The Sheep Detectives (2026)

I received funny looks from people last week every time I mentioned the fact that I was heading to the cinema to see The Sheep Detectives. Nobody seemed to think that it sounded like an enjoyable and watchable film. That's their loss. The Sheep Detectives is sweet, funny, and manages to hang everything on a central murder mystery that feels as well-constructed as it is comprehensible for younger viewers who may have a lot less experience with the template being used.

Hugh Jackman plays a shepherd/farmer named George Hardy, happiest when spending time with his sheep. He reads mystery novels to them every day, oblivious to the fact that the animals actually understand everything he's saying, and often have their own conversations about the plot when he's then taken himself off to bed for the night. Which ends up being good practice for them all when George is found dead one morning. Murdered. It's doubtful that the local nice-but-dim policeman, Officer Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun), will crack the case, which means it's up to the sheep. Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is arguably the smartest one, but she's helped by the likes of Mopple (Chris O'Dowd), Wool-Eyes (Rhys Darby), Cloud (Regina Hall), Sir Ritchfield (Patrick Stewart), Zora (Bella Ramsey), and Sebastian (Bryan Cranston). There are enough suspects in the local village, and the population has a few extra bodies in the shape of George's daughter, Rebecca (Molly Gordon), a lawyer named Lydia Harbottle (Emma Thompson), and a small-time journalist hoping for a big break (Nicholas Galitzine).

Based on a novel, "Three Bags Full", by Leonie Swann, this has been adapted into screenplay form by the talented Craig Mazin. He knows what people will want from this, and he delivers. The central investigation doesn't seem to cheat, there's a satisfying reveal and explanation that would make Agatha Christie proud, and you get plenty of moments that just have lambs being cute, sheep being amusingly sheep-ish, and a perfect mix of entertainment that displays danger one minute and cosy safety the next.

Director Kyle Balda has spent the last 15 years or so helming animated shorts and features, which makes him a good pick for something that relies on a flock of main characters created by, or enhanced with, top-notch computer work. You could tell me that 90% of the sheep onscreen here were entirely CGI and I would believe you. You could also tell me that 90% of the sheep onscreen here were entirely real and I would believe you just as readily. The impressive thing is that it's hard to see any "join", and a lot of that comes from the steady guiding hand of Balda.

While the voice cast all do great work, many of them are such a good fit for their characters that I suspect many viewers will struggle to place them until the end credits roll. Aside from those already mentioned, and lead duties are roughly shared between Louis-Dreyfus, O'Dowd, and Cranston, there's also a very enjoyable performance from Brett Goldstein, pulling double duty as the voices of Reggie and Ronnie, two sheep happiest when given permission to ram into things. Thankfully, the live-action cast members do enough to justify stealing screentime away from the sheep. Gordon is as easy to like as she usually is, Thompson is a lot of fun, Galitzine gets to upset a few people with his questions, and Braun manages to be sweet and amusing, AND maintains a pretty decent English accent throughout.

It takes a little while to acclimatise to how everything is presented, but most viewers will find that they soon start ignoring the artifice in favour of the characters and the unfolding mystery. There's a helpful, and lovely, score by Christophe Beck, decent pacing that makes the 109-minute runtime pass by quickly enough, and a perfect handling of tone that allows for some timely tears and tension in between the frequent chuckles. I hope that more and more people will eventually be convinced to give this a go, and it may well turn out to be the most delightful feature film of 2026.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Cold Comes The Night (2013)

Alice Eve stars in this film. I like Alice Eve. Bryan Cranston also stars in this film. I like Bryan Cranston. Logan Marshall-Green makes it three for three, even if I don't like him as much as I like the other two. So I figured that I might enjoy Cold Comes The Night, despite hearing bad things about it. I became even more optimistic when I saw Osgood Perkins as one of the co-writers. That optimism quickly disappeared as the film started to play out.

Alice Eve is Chloe, a woman having a hard time of things. She's trying to keep custody of her daughter (Sophia, played by Ursula Parker), trying to run a far-from-idyllic motel, and not on best terms with her ex (a cop named Billy, played by Marshall-Green, she has had an affair with). Things go from bad to worse when someone is killed on the motel premises, and that someone was supposed to be working with a dangerous criminal named Topo (Cranston). Chloe ends up enlisted by Topo to help finish a job that has been started, but she also sees a way that she might be able to turn the situation to her advantage, especially when she realises how visually-impaired Topo is.

