I'm not going to pretend to have cared about any of the cast, so you'll not get a breakdown of the various acting performances, but there IS a story to tell. Things start with a death at a waterpark. It's all very ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma, then it's on to life at the waterpark, which means people having fun in between displaying their dislike of others. You see the different groups, you get the obvious red herrings, and everything builds towards that killer finale. Who is responsible though, and what is their motivation? Sadly, the answer to both of these questions will leave most viewers cold, as nothing is done in a way that actually comes close to the films it is trying to emulate.
First of all, most of the classic slashers start off with a decent kill or a tragic accident (one that motivates the killer, of course, as they are either the direct victim or driven mad by the tragedy). Although this starts with a kill, it's not impressive enough.
Second, start the bodycount. Some slasher movies pace themselves, some quick kills here and there on the way to the big reveal of all the corpses in the third act, and some just go all out to provide a constant stream of gore and bloodshed. Aquaslash forgets this factor, with almost a whole hour between proper kills.
Third, you usually have a cast full of potential victims and suspects. This doesn't. The cast all do their job - Nicolas Fontaine, Lanisa Dawn, and Brittany Drisdelle are the nominal leads, in my view - but they aren't allowed to have any fun in a way that puts them on a par with their counterparts from decades ago. Which means viewers struggle to have any investment, in terms of connection or simple entertainment value.
Gauthier has good intentions, which is all clear when you get to the absolutely superb final set-piece, but it's hard to think how someone can attempt to use the classic slasher template and end up with something so far off the mark, and lacking a proper sense of fun.
5/10
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