Hypnotic (2023)

It doesn’t matter how many times you get to the cinema this year, I doubt you will see a dumber film than Hypnotic. It’s so consistently ridiculous that it sits on the same level as some of the classic stinkers of cinema, and may well go on to become a bit of a cult classic in time.

The plot all begins with cop Danny Rourke (Ben Affleck) talking to a therapist about the day his daughter was snatched away from him. It was a typical day at the park, he let his mind wander for just a moment, and that one lapse has gone on to define his entire character. After his therapy session is over, Rourke is almost immediately sent to check out a potential bank robbery. That’s where he first encounters Dellrayne (William Fichtner), a man who can get people to see and do whatever he plants in their mind. While trying to figure out exactly how he works his magic, Rourke heads along to see Diana Cruz (Alice Braga), a woman who knows all about the power of people like Dellrayne. Rourke needs to stop the guy, but he also suspects that he knows something about the disappearance of his daughter. It is going to be a lot harder to crack this case, however, while Rourke is unable to trust his own senses.

Director Robert Rodriguez isn’t a stranger to messy movies, to put it kindly, but his worst moments have always, up until now, been reserved for the kind of ridiculous kid films that we’re never exactly aimed at cinephiles anyway. Hypnotic feels different. It feels, despite the silliness, as if it is aimed at adult viewers, but it also feels very much like Rodriguez had an idea (he also co-wrote the script with Max Borenstein) and wouldn’t let anyone dissuade him from crafting an entire movie around that idea. And getting Affleck for the main role just goes to show how poor Affleck is at choosing star vehicles for himself.

While I could offer up a selection of lines from the script that would make even the most stone-faced reader laugh out loud, that seems a bit too easy. Especially when the cast do so little to help. Affleck plays his cop in the style of Topper Harley, Braga is disappointingly flat while delivering almost every bit of exposition required, and Fichtner isn’t allowed to just cut loose and have more fun with his bad guy. He should be the absolute highlight of the film, especially when you think of the ridiculous power he has, but he somehow feels like nothing more than a canny henchman. JD Pardo, Dayo Okeniyi, Jackie Earle Haley, and Jeff Fahey also appear, although the latter two only have a mere minute or two of screentime, which helps to spare them too much embarrassment.

There’s one decent set-piece, known to anyone who saw the trailer, but nothing else here. The score is uninteresting, the special effects are okay, at times, but will probably just make you wish you rewatched Inception instead, and the whole thing lacks tension, as well as lacking anyone to really care about.

It IS mesmerising, in a way, but it’s mesmerisingly awful. And shame on Rodriguez for calling back to a joke delivered in the far superior Desperado.

3/10

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Godzilla Vs. Kong (2021)

Adam Wingard gets his turn to direct a film featuring famous giant monsters and you may have already heard from a lot of people who are delighted with how Godzilla vs. Kong plays out. I enjoyed it, particularly the fun little moments that seemed to reference other movies (there's a particularly enjoyable Jaws reference during the first major encounter), but there are some things stopping it from being the film that finally gets everything right in this developed Monsterverse.

Let's get the plot out of the way first. A big corporation, Apex, want to find a way down and into the Hollow Earth, a space underneath us where the titans may have originated. They hope to find a powerful energy source down there, and the best way of making it there is to follow Kong, who has been kept in a containment unit near Skull Island that looks generally pretty similar to Skull Island. This leads to some Monarch staff (mainly Ilene Andrews, played by Rebecca Hall) journeying with a scientist (Nathan Lind, played by Alexander Skarsgård) and some Apex bods to a place where they can drop off Kong, and hopefully follow him down into the Hollow Earth. But transporting Kong may alert Godzilla to his presence, which could lead to a fight between the two of them. There's also a little deaf girl (Jia, played by Kaylee Hottle) who can communicate with Kong, and the return of Madison Russell (Mille Bobby Brown), who teams up with a friend (Josh, played by Julian Dennison) and a podcaster/Apex-insider (Bernie, played by Brian Tyree Henry) to find out what is behind the recent resurgence of Godzilla, and his attack on a specific Apex site.

What I've just summarised there is pretty much everything you need to know about the plot of Godzilla vs. Kong. In fact, if you were to miss large sections of the movie and only saw the fight scenes then you could thank me for keeping you up to date. It's understandable that this is a film that plots everything out as an excuse to give viewers scenes with the two titans battling one another. That's the selling point, and Wingard definitely delivers on that front.

The action is nicely shot, enough of the surrounding environment has some weight to it as it all gets demolished, and there is a smooth and clear approach that allows you to enjoy the loud noises and spectacle without getting a headache. No small feat.

The screenplay, by Eric Pearson and Max Borenstein, is nonsense, but it's nonsense that is generally perfectly acceptable for this kind of thing. The science seems vaguely plausible, the characters work together, or fight one another, for believable reasons, and everything kills time in between the moments of mass destruction. It's a shame, however, that the script feels the need to include the characters of Madison, Josh, and Brian. Their inclusion feels completely unnecessary, and moments featuring them could have easily been transferred to other characters. It would have also saved us from some of the worst of the acting, which I'll get to next.

In the Kong-centric narrative strand, the cast do well with what they're given. Skarsgård is likeable and has the right motives for his actions, Hall feels very much like a perfect fit for her character, and young Hottle shines in the moments that highlight her smallness against the giant figure of Kong. Eiza González also works well, the company figure along to make sure any decisions made protect the Apex investment. Elsewhere, sadly, the acting ranges from poor to downright abysmal. Demián Bichir is Walter Simmons, heading up Apex, and is basically asked to act as if he's wearing a monocle and twirling a moustache. Then you have that aforementioned trio. Henry is good fun, but Dennison is wasted (it's the only film I have seen him in so far where I didn't warm to his character), and Brown is so bad at times that I was waiting for her to "break character" onscreen and show that she was playing someone trying to emulate tough and determined from characters she'd seen in other movies. She doesn't, which means the moments with her over-acting to show she is tough and determined are actually choices made for the performance. She's never been that bad in anything else, which leaves me to wonder whether she'll struggle to transition into other non-Stranger Things roles, or whether Wingard was just not great at directing his cast.