I've not seen anything else from director Tze Chun, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Perkins and Nick Simon, and I'm unlikely to now rush to anything else with his name on it. Cold Comes The Night is pretty awful, and it feels even worse because of how the main cast members have their talents squandered. Every character and moment feels like an inferior copy from numerous other movies. It's a VHS that has been used to record the Christmas Day TV schedule on long play for two decades, with any real detail or entertainment value now completely obscured by shadows and lots of static. 

Eve tries to make things work, despite the fact that she has once again picked a dud to star in, and Marshall-Green has one or two moments that at least punctuate the tiresome awfulness of the whole thing, but Cranston overshadows both of them, and not at all for the right reasons. His accent, his physical performance, his energy in every moment just feels completely wrong, which is at odds with how well he does with better material.

I want to be angry at this, if only on behalf of the main cast members who surely thought they were signing on for something a bit better, but I can't even do that. There's nothing here to fuel my rage because, well, there's nothing here. The cinematography is unexceptional, the score is unexceptional, the editing is . . . etc, I'm sure you see what I'm getting at. I'm not even really angry at Chun. He doesn't put any stamp on the film, and I can go through my life fairly safe in the knowledge that I'll have probably forgotten his name by the time I ever, IF I ever, see another film from him.

I didn't like this very much, which I think I have made very obvious, and I'll hopefully never have to think of it again after today.

3/10

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Argylle (2024)

The publicity and marketing for Argylle seemed to signify that it was going to be a fun spy romp for film fans. It would though, of course, because publicity and marketing is designed to get us all eager to buy whatever is being sold. Then the film was released, seemed to stumble at the box office (which may be putting it mildly), and one negative review after another started to make it clear that this wasn’t going to be a shining star in the 2024 movie calendar.

I am not sure why others seemed to hate this quite so much. I enjoyed it. I am not going to say that I loved it, and there are certainly moments that go a bit too far (in terms of the ridiculousness, the CGI, or both), but I had a fun time while it was on, and I would easily watch it again. It will never be top of my rewatch pile though.

Bryce Dallas Howard plays a writer, Elly, responsible for a successful series of spy novels about a special agent named Argylle. It is a world far removed from her own, where she simply likes to stay comfortable and spend time with her cat (Alfie), but worlds collide when she is approached by a real spy (Aidann, played by Sam Rockwell). People are after Elly, believing that she knows far too much about the world she is writing about, and there are twists and turns on the way to a final act that will ultimately reveal the true identity of “Argylle”.

It doesn’t matter if you are unfamiliar with writer Jason Fuchs, someone who has a limited number of full screenplay credits. The writing here is one of the least interesting components, and the plot is full of too many big holes throughout. This isn’t a well-constructed piece of work. It is a slice of silliness that seems designed to let director Matthew Vaughn have fun with some ridiculous set-pieces. That is how I saw it anyway, and that is how I managed to enjoy it. Not every action sequence works, but at least four of them kept me hugely entertained for the duration.

It helps that the cast is so good. Maybe I am missing a lot of the conversation happening around this, but I don’t think it can be underestimated how atypical Howard is for this kind of lead role. Does it make sense? No, but the way she is used here more than makes up for the lack of logic. She has to spend most of the first half of the movie looking dazed and vulnerable, but the second half gives her a lot more to do, and she acquits herself well. Rockwell gets one of his most fun roles in recent years, being the light-hearted and cocky pro that he does so well, and always ready to dance at any opportunity. Cavill is fun as the fictional avatar, even if he doesn’t suit the bad hairstyle he is given, and there is room for fun performances from Catherine O’Hara, Bryan Cranston, and, to a much lesser extent, and I do mean MUCH lesser, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, and Ariana DeBose.

