Sunday 19 November 2017

12 Deaths Of Christmas (2017)

AKA Mother Krampus.

12 Deaths Of Christmas is a low-budget British horror movie, which means that it could be great or it could be painful. Well, I don't see any reason to beat about the bush here, this is painful.

Considering the fact that director James Klass seems to have made this at the same time as House On Elm Lake (also involving Scott Jeffrey, who was the main writer here), and that a number of small British horrors are appearing with both of their names attached somewhere, and a number of shared cast members, I'd have to say that someone has done their very best to stretch a limited budget even further, and that getting all of these movies on the shelves is a calculated gamble to get the undemanding horror fan to pick them up cheap enough before they realise what a bunch of shit they have in their hands.

Of course, I could be totally wrong. Maybe the other films churned out by this loose troupe are fantastic. I haven't seen them. Maybe I will be brave enough one day. Today is not that day. I have to recover from this one first.

The plot here involves a vengeful spirit claiming the lives of children related to people who at one time banded together to form an angry lynch mob. That angry lynch mob was responsible for killing a woman they suspected of being a child murderer, and there you have the "interesting" backstory for the events unfolding onscreen. There are one or two twists and turns, with none of them being all that surprising, interesting, or even logical, and it's hard to stay interested as the film stumbles from one clumsy, amateur scene to another. I'd given up on it by the time a "powerful" scene was shown with a score that attempted to emulate the work of Philip Glass, coincidentally about five minutes after Candyman had been referenced. No. Just no.

I don't like to throw insults around when writing movie reviews, mainly because I try to remember that it can take a hell of a lot of work just to get any film made, but it's hard for me to avoid upsetting anyone while pointing out specific flaws here. The script is atrocious, with not one line managing to feel natural, the direction from Klass is generally competent, I guess, but then we also have to consider his ability to get decent performances from his cast members. He doesn't manage it. At all.

Claire-Maria Fox is awful, young Faye Goodwin is awful (and I take no pleasure in having to say that about a child who probably relied more on direction than most of the adult performers), Tony Manders is awful, and Michelle Archer is, you guessed it, awful. Tara MacGowran isn't awful, but she just has to show up and look evil before causing people injury and death. So that worked out well for her, and allows me to double my rating for the film. Dottie James and Tom Bowen bring us back to the more usual awfulness, however, and everyone else appearing onscreen manages to stay on their level.

If you will watch ANY horror movie then give this a go one day, if you're brave enough. I would say the same if you watch ANY Christmas movie. But you should always have other, better, options. Including that Christmas roaring fire video that you can usually find online. In fact, here you go, I will save you searching for it. And save you from ever having to watch this film.


If you haven't been completely put off, feel free to waste your money on the disc here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deaths-Christmas-DVD-Becky-Fletcher/dp/B07556FV1S

2/10

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