaping into some flights of fantasy, encountering a Faun (Doug Jones) that sets her a number of challenges, explaining that completing them will prove that she is the spirit of an immortal princess from the underworld.

Intelligent, tense, and beautiful throughout, Pan's Labyrinth is a moving and rewarding experience for horror movie fans. I was worried about revisiting it this time around, having not seen it for about a decade, and I could remember the basic plot elements but not exactly how they all played out, but it took me mere moments to settle into the rich and detailed onscreen world, onside with young Ofelia from her first moments.  I encourage anyone else to revisit this, especially if you have left it as long as I did.

As a cinematic world-builder, I cannot think of anyone who does that better than Del Toro, especially when it comes to his horror work. He's helped in no small measure here by Jones, who plays both the Faun and a character named the Pale Man, and some gorgeous CGI creations (insects and fairy figures), but there's not one element I can think of that feels like anything less than top-notch work.

Baquero gives a wonderful performance in the central role, at ease with the magical sights around her as she retreats further and further away from a reality that is growing bleaker and bleaker. Both Gil and Verdú work well with her, and on their own. The former is playing a character who, due to her heavily pregnant state, spends a lot of her time resting and unable to see the worst of the events unfolding around her, either unintentionally or deliberately seeming oblivious to things. The latter is a strong fighter who has to work even harder in the third act to help save the lives of those she cares for. López portrays one of the great villains of modern cinema, whether he's horrifically bashing in someone's head with a wine bottle, torturing prisoners, or trying to self-repair his own wounds. He's easy to hate, and viewers are clued into how we should feel about him from Ofelia's point of view, but also avoids being a pantomime figure. You could argue that Del Toro sometimes has more time for his villains than his heroes, but he gets the balance right here, and every character, even a local doctor (played by Álex Angulo) becomes someone you're invested in. I've already mentioned Jones. I don't want to harp on and on about him, but his performances are absolutely worth mentioning again, and he has the pleasure of being involved in the most memorable imagery tied to the film.

The script and direction are almost perfect. The only criticism, a very minor one, is that you can too easily tell one or two characters that may be dealing with Captain Vidal while also betraying him by helping the rebels. A couple of nervous movements and glances feel very obvious and unsubtle, especially compared to everything else in the film. But that is the only thing I can think of that stops this from being a perfect modern classic of cinema, and it's still not enough to actually stop it from feeling, overall, like a flawless gem.

For teenagers who have the patience, and for all adult viewers, this is a powerful enchantment. Del Toro himself is the insect/fairy who takes our hand and takes us slowly and surely into an underworld as beautiful as it is dark, reassuring us at every step that we have nothing to fear, as long as we remember everything he is telling us. It's a tale of familial love, a tale of grief, a tale of war, and a tale of tales, how we use them to process horrifying thoughts and to escape reality, even if that escape is only temporary. Even if it is our mind deceiving us while our body endures some harsh mistreatment.

10/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can get a great disc here.