I can see why this wasn’t a resounding success, mainly because of the plotting and the overuse of CGI, as well as a fairly lengthy runtime, and there are a few too many edits between Rockwell and Cavill as we are shown the action from the befuddled POV of our main character, but I just don’t see why it has been so lambasted. The big moments that work, in my view, work really well, including an action sequence on a train that is as energetic and inventive as I hoped it would be. Okay, the film doesn’t maintain that standard throughout, but it keeps trying, and Vaughn once again tries hard to complement his visuals with just the right soundtrack (although maybe it is obvious this time around that he is trying a bit too hard). 

Admittedly a bit complicated and needlessly confusing at times, which stems from the lack of proper plausibility in the plot, this is a good film that tries to be great fun, but only succeeds occasionally in that regard. It’s a mess, sure, but a messy film isn’t automatically a bad film, and I remain in the minority of people who will insist that this isn’t actually a bad film.

6/10

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'Twas The Night (2001)

If you want to watch one Christmassy Disney movie directed by 'The Shape" from Halloween then 'Twas The Night is the film for you. I'm not going to make a case for it being any kind of forgotten classic, but it will hit just the right nostalgia buttons for many, being tucked away alongside many other turn-of-the-century Disney TV movies on Disney+.

Written by Jim Lincoln, Dan Studney, and Jenny Tripp, a trio who spent a decade or so working on various Disney projects, this is supposed to be all about a young boy named Danny Wrigley (Josh Zuckerman), but viewers nowadays will have more fun watching his irresponsible uncle, Nick (played by Bryan Cranston). Idolised by his nephew, Nick is actually a small-time scammer who visits his family while he hides away from people who want to hurt him, wring money back out of him, or both. When they accidentally knock out Santa (Jefferson Mappin), Nick convinces Danny that they can use the special Santa gadgets to ensure everyone still gets their Christmas presents. It soon becomes clear, however, that Nick wants to rob a number of homes to give himself a bumper payday. But will Danny see the truth in time to stop Christmas from being ruined.

This is exactly what you think it is going to be, a fairly low-budget TV movie with a mix of amusing misbehaviour, some very mild peril, and occasional use of special effects to convey some magical "Santa powers". It's not one to seek out, nor is it overflowing with the Christmas atmosphere, but it's mildly entertaining stuff, and clocks in at a nice, short runtime of approximately 84 minutes. Zuckerman is the typical smartass-but-not-bad kid at the heart of it all, but most of the fun comes from watching Cranston's character trying to capitalise on an unbelievable stroke of good luck. Whether that is how the film was intended, or whether it just plays that way now with Cranston being such a familiar face, is beside the point. The fact is that Cranston helps to make this more fun than it otherwise might be.

Nobody else really stands out from the cast. Brenda Grate and Rhys Williams play Kaitlin and Peter, Nick's siblings, while Barclay Hope and Torri Higginson are the parents who have a couple of scenes trying to lay down some ground rules when Nick arrives, only to then disappear for the majority of the movie (because that is what the plot requires). Sandy Robson, and Jeff Geddis are the people looking to be reimbursed, and they have Jung-Yul Kim with them, acting as their "muscle". And let's not forget Mappin, in the role of Santa. In fact, let's actually just forget him, because he's quite forgettable in the role, and has to spend a lot of the movie powerless.

The direction is competent enough, the script is simple and fun, and this will please younger viewers who fall into the right age bracket for it. (I'm going to say between about 7-10, but please bear in mind that it's been a long time since I have curated any viewing choices for children . . . not  including my own inner child). Everyone else should find it decidedly average, but also pleasingly painless.

5/10

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Prime Time: Get A Job (2016)

Written by Kyle Pennekamp and Scott Turpel, and directed by Dylan Kidd, Get A Job is, in many ways, exactly the standard comedy that you think it is. And yet, in other ways, it inadvertently stands out as a melting pot of attitudes and ideas that many people (myself included) want to see changing.

Miles Teller is Will Davis, a young man who thinks he has his life sorted. He has just graduated, his girlfriend (Jillian, played by Anna Kendrick) has got herself a great job, and his friends seem to be poised to fall upwards. Unfortunately, the job that he thought would be there for him, after a lot of hours put in as an unpaid intern, isn’t. Which means he has to decide between doing what he loves and doing what he has to do in order to earn a decent wage. And things get even worse for his father (Bryan Cranston), who finds himself unemployed for the first time in decades.