But the action delivers, and that's what a lot of people wanted from this film. It's what a lot of people wanted from all of the films in this Monsterverse, but different approaches elsewhere have led to wildly varying results. Personally, I prefer the first two movies in this cinematic series, but this has a number of highlights that are undeniably pleasing for fans of the featured titans (including a third "fighter" that was obvious to anyone who looked more closely at some of the trailers).

Watch it, enjoy it, have a big bowl of popcorn with it, and don't overthink any of the plot details. I'll happily buy it when it becomes available, but I still much prefer the stranger pleasures of Shin Godzilla.

6/10

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Bonus Review: Godzilla (2014)

Let me start this review by reminding people that I was in the minority when it came to Monsters, the cinematic feature debut of Mr. Gareth Edwards. I thought that the film was good, but not great. Edwards had the potential to do much better, I thought. When the news came that he’d been handed Godzilla, I was as excited as anyone else. And as the hype machine started to gather speed I was definitely eager to be wowed by this movie. I paid extra for IMAX tickets, I picked the best seats available, and I slipped on the 3D glasses.

And two hours later I walked out of the cinema with a feeling of disappointment.

What’s the plot? Well, after a fantastic credit sequence, we get to see Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) trying to figure out what to do about tremors that he fears may cause problems for the Japanese nuclear power station he works at. Those tremors do cause problems. Major problems. Fast forward by fifteen years and Joe is still obsessing over just what happened. The area is, apparently, dangerously radioactive, but Joe thinks that something is being covered up. When he’s arrested for trespassing, while trying to access his own home (abandoned in the middle of the disaster, it has some of his work/research that he desperately needs), it’s up to his son, Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), to travel to Japan, pick him up and try to keep him out of further trouble. Ford had just started to enjoy some leave time from the military, settling down with his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and son (Carson Bolde), but picking up his dad will soon be the least of his worries. It’s not long until a MUTO – Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism – shows up and starts to make a mess, to put it mildly. And then, well, it’s only a matter of time until the titular creature makes an appearance.

Godzilla is not a BAD film, and many fans of the big guy have expressed their absolute delight with the final product, but it’s a film that highlights just how small the bag of tricks is that director Edwards is working with. Most of the movie can be summed up in this way – camera looks at character, character looks awestruck, camera then moves to reveal part of whatever is inspiring reaction. Seriously, remove every shot just like that and you could probably shave ten minutes off the runtime. Some have complained about the slow build, but that really didn’t bother me. Patience is a virtue, and it’s fair enough to make people wait and wait for the main event. It’s a shame, however, that an early trick/gag of cutting away from some monstrous action is then repeated on so many occasions that you start to suspect that the whole thing is one big leg-pull. The big third act was interrupted a few times, each time cutting away to scenes that seemed painfully boring compared to what viewers knew they were missing out on.

It’s also a shame that everything felt as if it was taking place in a large studio lot, as opposed to a city full of people. I know that evacuation measures were put into place, but I find it hard to believe that the location of the final battle would be cleared out so quickly. The end result is something that feels impressive, but also feels as if it is taking place in a vacuum. This is a failing highlighted by just how potentially great the mid-point sequence in Hawaii is, but that set-piece is one of those just used to tease the audience on the way to the grand finale.

The acting from everyone concerned is just fine for the film. I thought Taylor-Johnson was decent enough as the rather bland military man who ends up stuck in the middle of a monster mash, Cranston is the human highlight of the cast, but isn’t around for long enough, and Olsen has to look concerned a lot of the time, which she does. Ken Watanabe gets a few choice lines, he’s a man who knows what Godzilla is and how he should be respected, while Sally Hawkins hangs around beside him and isn’t given all that much to do at all. And then there’s David Strathairn, who does well as the Admiral trying to save as many lives as possible. While nobody, Cranston aside, is on their best form, complaining about the acting in a Godzilla movie is like complaining about there not being enough sex and violence in a Pixar film. The two don’t really go together, so just sit back and enjoy it for what it is.

The other main stars are pretty superb, it must be said, with Godzilla looking the best that he’s ever looked. He may be a CG creation, but he feels real, he has weight, and his appearance mixes new touches with the established, classic template. Similiar praise can be heaped upon any other creatures onscreen, although it’s a shame that the main MUTO feels a bit too much like a blend between the creature from Cloverfield and Super 8.

The script by Max Borenstein is okay, bringing a seriousness back to the franchise that was missing in the much-maligned 1998 movie (a film which most like to dismiss, but I enjoyed). But giving the movie a serious tone and forgetting to include ANY sense of fun are two very different things. Aside from one cheeky gag – a big showdown being played on a news report – the film is a pretty po-faced and humourless affair. Thankfully, it does include plenty to appease fans, and at least consistently tries to deliver spectacle on a grand scale.

Last, but by no means least, I have to mention the superb audio work. The score, by Alexandre Desplat, is almost flawless throughout, and I’ll happily admit that there have been few sounds to impress me in the cinema half as much as hearing that mighty Godzilla roar.

Even if you end up as disappointed as I was, this is a film to see on the big screen, accompanied by a superior sound system. Although it falls down on a number of main points, there are also still many great moments in the movie. Edwards has done what he set out to do. Put Godzilla back on the big screen, atomic breath and all, in a movie that gives him the respect he deserves. Maybe next time he’ll also respect the audience a little bit more.

6/10

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