For It Is Man's Number: thandiwe newton

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Friday, 13 February 2026

Anaconda (2025)

If the world was crying out for a comedic reboot of the Anaconda movie series then nobody decided to mention that to me. There's a chance that the world wasn't crying out for such a thing, but then . . . why would this exist otherwise?

Jack Black plays Doug McCallister, a man stuck making wedding videos when he really wants to be directing movies. His long-time friend, Ronald Griffin Jr. (Paul Rudd), is an actor unable to really gain any momentum in his career. Ronald doesn't have much going for him, but he does have the rights to Anaconda, apparently, which leads to him convincing Doug, Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) to travel to the Amazon and rework a movie they all have a strangely strong connection with. They meet Ana (Daniela Melchior) once over there, a capable woman who ends up being added to the small cast of their movie, and eventually also meet a very real, and very large, anaconda.

Written by Kevin Etten and directed by Tom Gormican, who both entertained me with their last collaboration, The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent, this is one of the strangest and least satisfying mainstream movies I have watched in some time. Okay, I wasn't exactly hyped for this when I first heard about the tonal change in the series, but I still assumed that my appreciation of the main cast members would allow me to get some enjoyment from it. I was VERY wrong.

Jack Black can be very funny, Paul Rudd is someone I consider a bit of a treasure, Steve Zahn has been delivering delightful turns for decades now, and Thandiwe Newton has done enough good work by now to make me forgive her stilted performance in the second Mission: Impossible movie. I want to be clear about how much I like all of these people in the right movies. This is not the right movie. It's a tonal mess that doesn't do well enough with the jokes about film-making, doesn't deliver any proper snakey thrills, and doesn't have anything else going for it, with the exception of a couple of fun cameos. Zahn is a highlight, but Dan Silveira upstages everyone as a snake-handler named Timo who has the advantage of possessing a snake that he claims is friendly and obedient, despite the size of the thing. Melchior, and the entire sub-plot that she's involved with, feels completely unnecessary, and I would have much preferred the movie to concentrate on the other added conflict that is brought up at just around the halfway mark before being fumbled and discarded within the space of a few scenes.

Undemanding viewers should still find one or two chuckles here, but they're too few and far between throughout the 99-minute runtime. Other than those fleeting bright spots, nothing else works. At all. And it's saying something when you watch a 2025 Anaconda movie and start thinking fondly of the uneven special effects in the 1997 film.

Maybe not the worst mainstream movie I've seen this decade, but I am currently struggling to think of one I would rank below it.

3/10

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Sunday, 7 January 2024

Netflix And Chill: Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023)

Making a sequel to Chicken Run seemed like a bad idea. While it may not quite hit the heights of the wonderful Wallace & Gromit movie, the first film remains quite a beloved animated feature. What could be gained in revisiting that world, especially when someone felt that both lead voices needed recast? Thankfully, Chicken Run: Dawn Of The Nugget proves a worthy successor to the original film. It's not quite as good, but it's another fantastic adventure that's crammed full of fowl humour.

Some time has passed since the events of the first film. The characters are living happily in their own little free-range paradise. Ginger (now voiced by Thandiwe Newton) and Rocky (now voiced by Zachary Levi) have had a child, Molly (Bella Ramsey). Both parents are, understandably, a bit over-protective, but Molly ends up wandering out of the accepted safety zone, befriending another chicken (Frizzle, voiced by Josie Sedgwick-Davies) and being too curious for her own good. Molly and Frizzle end up in Fun-Land Farms, a place depicted as a delightful playground for chickens. But Fun-Land Farms has a dark and disturbing secret, and Ginger and Rocky have to assemble a team to break in and rescue their daughter, and a whole new group of chickens.

Directed by Sam Fell, who has previous credits that include the equally-excellent, but very different, ParaNorman and Flushed Away, and written by Karey Kirkpartrick, John O'Farrell, and Rachel Tunnard (as well as numerous other contributors, ensuring a great big sachet of flavouring spices sprinkled all over the film), this is an impressively fresh and funny adventure that manages to craft another worthwhile escapade for some recognisable characters. It may not seem as cine-literate as the first film, but it continues to throw around a lot of fun gags and great ideas, and impressively avoids changing the personalities of the main characters to fit into this new scenario.

All of the new voices work well enough in their feather-covered roles (even if I agree with the many others who questioned exactly why Sawalha wasn't asked to voice Ginger once more), and Ramsey is a perfect fit for the young and impulsive Molly. David Bradley feels like a great replacement for the late Benjamin Whitrow, voicing Fowler, and it's great to have Lynn Ferguson, Jane Horrocks, and Imelda Staunton back for their respective characters. Sedgwick-Davies also does well, and both Romesh Ranganathan and Daniel Mays effortlessly take over the voices of two helpful rats, Nick and Fletcher. Elsewhere, but just as important for this kind of thing, the vocal talents of Peter Serafinowicz, Nick Mohammed, and Miranda Richardson (another returning cast member) are put to great use as the looming threats to our plucky cluckers.

I'm generally an easy mark for any Aardman Animation projects, and I went into this with a sense of optimism after enjoying the trailer for it. Despite the gap of time in between the two films, this is an excellent sequel to a modern classic. The fact that it isn't quite as good isn't surprising, considering the greatness of the first film. The fact that it's as good as it is, well, that's the surprise. And I hope others enjoy it as much as I did. We now have two features that can be paired together for an eggs-ellent double-bill. You knew that pun was going to appear here at least once.

8/10