Work needs done. We al know that. Not every job is going to be fulfilling. But that doesn’t mean anyone should be undervalued. If anything, the “unskilled” jobs that are seen as less desirable should pay just as much as some of the more enviable, cushy, numbers that we see people striving for in movies. Get A Job doesn’t consider that though. It is too busy working with the motto of “find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” This is a fantasy film, basically, but it accidentally scatters some reality throughout it.

Here are the positives. You get a reminder of how crappy it is to have someone in an unpaid role. You get a reminder of how disposable you are to any big company (shown in the way that Cranston’s character so suddenly finds himself adrift with no idea of where he might be able to go next). You get to see someone applying themselves to fully show what they are capable of, albeit often in a way that also has them feeling a bit restricted and very bloody tired. And, arguably best of all, you get a nice mockery of that whole “I’ll make sure you never work in this town again” attitude that some employers still think can work. Having been on the receiving end of that line of bullshit myself some time ago, I can assure you that it’s very rarely a serious threat. It is the flailing claws of a wounded predator used to being at the top of the food chain, and you should never let fear of repercussions from an employer stop you from valuing yourself enough to move to a better position (for any reason, be it pay, location, working environment, etc).

The cast do well enough, although the supporting players are a very mixed bag. As the friends of our lead, Brandon T. Jackson is easily integrated into the awful world of stock market trading, Nicholas Braun is a teacher who would rather spend his time getting stoned and playing videogames, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse has a plot all about creating an app that is basically every stalker’s wet dream. These three aren’t great, but there are much better turns from Alison Brie, Bruce Davison, Jorge Garcia, Marcia Gay Harden, Greg Germann, and Iohn C. McGinley, all playing a variety of adults already established in their respective workplaces. Kendrick is completely wasted in her role, which amounts to little more than 5-10 minutes of screentime, but both Teller and Cranston are very good, with the latter having some great moments with a local barista (Cammy, played by Mimi Gianopulos) who turns out to be more supportive than any official employment advisors.

Predictable, cheesy, but also fun, I won’t ever feel the need to rewatch this, but I enjoyed it well enough while it was on. The technical side of things is competent enough, the plotting fits everything together in an amusingly snug way for the third act, and it at least serves as a reminder that you should give your loyalty and time not to a job you may feel worn down and frustrated by, but to the people you care about.

5/10

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Prime Time: The Upside (2017)

Okay, some may dismiss The Upside because it is a glossy Hollywood remake of The Intouchables, a film based on a true story that has already remade a few other times since being so widely praised when it was released back in 2011. That's a shame. While it's not as good as the original film, it's a sweet retelling of it, and manages to retain the essence easily enough (the unlikely friendship forged between the two main characters).

Kevin Hart plays Dell Scott, an ex-con who needs to find a job, although some of the interviews he turns up for are for jobs he has no interest in, so he usually just asks for a signature that he can show to his parole officer. When he ends up in the home of a wealthy quadriplegic, Philip (Bryan Cranston), he figures that he won't be right for the job, so he asks for a signature. Instead, Philip offers him a job. It pays well, but comes with a lot of responsibility. Philip likes Dell because he doesn't patronise or judge him, but his assistant (Yvonne, played by Nicole Kidman) isn't so sure about the decision. Yvonne tells Dell that he will be out after three strikes. Dell, meanwhile, starts to repair his broken relationship with his ex (Aja Naomi King) and his son (Jahi Di'Allo Winston).

Director Neil Burger is at the helm here, working from a script by Jon Hartmere (his first feature, essentially following the structure of the original and allowing the casting to do all of the lifting). Nobody behind the camera seems to have too hard time of it. The story is strong enough to hold up, and there isn't too much to change when it comes to the main plot elements. Nothing is radically overhauled and there's no added style to let you know who is providing this vision. It's simple, solid, movie-making.

Thankfully, the casting is the part that they got spot on. I tend to enjoy Hart in movies, even when his movies aren't that great, and Cranston is almost always excellent. The two work well within their comfort zones (alright, Cranston has the harder job, but is easily up to the task) and also, more importantly, work well alongside one another, believable as two very different individuals who complement one another as their friendship develops through good times and bad. Kidman has a slightly thankless role, yet she does well enough with what she's given. Both King and Winston do well as the people Hart has let down in the past, Tate Donovan is a lot of fun in his small role (a wary neighbour), and there's a great small turn from Julianna Margulies, although the main scene that she's involved in is a painful one.

I would always recommend that you watch The Intouchables first if you've heard of the story and it sounds like something that would interest you, the original remains the best, but this is a perfectly enjoyable retelling of the tale, thanks largely to the work done by the two leads. Sometimes you're in the mood for a wonderful, original movie. And sometimes you're in the mood for the glossy Hollywood remake.

7/10

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Last Flag Flying (2017)

Last Flag Flying is a character piece, and it's a simple and moving one, mainly thanks to the strong turns from the three leads.

It's 2003. Larry Shepherd (Steve Carell) enters a bar, has a beer, and then prompts the barman to remember who he is. The barman is Sal Nealon (Bryan Cranston), and he soon realises that Larry is one of his army buddies from his days in the Vietnam war. This meeting isn't accidental. Larry asks Sal to accompany him on a little trip, which is how they end up in a church, listening to a sermon being delivered by Reverend Richard Mueller (Laurence Fishburne), who was also their army buddy. Larry then asks both men to accompany him on a longer trip. He has to attend the funeral of his son, a soldier shot while on duty over in Iraq.

Although it does nothing spectacular, and many may complain that it feels as if it does nothing at all, I found Last Flag Flying to be a quietly moving and altogether enjoyable viewing experience. The three central characters are very different people, but it's easy to see the bonds that join them together (even if there are times when they themselves can't see them).

Director Richard Linklater allows the leads to grow together organically, estranged friends who recapture their comfort and rhythms as the film plays out. He's helped by a script, co-written between himself and Darryl Ponicsan (from the novel by Ponicsan), that nails the central aspect of each character in their first few scenes before starting to flesh them out. I discovered, after watching the film, that these characters are supposed to be the same characters featured in The Last Detail, but it seems clear that Linklater was more interested in the main themes being explored than delivering a direct sequel to that story (I guess, considering the fact that three characters have had their names changed in this translation to the screen).

The performances are all excellent. Cranston is a bag of crudity and antagonism, and Fishburne is quiet and calm until pushed too far, but the standout is Carell, who impresses from his very first scene through to the affecting finale. J. Quinton Johnson is also very good, playing a young soldier who served with Sheperd's son, Deanna Reed-Foster is enjoyable in her limited screentime, and Yul Vazquez is a Colonel who gets his cool demeanor deliberately ruffled by Cranston's character.

While not a film that will stand out from Linklater's filmography, nor one that may be that celebrated or even remembered in a few years time, this is worth your time. Three actors get to do some damn fine work together, and sometimes that is all it takes to make an enjoyable movie-watching experience.

7/10

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Sci-Fi September: Total Recall (2012)

A lot of people love Total Recall, the 1990 movie directed by Paul Verhoeven that provided Arnold Schwarzenegger with another hit at the box office. I am one of those people. Which makes me one of the many people who groaned when they heard news of a remake. To be directed by Len Wiseman. Now, I actually quite like Wiseman's work. He makes glossy entertainment, and I think now that people have seen the godawful A Good Day To Die Hard we can all agree that the fourth movie doesn't actually seem THAT bad. Okay, I might still be on my own there, but the point I am making is that I was willing to give this one a go.

Colin Farrell stars as Douglas Quaid, a factory worker who starts to have strange dreams involving fighting, escape attempts, and a beautiful woman (Jessica Biel). He doesn't seem satisfied with his life, which is a bit strange considering that he's married to Kate bloody Beckinsale. It must be to do with the fact that he lives in The Colony, while all of the better opportunities go to the people from the United Federation of Britain. These are the only two living spaces left on Earth, after a period of chemical warfare, and The Colony is packed with citizens viewed as the lower/working class. Quaid decides to visit Rekall, a company that can insert memories into your brain, and opts for a memory that will give him an exciting adventure as a secret agent. Unfortunately, things don't go according to plan. It turns out that Quaid may already have some false memories creating a conflict within him.

Total Recall starts off quite well. The world displayed onscreen is nicely realised and textured, Farrell, Beckinsale and Biel are all good enough for their main roles, and there are fleeting glimpses of some great actors who you just know will appear later on in the film (Bryan Cranston, and Bill Nighy). The action is solid, there's an interesting layer to the movie that focuses on class and societal manipulation, and I started to consider that this was starting to prove itself as a decent remake. A retread of material - both movies are based on "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick - that was able to offer up more than just a reprise of what we already enjoyed years ago.

But then it starts to lose steam. Not a major problem, at first, but after the first hour has gone by and the movie settles into a dull cycle of action-chase-paranoia-repeat then it becomes tiresome. In fact, by the time both Nighy and Cranston eventually appear it's too late. Neither man gets to make a decent impression because viewers are too busy concentrating on trying to stay awake. This kind of material shouldn't be so unexciting.

A lot of people had a hand in the writing of the movie, with Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback credited as the main writers, but that's not reflected in the final product. The exposition is fine, and needs to be with such ideas about identity and paranoia, but everything else is found lacking, from the lines uttered in the thick of any action to the ineffective characterisations. This is a film populated by decent actors as opposed to any good characters.

Wiseman does his usual solid job in the director's chair, revelling in the effects and showing off when he gets the chance. There's a one-shot fight sequence that manages to impress, although it doesn't make up for the lack of energy elsewhere. If only he could have maintained the quality of that first 40 minutes, this could have been a very pleasant surprise. Alas, it wasn't to be.

Beckinsale steals the show, her husband (Wiseman) knows how to utilise her well in movies, and the movie moves up a notch whenever she's onscreen. Farrell is solid in his role, putting himself across as a capable everyman with an undercurrent of Jason Bourne. Jessica Biel is, unfortunately, the worst person in the movie. It's not her fault, and I love seeing Biel in anything, but her character is horribly underdeveloped and neglected. It's almost as if she was added as an afterthought. She may be a worthy companion during the fights, but any other interactions she has with Farrell could be consigned to the rubbish bin with very little impact on the movie. Bokeem Woodbine does alright with his small role, John Cho sports a fun, blonde hairdo, and I've already mentioned the main problems for Nighy and Cranston, although the former also struggles with an American accent.

There are worse movies you could pick when you fancy a bit of sci-fi action. There are also many better ones, including the original film that this is based on.

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/Total-Recall-Blu-ray-Colin-Farrell/dp/B0092QITO2/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1409479079&sr=1-3&keywords=total+recall

Bonus Review: Godzilla (2014)

Let me start this review by reminding people that I was in the minority when it came to Monsters, the cinematic feature debut of Mr. Gareth Edwards. I thought that the film was good, but not great. Edwards had the potential to do much better, I thought. When the news came that he’d been handed Godzilla, I was as excited as anyone else. And as the hype machine started to gather speed I was definitely eager to be wowed by this movie. I paid extra for IMAX tickets, I picked the best seats available, and I slipped on the 3D glasses.

And two hours later I walked out of the cinema with a feeling of disappointment.

What’s the plot? Well, after a fantastic credit sequence, we get to see Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) trying to figure out what to do about tremors that he fears may cause problems for the Japanese nuclear power station he works at. Those tremors do cause problems. Major problems. Fast forward by fifteen years and Joe is still obsessing over just what happened. The area is, apparently, dangerously radioactive, but Joe thinks that something is being covered up. When he’s arrested for trespassing, while trying to access his own home (abandoned in the middle of the disaster, it has some of his work/research that he desperately needs), it’s up to his son, Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), to travel to Japan, pick him up and try to keep him out of further trouble. Ford had just started to enjoy some leave time from the military, settling down with his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and son (Carson Bolde), but picking up his dad will soon be the least of his worries. It’s not long until a MUTO – Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism – shows up and starts to make a mess, to put it mildly. And then, well, it’s only a matter of time until the titular creature makes an appearance.

Godzilla is not a BAD film, and many fans of the big guy have expressed their absolute delight with the final product, but it’s a film that highlights just how small the bag of tricks is that director Edwards is working with. Most of the movie can be summed up in this way – camera looks at character, character looks awestruck, camera then moves to reveal part of whatever is inspiring reaction. Seriously, remove every shot just like that and you could probably shave ten minutes off the runtime. Some have complained about the slow build, but that really didn’t bother me. Patience is a virtue, and it’s fair enough to make people wait and wait for the main event. It’s a shame, however, that an early trick/gag of cutting away from some monstrous action is then repeated on so many occasions that you start to suspect that the whole thing is one big leg-pull. The big third act was interrupted a few times, each time cutting away to scenes that seemed painfully boring compared to what viewers knew they were missing out on.

It’s also a shame that everything felt as if it was taking place in a large studio lot, as opposed to a city full of people. I know that evacuation measures were put into place, but I find it hard to believe that the location of the final battle would be cleared out so quickly. The end result is something that feels impressive, but also feels as if it is taking place in a vacuum. This is a failing highlighted by just how potentially great the mid-point sequence in Hawaii is, but that set-piece is one of those just used to tease the audience on the way to the grand finale.

The acting from everyone concerned is just fine for the film. I thought Taylor-Johnson was decent enough as the rather bland military man who ends up stuck in the middle of a monster mash, Cranston is the human highlight of the cast, but isn’t around for long enough, and Olsen has to look concerned a lot of the time, which she does. Ken Watanabe gets a few choice lines, he’s a man who knows what Godzilla is and how he should be respected, while Sally Hawkins hangs around beside him and isn’t given all that much to do at all. And then there’s David Strathairn, who does well as the Admiral trying to save as many lives as possible. While nobody, Cranston aside, is on their best form, complaining about the acting in a Godzilla movie is like complaining about there not being enough sex and violence in a Pixar film. The two don’t really go together, so just sit back and enjoy it for what it is.

The other main stars are pretty superb, it must be said, with Godzilla looking the best that he’s ever looked. He may be a CG creation, but he feels real, he has weight, and his appearance mixes new touches with the established, classic template. Similiar praise can be heaped upon any other creatures onscreen, although it’s a shame that the main MUTO feels a bit too much like a blend between the creature from Cloverfield and Super 8.

The script by Max Borenstein is okay, bringing a seriousness back to the franchise that was missing in the much-maligned 1998 movie (a film which most like to dismiss, but I enjoyed). But giving the movie a serious tone and forgetting to include ANY sense of fun are two very different things. Aside from one cheeky gag – a big showdown being played on a news report – the film is a pretty po-faced and humourless affair. Thankfully, it does include plenty to appease fans, and at least consistently tries to deliver spectacle on a grand scale.

Last, but by no means least, I have to mention the superb audio work. The score, by Alexandre Desplat, is almost flawless throughout, and I’ll happily admit that there have been few sounds to impress me in the cinema half as much as hearing that mighty Godzilla roar.

Even if you end up as disappointed as I was, this is a film to see on the big screen, accompanied by a superior sound system. Although it falls down on a number of main points, there are also still many great moments in the movie. Edwards has done what he set out to do. Put Godzilla back on the big screen, atomic breath and all, in a movie that gives him the respect he deserves. Maybe next time he’ll also respect the audience a little bit more.

6/10

While waiting for the Bluray further down the line, quench your kaiju thirst with this collection - http://www.amazon.com/Godzilla-Collection-Yuriko-Hoshi/dp/B000VXWK86/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1400613055&sr=1-2&keywords=godzilla

Terror Tract (2000)

A horror anthology movie with a nice streak of black humour weaving through most of it, Terror Tract sits very much in a safe middle ground when compared to other films of its ilk.

John Ritter plays Bob Carter, a real estate agent showing some lovely homes to Allen and Mary Ann Doyle (David DeLuise and Allison Smith). Bob Carter is a charming, decent man but he may just be a bit too honest for his job. He ends up telling the Doyles a story in each house that they visit, a story about the people who previously owned the property. There don't seem to be too many happy endings.
House/tale 1 - Sarah York plays an unfaithful wife who is about to be caught out by her husband, played by Fredric Lehne. Carmine Giovinazzo is the lover caught in the middle of a very nasty situation and Wade Williams is the local law enforcement who starts to suspect that something is amiss.
House/tale 2 - Bryan Cranston finds his life turned upside down by a vicious monkey. Yes, you read that right. Bryan Cranston vs. a monkey.
House/tale 3 - A young man (Sean Estes) tries explaining to a doctor (Brenda Strong) that he seems to have some psychic link to a serial killer. The doctor is, understandably, on edge and wonders whether or not the young man actually IS the killer, dissociating himself from his actions.

The downside of Terror Tract is that none of the individual tales are that great. The second tale is the best, mainly because, as I may have mentioned, it has Bryan Cranston vs. a monkey, but this is an anthology movie lacking that one great story that everyone can pick as their favourite.

The acting is solid from everyone, the script by Clint Hutchison is okay, if a bit flat, and the direction from both Hutchison and Lance W. Dreesen is competent, if unremarkable. Where the movie excels is in the wraparound content. Ritter is as much fun as he usually is, DeLuise and Smith are both very good and things build up to a final sequence that shows how much better the rest of the movie could have been if it had managed to maintain a more consistent tone from start to finish.

It may not make your list of "best anthology movies ever" but Terror Tract is an enjoyable enough watch, boosted by a sense of fun and some decent performances. Don't make it a top priority, but do try to check it out some time.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/House-On-Terror-Tract-DVD/dp/B000B64VYO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379941667&sr=8-1&keywords=terror+tract

Larry Crowne (2011)

When I sat down to watch Larry Crowne I admit that I wasn't expecting to like it. It just seemed as if it was something a bit too safe and twee and uninteresting. And, in a way, it was all of those things. Yet it was also quite enjoyable in an old-fashioned way, a vehicle for Tom Hanks to star in, direct and also write (with Nia Vardalos). He even finds a role for his wife, Rita Wilson.

Hanks is the titular character, a man who finds himself at a bit of a loss when he is fired from his job. Times are tough but Crowne hopes for the best when he enrols in some further education classes. One of those classes is being taught by Mrs Tainot (Julia Roberts), a woman who doesn't really have much enthusiasm for her job any more. Thankfully, Larry Crowne brings out the best in everyone. His teacher starts to properly teach, his classmates start trying to actually learn what they're being taught and the lovely Alvarez (Roxana Ortega) enjoys a new pet project when she decides to help "Lance Corona" make himself a bit more socially active and cool.

Larry Crowne is actually, for almost 3/4 of the runtime, a good film. Hanks is as likeable as ever, Roberts is okay and the support from Roxana Ortega, Wilmer Valderrama, Pam Grier, George Takei, Cedric The Entertainer, Bryan Cranston and others (including a fun couple of scenes for Rob Riggle) really help to lift what is, essentially, average material. At best. From the opening titles, accompanied by a lively ELO track, to about the halfway point, I was able to overlook many of the negatives and enjoy myself. However, once it gets to the halfway point, the negatives start to become harder to overlook.

The biggest failing that the movie has, and that builds and builds up to an end credit sequence which involves characters actually waving to the audience, is a certain smugness. It's almost as if the movie makes the assumption that everyone will find the main characters so endearing that they'll be sad to see the end credits roll. Hanks does well as director, nothing flashy but he keeps everything nicely paced, though he's not as talented in the writing department, which piles up cliche after cliche.

I saw the trailer for this movie, as did many people, and thought "well, that's probably not for me". As the first half of the movie kept moving nicely along I started to change my mind. Maybe I'd been too cynical and the fact that this was just a decent movie with a bit of a sweet, soft centre wasn't all that bad. But as the sweetness started to build up to levels threatening to give me dental problems and/or put me into a diabetic coma I was able to see that my first impressions were correct.

There are many other people who will enjoy this much more than I did, people who want something that's slightly removed from every other comic book movie, zombie flick or shoot 'em up, and I can see the appeal. I've actually rated the movie as slightly above average because there were a number of little moments, even if they were covered in cheese, that I enjoyed. I laughed, I wanted the lead character to do well, I was won over. The film succeeded. For that first half, at least.

6/10

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